Pairings: Victor/James(Sabertooth/Wolverine), Smitty/Rose, James/Rose, Kurt/Kitty, Jean/Scott, Logan/Storm.

A Waking Dream

Ch.2: Jimmy, We're Two Of A Kind

Logan had already learned some things about this town...and most of them he wasn't even sure made sense to him. For one, many people here assumed he was someone by the name of James Logan. Okay, so that was the name that also resided on in that old war profile that he had found, but that didn't explain to him that he was this James Logan person. For two, people here didn't use money exactly...they barded for the things that they happened to need, and even for the tv's and things. They got everything practically free, yet they still took money if all you had like him was a few personal things and the clothes on his back. For three, the main place in town was a boarding house called "Keep Dreaming" in the middle of town next to the Mayors' place. And maybe the most important thing, there was no place to get information sept for the Mayors' home, which was where he was heading right now to hopefully finally get the answers that he was missing.

Okay, if I dun get some answers here then I wont bother to stay here any longer...why would they only have the towns history here anyways! God damn it...if my past isn't here, then I swear...I'll have to bust into Shield and get some firkin answers already...! I'm sick and tired of not finding any good leads...Will now I will figure out finally...who the hell I am...and if I am this...James Logan person! He walked into the building where a man stood talking to a woman behind a desk. The woman then spotted Logan and turned to him.

"Hello?" She said, looking kind of uneasy about him being there. He said nothing and looked around somewhat. Simple place, nothin' special. "Do you need something Sir?" She knew he was from out of town, he could tell. He looked back at her and weakly smiled, not one of his best points.

"I'm lookin' for the town records Miss. Names' Logan." Logan replied. "I have amnesia, and I kinda need some info, clues led me here, and I hope to find the information I need...sooo...where are these...records of the town?" He asked, shrugging some and unconsciously moving his hands as he spoke, not really understanding why.

"The records?" She whispered and then stood up. "Of course Mr. Logan." She said nodding. "We keep all of them in the back for safety reasons." She explained as she opened the door that was behind her. "What do you want to know about exactly? I'll retrieve the records." She said and Logan closed his eyes to think for a moment.

"I need...records on James Logan, James Howlette, and...records from the early 1900's, up to about the 30's...if you could." Logan said, he hoped he would find the information in these files. She nodded and walked into the back, a few minutes that felt like hours to Logan, passed before she came back with books, four to be exact.

"This one is on James Logan/James Howlette, believed to be the same person." It was tattered, obviously read more times than it was intended to with a worn out blue cover where the words James, two lives, one person lay. She handed him one that was seemingly not even touched before now, with a red cover. "This covers the 1-15 years here, and the next one has the next fifteen." She said handing him this time a green covered book. "This one..." It was tattered as well, sept here you could not see the cover of the book besides that it was a deep brown color at one time. "...is...well...I think you should just look in it, you need to know for your self." Logan blinked but nodded, taking the books, saying a quick bye before leaving. He headed over to a tree and looked at the books. Okay, so he wasn't that happy with reading...but this was the info he needed.

The Diary of James Howlette:

Entry 100 -The Day We Left-:

Today something horrid happened at my home. killed my father...and I...snapped...with this anger in me something like claws shot from my knuckles...and I killed , and cut up Dog's face. I'm scared...but Victor tells me not to be, that he and Rose will be there for me...I hope they will be. I'm scared to end up on my own. If I do, what will happen to me? I cannot survive on my own...I'm weak as Victor says, and he tries to make me stronger. I am frail, Rose says, and she tried to keep me going no matter the pain I am in. It is hard though, when I think myself to maybe be a monster of some kind. Well, I cannot worry about that now. I have to worry about finding my way in life. We have to find some way to live, though a man by the name of Smitty has offered us a place to stay. We can help him out as return and it would really help us...but Victor is worried he will find out about us...and if he does what happens? I'm really worried about what will happen...If only something could happen that would be good for us...after all the problems that have happened to us...we are so young...how much more pain will we go through?

Entry 102 -I...I...-

What have I done...? I...I killed...her...I...Dog attacked me...my half-brother? Yes...he is like Victor, we share the same father, Thomas Logan. I have taken on that last name as well...and I don't know whether I should regret it or not. When Dog attacked me, I...I did something I am not proud of, I killed Rose...on accident...but...it hurt...and I ran. I ran as far as I possibly could manage to. Victor long leftr us...He said that we had no reason to stay in that town and maybe I should have listened to him and gone with him, maybe then Rose would still be alive today and I wouldn't be feeling so bad. I wonder, can I maybe find Victor? He told me he would always be there for me when I needed him, and I really do need him right about now. I hope I can find him...because I need him...My brother. I need my brother!...and I need him soon.

Entry 103 -Finally...-

I finally found my brother, he had been working in the mines in an effort to get some place to live now. We have nothing, but each other and I am content with that. I do not need anything else but him at the moment, he is plenty enough for me at the moment, and he cares so much about me as well. He tells me often that it was not my fault that I killed Rose. He told me often that it was all Dog's fault of it, he was the reason that Rose was killed, it was not anyone else but his fault, not myself. It was not my fault...of course it wasn't...it was Dog's fault. I love that he knows the real me, the side of me that no one else seems to know, one that is not the monster they see when I show my claws...but the other side of me...a side I have only shown to a few select people over my life time, one being Victor...I guess I got off track here with my righting, been doing that a lot, this is the third time I have wrote this entry...oh well. I am content with it now, all I have to worry about is someone reading this at sometime. Agh...would Victor make fun of me if he knew I kept a diary...but oh well. If I ever lose my memory I know I can find it again!

