Part 06; When You Start Talking, I Start Walking
Dougie looked at me, wanting my input. "Good enough?" He was wearing a white button down and dark blue skinny jeans. I nodded, smiling at him. He winked at me, laughing. Dougie left the room to go answer the door. I heard him laughing, along with two unknown voices. That fear seized me again, and I suddenly want didn't to leave the room. My hands were trembling. There was a knock at the door, I looked up to see Dougie standing in the doorway. He hadn't really left to begin with…
"You okay, Jenna?" he asked. I sighed, lowering my head. I knew that I was being irrational, there was no reason for me to be this worked up. This was me being a worrywart, why did I freak out over this? I hadn't even met them yet, and they put me into a panic attack.
"I… I'm fine." I lied. Doug immediately knew that I wasn't telling the truth. He sat down next to me on the bed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"…Is it because of Danny and Alex? Is this what's making you freak out?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"No. Yes… I don't know." I sighed. Dougie looked at me with sympathy, even though he had no idea of what I was going through. I still felt a little better, knowing he was on my side.
"Jen, you shouldn't worry about this. Everything will be fine. They'll understand, they won't do anything to upset you." He smiled at me, kissing my forehead. I tried to look calm, though I was really anything but calm.
"Won't it be weird, though?" I murmured. My stomach was doing flips, my heart was racing. I hadn't even met them yet and I was almost out of my mind. What would happen when I finally met the people who I suddenly feared?
"How so?" Dougie broke my train of thought, and I paused. I recollected my thoughts and remembered what I was going to say.
"They know everything about me. But, I know nothing of them."
"Don't worry about the details." Dougie stood, rubbing his hands on his jeans. "Now, come along. They're in the living room, we should be good hosts to them." I stood also, taking Doug's hand. We left the bedroom and went down the hallway. I caught a glimpse of a young man and woman, assuming that there were Danny and Alex. My fiance squeezed my hand, I squeezed back and smiled at him. Danny looked up, seeing me. He stood up, grinning at me. Alex did the same, pulling me into a hug. I caught my breath, awkwardly hugging her back. Danny did the same, then held me at an arm's distance.
"Well, for almost dying and all, I say you look pretty good." He smiled at me. I laughed. And with that, I knew it was going to be alright.
For almost an hour, we sat in the living room. We talked about everything and nothing. I was mostly listening, content with listening to what the others said. During a lull in conversation, I looked at the clock. It was getting around dinner time. I mentioned that I was going to fix our meal and Alex offered to help. Not knowing what else to do, I agreed and we went into the kitchen. Dougie proposed spaghetti, supposedly the best dish in my "repertoire of recipes". Alex and I were cooking in silence, though I didn't mind.
"It must be hard, you know." she said after awhile. I looked up from the pot of noodles, confused.
"What do you mean?" I wasn't exactly sure what brought that on.
"Oh, you know. Your memory loss. It must be hard on you and Doug." she replied, not even looking up from her work with the sauce. I tried to keep my face straight, Where the hell did this come from? I wasn't too shocked though, she and Danny were the first "visitors" I'd had since leaving the hospital.
"Well, I can't disagree." I muttered. "I mean, it's gotta be hard on him. I'm a blank slate pretty much. But, he's been wonderful about all of this." Dougie had been a saint, I was really lucky to have him. He had been really understanding of me, and always made sure to accommodate for me.
"You just gotta stay strong, that's all I can say. Doug really loves you, he'd do anything for you. And, about that memory stuff, it'll come back." Somehow, just the simplicity of how she said that… it got to me. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes stung.
"But… when? How long does Doug have to suffer?" I breathed, on the verge of tears. Dammit, Jenna. Keep it together. Why did I cry so much? I shook my head, wiping away any stray tears. And what if the memories never came back? What would I do then? Would Dougie not love me anymore? I apologized to Alex and quickly left the kitchen, ducking into the pantry. "God, I'm such a wuss." I sighed. Grabbing a small towel, I carefully wiped my eyes. Collecting myself again, I reentered the kitchen. Alex smiled at me, obviously sympathetic.
"Better?" She had pretty much finished cooking without me. I nodded, rubbing my hands together.
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." I felt better, I guess. Crying wasn't my preferred emotional outlet, even though it seemed to be the only thing I did when I was upset.
"If you ever need anything, Jen, you can tell me. We aren't best friends for nothing." She put a hand on my shoulder. I felt an empty sadness, at the last part… Best friends. Were we best friends? I didn't ask, because I knew that would just jumble the moment.
"Thanks, Alex. But, don't worry. I'm fine." I smiled at her. She would be the type of person I'd be friends with, or at least I thought so. "Well… the food isn't going to prepare itself, you know." I laughed.
Fifteen minutes later, we were all sitting at the table. The spaghetti was pretty good, surprisingly enough. I followed the conversation pretty well, putting in my two cents every so often. Doug nudged my elbow, smiling at me. I nodded, smiling halfway. Alex and I cleaned up and put the dishes in the sink, while Dougie and Danny returned to the living room. They were looking for a football game on the television when we came back in.
"So, yeah. We'll definitely postpone the marriage." Dougie said, not too long after I had sat down next to him on the couch. I gulped, looking down at the ring on my left hand.
"Uh… yeah. Marriage." My voice cracked a little. I had forgotten that we were supposed to get married… I mean, I knew that's what a fiance and fiancée did. But, I hadn't thought about it though. Alex must've noticed my uneasiness.
"You guys were only starting the planning, you know. It's not like it's going to be next week. You guys can postpone it without much trouble, I bet." she smiled, trying to reassure me. I nodded slowly.
"Yeah, you're right." I murmured, staring at the ring again. I wondered about the mystery surrounding the glittering gemstone. When did he give it to me? Where? What happened after? How long were we dating? I had no answers to any of them, but that was only a minor obstacle. Eventually, everything would turn out alright… right?
The rest of the afternoon went by in the blink of an eye. Around dinner time, Alex and Danny made their exit, but only after a long string of goodbyes. I stayed in the living room, watching a movie that I had chosen at random. According to Dougie, it was one of my favourites and I would always cry like a baby at the end. Doug had decided to practice his bass instead, since he said that he didn't "enjoy the movie as much as I did". I sat through it, waiting and waiting. The credits appeared… and there were no tears. Surely, Doug was wrong, because I didn't like the movie at all. It was far too sappy and unrealistic. I heard Doug coming into the living room and changed the channel before he could come in and find me watching the movie.
"So… what was it that I found so sad in that movie we were talking about?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant. Dougie sat down beside me on the couch, putting his arm behind me.
"Umm… I don't know. You were always such a softie with the animals. But, I never quite understood it." he shrugged, grimacing. He tilted his head, thinking, but it wasn't long before he shook his head. Well… maybe we'll never know. I thought absently.
"Oh… Well… I worked myself up for nothing about Danny and Alex. They were nice, I like them." I mused, playing with a lock of my hair.
"That's great! I bet they would love to hear that." he smiled. He kissed me gently, and pulled away. I just noticed how his eyes crinkled as he smiled, something else to tuck away in my mind. "I love you, Jenna." he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, looking me in the eye. I felt my cheeks flush, my mind going blank.
"I… It will come."