Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT

*The guys are 25 years old in this fic.*

*I have the guys at about 6'2" in this fic*

Chapter Twelve: A Surprise

Raph grunted grouchily as he trudged through the snow behind Jamie, who was quite literally skipping through the snow as if it were rain puddles.

"Jamie what the hell are we doing?" Raph growled as she stopped to wait for the crosswalk light to change, she was humming jiggle bells.

She didn't reply.

Raph glanced back at the idling truck, don's newest version of the battle-shell and grunted.

"Jamie," Raph sighed as she grabbed his mitted hand and dragged him across the street towards the self-storage units.

"Come on," she laughed.

"Why did you have me park way over there?" Raph muttered.

"To make you walk over here and to make you carry things back," Jamie teased.

Raph grunted.

"You're determined to piss me off aren't you?" Raph growled, "why do you insist on rubbing in my…"

He trailed off.

Jamie stopped in front of a storage unit and turned to look at him.

"Raph I have to tell you something about Leo before we continue," Jamie said firmly, " Leo you know about his condition and his depression, but you don't fully understand where it came from. The depression anyway."

Raph frowned at her, tugging his hat down farther.

"What do you-?" he started.

"I'm getting to that," she interrupted," Jamie pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Raph.

Raph frowned as he took the folded paper from her and slowly opened it. It was a picture, a very old, water stained, battered, and slightly burnt picture.

Of him and Leo sitting next to each other, arms slung around each other and grin on their faces. It was a picture from when they were kids, very young, no older than six at most.

"Where did you get this?" Raph demanded.

"Leo gave it to me after one of his therapy sessions with Jordan. She told him he had to stop focusing on what he had and try to build whatever he could between the two of you," Jamie whispered.

Raph gently smoothed the creases on the picture.

"Leo lost everything when he became the Jonin. Raph, he lost his best friend, he lost his freedom to become an individual, he lost his hobbies. None of this was anyone's fault Raph. You all unintentionally isolated him," Jamie whispered.

Raph flinched.

"We teased him and I got mad about Splinter choosing him for Jonin," Raph whispered, "we didn't…I was almost cruel."

"Leo's depression started about that time. He began to sink under his loneliness about the age of twelve when six months after that he attempted suicide," Jamie whispered.

Raph's head snapped up so fast Jamie flinched at the sound of his neck popping.

"He what?" Raph breathed, "he…tried to…"

"You stopped him," Jamie whispered.

Raph looked sick.

"How did I-?" he managed.

"Leo was using his katana and he-" she started.

"Said he slipped and cut his leg," Raph whispered, "he said he slipped…he…said…"

Raph trembled, chest heaving, hand cupping the picture gently while the other clenched tightly, frantically, sobs tearing free.

Jamie put a hand on his shoulder and then turned his face to look at her.

"You saved his life then Raph. He unfortunately felt more isolated after that…all of you started to call him 'fearless', 'Splinter junior', 'perfectionist'," Jamie whispered, "he couldn't achieve that so it made things worse for him. None of you knew, not even Splinter, but Leo…started cutting after that, it wasn't until you slipped and cut Leo's arm during practice one day that Leo got the attention he'd been craving. Trisha used to say 'his love tank was empty', Leo. Well everyone has 'a love tank' and Leo's was bone dry most of his life. In a sense Leo was 'starving', Trisha said Leo could've gotten all the words of encouragement that Splinter gave…even until he was blue in the face but that wasn't what Leo needed. Trisha said Leo was being starved of physical contact. When Donnie cleaned his cut and Mike hovered over him, when Splinter patted his shoulder and when you glued yourself to his side for two days it was like adding water to a dying plant. Not to call Leo a plant. Leo began to let himself get hurt just to get that kind of attention, he stopped cutting as much and started slipping up in sparing matches, in combat with your enemies. Leo let himself get hurt because it was the only time he got the physical contact he craved." Jamie whispered.

"Leo had to have contact with someone?" Raph whispered, "even just a pat on the shoulder?."

"Trisha figured it out by accident one night," Jamie whispered with a nod.

"Leo was a mess, you and him had a bad fight. Leo kept flinching whenever Trisha tried to stitch him up, kept pulling away. It wasn't until after Trisha grabbed him arm and then made him look at her that she realized that Leo was fighting between desperately wanting to lean into her hands and trying to maintain his tough exterior." Jamie whispered.

"But why come here today?" Raph asked, "why tell me this here?"

"Because here is where Leo got a taste of love for the first time in years, of the love he needed. Here Leo got to know what it felt like to have people care about him. Leo and Trisha, Trisha first, would take Christmas presents and a Christmas tree up to the kids in the cancer ward every year. Leo got hugs, even a few kisses from those kids and it did wonders for him. Leo thrived on it and the kids loved him," Jamie answered.

"Huh," Raph managed, eyes flicking back towards the picture in hand sadly, "so are we going to go see the kids?"

"No, I went to see them last night" Jamie whispered, "But you are helping me make Christmas for Leo. Inside this unit is, was, Trisha and my own Christmas stuff, our tree, our ornaments, the whole nine yards pardon the cliché. I needed you to understand that Leo, needs a hug every once and a while, especially from you. Especially after what happened. Leo needs to know that you care about him, that as his brother, you love him despite his faults. Leo's depression got worse because of Trisha's death and because he very suddenly was isolated again in a way he…he…hadn't had to face in years."

"Leo needs us to be there for him more than just saying we're sorry and talking to him, he needs us to be close to him," Raph whispered.

Jamie nodded.

"We're going to take this stuff back to the lair and put it up and you are going to glue yourself to Leo and hug him until he punches you in the face got it?" Jamie ended with a teasing tone.

Raph looked at her and nodded seriously.

"If that will help him," Raph whispered, "I never meant to…hurt him that way."

Jamie hugged him.

"I know it's hard to face and Trisha was worried that when you all found out that it'd hurt all of you as bad as Leo if not worse," Jamie whispered.

Raph nodded.

"Man, I really screwed up…screwed him up didn't I?" Raph breathed as Jamie stepped back.

Jamie gave him a sad smile and rubbed his arm.

"He'll be ok Raph," Jamie whispered, "he'll be ok."

Raph nodded and dragged his sleeve across his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath.

"Ok, let's do this," Raph said firmly.

Jamie smiled.

"Mike's supposed to be cookin and Splinter is helping. Don's distracting Leo. It'll be a hit," Jamie said with a smile.

Raph chuckled.

What felt like mere seconds later Raph finished closing up the back of the truck and climbed into the driver's seat.

"You should let me drive," Jamie said with a teasing grin.

"Yeah right," Raph muttered, "and my name is nancy."

Jamie snorted.

"Hi Nancy," she teased.

Raph glared at her.

"Watch it, he growled good naturedly.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait been rather busy. Here's the next chapter. PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME GUYS! (if I haven't gotten back to you yet I will soon)