Chapter 2 – Kaidan
"Are we gonna make it, Kaidan?"
Five years ago.
The world was coming to an end. All hope was lost.
Harbinger had hit the Normandy just as she had been about to pick up speed – as a result the ship was catapulted from the battlefield, flipped over several times, crashed. Metallic screeches drowned people's screams as they were violently thrown across the room.
The lights went out soon after the crash and Kaidan realised they would die now. It was over.
Except that it was not. The emergency lights flared up, he heard Vega's moans and Liara's confused muttering. For a short moment, Kaidan wanted to lie down, pass out and wake up in a comfortable hospital bed, but hell, he had just left the hospital. No, now was not the time. He knew what needed to be done and he better start at once.
He spat onto the ground and saw one of his teeth down there. Considering the taste in his mouth this did not really surprise him. He activated his Omni-tool. "Dr Michel, are you hurt?"
"No, Major."
"Good. Get down to the shuttle bay. We need you here immediately."
"I'm on my way."
"EDI, status report." Hopefully, the ship's AI was still functional.
"Rebooting systems, Major. The drive core is damaged, but we seem to have landed on a soft surface."
It had definitely not felt soft. "How many casualties?" The hardness in his voice surprised even him and made Tali look up, but there would be time for mourning later. Now was not the time.
"Two light casualties on the bridge. But no deaths."
What a relief! Kaidan paused for a second, took a deep breath and assessed his own injuries. In addition to his tooth his nose had been broken and he had a nasty gash on his forehead that was bleeding like mad. His right arm refused to move at all, damn, it was horribly broken. The sight nearly made him sick.
"Trayner, get communications back online and find out where we are", he ordered. He had to keep going before the pain kicked in…
"Of course, Major."
"Adams, what's the situation?"
"We're alright. Allers got hit in the head and Donnelly's passed out, but we're alright."
"Good to hear."
The crew deck was empty except for Dr Michel, the pets in the captain's cabin were probably dead and the shuttle bay – was a horrible mess. At the same time, however, it was a miracle, as well: He had expected to be blown to bits by Harbinger's attack.
No, of course not, it was not a miracle, this was Shepard's doing. He had upgraded his ship, he had taken precautions no one else would have.
Shepard. He felt sick for a moment, but he drove the man out of his mind. Later. Now is not the time, he mumbled to himself, he had to be functional for the sake of the others. It was what Shepard would have done.
He saw Liara crawl to Vega and try to apply some Medigel to his legs – it was no use, his wounds were too extensive and she was shaking from shock. She had been running around the bay for minutes before Harbinger had hit them. Kaidan used his biotics to force her onto the ground so she would not pass out.
Dr Michel entered the shuttle bay, Kaidan pointed at Vega and she ran to the wounded soldier. He had lost too much blood already, hell, half the blood in the bay seemed to be his – there was a dark red trail running across two walls and the ceiling that ended almost exactly above his current position. He would die.
No, don't think that!
Vega was still alive, he was even conscious. He had lost his legs when Harbinger's beam had hit him after pushing Liara out of its way.
With his next breath, Kaidan noticed the stench of blood and burnt flesh. It was hard to stomach.
Pull yourself together, man.
There were five other soldiers they had collected from the battlefield, possibly the only survivors from the final push to the conduit. They had still been alive when they had dragged them into the Normandy…
But the first one Kaidan checked was dead now. The second one was barely breathing, the third – dead. The fourth had lost an arm, but he would live. The last one had a few burns and a lot of scratches; he, too, would survive. Kaidan took care of them as best as he could before he moved on to Tali and Garrus.
She was sitting on the floor, breathing hard. Her suit was torn open and Garrus was desperately looking for things to patch it up. His panic and fear for her life seemed to have driven his own broken leg out of his mind. Kaidan used to his biotics to seal the hole, it would last as long as he was conscious, but he would have to focus. You did not learn these tricks at brain camp. Garrus seemed impressed, but Tali shook her head.
"The infection will still kill me", she said.
"No, it won't. You survived the battle, you'll survive a cold", Kaidan replied harshly and ignored the reprimanding look the Turian gave him. There was nothing more he could do, he realised, and he sank to the ground next to her.
"Give me some of your Medigel." Garrus took whatever Kaidan had left to smear it onto the biotic's forehead without waiting for an answer.
Kaidan thanked him, hesitated and looked down on his right arm. Then he took the handle of his pistol into his mouth, bit down on it and positioned his left hand above his right arm – he had one shot at this. Tali gasped when she realised what he was about to do.
Bang!
