"Sherlock, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I've not heard from you in two weeks and now you're on my TV, what happened?"
"Ah Lestrade, well yes, I've been rather busy lately."
"Who's on the phone?" John asked sleepily, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. Sherlock talking had woken him up from what he supposed counted as an afternoon nap, but the way Sherlock was playing with his hair relaxed him before he could get angry at being awoken.
"Sherlock, seriously, you're on my TV. Fill me in now?"
"Get off the phone!" John mouthed, before leaning down to kiss Sherlock's chest.
"I'm going to have to call you back, Lestrade." Sherlock began, then held the phone away to moan a little as John's head dipped lower. "I'm just about to murder someone."
Pressing the red end call button, he threw his phone onto the nightstand and resumed working his fingers through John's hair.
"Go away, I'm busy." Sherlock spoke into the receiver the next time it rang.
"Nuh-uh, Freak, you're on bloody Take Me Out. What kind of investigation is this? It's bloody hilarious!" Sherlock heard crunching, like popcorn being hastily stuffed into the gob of someone normally using their mouth on… Never mind.
"Busy." Sherlock repeated, before hanging up again.
He hummed with pleasure as John swallowed, and grunted a little just as his phone began to ring again.
"Mycroft, if you dare call me again I will take your gastric band and tighten it over your femoral artery."
"Nice to know you can be so wonderfully creative under any circumstances, little brother. I just thought I should inquire as to whether you want me to remove the cameras from your bedroom?"
Mycroft hung up before Sherlock could answer, which was just as well because he'd lost the ability to form sentences at that point.
"I love you."
"And I love you. Come on, shower, and then you're taking me out for dinner."
"Doctor Watson, I thought you were taking me out?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow as he questioned.
"Shower. And I thought we could use your excellent deducing skills to find somewhere good to eat."
"Angelo's. About time you met Angelo. You can meet Lestrade tomorrow. And Mycroft will probably kidnap you shortly." He heaved himself out of bed and began walking out towards the bathroom, grabbing a towel as he walked. "Ooh, you're going to have such fun."
This is what I will now refer to as "English language revision".
I'm gonna have John meeting everyone, and then I'm going to do a kind of reunion episode of the show, and then we're done.
I might do a few Mystrade one shots, but I need to take a break and actually revise for my GCSEs, because if I don't pass them I will never leave this town and hello, that is more necessary than oxygen, like seriously.
Rambly ramble.
Ciao.