I thank Fragment12 for giving me the idea for this chapter and thank Winter Storm (again) for editing.
Just to be clear, this is on both fimfiction and fanfiction. Fanfiction is farther ahead, but it does not get edited.
Also, review. Rate. Do something so let me know this is getting read. I feel like no one is reading it.
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I was sobbing. But I didn't feel bad. I felt better than ever.
"Do you need a moment" Dr. Whooves said
"Yeah" I said, already halfway out the door.
I passed by Diamond as I left for the bathroom
"You okay man?" Diamond said, but I ignored him, continuing my path to the bathroom.
I opened the door and walked into the small room. Only a sink and a toilet belonged to the room along with a bar of soap and toilet paper.
I moved to the sink, not having to go to the bathroom. I splashed my face with water, rubbing my face with my hooves. I looked into the mirror to see a dark green face look back. The shabby mane covered the reflections forehead. The metallic blue eyes were framed by dark circles caused by years of insomnia. I stared into the mirror for a short time, but eventually got bored.
Feeling better, I left the small room and headed towards Dr. Whooves room. I passed by Diamond once more, but this time, I flashed a smile in his direction, something he was happy to return. I thought back to the past few months and recognized few moments where I was happy.
"Good luck Ember!" He exclaimed after I had walked by.
"Thanks" I said, closing the door once more.
Whooves had his eyes closed, rocking back and forth in his chair. He sat in it like I saw a cyan pony sit in chairs.
"So what do you want to talk about now?" Dr. Whooves said without opening his eyes.
"I still don't have any clue why it happened and I was hoping that you could help me with that." I said
"The way she said it, my guess is that the spark was gone. The magic of the moment gone. Her heart didn't skip a beat when she saw you." Dr. Whooves said, moving past his role of therapist to a friend. Which once again, seemed unusual.
I mulled over this thought, accepting it as a possibility. How could I bring the spark back? How could I re-introduce the passion? I thought, gaining back hope for something gone, never to return.
An awkward silence overcame the room, submerging it with discomfort.
"So what have the past few months been like for you?" Dr. Whooves asked, breaking the silence with a giant hammer.
"Well, I tried to write out my feelings, but that just didn't work. Then I just... stopped. I didn't really do much. I didn't sleep, go to school, communicate with anyone or leave the house." I said
"Why?" Dr. Whooves said
"I didn't see any hope in the future. My life was taken away. I felt hollow, as if nothing was left." I said
"Grim... That's not healthy, You know that right?" Dr. Whooves said sarcastically with a smirk on his face. I chuckled in return.
"I'm sorry, this might be...strange, but I'm interested in how your relationship started." Dr. Whooves said. I was taken aback. There was only one thought on my mind Is DD sure this guy has a license... he's so... strange.
"No, not at all." I said, thinking of a place to start.
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I sat in math, waiting for the teacher to begin class.
"Today, we will be continuing our discussion from last week on the intricacies of triangles" Mr. Pythagorean said, standing up at the front of the room
I took out my journal and pencil, ready to take notes.
"Why does this guy love triangles so much? It's frickin unnatural." Diamond Dasher whispered to me. I chuckled at his usual quip towards the teacher that was probably the youngest in the school. Whenever it was work-time, he sat at the back of the class with the genius kid who played gamepony everyday. I never bothered to learn his name, but he astounded me. He knew everything about math and got a perfect on every test and assignment, but rarely moved a muscle unless it was time to leave.
"Sorry I'm late everypony." A mare said, rushing into class, papers falling from her bag. When nobody went to help her with the disorganization, I decided to go help her. Dashing to the front of the class, I helped her clean up. "Thanks, I'm Colgate" She said after I was done helping her.
"As Ember just learned, this is the new student, Colgate." Mr. Pythagorean said, introducing her to the class. "There is an open seat in front of Diamond Dasher, please go to your seat Ms. Colgate."