The shock of it was too much. His vision blurred, he threw up violently on the floor, accidentally leaned on his broken arm and nearly fainted from a new attack of pain. He was shaking uncontrollably and tears were streaming down his face. But the bones on his arm were back to their proper position.
"You're much tougher than I thought", Garrus said matter-of-factly. Kaidan nodded and wiped the tears of his face.
"Major Alenko, I've got reports from London." Trayner sounded excited, a tone he considered tasteless.
"What happened?" He did not dare say more – he was afraid of being sick.
"The Crucible has fired. The Reapers are gone."
The room went silent at once. No one seemed to have taken in a word she had said until, finally, Vega broke the silence with a groan. They had won. It was all Kaidan needed to hear to regain his strength.
"Patch me through, Trayner. I wanna talk with whoever's in charge."
"Alright. And Major? I'm fairly positive we're still on Earth."
"Thank you."
More good news. This meant help could come within hours instead of days. Vega had a few hours left tops and Tali would not make it past a week.
"Major Alenko. Glad you're alive." It was Admiral Hackett's voice, but it sounded strange – it trembled with excitement. He had never heard the Admiral like this.
"So am I. Tell me what happened. We've been shot down, we didn't see anything."
"Anderson and Shepard made it to the Citadel. They opened its arms and the Crucible took care of the Reapers. We're still fighting their remaining troops, but we are winning. Once this battle is done, the war will be over."
He did not seem to believe it himself.
"What about Shepard?" Kaidan could not stop himself. It seemed like such a selfish question to ask. What about my boyfriend, did my boyfriend make it out alive, I care about my own happiness, what do I care about anyone else? "And Anderson", he added after a beat.
"We're not sure."
Three words that felt like a knife through the heart. No, you do not lose hope now, he thought. What did "not sure" really mean? Nothing! The Normandy's crew was alive even though their communications had been cut off. No one could have been sure about their fate, either. Yes… Shepard had to be fine, too.
"We lost contact a few minutes before the Crucible fired. But the Citadel is gone. It's exploding in orbit as we speak. I don't think…"
"… no, me neither", Kaidan interrupted. It was rude, especially to a man of Hackett's position. "Admiral, we need transportation, and we need it fast. Our crew is injured and they need to get to a hospital."
"We know your position. We'll send someone as soon as we can. Hackett out."
Kaidan did not know what to do next. He felt empty. No thoughts, no emotions, no pain. Shepard was gone. He had always known he might not make it, he had said farewell back in London and he had admitted they would probably never see each other again. But still, Kaidan had been hoping.
Dammit, why had Shepard decided to run up to the conduit with Vega and Liara? Kaidan had been with him on virtually every assignment except this one. He could have joined him wherever he was now.
"Kaidan, I…" Garrus tried to say something, but the words never left his mouth.
The biotic ignored him, stood up and sat down again. He had no idea where wanted to go, he could just as well stay here. He covered his forehead and his eyes with his left hand, but he was far from crying; he simply could not stand seeing the shuttle bay any longer. He was reeking of blood and vomit, his right arm hurt and he could not stop thinking about Shepard.
At least, he had actually kissed him this time.
"Major, you might want to see this", Joker's voice rang through the Omni-tool. Feeling slightly disconnected from his body, Kaidan lowered his arm and established a visual connection.
"What is it?"
"Just look", Joker answered and forwarded the feed from the Normandy's outer cameras to him. Apparently, they had crashed on top of some sort of tropical rain forest. It was yet another miracle that the ship had not set the trees on fire or fallen off from her delicate position and killed them all. But the truly shocking part of the view was the sky – was this another moon? It was huge!
"What is that?", he gasped.
"The Citadel's remains. Its artificial gravity keeps the rubble above the atmosphere close, creating some sort of disk", he heard EDI say. She explained a bit more about physics and how it worked in detail, but Kaidan had stopped listening. Shepard's body was up there on that disc. He felt no desire to see it and shut off his Omni-tool.
Two hours passed before rescue ships arrived and took them to the nearest hospital. The doctors told Kaidan that Vega would survive, although it would take years to give him new legs. Tali and Garrus were transferred to London where they could receive proper medication; she was already feeling ill. Liara had a concussion, but was unharmed otherwise. And everyone else was fine as well – it was a relief beyond words.
Kaidan himself would make a full recovery, too, although the nerves in his arm needed time to regrow. He found he did not care very much. The time for crying and wailing had come, he decided as he lay in his bed, he wanted to mourn the loss of…
Admiral Hackett's timing was impeccable. He sent an urgent call that Kaidan dared not ignore.
"Major Alenko, we have news."
"What kind of news?"
"We found Shepard. He's alive."