i appologize for not writing for so long it was my birthday last friday and halloween is tomorrow, this is a long chapter and i have been very busy with school lately and all the work. i have changed my username on here from guardianangel742 to MarcelletteHappens; so if you open to go and read this and youre like who the fuck is marcellettehappens? its me :3 this chapter is a longer one so it makes up for the time i have been missing. also i have my Recovering Riddle fanfiction half way done so that should be up by friday and i also continued writing my Twilight fanfiction Eluding Darkness which is about Riley so check that out chapter three should also be out friday. not gunna bore you with a long authors note. so happy halloween everyone! hope to update soon!
Chapter 4: Injustification with realization
I sit at the table in the restaurant, awkwardly I might add. The dinner plans I wanted didn't work out how I wanted. I wish I was sitting across from Amber and Brad, Fabian on one side of me and Jerome on the other with Nina snuggled and squished in the center of our booth but no. That's not where I am right now. Right now I am sitting in a stiff wooden chair at a elegant mahogany table lined in a burgundy linen cloth dressed with fine china, silverware and a single pink rose in a tall crystal vase. And I'm not sitting next to Jerome or Fabian or across from Amber and Brad with Nina squished in the middle, no, I'm sitting alone on both sides and across from me sits cold grey stormy eyes, a pair distantly similar to another's I know. Well of course they are because right now I sit across from Jerome's mother, JoAnne Clarke. She's a stiff woman. She sits ridged and her glare was icy, in a different way than Jerome's. It was just me and her for right now the other two chairs were empty besides us. Jerome and his father, Alcott Clarke has excused themselves to finish a quote unquote 'creative difference' between them. So it was just me and her, glaring at one another. She was a stern older woman, not necessarily scary, yet she did scare me... A lot, she was just a bit strict. I assume she used to be extremely beautiful, she is still now but aged and cold. "Should I go check on them?" I ask quietly going to stand up.
"oh, no, that would be a waste of time, sit down." Mrs. Clarke says annoyed and a bit harsh. I take my seat back down. "those boys." she scowls. "always fighting, always so stubborn they never agree on anything." Mrs. Clarke rolls her eyes.
"I think it's more like resentment." I mutter.
"what was that, girl?" she asked irritated. I'm a bit fed up with her by now. This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday night. I missed my dinner with Amber, my best friend that I haven't see in over a year and if Mr. and Mrs. Clarke were not waiting for me and Jerome in my living room I would of blown them off. Were still going out dancing with Amber later but still. And all night I've been this quiet meek girl, some one I am not for the most part. Mrs. Clarke has been jabbing at me all night and I'm fed up.
"I said I think its more like resentment, JoAnne." I say forcefully and irritated as well.
"excuse me." she said shocked and offended.
"I'm very sick and tired of the way you treat me Mrs. Clarke, your husband too, belittling me, making fun of me, speaking down to me, and I don't mean just right now, I mean for the past five years and Jerome for his whole life. The way you treat me, I could care a bit less but your own son, that's why I don't like you, you're supposed to love him not show up demand dinner when we already had plans and then pick a fight with him! And frankly Mrs. Clarke I'm sick of it!" I finish off my huge rant out of breath. Oh my fucking god. What did I just say to her! Five years of being 'Yes Mrs. Clarke' and 'Nice Seeing You Mrs. Clarke' and now! I just called her out. I mean she had it coming but I can't believe I just did that. I'm dead. Yup I'm dead.
"what did you just say to me you bloody American!" she practically shouts at me.
"you heard me! Are you deaf!" I took a breath. No. I'm not making the situation any better. "listen." I start off calmly. "Mrs. Clarke, just please understand I love Jerome very much and I'm trying really hard to make everyone happy, I really am I promise you that." I take another breath. "you don't know how much I tell Jerome to call you guys and make everything right. Like 23 years of damage, but it's not going to work if only me and him are trying. Please just know I mean well Mrs. Clarke."
"Sweetheart, tsk tsk. You've been dating my son how long? I think this is the most I've ever heard you talk. The American accent is quite adorable, what is it? New York? A bit odd that half the flat is consumed by Americans as well." she gives a stiff hypocritical giggle. I hold my tongue still.
