The first thing that was said after Jill's last remark was when Hannah gave a soft sigh, and stood up, rubbing her hands over

the legs of her jeans. "You should come into the kitchen," she told Jill. "And eat something."

Jill gave a brief nod of agreement. We all found our way to the kitchen, with Hannah carrying Isaac. Once there, Hannah installed

Isaac in his baby walker, and he began to scoot his way across the room.

"You should eat too, Clare," Hannah said, going to the stove. "I'll make some more eggs."

"I ate earlier," Clare said. Then she gave a small smile. "But-I could eat again, I think."

"Eggs coming up," Hannah said, lightly.

Then Hannah asked me if I could go down and start some laundry. I said I would, and Clare spoke up.

"I'll go and help you," she said.

Hannah nodded. "The food'll be ready when you come back up," she said.

Downstairs, Clare and I were silent for a few minutes as we sorted thru laundry, and started off two loads in the two machines.

In the corner, where Guthrie's been sleeping since Jill arrived, there was a mess of dishes. Plates, forks, and a few glasses. Candy wrappers,

and such, too.

"Guthrie's a pig," I volunteered, as I saw Clare looking over there.

"I think most teenage boys are," Clare said.

"He wouldn't leave the dishes like that if he was upstairs in his bedroom," I said. "I guess being down here, he doesn't think Hannah will

notice."

"Well, let's gather them up," Clare said, "So they can be washed."

"We should tell him to come down here and get them himself when he comes in," I said.

"We could. Let's just do it so they can be washed, and then you can scold him later," Clare said, with a smile. "Okay?"

I nodded. As we both gathered the unwashed dishes in our hands, I said, quietly, "There's so much-" I searched for

the word, "Commotion."

"Yes," Clare said, in agreement. "There is."

"I love Daniel so much," I said, feeling as though I wanted to cry.

Clare shifted Guthrie's dirty plates to one hand, and put her empty-handed arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze.

"I know you do," she said.

"I want him to be happy-but I wish he'd never met Jill," I said, softly, but with heat to my voice.

Clare gave me another squeeze. Harder this time. "Sometimes it's hard, not to wonder why things happen the way that they do," she said.

I nodded at that, and Clare said, "I am a big believer, though, that people come into your life when they are supposed to. It's not always

understood why at the time, but sometimes the reason becomes clear later on."

"I wonder if that's gonna happen this time," I said, feeling down.

"That we'll have to wait and see about," Clare said.

7

Upstairs, Hannah had the eggs and toast ready, and we all four ended up eating a plateful. I wasn't all that hungry, but it seemed to

make Hannah happy that I was eating, so I did. Nancy had come back in, too, but declined eggs, saying instead that she would take

Isaac outside in the fresh air, and Hannah thought that was a great idea.

"Maybe we can keep him up a little longer today," she said. "That way he can take a good afternoon nap. Since there's so much going on-"

She seemed to realize what she'd said just then, and sighed a bit. Jill had eaten most of the food on her plate, and held her glass of juice

between her fingers, surveying us all. Nancy gathered Isaac up, saying she would grab a baby jacket for him by the front door, and left.

When Nancy had gone, Jill said, "Is there any more questions?"

I wasn't sure if she was being forthright or sarcastic. I tried to study her expression to see which it was.

Clare was quiet, but Hannah's cheeks had bright spots of color.

"What else would you like to share?" Hannah countered, looking across the table at Jill. There was a challenge in Hanna h's tone.

"I don't want to share anything," Jill said. "But-I know that you all deserve to ask everything you want to know."

"No. That's where you are wrong," Hannah said. "We don't have the right to ask everything of you. Some things are your

right to keep private, or between you and Daniel. I don't think you should lie to him, or keep anything from him, though, Jill, I

really don't."

Inwardly, I was applauding Hannah for saying that. I even felt a sort of triumph about it. At least Jill would know that Hannah

wasn't a pushover. Or think that we wouldn't stand our ground for Daniel.

Jill's expression went from hard to sadness. "I want to be honest with Daniel," she said. "It's just-for most of my life, I haven't been

able to be forthcoming with people I've known. It hurts so much when you try to share something, and then most people you thought you might be able

to trust turn on you."

"I'm sure that's been horrible," Hannah conceded. "But, Jill, Daniel's not most people. He's the man who loves you."

And, at that, Jill seemed to crumble. She moved to get up, and it was obvious she wanted to leave the kitchen, and flee so none of us

could see her emotions. She was nearly out of her chair, when Hannah was up and around the table, tugging Jill back into the kitchen chair.

"Don't run away from it," Hannah said, putting an arm around Jill's shoulders, and sitting down beside her. "We're not going to judge you for showing that you

have feelings."

Jill tried to say something more, but then shook her head, and then bent forward in the chair, crying.

I watched, first in shock, then in almost horror, as Jill sobbed, sitting between Hannah and Clare, both of them talking quietly to her, and

patting her back and arm. I got up, stacked the dishes beside the sink, and then, the sound of her sobbing made me want to escape.

So I went out the back way, grabbing a jacket from one of the hooks. It was one of Ford's old ones, and as such, too big on me. It probably

wasn't the best choice, either, since it reminded me of him, and missing him took over all my senses. I wanted to see his face, and hear his

laugh, and hug him so hard. It hit me so hard, in fact, that I doubled around to the front and came in that way. The kitchen door was closed, and I could hear

the murmurs of voices, and Jill still crying.

I went to the telephone, and, from memory, dialed the number of Ford's dorm. Somebody answered right away, and then the phone receiver

thunked against a wall where it had been dropped, and I could hear yelling for Ford to come to the telephone.

