(A/N) WHO SHOULD WRITE THIS

Written and Beta'd by: Near0218 and lightning027

"Okay, Near your turn to hold up your part of the deal!" Mello exclaims, as he shove a pair of binoculars and night vision goggles he bought from a little kid spy kit at Wal-Mart.

"Um… OKAY! But what am I supposed to do with these?" Near asks confusingly looking at the tools Mello gave him.

"You're supposed to follow Matt, DUH!" Mello says realizing how one-sided this deal was, but this little white haired albino sheep was his only hope no matter how hard he denied it. So… he just kept his end of the deal hoping Near wouldn't be a complete failure at his part.

Right after Near and Mello's conversation Near set off on his spying journey looking for Matt who he found in his room playing a video game while peering through a window. He found a stool and stared through Matt's window.

Near quickly got bored as Matt sat there for hours on end when he finally got up near ran around through the door to Wammy's which was only like 5 steps but Near was panting when he got there. He saw Matt turn a corner and Near ran after him.

Near followed Matt all the way to the Dining hall where Matt got a code red Mountain Dew(Classic Game Freak Drink) and a bag of barbeque chips. He then went back to his room and Near went back to his window.

That was at 1 pm and it wasn't till 7 pm that Matt got up from his game and pulled a book from his pocket Near couldn't read the title but figured that it was a Game cheat book, but while Near was thinking and starring in to space about his idea Matt came out side. When he saw Near he automatically knew he was spying on him.

Matt decided it would be funny to sneak up on him and scare him. So he silently, but quickly walk over to Near. When he got behind him he began to scream "HEY!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Near yelled as his voice cracked and he sounded like a little girl luckily no one but Matt heard him.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"What was that for?" Near questioned but he already knew the answer.

"It was for spying on me. Which by the way why were you doing that?" Matt responded with an angered look on his face

Near had to come up with something quick! "Um… I was testing out my new spy toys. I guess they don't really work if I was discovered"

"Hahaha. No, they work fine it was just the user is not very good at spying" Matt stated not suspecting a thing.

Near looked at Matt crossly trying to keep his lie believable and then stormed off like a 15 year old girl.

When Near returned to Mello it was about 8:30. Mello saw him and automatically knew his mission was failure. But he still bothered to ask.

"What happened?"

"Nothing he sat playing video games for 12 straight hours." He left out the part where Matt discovered him.

Mello let out a sigh and then preceded to tell Near that they would be meeting at 6 pm tomorrow night. Near nodded and they parted ways until their meeting tomorriow.

When Near got to his bed and fell asleep he had the most pleasant dream.

Near saw himself in a tuxedo standing at an altar obviously at chapel. He looked to his right where he saw Mello, Matt and O. He then looked to the right where he saw Linda, Zero, and Star.

He heard wedding music play and then look down the altar where a beautiful girl slowly walked down the aisle when she got to the altar Near was about to lift up the veil when…

"WHAT I WAS DREAMING!" Near screamed when he realized O had awoken him from his deep slumber.

"It's time for class. Jeez take chill pill" O had said the last part under his breath.

"Oh… okay sorry" Near stated with no emotion at all he got up grabbed his books and left for class.

During class Near couldn't concentrate more than a little baby bunny on sugar and caffeine. All he could think about was Eve and how long he till he could see her, it 3 hours 13 minutes and 43 seconds exactly.

Now 2 hours 22 minutes and 14 seconds Ms. Wools was teaching some random thing about trigonometry and stuff like tangent and sine. What she did not realize was that her top student did not give a rat's ass about tangent and some stupid sin crap. There are 7 fake deadly sins and tangent is something about wine, that is what Near thought in the brief second he was listening.

When trigonometry finally ended there was 1 hour 15 minutes and 32 seconds till origami. The next class is the most boring for Near, its Spanish. I mean who the fuck needs Spanish anyway its useless in England. But Near had to endure it for a whole hour and 15 minutes.

45 minutes in Near started to day dream. He only saw white just his normal paradise, but then it manifested into something much greater. His day dream became a house full of 3 children two girls one boy. His house is lively and fun. In the kitchen though there are two people a boy and a girl, when Near looks closer he realizes it is him and Eve making dinner for their kids.