"Please Mrs. Clarke, I want the problems gone."
"in this family there are complex problems. Ones probably beyond repair darling." she fixes her hair
"please, I just want us to be a good family." I practically plead at this point.
"frankly darling, you're not part of this family." she bites back coldly. I freeze. Like I had just been slapped in the face really hard. Did she just say that? I'm not family? I know I'm not technically family but... I didn't think shed bluntly state that. It killed me. It was the marriage thing that came back at me again. Family. I have no family. No brothers or sisters. No cousins or aunts or uncles. No mom. No dad. No children. No husband. No in-laws. Nothing. And now I can no longer keep my thoughts down. I shoot up out of my chair.
"how can your son be this phenomenal human being and the you and your husband are these cruel, ruthless empty shells. Oh right, you never gave a damn about raising him yourself you cold heartless bitch!" I yell at her, grabbing Jerome's jacket and my clutch and storming out of the restaurant. I walk out front to see Jerome and his father at wits end. "Jerome!" I call out walking over to him.
"love, what on earth has happened to you? Your cheeks are beat red." Jerome says confused, pulling away from the argument with his father.
"I'll explain later." I mutter to Jerome. "lovely seeing you again Mr. Clarke, we should catch up again, but we have to go." I pull Jerome away before Mr. Clarke or Jerome have a chance to say goodbye. We find our way to our car and run my fingers through my hair still flustered. I cannot believe I just did that. I just called Mrs. Clarke a cold heartless bitch. How could I say that? Am I going mad? Completely insane! I must be if I just did that.
"love, are you alright?" Jerome asks as I pace in front of our car. I lean up against the drivers door, my fingers in my hair.
"me? Just peachy, do almost positively know that your mother absolutely hates me now. How did things go with your dad?" I ask.
"better than expected I suppose. I mean still a lot of yelling about stuff I cannot even remember half of." Jerome gives a light chuckle and let out a small giggle as well. "what happened with you and my mum?"
"I uh..." I let out another guilty laugh. "I called your mom a cold heartless bitch." it's quiet for a second and then Jerome starts hysterically laughing. "hey!" I hit him with my clutch. "not funny! I feel really bad! I can't believe I just did that!" Jerome kept on laughing. "Jerome!" I whine. I feel him pick my up by my waist and spins me around.
"I absolutely adore you, darling!" he chuckles then giving me a kiss. "ready to go meet up with Amber then, yeah?"
"yeah." I confirm, smiling at me. "I'm gunna need to forget the dreadful conversation I just had there." I tease. Jerome chuckles again and then we both get in the car.
"so what were you and my mum talking about that it lead up to that?" Jerome asks, giving a devious smile.
"well." I exhale. "I can't quiet remember how it started off but I said to her that I just want us to ya know be a good family and not have any problems anymore and she said I wasn't part of the family." the air was dead for a second. "and it kind of set me off." I mutter giving a light laugh. It was still quiet for a good minute or two. We stop at a red light.
"I'm sorry, Sarah." Jerome murmurs to me.
"it's okay." I respond lightly. I don't want to start on the topic again. I wanted to have fun tonight and that's what I intend to do. We then pull up to the night club where were supposed to meet everyone. "let's have fun tonight? Please? Yeah?" Jerome gives me a half smile.
"yeah." he confirms, I go to get out of the car. "but Sarah." I turn back to look at him. "no trouble tonight? No supernatural occurrences or drunken fights with the bartender, alright?" I giggle and give him a quick kiss.
"but of course." I smirk now getting out of the car. I'm wearing the red dress, the one that Jerome liked. I see Amber in her glittery hot pink dress. A typical amber dress. Nina is dressed in what almost looked vintage. And all the boys a little bit more casually dressed, v-necks and dark wash jeans for the most part, and Jerome wore his cute little vest like he always does. I take a hold of Jerome's hand and all of us walk into the club.
Everything is a bit fuzzy. The neon lights in the club are bright and the music pounds on the inside of my skull. I sip down another strong fruity drink and feet are numb at this point. My eyes grow heavy and it's getting harder and harder to stand up straight. I find my way next to Fabian and Amber because I lost Jerome in the crowd. "Sarah, darling come with me to the bar to get another drink?" Amber asked loopy.
