Part 11 Reunion
I turned around and there stood my ex fiancé. He looked like he hadn't had sleep in weeks, but I had only left yesterday. He smiled weakly at me. Approaching me, Dougie pulled me into a hug. I felt awkward, not knowing what to do.
"I was so worried about you, Jenna." he whispered. I blinked, grimacing. It was with great difficulty that I pushed him away.
"Did you not read the note I left you?" I had to choose my words carefully. Dougie looked at me as if I had sprouted a third eye.
"But... Honey, what's going on? What's gotten into you?" Dougie started, he made this even more difficult for me.
"Just accept it already! My memory is never coming back! I'm never going to be the Jenna you want! She's gone!" I cried out. It made me so angry, not Dougie, but the whole memory bit.
"Jenna..." He sighed, his eyes showing sadness.
"Get used to it. It's never going to come back." I crossed my arms, looking away. "Just... Just forget me. It's the best thing to do."
"When you figure out how stupid that is, come find me." Dougie shook his head, turning away. He walked back to his room and slammed the door shut. I wiped my eyes, and sighed. If he would just hate me, maybe he would move on. It would hurt, but Dougie would be happier that way.
I felt a hand on my forearm and I knew it was Danny. I hugged him, trying to not cry. He patted my back and didn't ask. He probably heard everything anyway.
"You okay, Jen?" he asked softly after a few minutes. I pulled away, wiping my cheeks. I nodded. Danny smiled at me, knowing that I was lying.
"I... I don't know. He's upset, I don't think he understands." I murmured.
"He'll calm down, don't worry about that. But, are you really sure this is the best way to do this? I know you don't really feel like that. I may not be that smart, but I get things that the other guys don't." Danny halfway smiled. I gulped.
"Wh-What do you mean?" I stammered. He knew, I felt my knees begin to tremble.
"I think you already know what I mean. But, I won't say anything. You need to fix this yourself."
"I will. That's why I left." I sighed. It was weird, having this heart to heart with Danny. I had met him only once before, but he read me like a book.
"That's not going to fix anything." Danny frowned. "You shouldn't leave if you still love him." I began to wonder if Danny was a shrink in another life.
"But... I don't love him. The girl before the accident loved him. I'm not that girl." My voice was very small. I had went back and forth on this issue many times before.
"Do I have to spell this out for you? You are Jenna, you were Jenna before the accident and you are Jenna now. It's obvious that you don't want to leave him, but you think you're helping him. And in reality all you're doing more harm than good."
"... If I was the same girl as I was before the accident, I wouldn't have left... Danny, its obvious that Doug isn't going to forgive me for awhile. Can you take me back to the apartment building?" Danny took the hint.
"Sure." he smiled wistfully. We got back in the elevator, going down this time. "And just for the record, the Jenna before the accident would have left Dougie. If she felt that it would leave him better off, then she would do it. Because she loved him that much. But she didn't always think things through, just like you." Danny added after a few moments of silence. The elevator went down much slower than it had gone up, so there was a heavy silence between us while we were going to the lobby. We arrived at the ground floor and exited the hotel. Getting into the car, we drove back to the Starbucks. From there, I gave him directions to the apartment building. We sat parked in front of Gabe's building for a few minutes. "I remember this place, I don't know how or why. But I do." he muttered, looking up at the building with suspicion.
"I know what you mean. Apparently, I lived here, according to Gabe." I replied, wondering what he was doing right now. I had been gone awhile, he might have thought I ran off.
"Gabe?" Danny asked, tilting his head.
"Yeah, my friend who lives here." I replied, skipping over all the messy details.
"Hmm. Don't know him." he shrugged. "Well... It was nice seeing you." he smiled at me. "Keep in touch, yeah?"
I laughed a little. "I'll try." I waved at him, getting out of the car. Walking back into the building, I knew that Danny didn't leave yet. He was probably going to see if I had just led him here to throw him off, which I must admit would be fairly smart. But, I hadn't even thought of that, nor did I find any reason to do so.
