Randy, John, and I laid back on the mat just talking about what we all liked, while Ted listened closely and laughed. "John, rap is not the only kind of music there is..." I said as I sighed."Honestly I don't really care for rap. I would like a nice country song or a song that relates to me personally." Randy and John hold each of my hands. "Shay, are you truly okay." Randy asked squeezing my hand slightly. "Honestly,no I'm not. I'm so scared someone is going to jump out at me and hurt me again.. I'm so tired of being scared. I need help finding me again...I don't know who I am anymore..." I stand up and pace. "I feel like a little child again. I'm a 25 year old woman for Christ's sake." John looks to Randy and he walks up to me. "Let's go take a walk the two of us."
I nod and climb out of the ring and Randy looks to John and he nods."talk to her. You know how it is like. Ted and I will talk til you two get back." Randy nods and walks up to me and we walk outside to a wooded area."Shay, I know how you feel. This story only one other knows and he's our other half. I was abused as a child. My father would come home drunk and I was the oldest. I was beaten..." He stops and I hold his arm. "Randy, I understand you don't have to go any farther." He looks me in my eyes. "Babygirl, don't let them win. I know it is hard. Believe me, I had to do it alone. That is where some of my anger problems originate. I bottled it in. You can't do that. It will damage you worse in the end." Randy looked away and I turned him back to me. "I have done things that I am not proud of because of that. I don't want you to become me." We walk to a clearing that has a pond and just look at it. "This is where I come to get away from all of the hurt." He sits on a stump and smiles."Sit with me?" I smile and sit on his lap hesitantly. "Shay, talk to me. I truly know how you feel. Just lay it all out for me." I close my eyes and let a tear fall. "Why do you love me? Who could love someone so broken? I'm not good enough." Randy rubs my back letting me talk. I finish and stay quiet."I asked John those same things when we got together. You want to know what he told me? He said...its because I see the person inside. You are so beautiful inside. You care. Shay, you know who you truly are. I know your hurting. Just lean on us. We can help build you back up. You have to get the courage inside to change...it won't be a cake walk but we will get through this together." I look up at him and smile. "Okay. I'm tired of being the scared girl. Your right. I'm the only one who can change this." Randy smiles noticing a change in my attitude."That's our girl." He kisses me and I hesitate at first but then I let myself relax and enjoy the kiss..Randy lays back on the ground and pulls me on top of him. "I will stop at anytime just say the words." We kiss and lay back just enjoying each others company. "Thank you Randy for trusting me. I will keep your secret safe." He smiles and kisses me one last time. "Baby, you trusted me with yours. We should head back. I'm getting hungry." I smiles and stand and Randy does the same. I dust off his back and pants smiling. I yawn slightly."Are you tired?" Randy asked worriedly. "A little...but I'm okay. Some food will help." Randy smiles and we head back to the arena. John smiles at me and walks up. "Hey sweetheart, do you feel any better?" I nod and my stomach growls. "Can we go home so we can eat and get some rest?" The guys look to me and shake their heads. "Sure Shay...I will go get your bag." Ted walks off.
"Why does this shit have to happen to good people..." I turn around and both John and Randy wrap their arms around me."We don't know, but what we do know is that we're here for u." I let them hold me."You know, I trust the two of you. I felt it when I met you. I have never felt like this before, and honestly, it kind of scares me. I'm trying to be honest with all of you because I have hidden myself for so long. It scares me to trust myself again." Randy and John sighed."Sweetie, ask John, I had those same fears. Hell I still do. But you have some strong moral support in John. I try to be but I'm still healing myself." John rubs both of our backs."You two have been so brave. Randy, your monster is gone. Shay, you have to face you demons everyday. Know that you can come to us and we will listen." I smiled and see Ted bringing my bag. "I feel a lot better talking to all of you. It may take me a while but I will be me again. All I ask is that u bear with me." They turn to me and smile."We will...hell your talking to here.." John laughs and shoves Randy. "Oh hush John, you have your moments!" He shoves John back and I laugh. They turn and smile at me and Ted walks up to us. "Let's go I'm hungry!" We all laugh and head to the car and head home.