"Fabian!" I cheer. "come with us!" grabbing his arm. Fabian chuckled.
"alright, but we have to a leave in a bit so cool it a bit on the drinks."
"oh Fabes! You're sucha downer! Why don't you have a drink?" Amber shoves a shot of vodka over towards him.
"I can't cause I'm our way home." Fabian smiles.
"well I'll take it!" I grab the shot. "cheers amber!" I smile.
"cheers, Sarah!" Amber squeals.
"darling! There you are!" I hear brad say to amber coming over to us with Jerome next to him. "are you guys ready to go?"
"if you two want you can come back to the flat, spend the night." Jerome offers.
"yeah! You can stay in my room!" I agree. "bartender, get me four shots of vodka and a Ginger ale for the boy." I wink over a Fabian as he gives me a playful glare. "go find your girlfriend." I giggle at him. "she's out there all alone."
"Sarah, having fun, my darling!" Jerome swipes me up in his arm. I giggle loudly.
"indeed I am." I say in a fake British accent.
"Sarah McMayson are you mocking me?" he asks goofily. I take down another shot.
"I don't like that name." I say, my words slurring a bit. Jerome gains a confused look.
"what do you mean?" he asks quizzically. What does he mean what do I mean? He knows what I mean. Everybody knows what I mean. I bet the whole world knows what I mean. He is so silly. Silly little Jerome. But he's not little, he's actually really tall... And I'm losing my mind! This is why I don't go out that often. Grr. Amber hands me and Jerome another drink. My eyesight is still burry and I feel really dizzy and giggly.
"Sary, you look so gorgeous tonight, Jerome don't you think she looks so gorgeous tonight?" Amber slurs out giggling a bit. Jerome kisses my cheek.
"but of course I know she does Amber." Jerome chuckles holding me close.
"oh Ams, and you look phenomenal like you always do, don't you agree brad?" I almost mock.
"I agree totally and completely." brad smiles charmingly and amber giggles.
"oh beau! your so sweet." she gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Jerome! I'm mad at you!"
"what! Why what did I do now!" Jerome asks a little over exaggerating his expression which makes me laugh.
"it's what you didn't do dummy!" amber scolds. "and look at poor Sarah." she almost tips over and brad gains a tighter grip on her.
"I found Nina, ready to leave?" Fabian come up with Nina, cutting off Jerome. Nina and Fabian; the only two people that I know that are happy and bubblely at 3:30 in the morning. I finish my drink and nod.
"yeah I think we are." Jerome tells Fabian.
"sober enough to find your car, Jerome?" Fabian teases. The two of them laugh.
"ha ha your so funny, Rutter." we end up leave both me and amber end up almost falling over a few times. I get so sick of it I rip off my heels and walk bare foot the rest of the way to the car. The four of us squeeze in the back while Fabes and Nins sit up front. I sit practically on Jerome's lap. Everything getting fuzzier by the second.
"you alright there, Sar?" Jerome asked me.
"yeah, I really like this car. when'ds yous get it!" I asks energetically. Jerome chuckled obviously the more sober out of the two of us. Who am I kidding. I'm drunk off my ass.
"you've had a bit too much to drink." Jerome states.
"no! What! What are you saying! I has notten drunk any drunks, Jerome." I lull out. He chuckles at me. "hey! What's so funny!" we pull up to our flat and Fabian lets us out while him a Nina go to park the car. Amber and Brad walk in front of us and up into our flat.
"you guys can go up to Sarah's room, we'll be up in a bit." Jerome tells them.
"okay! Night Narah! Night Ferome!" Amber slurred again with brad helping her up the stairs.
"am I narah or Ferome?" I ask confused. "Can i be Ferome!" Jerome laughed again leading me into the living room and sitting me down on the couch. He went to leave the room. "Jerome!" I whine. "why are you leaving, don't leave me." he came back over and sat down next to me.
"I was only going to the kitchen, Sarah."
" 'i was only going to the kitchen, Sarah' " I say again in the British accent.