Climbing up the stairs, I realized that I didn't have a key. Knocking on the door, I heard a small noise. The door opened and Gabe stood there, beer in hand. "You're back." he smiled. I entered the living room and sat down on the couch. There was a football game on TV, already at the 102 minute mark. Gabe followed and sat down at the other end of the couch.
"Yeah, I ran into a friend of mine. We got to talking and the time seemed to fly by." I wasn't exactly lying. I considered Danny a friend, and we did talk. There were just some things in between that would probably upset Gabe... And I didn't want to test his temper. Gabe nodded, but I could tell he was really watching the game. "Umm... I'm going to my room, okay?"
"Okay. If you need anything, just call." he added as I got up. Opening the door to my room, I shut the door behind me. Kicking off my shoes, I walked around the room. It was obviously a guest room, there was no one exact decoration style. A few photo albums were sitting on the dresser, as if they hadn't been put back. I picked up the one on the top, it had a picture of me and Gabe on the cover. I touched the picture, staring at it. Opening the book, I saw there were small circular spots on the pages. Like someone had went through this and cried. I paused when there was a group picture of us, with me and Gabe and Dougie and Danny and Alex. There was a few more people that I didn't recognize, 3 other girls and 2 other guys. We were all dressed up very nicely, and looked very happy. I turned the page again but there were no more pages. I could tell they had been ripped out. I set the album back on the dresser.
Laying back on the bed, one picture stuck out in my mind. We were on the beach, the same group as in the last picture, but the mood was different. Dougie was obviously joking and kissed my cheek while the picture was being taken, I was laughing and pushing him away. But, Gabe had a dark look on his face. The girl next to Dougie had the same look. But, even I could tell he was joking. The caption read, Looks like Gabe's got a jealous side! ;)
But still... The picture stayed with me for some reason. I rubbed the small indention on my ring finger, just like I had on the train. The argument I had with Dougie came to mind. I could clearly remember the sadness in his eyes, and then how angry he was. I could understand, since I had been so difficult. Lying on my side, I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I laid there for a long while, staring at the blank wall. After awhile, there was a knock at the door. I answered for Gabe to come in. He opened the door halfway, leaning in.
"Are you hungry? It's almost 8 o'clock." he asked softly. I sat up to look at him. I shook my head, pulling my knees to my chest. I felt empty, but not in that way. I didn't want food, I wanted to sleep. "Well... You should eat something. It's not good for you. Did you eat a late lunch?" I tilted my head, thinking. No, actually I hadn't. I hadn't eaten all day, to be honest. Normally, I would've been starving if I skipped just breakfast... But of course today hadn't been very normal.
"No... But, I'm not hungry. I don't know why." I replied quietly. Playing with my hair, I looked down. Gabe made a disappointed noise.
"Umm... Okay. Well, if you want anything, just tell me... Goodnight." he smiled halfway. I nodded, telling him the same. He closed the door, darkness consuming the room again. I laid back down, closing my eyes. Sleep was evading me tonight, almost like it was punishing me.
Opening my eyes once more, I noticed that it was morning. I guess I had finally gotten exhausted enough to fall asleep. Judging by how much light was in the room, I guessed that it was late morning at the earliest. Sitting up, I checked my phone. I was right, it was just past 11 am. Getting up, I changed into a green dress and leggings. Putting my other clothes in my bag, I looked around the room. It was too... Impersonal for me. But, according to patches of lighter paint on the walls, this was someone's room and it wasn't too long ago.
I opened the door and sat in the living room. Gabe was watching television again, however this time it was the History Channel. They were talking about World War II, which fascinated me for some odd reason. The documentary had to have gone on for quite a long time, Gabe got bored and went to go out with some of his friends. He asked if I wanted to come along, but I declined. A few more hours passed and Gabe came back. "You're still watching that?" he laughed, sitting next to me.
"Oh, hey. Yeah, I guess. Its interesting..." I paused, looking at Gabe. "Umm, Gabe?" I asked.
"Yeah?" He looked at me, a little hesitant.