She looked for man empty chair, and seeing one in front of where I came from, she headed there.
"Hey, I'm Green Ember, pleasure to meet you" I whispered to Colgate.
"Nice to meet you." She said, pausing. "would you mind telling me what's going on?"
"Not at all" I said "see, that's our teacher. He loves triangles. Well, a student said squares were better, so he went into a long discussion last week about triangles and I think over the weekend he forgot why he started it and decided to continue it." I whispered to her in a short breath. She looked back with an unsure look on her face
"Triangles. That's all you need to know" Diamond Dasher said. She smiled at him. "B T dubs, I'm Diamond Dasher" He said, a little too loud
"Is there something that the class needs to know about today's topic Mr. Dasher." The teacher said, spitting mad about the fact that he was interrupted.
"Yes, you forgot to identify what the hypotenuse's relationship with the legs is." Diamond Dasher said.
"Thank you, I knew I was missing something." Mr. Pythagorean said, buying into Diamond Dasher's charm. He then continued his chat about triangles until class ended. I had spaced out during most of it, already knowing the material.
As I cleaned up, I looked to Colgate's desk to see a sheet of paper filled with neat handwriting and equations spoken by the teacher.
I left the class with Diamond Dasher, but there was somepony tailing us. I didn't see it, but I felt it. I ignored my gut and proceeded to my third class, one of the few without Diamond in it also, Creative Writing. I had taken it because not only was my talent writing, but it also had my favorite teacher, Mr. Kindle. He was an incredibly nice, relaxed guy who was still able to maintain control of the students. His talent was to inspire, something that he had done for me, way back in foal school. He had came to my class as a substitute teacher and after recess, he had noticed I was gone. He went out to the playground to look for me and he found me at the swing set, crying after the harassment of other students. I still hadn't found my cutie mark, and this was a main-point of harassment, but they also made fun of me for being ugly, non-athletic and the list continues to grow. He had managed to get a room all to myself and told me to "do what I wanted". So I wrote and wrote for the rest of the day and when he came in, he smiled at me and told me to look back. I did as he said and nearly exploded with joy. I had gotten my cutie mark. It was a pencil with the tip on fire, heated by the writing it had done.
I walked into the classroom to see that smiling face I looked forward to seeing everyday.
"Hey, Ember. How you doing little man?" He said affectionately, the way an uncle would greet a child of any age.
"Great as always." I said. This was my safe-zone. I could come out of my shell, if only for an hour and do something I loved.
"And who is this behind you?" He said, looking behind me. I looked around to see Colgate's dark blue form behind me.
"I'm Colgate." She said, not missing a beat.
"Sit wherever you like and start writing. Or relaxing. Do what you want as long as words are formed. Poetry, stories, songs, I don't care. I just want expression." He said, using his usual speech to greet new students.
"Thank you, it's a pleasure to be in this class." She said walking over to my normal spot in the corner, on the squashed pillow
"Son of a bitch." I said
"There are some things you just don't touch. This is not one of those. Don't push her out, join her." Mr. Kindle said, nearly reading my mind.
I walked over to the corner and without a word, sat down and began to write. I began to continue my tale of Thenian, an alicorn trying to defend Equestria from Morgarath, a pony of limitless evil. I continued the scene where he tried to escape his prison inside the mountain, getting past the thousand guards placed to keep him in. I wrote for the entire class, never looking up from the papers sewn together carefully to make a book.
"What are you writing?" Colgate said as I got ready to leave.
"My story. It's everything I've worked on in the past few months. What about you?" I replied
"Just poetry. It's stupid really." She said looking down to her bag as she levitated her materials into her bag.
"I'm sure it's great. I hope I can read it sometime." I said, attempting to make her feel better.
"I'm sure you will, I just have to finish a few more pieces." She said, her bag already on her back.