I waited for what seemed like a really long time. Maybe he was out somewhere with some friends. He was at college, after all, and it was the

weekend. Finally, though, when I wondered whether I should maybe just hang up, an out-of-breath voice said, "Hullo?"

"Hey, Ford," I said.

"Huh? Hullo?" he said, again, and I could tell he couldn't hear me. There was an awfully lot of background noise behind him.

"It's me, Ford," I said, a good bit louder.

"Harlie!" he said, sounding glad. He sounded so glad that it only made me miss him more.

"What were you doing?" I asked him.

"Playin' handball with some of the guys-we were gettin' ready to go get something to drink."

That explained his being out of breath.

"That sounds fun," I said.

"Yeah. How are things? You okay?" he asked.

For a long moment or more I didn't answer.

"Har?" he questioned.

"I miss you," I said, instead of explaining everything that had been going on-with Chess and Leo, and all the upheaval, and Jill's impact

on the house. I mean, Ford knew about Jill, of course, but he didn't know about what had just happened the last day or so. Not unless somebody

else had called him. And he didn't seem to know anything by the way he was talking.

"I miss you, too," Ford said, not sounding so breathless now.

"Do you think I could come up and see you?" I asked.

And, before he could answer, I said, "Maybe next weekend? There's no school on Friday."

"Well," he said, sounding as though he was thinking. "Sure. That'd be great-if you think it'd be okay with everybody-"

"I'll talk to them," I said.

"I could make a trip home next weekend, probably, instead," he said.

"You don't want me to come there?" I asked, feeling really emotional.

"What?" he demanded. "Of course I want you to come-don't be talkin' dumb. I just meant, I haven't been home for a few weeks,

and it would be good to see everybody-"

"I know," I interrupted him again. "But come home the weekend after that. This coming weekend, let me come there."

I could hear his breathing, but he was so quiet for a few moments that I said, "Please, Ford!"

"Are you in some kind of trouble or somethin'?" he asked, then. "Cause you know, if you're grounded, that they're not

gonna let you come up here."

"I'm not in trouble," I said. "It's nothing like that. I just-" I hesitated. "I want to come see you. Home is-a lot to take right

now."

"Oh," he said, sort of quietly, and I knew that his forehead would be wrinkled in thought right then. Puzzled.

"Yeah," I said, still feeling emotional.

"What's goin' on?" he asked then. "At least tell me that."

"It's Jill-and lots of stuff happening with her."

"Oh," Ford said, again. "Okay. I get that."

"You would get it, if you knew everything," I said, darkly.

"Like what?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it on the phone," I said. "But, if I did, then you'd get it."

"Okay, Har, I said I get it," Ford said, sounding a good bit irritated.

"Don't be mad at me," I said. "I'll start cryin' if you are."

"Good grief Gertie," Ford said. "I'm not mad, Har."

"Okay," I said. "So I can talk to Adam and Brian about next weekend?"

"Sure."

"Okay if I say that you invited me? Not that I called you to beg?"

"Harlie, just tell 'em that you'd like to come up, and that I'm fine with it. Okay?"

"Okay," I said. "I'll talk to you later, then."

"Yep. You can call me, you know. Anytime you need to talk."

"I know," I said, feeling immensely grateful in that moment for Ford. He really was the best.

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you back," I said, and hung up.

7

After that, I went outside, going to feed the goats, and the outside dogs. Somebody, probably Guthrie, had already heaped the three

big dogs bowls full of food, but I added a cup or two more anyway. The jeep came rolling thru the pasture, and I saw Nancy carrying

Isaac into the house. I knew I should go in and take a turn with Isaac, or do up those dishes, if they hadn't been done yet.

But, I didn't want to. I had no desire to be inside the house, hearing Jill cry all hysterical. I went to get my saddle, toting it to the corral

fence. D.C., out in the field with the other horses, looked up at me. He probably thought I was going to try to put the saddle on him.

But, I wasn't. I had no desire at the moment to try to win a game of stubborn with D.C.

I was saddling Petra when the sounds of the ATV could be heard approaching. I had mounted Petra, and was adjusting my

stirrups, when the four-wheeler rode up beside me, and came to a stop.

Daniel cut the motor. "Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"Good day for a ride," he said.

"Yeah. I haven't been lately," I said.

Daniel nodded, and then his gaze settled on me. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He nodded again, in acknowledgement, and I said, "Are you?"

Daniel gave me a half-smile. "Yeah. We gonna talk about the weather now? Since we know we're each of us okay."

I couldn't help it. A giggle slipped out. I shifted forward in my saddle a bit.

"I guess so," I said, smiling at him.

Daniel gestured towards the sky. "Blue skies, green grass...temperatures above normal for this time of year-"

I laughed outright at that, and Daniel almost did, too. Not quite, but close.

"How's Jill?" he asked.

"She ate some eggs," I said. I hesitated, and then added, "When I came out, she was in the kitchen. Crying."

"Was she?" he asked, looking sad himself.

I nodded. "Hannah and Clare are with her, though," I said. "They're talking to her." After a couple moments, I added, "They're

being kind to her, Daniel. You don't have to worry about that."

"That's one thing I wouldn't be worried about, squirt. That might be the only thing right now that wouldn't worry me. But I do

know that," he said. "I better go in and check on things."

"Okay," I said.

"See ya later," he said, and started the motor.

"Where's Adam?" I asked. "Do you know?"

Daniel turned slightly to point to the south, and I nodded.

He rode on, and I put my heels to Petra's flank gently to urge her in that direction.

7