"So... Dougie has a concert tonight." Gabe looked even more hesitant, his jaw jutting out a little but when I mentioned Dougie's name.
"Yeah... So? You're not thinking of going to it, are you?" his voice was tighter. I back pedaled, a little surprised by his reaction.
"No, nothing like that. But, I need to talk to him." Gabe nodded, gesturing for me to elaborate. "And I kinda need you to take me, please?" Gabe locked at his watch and said nothing, turning back to the TV. I didn't want to annoy him and ask again. I looked at the TV, now on the news. It was boring, surely he couldn't be watching it. Eventually, he stood up and grabbed his jacket.
"You said you needed to talk to Doug?" Pulling the car keys out of his pocket, he shook them. I nodded slowly and got up smoothing that dress. Gabe studied me for a moment. "You know... I kinda like that colour on you. It's pretty." I blushed, thanking him. Something about him saying that made my skin crawl. We left the apartment, and got in the car. We left toward the city center. I told him the name of the venue and Gabe nodded, making a few turns here and there. It seemed like the concert had already started when we arrived. The bus was parked by the back, so Gabe parked nearby that. I got out and walked up to the door. A techie was standing there, smoking a cigarette. He saw me and started grinning. "Hey, Miss Jenna! How are you?" he seemed very surprised to see me in the back.
"Oh, I'm fine. How are you doing?" I smiled, hoping he wouldn't ask anything else. "Umm, is Doug around?" The techie laughed, looking as if I had just asked the dimbest question on Earth.
"Oh, you're always the comedian. But, yeah, the concert should be ending in a little while." He opened the door and let me in. I followed him down a hallway and he unlocked another door. "Wait here, I'll have Dougie come by here after the concert's over." Disappearing into the hallway, the man left me alone in the room. I sat down in one of the chairs, waiting for the concert to end. Just like the technician told me, I heard Dougie's voice in the hall.
"This one?" he called. "Thanks, Isaac." The doorknob turned and I felt my breath hitch. The door opened and Dougie saw me, blinking slowly. He wiped sweat off his forehead and sighed. "It's you." I looked down, embarrassed. He took a step closer, almost as if he was making sure I was real. "What are you doing here?" he asked softly.
"I believe in a formal goodbye." I murmured, getting up. Dougie obviously didn't understand. He blinked a few times, confusion in his eyes.
"What? What is that supposed to mean?" he said. I looked up at him, smiling sadly.
"I thought you deserved a formal goodbye. A well defined farewell." Dougie understood now. He looked shocked and angry at the same time.
"... What? No. Jenna, you can't!" he cried out, shaking his head. I pursed my lips, trying to stay neutral.
"Dougie. Please. It's my decision." I replied, taking a few deep breaths. Dougie was anything but calm.
"No... No, you can't go! If it was something I did, I'll fix it. I'll do anything! Just don't go." his voice was quickly rising. I felt terrible, he was like a tortured man.
"You've gotta let me go, Doug... We're over." I felt a lump in my throat, tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes and kissed Dougie's cheek. "Goodbye, Dougie." Dougie stared at me, silenced. I left the room quickly, running out of the building. The fan girls were still lingering around, waiting for the band to get on the bus. Making my way through them, I found the car. The fan girls started screaming and I paused, looking up. Dougie was following me, pushing his way through the crowd. He grabbed my arm, a desperate look on his face.
"Please, Jenna." he pleaded. I shook my head, wiping away more tears. Gabe pulled the car up beside me. Dougie looked at the car. He saw Gabe in the driver's seat and froze. Looking back at me, his face was pale. Letting go of my arm, he stepped back. "I... I understand." It was like someone knocked all of the fire out of him. He swam through the crowd and got on the bus.
I sat in the car with Gabe. Crossing my arms, I said nothing. Gabe probably understood what was going on. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, going in the direction of his apartment. Silently, I wiped tears from my eyes and stared out the window.
If it wasn't clear before, it definitely was now. My relationship with Dougie was over. It's what I had wanted. But, why did my heart ache like this?