"are you making fun of me again Sarah McMayson?" he teases. My smile fades and my eyes drop.
"I told you I don't like name." I complain, falling over into the extremely fluffy and soft throw pillows.
"I don't know what you mean about that." Jerome asked puzzled. Why doesn't he know. He must know.
"I don't like my last name." I groan into the pillows trying to sit up. I snake an arm around Jerome's neck pulling myself close. "I want your last name." I clarify.
"Sarah, must we have this conversation when were drunk?" he rubs his face.
"don't you love me?" I say, my voice high and my green orbs doe-eyed. "I love you."
"of course I love you." he tells me. "but were not going to talk about this now."
"if we don't know then we'll never will." I grip onto his arm. It's quiet for a second. "and I need to stay up, I cant go to sleep."
"why can't you go to sleep, love?" Jerome asks, pushing back my side bangs.
"the nightmares. I really do get scared, even though I don't tell you. I don't want you to worry." I explain starting the slur on my wording.
"Sarah, why don't you tell me this? Darling, I know that they must be bad but I'll be there when you wake up." Jerome pulls me into a tight hug.
"I know." I yawn as I snuggle up into him, my head resting on the crook of his neck.
"you want to sleep now?" he chuckles rubbing my back.
"I can't help it. My eyes are closing on me." I yawn once more.
"c'mon now, up to bed."
"babe, carry me please?" I beg, latching my arms around his neck.
"alright, fine." he laughs once again.
"thank you." I chirp as I feel my weight being lifted up off the couch. I hear the slight sound of footsteps as we make it up the stairs. I feel in an almost peaceful state and the alcohol begins to wear off through my system to a slight buzz. He sits me on the cornner of the bed and I give him a small smile. He strips down to his boxers and helps me unzip my dress till I'm just in my underwear and strapless bra. He goes and lays down under the covers and I follow suit, snuggling up next to him as he keeps a protective arm around me. "goodnight Jerome." he give me a kiss on the crook of my neck.
"goodnight Sarah. Love you." he yawns.
"love you too." I yawn as well drifting off into deep sleep accompanied by the sent of crisp apples and warm vanilla.
"Nina, you have lunch with Fabians parents, tell them I say hi and that miss them. Jerome you have a meeting after classes at work. And Fabian it's your turn to go food shopping." I tell all of them sitting at the kitchen table, sipping at my coffee.
"what are you doing after school then, love?" Jerome asked biting into a piece of toast.
"uh, I have to go to work and start on the new software programming." I nod my head with my lie. I wasn't going to work after classes today. It was now Tuesday. After a tiring, long, half-drunken, aggravating weekend, the week felt good. I had something to occupy me. Keep me busy. Amber and Brad are visiting her parents for the next few days so I won't be able to see her. Today, I was going to lunch with someone I seriously needed to talk to. And on top of the drama and the mythical madness, Alfie will be on our doorstep with his girlfriend in three days. Terr-ific. It's not that I don't want Alfie to come here, it's just I'm under alot stress right now, as everyone can probably see.
"alright, do you want me to pick you up after?" he offered standing up and slinging his jacket over his shoulder.
"no it's find I'll take the tube, thanks though." he gives me a kiss on the cheek.
"alright, ready to leave?" he asked me. I nodded in response. "Fabian, yeah?"
"yeah, let's get going." he gives Nina a kiss goodbye. I tuck my scarf into my jacket bundling up for the chilled weather.
"see you all later." she calls out to us.
"bye Nina!" I yell out in response as I grab my laptop bag and the three of us leave out the door. School is very dull and very boring and I spend my typical lunch with Fabian and Jerome at the little cafe we always go to. I feel a bit relieved that winter break is coming soon and I can start sleeping in again. The rest of the school day goes slow, learning things I already know about. I get to this restaurant where I'm supposed to meet her. "5:30 reservation for a party of two." I say to the host.
"name?" he asks with a dull voice.
"Clarke." I respond, making a clicking sound on the k.
"ah, yes, follow me." the host says. I stay right behind him as I follow him into the elegant dining room. Not as nice as the one we went to dinner at but close. I take a seat at the small, dark wood table with a chair on either side. The host takes my jacket and scarf and I sit down.