"I'm looking forward to it." I said, standing up fro my uncomfortable position. I've gotten far too used to the pillow. I'm so sore. I thought on my way to the door
"See you later Ember" Colgate said, walking in the opposite direction.
"See ya!" I shouted after her, but I doubted she heard. She was already down the hall and turning the corner.
"Shit. I can't let my guard down like that." I mumbled to myself as I left for history.
2 months later
"Dude, I'm so bored." Diamond said, lying on his back on my bed.
"I'll get right on that" I said with thick sarcasm.
Nobody spoke for a minute, but that didn't mean I wasn't thinking.
Dude, come on. We need as much help as we can get. If we stay too long, we get friend-zoned. One side of me argued, as my imagination conjured up two of me with no differences between them.
Relationships are personal. Don't tell anyone. We'll figure it out later. Another one of me said
Ask him about it really vaguely Yet another one said, popping out of nowhere. That's when it clicked. It was perfect, it isn't condemning but any advice would be helpful. He's had a few marefriends, he'll know something.
"You think I should get a marefriend?" I asked, destroying the silence with a solid buck.
"Umm, yeah. I guess?" Diamond said, uncomfortable by the random question. "Who were you thinking of?"
"Nopony in particular." I said
"Nopony says that without thinking of somepony in particular. Who is it?" He continued to push
I wanted to tell somepony and I knew he wouldn't stop. "Don't tell anypony." I said after deciding to tell him.
"Okay" He said
"Swear on your life." I said
"I swear." He said, his face looking amused.
"Colgate." I said, a look of disbelief overcame his face.
After recovering from the shock, he said "You too would look good together."
"Well how should I-" I said, interrupted by knocking.
"You do it now. Don't be awkward and more importantly, be chill." He said, answering my unfinished question. He probably had the same questions I have I thought
I walked over to the front of the house and over to my door. I opened it for Colgate, already knowing who it was. She knocked in a certain tap tappity tap thunk way that was unique to only her.
"Hey Ember" She said
"Hey Colgate." I said. Without a pause, I decided, just do it now. "Would you like to go out sometime?"
"What a coincidence. Kinda why I came over." She said, apparently not knowing Diamond was over. At this I nearly died.
I was not sure how long I had feelings like this. They had kind of always been there. What was happening didn't make sense. Out of nowhere, she had the same feelings? Or was she just trying to make me feel better?
"So… how about it?" I said, taking a seat on the worn couch in the small living room. It was a small apartment that I rented for cheap. I easily paid for it with the money I made writing short stories for a small publishing company. As long as the stories didn't do horrible, they made money to pay for food and the apartment and every semester I have to pay for tuition, which my parents help me out with. Colgate took a seat next to me, ready to answer almost immediately
Before she could answer, I heard hoofsteps behind us. I turned around to see Diamond Dasher behind me. Colgate saw my attention turn, so she also looked behind the couch to see the missing member of the trio.
"Hey Colgate. I would love to stay, but my parents need help with the, uuhhhhh… basement." He said trying to make up an excuse.
Colgate laughed, her beautiful laugh twinkling on my ears.
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I was stuck in the past, thinking of a better time. It started out so well, but the end was so sudden, it nearly gave me whiplash. I wondered what she felt like. Had she moved on? Why did she end it? I could only wonder. It didn't matter why, or what she did after. All that mattered was that she didn't care. Not anymore.
"Some things you just have to leave alone. I have no clue what this is." Dr. Whooves said.
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1 month earlier
I walked up to her apartment door, holding a rose I dyed blue in my hooves. The rain normally would have destroyed it, but I had used a preservation spell on it.
I stood at the door, hearing her laugh from the other side of the door. I wanted, no I needed her back. I knocked on the door, but quickly regretted it, running away and dropping the rose. I heard the door behind me and her beautiful voice behind me say "What's this? It's so pretty.
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"I wonder if he's moved on." I said, sitting across from Amethyst Star. After she had taken a break from the relationship, she stopped hanging out with Ember and Diamond, leaving her to make new friends.