Logan paused in his reading and chuckled bitterly. Man, was that ironic, irony...gee. Did his self know that he would lose his memory or something? Because it seemed like it. Wait...his self? Yes, that was right. He was this person...he could tell, the clues all matched together, they could not be fake could they? Yes, a memory of these things were locked in his mind. He decided then that he would look for...anything that would help him remember more. It would take him forever to read through all of this, and he wasn't a reader. He scanned over the text and soon enough he spotted something that interested. An entry with no number...but it was titled. Jimmy, We're Two Of A Kind.

Jimmy, We're Two Of A Kind:

I've noticed lately you know, that you have been acting odd Jimmy...I found this in you're pillow case. I'm sorry, but I read through this. I had to know what was bugging you. Now I know...you are scared to be different from the rest of the people You don't want to be the last person out there. You wont be Jimmy...I'm here for you whether you think so or not. We're two of a kind, and one will always be there for the other. I don't know how many times I have told you that either. But I know, I know that I will be there for you no matter what you say. Stop blaming yourself for Rose's death, I told you once before and I will tell you again Jimmy. It was Dog's fault, not yours...if it was yours then I would imagine that it would have been you who started the fight. Please, stop thinking these bad thoughts, I do not see it to be good for you to get depressed.

Our Father was nothing but a bitter man Jimmy. Yer mother was...different than mine but she was better than mine. She died, also thinking that I was once a monster. Yer mom thought it as well Jimmy, but you know what...it doesn't matter as long as we have each other, we will always be together through good and bad Jimmy. I promise you...I really do, and even if something shall happen to take us apart, make us go different ways. I will still always be there for you to cry on...to be there, to hold you. My little brother, I promise you...that no matter what, I will be there, just for you. No one else...I promise...I don't know how many times I will have to tell you that I promise you...but I do...I will always be there for you...because Jimmy, we're two of a kind.

Yer Brother,
Victor Creed

Creed, he knew that name. He had heard it before from Xavier, which confused him for a long time because the other had refused to explain to him what it meant. Now things were starting to fall into place. This...Victor Creed person, he was related to him, and he knew that Xavier knew it as well. Why wouldn't he tell him? Logan sighed and shook his head, now what was he supposed to do? He knew who he was, but little to no memories were coming back to him, not giving him the information he wanted. Not to mention this town, what was it about this town that bugged him so much?

"Found ya." A voice said then and his eyes widened. Why...the hell...why hadn't he sensed someone come up on him? He wasn't really sure, but he did know, that this person had sensed him out somehow. He started to turn slowly, claws slowly leaving his knuckles. Something caught his wrists however, and he growled as he was flipped down and onto the ground, the books he had were under him, digging into him. He ignored that however, and glared up at the man above him. Strangely the man looked a lot like him, and his heart contracted in his chest as he gazed up at this man. "What...dun remember me Jimmy?" The other asked before he spotted the book. He blinked and picked it up, still somehow managing to keep Logan pinned beneath him. "The…this is…you did forget…" Logan blinked and then growled.

"The hell are you talking about?" He growled at the other who sighed softly. He felt a hand move to his hair and slowly start to run through it. Logan wasn't sure why…but against better judgment he relaxed to the touch. He took a breath, and then closed his eyes. "I…yer…Creed…aren't ya?" He whispered and the other…he could feel smile on the others face.

"Ya finally get it Jimmy." The other whispered. "Thank god ya actually know something'." Victor muttered then moved up and off of his little brother, and the other opened his eyes and sat up. "15 years I've been searchin'…and I finally found ya…" The older one whispered before he pulled his brother back to his arms. "15 years of worrin' about ya, and I found ya. 15 years...do you know...what I went through to find ya...? I had ta fight yer buddies, just to get information on ya being alive...and where you were. Yet they had no idea where you where, and I had ta look for ya on my own..." He smirked softly then and hugged the other, pulling him into his arms, and closing his eyes. "Jimmy...dun ever leave me again...ya walked away one too many times..."

"I wont. But what if this is nothing but a dream Victor...? Is this nothing but a dream...? I want to know everything...why does this feel like a dream I need to wake from? Tell me...please tell me...Brother...am I just dreaming about this?"

A waking dream...

It's when you feel like reality is nothing but a dream...

A dream...that you maybe don't want to wake from...

A dream...that maybe you do want to wake from...

But to some, they don't know if they want to wake from a reality of a dream...

For Logan, he doesn't know whether or not he can trust his reality...and think of it as so...or, is it just a dream that he will wake from and wish he didn't?

This, is a waking dream...an awakening reality that some want and some do not want to accept.

How long will it take for one to choose they're path?

You will never know, you have to accept one thing sometime or another...

Logan, you are not an acceptation...you will have to decide, what do you really care about?

Will you choose to think of this of nothing but a dream you want to wake from, or will you finally realize what is true...what is reality...and what you want to think is all but a dream...it is for you to decide. But will you choose the right path?

Don't worry little brother, I know what that person happens to be after, and its you. If you remember yer past, our past, then I know someone will be after. Or, that one person that tried ta kill me and take you for yourself. You are what I care about most, because we really are two of a kind, Jimmy. We are two of a kind, always there for one another, and nothing can take that away from us. I promise you...nothing bad will happen to you now. I am not leaving you ever again.