When they finish they call for the kids and then there is a ring on the doorbell. Eve answers the door only two find the two godparents standing in the doorway, and who are they none other than Mello and Matt. That is when Near jolts back to reality and at that very second the bell rings.

"YES! TIME FOR ORAGAMI!" Near screams in joy not realizing that he screamed it aloud, and then he bolts off in full sprint. Everyone in the classroom and everyone he passes stares at him so confused and at a loss of words for what is going on. When Near finally realizes what he has done it is too late he has ran around the whole school to get to class and is completely out of breath.

"I need to get out more" Near thinks to him-self coming through the classroom door completely out of breath. When he walks in he sees a seat right next to Eve. He screams "YES!" to him-self careful not to say it out loud. He takes the seat and apologizes to the teacher for being a little late.

In the middle of folding paper cranes, Near realizes he is having a lot of trouble. He tries to ask Eve for help but all that comes out is…

"Ah-eh-ee-oh-u" Which makes no sense but somehow Eve understands and replies to him.

"Yes, I will help you" she says in a laid back tone.

Near tries to say thank you but can get the words out of his mouth. So he justs sits in silence watching Eve fold the most beautiful crane.

Without him realizing is in shock and awe as she finishes and she says to him. "You know, it won't hurt your genius ego to ask for help or say thank you." Near just turns away and starts to fold while Eve chuckles for a little bit.

"How could I let her talk to me like that? ME the number 1 student, and heir to the L position." Is all Near can think about on his way to Mello's and his secret class. Luckily for Near today's class will be about how to talk to a girl.

"Now for this I am brining in a little help from a actual girl but don't worry she is a lezbo so no pressure" Mello says in his usual sadistic voice.

"HEY! I heard that Mello Yellow, don't forget all the dirt I have on you right now!" A familiar voice says from the closet.

"How could I forget, LINDA?"

"Just making sure." Linda says as she emerges from the closet all dressed.

"Hi, Near, Sweetie. How are you today?" Linda say as a little annoyed signs starts to emerge above Near's head.

"Do not call me sweetie Linda. We are still playing our game so I am Captain River to you" Near says in a deadly serious voice.

"YES, SIR!" Linda screams at him trying to keep a straight face. When she looks over at Mello though he is cracking up so hard no sounds are coming out of his mouth and he is turning blue. She decides to smack him to get him back to his senses.

"OUCH!" Mello returning to his senses yells at Linda furious.

"Stop! I only did this to help Captain River!"

"FINE!" Mello yelps back to her as she kicks him in the balls.

"Good. Now Captain River permission to break character to help you" Linda says saluting to Near, and in all seriousness looking like a complete lesbian.

"Permission, GRANTED!" Near screams back as his voice cracks into a very high pitched yelp.

Linda trying not to laugh manages to get a few words out. " O-Okay, hehe where sha-shall we st-start."

"Sure."

"Okay so let's begin with how are you today."

"How are you today Linda""

"I am good thank you. What about yourself?"

"I am pretty sure I am love sick pr mentally insane." Near replies to Linda while being deadly serious.

"OH! Well that's no good. We will have to fix that."

"Yes we shall."

This goes on for about an hour, and ends with Near crying in Linda's arms about how he will never have emotions and never be able to love.

"Well that is just not true. I believe Near that one day you will make a great husband and Father you just got to find that girl. Do not forget though that this could very easily be that girl."

"Ah-I won't. Thank you so much Linda"

"No prob, I will do anything for a friend."

Mello just now fully recovering from Linda's kick is awake enough to give Near homework that Mello will make sure he does.

"Okay you ready to do your homework" Mello says to a very nervous Near, who is shivering, sweating and clacking his teeth all at the same time. Manages to say a few words through his moving teeth.

"I-I think so..."

"GOOD!" Mello replies. "Now go get em." Mello pushes Near out from behind the bookshelf and toward Eve.

Eve smiles at Near and says "Hi."

Near waves back, and decides to blurt his question out as quickly as possible because his hands are beginning to sweat. "Will you go out with me?" Near says in under 3 seconds.

Eve replies with a simple "Yes." Then Near runs off and is smiling and feels warm for no reason.

(A/N) SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I did not check this as I am being rushed right now so grammar is bad and everyone yell at lightning for ditching me in this story.