When Daniel said that, about having everything in his life under control, I pushed my glass away a bit more and

said, "Okay."

I said it in a sort of doubting way, and Daniel caught it, raising an eyebrow. "You don't believe me, huh?" he asked, in a

light tone.

I shrugged, and he said, still in a teasing banter, "That's Rule #13 in the OBH, Always Take Everything I Say as Solid Gold Fact."

Daniel and his silly Older Brother's Handbook.

I gave him a semi-serious scolding look, and he turned serious, then, too.

"Come on, squirt. You're makin' this way harder than it has to be."

"I'm not trying to," I said, in defense.

"You don't think you can do this for me? Give Jill a fair shot?"

"I told you that I would," I reminded him.

"Yeah. Okay. So-what's the deal, then? Tell me what I can say to put your mind at ease about it all," Daniel said.

I bit my lower lip, and leaned forward a bit. I wondered if I had the actual courage it would take to say the words.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Daniel," I said.

Daniel sighed and looked a bit regretful. He reached out across the table and took both of my hands in his own.

"What is it?" he asked. "Just say it."

I sighed too, and said, "Okay. I wanna support you."

When I hesitated, Daniel nodded. "I know," he said, encouragingly.

"You've said you feel responsible-even though you're not," I said. "You've said you want to take care of Jill, and

the baby."

Daniel nodded, waiting.

"You've never said that you're in love with her," I said. "Are you?"

I saw so much pass over Daniel's face in that moment, and in the next few. Shock, and then hesitation. And, then, resignation.

He let go of my hands, and leaned back against the booth seat.

I could tell he was weighing words in his head, trying to decide something.

"Today was supposed to be about us really talking," I reminded him. "I'm not a little kid, Daniel."

"Oh, I know that," he said. "If you were still little, then you wouldn't be askin' something like that."

"Are you?" I persisted.

"We care about each other," Daniel said, slowly. "It's a love that I hope will grow."

Suddenly, it seemed as though there was no more to say, or to ask. My stomach was knotted. Things were too intense.

I wanted Daniel to look happy-go-lucky again, like he had a few minutes before, when he'd been teasing and smiling.

"What does the OBH have to say about a quick game or two of bowling?" I asked him.

7

I suggested the bowling to Daniel because-well, because the conversation had become just too much for me. I knew

what Daniel had said, and what he had not said, in answer. I didn't want to talk about him and Jill and their relationship or

all the intricacies of it. I wanted to see him smile and lose what seemed to be nearly sadness in his eyes.

We tried to go to the bowling alley, but there were tournaments going on, and all the lanes were full. So, instead, we

headed home. With my mind on the end result of lightening the mood, I found a station on the truck radio, and some

upbeat, bouncy tunes, and Daniel and I sang along, all the way home.

7

When Daniel and I got home, it was early afternoon. He asked me to take his guitar strings and sheet music into the house,

and we parted ways, as he went off to find the other guys and do some work.

I laid his stuff on top of the piano, and went upstairs to my room to change to old chore clothes. Back out in the hallway,

I heard pounding from Clare and Brian's attic rooms. I went up the ladder steps, and found Brian there, hammering and

fitting shelves against the walls.

"Hey," he greeted me, lifting another board.

"Hi. What are you working on?" I asked.

"More shelves. Need more storage with the baby coming," he said.

"Oh. Well, that's a good idea," I said.

Brian retrieved nails from the box nearby, and asked, "Just get home?"

"Yeah."

"How was Oakdale?"

"Okay. We just went to the music store," I said.

"Did you eat lunch?"

"Yeah. We did."

"Good," Brian said, and went on working.

"Where's Clare, and Hannah?" I asked.

"I think they went shopping. They ought to be gettin' home shortly."

I spent the next hour or so helping Brian with what he was doing, and then I went outside to do my chores. I managed to coax

D.C. to the corral, and I put a saddle on him, and rode him around. It got boring doing that, though. I thought I was ready to

branch out and ride him in the fields. I leaned down and unhooked the corral gate, and rode him out.

And then...we were off like a shot. D.C. seemed to need no encouragement from me. He broke into a full run. It caught me

a bit by surprise, but I enjoyed it. I figured he would slow somewhat, but he held steady, and I had to rein him in. Even as

I did that, D.C. was tossing his head, and pawing the ground.

"Wow," I said, leaning forward to pat his neck. "You've still got it in you, don't you, old fella?"

In response, D.C. tossed his head again. We arrived back to the near pasture as swiftly as we'd ridden out. It took a lot

of arm strength for me to bring D.C. to a stop. He seemed to want to run and run.

7

I had trouble going to sleep that night. I shouldn't have. I should have been tired. It has been a busy day, but I still found myself

awake at eleven and after. I heard scuffling in the hall and got up to go and peek out into the hallway. Guthrie was just

coming up the stairs, and was talking to Daniel. I knew that Guthrie had to be getting home, but it looked as though Daniel

was just getting to go out.

I stepped on out, and said, "What are you two doing?"

"What are you doin' up and awake?" Daniel countered, with a slight grin.

"You're making noise," I said, in complaint.

"Sorry," Guthrie said, and I shrugged.

"You didn't really wake me up," I said. "I was awake already."

"How's Kristin?" I asked Guthrie.

"I was out with Trent and Kenny," Guthrie corrected. "I didn't see Kristin tonight."

"Oh," I said. "Kenny didn't tell me."

"Does he gotta tell you everything that he does?" Guthrie countered.

I reached out to give Guthrie a good, healthy pinch on his belly. "I didn't say he had to-"

"Darn it, Har," Guthrie protested, snatching at my hand.

The two of us scuffled briefly, and it ended with me being breathless, and a door opening at the other end

of the hall, and Adam stepped out of their bedroom. "What's going on?" he asked.

Guthrie disengaged himself from my clutches. "Sorry, Adam. Didn't mean to wake ya up."

"You didn't. I was reading. But, you're gonna wake everybody that is asleep if you keep up the noise," Adam said.

"Yeah, you children settle down," Daniel said, trying to contain his laughter.

"Well, keep it down," Adam said, and then paused at the door to look back at us. "All three of you," he added, with humor, before

he went in and closed the door behind him.

"'Night," Guthrie said, and headed down the hall.

"Night, Guth," Daniel said.

"Night, elephant ears," I said, in a loud whisper after him.

Left there, with Daniel, I said, "How come you're still awake?"

"I'm goin' after some ice cream," Daniel said.

"We've got ice cream-Vanilla and maybe some chocolate," I said.

"Strawberry," Daniel clarified.

I wrinkled my forehead at him, and he said, "Jill's craving strawberry ice cream."

"Oh," I said.

"See ya in the mornin'," Daniel said, giving one of my curls a gentle tug.

I reached up and gave him a hug around his neck. Tight and hard. And then, when I stepped back and let go of him,

he said, looking slightly puzzled, "What was that for?"

"Can I not give you a hug?" I asked, breezily.

"You can," Daniel said, looking serious. "It just seems as though there was more to that one."

I hesitated, and then for some stupid reason, I felt emotional. I think it was because of the time we'd spent together that

day. And what he'd said to me. And what he'd not said.

All I said, though, was, "I love you."

Daniel searched over my face, serious. "I love you."

"Be careful driving for the ice cream," I said.

7