"hello Mrs. Clarke." I say meekly, flattening down my hair.
"is there a reason you wished to speak to me?" she bit coldly.
"well uh, yes. First off I'd like to apologize for calling you a cruel heartless bitch. Umm.." I figured with my hair again. "I should of never had said that. Hope you can forgive me bout that." her glare that is fixated on me shifts as she picks up her wine glass and takes a sip.
"yes, all and all, all is forgiven I suppose. I then assume my final statement was a bit out of term as well, although it was very well true." she mumbled the last part rolling her eyes a bit.
"yes well, which brings me to why I actually wanted to meet up. I would like us all to be on good terms. The four of us? If not me then just Jerome, I think he deserves that to say the least." I try to keep my proper management as I speak and in the way I act. I try to talk formally to her, to seem like I am sophisticated and that I can very well be a Clarke, in her standards. I'm desperately trying to gain the acception I want from her. I don't know why, but I just want to prove to her that I can make this all change to fit me and still be the porcelain doll that she can dress up and throw into her world and act accordingly. I mean I want to have a relationship with them, be able to see them on Christmas and not fight. I mean I have a better relationship with Fabians parents. I go out to lunch with Fabians mom just for the fun of it. I want to be able to do that with Mrs. Clarke, but I know we'll never be that close. And even if we were it wouldn't get less awkward that this right now.
"well darling, I do not know what you want me to do. There isn't much to do. My son would rather keep his distance, a choice all of his own." she states.
"I can get him to budge a bit. But like I say Friday, me and him can't be the only two working on this, both you and Mr. Clarke have to meet us half way, not even, one fourth of the way, and we can actually make this work." I say, trying to hold my ground.
"I know you want to make everything happy dandy, but remember you walked into his life, you can't just change it on the turn of a pence." Mrs. Clarke states rather blunt and clearly. "you knew everything is not going to change on your whim." I hold myself back from saying anything I might regret again.
"you're right, it can only change with everybody." I counter.
"listen, I must go, but know this, as you said it yourself, you're trying to fix 23 years worth of problems. An impossible task." she tells me curtly, standing up.
"difficult but not impossible." I look at her and stand up as well. "nice seeing you Mrs. Clarke. She hesitates for a second then nods as she leaves out the restaurant. I then proceed out a few seconds , getting my jacket back on and with a small smile. Well I feel there was some progress. Almost none, but some! Sorta... I make my way onto the Underground and take a seat on my line. I exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding, talking to that women is like talking to the ice queen. I really do want everything to at a aquatinted level. That were not gnawing at each others throats. I want the best for everyone. I was really waiting for one really snippy comment for her to make like I'm and outsider or that I really don't love Jerome, something that she would say just to set me off. I don't think she gets how much I really do love him, how much we had truly been through. All the way from square one, back at the first night at Anubis. And now it was starting again.
All the things I thought were gone forever was coming back. The secrets, the mysteries, and now the dreams. The horrid nightmares that just eat away at me every night, and I don't really tell Jerome cause I don't want him to worry. And the scar. That dreaded scar! I push up the sleeve of my jacket and shirt to see the light pink outline of the eye of Horus. My heart sinks and my stomach drops. I trace my pointer finger over the shape. What does it mean? All I want to know is what it means. I don't want to have to drag Jerome into this again. I don't want to hurt him or myself like I did last time. I don't want to distance myself, say it can't be cause it is and that wont change. I won't have it. I wont sleep without him next to me. I won't go to school without him. Never would i try to find someone else. Jerome is just this amazing person, how he puts up with me? I have no idea. The boy must be friken batman. He just means absolutely everything to me, as cheesy as it does sound, it's true.
I think about his eyes. His fantastical blue eyes. They always seem to put me at peace. Make me relax. I picture his crooked grin and his dirty blonde hair and how it looks in the morning and the sent of crisp apples and warm vanilla that makes me lightheaded and airy.