"He probably has. He's a guy, they don't care about much." Star said.
"I haven't seen him in a while, I wonder if he's okay." I said absent-mindedly
"Snap out of it. You left him for a reason." She said
"That's the thing. I didn't leave him. I don't know why I wanted to take a break." I said honestly.
"Look, this is boring. You obviously want him back. He won't come back, he has too much pride. You have to go back. The way I hear it, you made the mistake not him. You have to make it right." Star said, finally saying something helpful
"What if he doesn't want to get back together?" I said
"Doesn't matter, you need closure. I have to going; I promised Lyra I would help her write a song." Star said. She left my apartment, taking her bag with her.
I thought about what to do know. After deciding, I followed her out the door but I did not share her destination. I was going to who I belonged with.
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"You spaced out, weren't you going to- never mind." Dr. Whooves said after my long silence.
"Sorry, I got lost in a moment long gone." I said
"What do you write about?" Dr. Whooves asked of me.
"Well, I've been writing a story for about 2 years now about a hero who has to defend Equestria from an evil over the mountains and the seas."
"That doesn't seem like 2 years' worth of work." Dr. Whooves said
"So, before Celestia and Luna ruled, their father Thenian was the ruler of Equestria. He controlled the tides, the sun and the moon. He was said to be more powerful than anypony else. But many things are kept secret, right? Nopony had ever crossed the sea or the mountains in that time, so nopony knew about the evil that lay over the Equestrian border but Thenian. This monster was Morgarath, the twin of Morgarath. Morgarath was more powerful than Thenian, but thanks to Thenian's superior intelligence, Morgarath had been beaten once before, but only temporarily. Gaining more power over the years, Morgarath went into legend and fell into obscurity; only the oldest knew his name. Eventually, even Thenian forgot about him, needing to tend to his people more than legend. One day, as Thenian was tending to the su-"
"Stop, I'll read it when it comes out." Dr. Whooves said, interrupting me.
"You better" I said
Dr. Whooves glanced at the clock. It was already 7:30 at night, 3 hours had been covered in this session. 3 hours I expected horrible, actually better than the past month.
"I have to go home now, I expect to see you next week." Dr. Whooves said.
"Great minds think alike." I said
Leaving the room with Dr. Whooves, I saw the asleep Diamond.
"The building is on fire!" I screamed.
"Holy Shit!" Diamond said. He saw that it was just me and Dr. Whooves and he mumbled "asshole"
Laughing at him, we all left the building. Dr. Whooves split off once we left, going the other direction. I didn't mind, He probably had his own family. Thinking of family, I became sullen. My hopes of having- no sharing a family with Colgate. My lonely childhood, watching the other happy ponies playing.
"Dude, you want some food" Diamond said, munching on a hayburger from his bag. It was probably nasty and cold by now.
"No. just, no." I said
We walked in silence, with the only noise being his chewing, but even that became silence.
"So you done being emo depressy-pants?" He said, getting a hearty laugh from me.
"What do you think?" I said
"That you so owe me one" He replied
"damnit! Not again. I haven't owed anyone in a while, I knew something like that would happen." I said. I hated owing people simply because it means that you were indebted to them. It just was not a good feeling.
"Relax, just get me a some fries or something." He said, chuckling at the fact that my buttons could be pushed so easily.
We walked over to my apartment. He didn't come in on account of having to study for a quiz I would have to take tomorrow also. I opened the door with my eyes closed, ready to relax. I walked in, opening my eyes.
I saw the one thing I didn't want at the moment. Had I seen any time else, I would have accepted this with open arms, but this was the worst time. I saw Colgate, a blue rose, the same blue rose that I left on her doorstep weeks ago, on her head. She was in tears. She wrapped her hooves around my neck and through her sobs whispered "I'm so… so sorry, I… Shouldn't have… done that."