I get up off the tube and make my way up from the Underground. My wrist starts to ache, but I try not to think about it. I try and focus my mind on Jerome again. And how I can't wait to see him when I get home. Home. The word, I love it. It is my home. With my family. we may not be blood, but were thicker than that, were misfits of Anubis house, were destine to be together.
The pain in my wrist greatens immensely. Pain I haven't felt in a long time. I feel a damp, sticky liquid dribble down into my palm. I dart a look at my hand. Blood. I'm scared to push up my jacket sleeve, already clotted in the sticky substance. I sit down on a short stone fence to catch myself. My breathing is sharp and quick and I feel the pain twist inside my body. Jerome. I try and think about Jerome. I try everything, Nina, Fabian, amber, Alfie, Mrs. Clarke, school, work. Nothing works. My mind keeps pulling back to Anubis. Yelling at me. I hear faint voices whispering over the wind. My heart pounds and I feel the blood drip off my fingertips. I take out my phone and dial. It rings and each ring makes my stomach drop.
"Jerome?" I say weakly.
"yes, love, are you alright?" he asked concerned.
"I need to come and pick me up." I stutter out, choking back a cry.
"why? What's wrong? Sarah where are you?" my head feels dizzy and I feel like I'm going to fall over.
"I'm a few blocks down from the underground entrance." the pain feels like it's squeezing down in my bones. And my wrist feels like it's being fried. "please hurry." I whimper.
"ill be there in two minutes, Sarah. Stay put."
"okay." I pant, losing my breath. My eyes feel heavy and my spine kills. It's back. It's all coming back. Why? I did what I forced to do. I burned the cup; I got rid of it! Just like I was told to! I don't want anyone to get hurt anymore. I just want it all to stop. I want it all to be normal. And until it is, my dreams will have to be on hold. I will not subject my children to this. I never want them to have to deal with this.
A bird swoops down and lands next to me. It just glares. I try to regain my breath as I don't break eye contact with the bird. I get a better look at and trace my mind back to Fabians books. His Egyptian books. The hawk. Horus. Horus was represent by a hawk in Egyptian mythology.
"Sarah!" I hear my name called out. The bird, startled, takes off, it's talon going through my shirt and slicing at my chest. It's only slightly deeper than a paper cut, and lies right where my heart is. "Sarah!" I hear it again. I look all around. Thinking it could be anything. Living, dead, which I haven't seen since that illing day at Anubis, and then I see Jerome and relief rushes over me.
"Jerome!" I shout back. Running over to him. The pain shooting back up. He hugs me tightly.
"Darling, your dripping in blood. Who did this to you!" he demands angrily. I hold up my wrist, gritting at the pain. "dear god." I hear him grumble. "what about this cut here?" Jerome puts a light finger up to the ripped fabric.
"a bird." I say. He gives me a confused look. "I'll explain later, can we go? Please?" my voice almost begs. He nods and we walk over to his car where he helps me into the passenger side.
"Sarah, what happened!" Jerome demands once again. I keep my eyes fixated out the window.
"I was on the underground and my wrist had just begun to act up. After I got off it just start to bleed. And the bird? Just coincidental I suppose." I shrug my shoulders. I hear him exhale largely.
"did anything happen at work?" he asks.
"work?" I question confused looking over at him.
"yeah." he drags out the word "you know that place where do you something in exchange for money?" oh! Right I was at 'work' today after school.
"oh, right, yeah, sorry I'm just a bit off today, sorta. Nothing happened at work. It was boring and tedious for the most part." I ramble on. I seethe in again from the pain as it shoots back up.
"oh, sorry, right let's get you home so I can take a look at that." I nod in agreement. "what on earth could randomly trigger this all to start happening again?" Jerome murmurs.
"I have no idea." I barely respond. It's true, for once I don't know why. Nothing can ever be simple. I bring my mine back to something Jerome said all those years ago: simple things are for simple people. And we are defiantly not simple.
i hope everyone liked it [: i am close to anwsering the questions left in the first story too. so by next chapter some should be anwsered. and i am so pumped for the second season of house of anubis! i started watching Het Huis Anubis and its actually really goood. although now im stuck finding episode 19 with english subtitles so if anyone knows where i can watch it with subtitles i would mucho appereciate it. thanks! [: