Title: Toward the Rising Sun
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Zuko, Aang, some Zuko/Katara
Warnings: none that I can think of, beyond my horrible sense of humor
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to the nice folks at Nickelodeon.
Summary: Zuko and Aang need to learn to trust each other. Cue the road trip to find the Sun Warriors, with plenty of arguing, dirty jokes, and pirates besides. S3 AU. [Heals All Wounds #4]
A/N: Thank you to jin_fenghuang for the beta!
High atop the central temple, sacred peaks eerily outlined by the rising moon, Zuko leaned against the wall next to the furnace of the First Flame. Arms crossed, he watched the bright bursts of fire thrown so effortless and casually by firebenders performing the Dancing Dragon, led by the Chief of the Sun Warriors himself. The entire settlement had crowded onto the ancient building to celebrate the completion of the dragons' mating ritual, the renewal of fire itself. The revelry had begun just after they descended from the mountains and continued late into the night. The sun extinguished, firebenders drew instead fully on their chi and the dim, distant power of the stars. Nonetheless the Sun Warriors put on an impressive show of stylized dances and duels, putting even the Fire Festival in the palace to shame.
Aang had eagerly joined in, of course, taking his first true firebending lesson from the Chief while Zuko hung back to watch. He had too much to think about to join the fun – not that he liked fun, anyway.
The exultation of the dragon flight was beginning to wear off, although not of the revelation he had experienced. He knew, deep in his gut and with breathtaking certainty, what it was to firebend. What he had been doing wrong all these years. He could feel the power at his fingertips – not violent or sickening. Not begging for release.
Comfortably banked. Set for the moment, but warm with embers that glowed and faded with his breath.
He wanted it. He couldn't lie to himself about that. But he didn't know who he would be if he let go of his anger and guilt.
Prince Zuko, healed of his scar, stripped of his title, smiling at the Avatar's side. Who the hell was that?
He grimaced to himself. It wasn't like in Ba Sing Se. He wouldn't be giving up on his destiny for the sake of his own happiness – which for once seemed like a real possibility, instead of a mocking phantasm of the past. Maybe he could confront his destiny and be happy.
But he couldn't shake the feeling that it didn't work that way. He couldn't face his father without anger, see his uncle again without guilt. He couldn't touch the scar on Katara's side…
"There you are!" Aang called. Zuko jerked, looking at him in annoyance. Aang grinned broadly, swiping sweat off his forehead as he gestured back to the party. "You've got to get out there. The firebending is amazing and the food's not bad either! There's this drink you have to try. I don't even know how to describe it."
Zuko narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
"It's not alcoholic, is it?"
Katara would kill him.
"No! Uh… well, I don't know. But it's made from this bean and it's spicy and it's really, really good, Zuko. You'd like it."
"Uh huh."
A cheer went up from the crowd and Aang turned. He grabbed at Zuko's arm, trying to haul him away from the wall.
"Come on, I think they're about to start fire limbo!"
Zuko shook him off – for once, without a glare.
"I don't do fire limbo." Not on his ship when Uncle organized it and most definitely not now. "Besides, Aang, I was wondering if we could talk."
Aang's eyes took on a serious, wary look. There was so much still unresolved between them and it was clear that he worried Zuko was about to violate their tentative truce.
"Sure, okay," he agreed, nevertheless.
Zuko nodded toward the steep stairs of the temple and together they walked away from the bright firelight of the celebration. They settled on the edge of the temple, sitting in the dark blue night. It felt a relief to have his face cloaked in darkness again and Zuko looked out over the jungle as he thought.
"So what was it you wanted to talk about?" Aang asked. From the corner of Zuko's eye, he could see Aang picking nervously at his loose, Sun Warrior trousers, legs folded beneath him.
"I need to know if you can forgive me," Zuko said.
The temple was high above the jungle and Zuko could see out past the edges of the island, to where the ocean moved silently in the moonlight. The constellations registered with him, automatic after all these years, and his mind quietly reoriented himself. A part of him had already known – he was looking toward home.
"Sure, I forgive you," Aang said. "We both said a lot of stupid stuff earlier. I know you didn't really mean it."
Zuko turned, locking eyes with him.
"I meant all of it," he snapped. "That's not what I was asking."
Aang straightened, an indignant look on his face.
"You don't always have to do that, you know! I was trying to let bygones be bygones."
"Well, that's not what I want. I don't want you to say you forgive me to be nice. I want you to actually forgive me."
"For what?" Aang asked irritably. "Aside from being so charming all the time."
Zuko rolled his eyes. Like he hadn't heard that one before. Before Aang and Sokka, there had been Lieutenant Jee, and even Mai could be surprisingly caustic when she wasn't blushing.
"No, really. I want to know," Aang said. His voice was calmer, although not really forgiving. "What is it that you think you did wrong? Trying to capture me?"
"No," Zuko said quickly. He winced as soon as he heard himself – voice rough and defensive, and entirely about the wrong thing. Yeah, that came out badly. Aang didn't seem particularly surprised, though, or angry. Zuko took a moment to think.
He wasn't sure he could take that back.
He still didn't even know what he thought about the war. Plans to end it seemed farfetched and not just because they were so outmatched. There were paintings still in the palace, of ladies in long, beautiful dresses and men in equally elaborate robes. Zuko hadn't once seen that growing up. Men and women wore their armor, their military uniforms. Useless courtiers were dismissed, playmates were chosen on fighting skill and marriage consideration was only given to the powerful, the dangerous.
Earlier, on the boat, he'd as much as confessed that he didn't believe in Aang or his cause. It was hard to even think of the war in those terms, either as unjust or as something that might end. He had seen the suffering in the Earth Kingdom, but even then a nagging voice told him that the Fire Nation would right that. Their duty in the world was to protect other countries, do for them what they clearly couldn't do for themselves, and he still struggled with the idea that maybe the other countries didn't want their help at all.
It was the Avatar the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes turned to instead. Aang was a good kid. He was smart and kind and far more cheerful than should be legal. But the Avatar was something else entirely. At the North Pole, Zuko had personally seen the Avatar wield terrible, devastating power. Worse, he had wielded it with arrogance and so little control that it was hard to see the good in it, particular not when turned against Zuko's own country.
"I never believed in the war," Zuko said after a long silence. "I didn't have to. It just was. Father promised he would conquer the entire world and that it would one day be mine to rule – before he banished me. Before he hated me."
"You once told me I wouldn't understand about fathers," Aang said. He shrugged a little when Zuko looked at him. "And I don't, not really. But that's why you can't be sorry, isn't it?"
Zuko clenched his jaw, nodding fractionally. As much as he could tell himself he hated his father, he still didn't regret it. If there was ever a chance his father would forgive him…
But there wasn't.
"Would you do it again?" Aang asked. He looked serious, lips pursed and gray eyes flickering with firelight. "If you knew your father would take you back, would you do it?"
Zuko hunched his shoulders, turning away a bit. That wasn't Aang's real question. He wasn't asking if Zuko had truly changed, if he was somehow over the need for his father's approval. He was asking for a choice, right here and right now. A promise, because Aang knew Zuko's honor would never allow him to break it.
He thought of Katara, bloody beneath his hands as he burned her to save her life. He thought of her cool hand against his face, giving him a new destiny.
"No," he said in a low rasp. "I wouldn't."
He couldn't do that to her.
Aang nodded slowly, satisfied. He sat back, leaning his hands on the stone of the temple, looking out across the island as he asked lightly, "So what was it you wanted forgiveness for?"
A part of Zuko knotted up, trying to prevent him from saying it. He gritted his teeth against the feeling. He was trying to move on, to accept the price of fire.
"For Katara," he said, more force than he originally intended behind the words. He looked over to Aang, taking in his surprise and forestalled the obvious protest forming on his lips. "Not for being with her. For burning her."
Aang deflated a bit.
"Oh."
For all that Zuko wasn't good with feelings, he wasn't oblivious. "Giving up" Katara had in no way meant that Aang stopped loving her. It meant he accepted his role as the Avatar and the stakes of the battle. Zuko could respect that, although he wasn't really interested in giving up Katara any time soon himself.
Aang shrugged a little awkwardly, reaching up to rub his palm over his head before abruptly remembering he wasn't bald.
"I don't know… isn't that something that should be between you and her?" Aang asked. "I mean, I know I burned her once, but that doesn't make me in charge of whether or not it's okay. And I don't hold it against you. You saved her life."
Zuko shook his head, feeling frustrated. He turned, fixing Aang with a serious look.
"It is between us. But it's also between you and me. I need you, Avatar Aang. You need to tell me…" he trailed off, feeling ridiculous. Why was he even asking Aang for advice here? He was just a kid.
But light dawned in Aang's eyes, and he sat up straighter.
"… to forgive yourself," Aang finished for him.
"Normally, I'd ask my ancestors, but they're all evil," Zuko said. He tried for levity, but it fell flat.
Zuko had memories of the spirit house in the palace gardens. It was tucked away into a small, private pavilion near the lotus pond where even servants were forbidden to enter. When his mother lived in the palace, she had been the one to care for the spirit house, oiling the varnished wood and clearing away old offerings. He remembered her boosting him up to light the incense on his own for the first time, praying for strength and wisdom from Great Grandfather.
After she'd left, he had little reason to think Great Grandfather cared enough to help, but Zuko had taken up her duties nonetheless. He remember lighting votive after votive, staring into Great Grandfather's piercing eyes as he asked for her to come home.
It was almost grimly satisfying to think that no one cared for the shrines and spirit houses now. Azula had never bothered and Zuko had only seen his father pray there once, shortly before Lu Ten's death.
He curled a fist up tight, holding back that memory as he took deep breath and forced himself to look to Aang. He was the Avatar. It was his place in the world to give spiritual guidance and if Zuko was going to do this, if he was giving up so much of his heritage, then he had nowhere else to turn.
"Zuko, you did what you had to," Aang said. "You can't beat yourself up for doing the right thing, even if it hurt someone. Remember what you were saying to me earlier? Fighting like I do is arrogant. Well, if it's arrogant to think I'll win, it's even more arrogant for you to think there's always something more you could do. That you could be perfect somehow.
"Sometimes bad stuff just happens. It's our responsibility to do what we can, but burdening ourselves with guilt for what can't be done is simple arrogance, not virtue."
He looked sincere as ever, calm expression undercut only a bit by how his nervous fingers worried at the hem of his knee-length trousers. It wasn't that he didn't believe the words he was saying; he was just new at this. Zuko pushed down his pride, trying to take Aang's words in stride. He'd asked for this. It didn't matter that he was new at it too.
"The monks always taught me that to assume responsibility for someone else is to destroy them and then yourself. To assume responsibility for yourself is to become fully aware of your own weakness, and strength can only come from that awareness." Aang trailed off for a moment, deep in thought. His hands had fallen to the stone again, giving up on pulling out the hem of his pants. He nodded to himself before refocusing on Zuko. "You can't take responsibility for what I did, or what Azula did, or even what Katara did. You shouldn't."
Zuko nodded at his words. It was one thing to hear that he could forgive himself and another thing entirely to actually do it, but he felt some of the tension ease along his back. He felt that same power of fire, pulsing with his heart. There was a calm moment where he closed his eyes – and reached out to take it. His guilt and anger didn't disappear, but they faded to the background. Part of him, but not part of his power.
When he opened his eyes, Aang was practically beaming at him.
"Wow, that was pretty good."
Zuko inclined his head stiffly in acknowledgement.
"You're a wise kid," he said. "Thanks."
"I'm really glad I could help. It gave me a chance to think, too," Aang said. "Hey! Maybe that worked so well because I am one of your ancestors."
Zuko frowned across at him.
"… no. That's probably not it."
"No, I bet it is!" Aang blinked at him, calming from his excitement. "Wait, don't you know? Roku said he's your great grandfather! So we're related! Sort of."
"I'm fairly sure Fire Lord Sozin was my great grandfather."
"Yeah, but so was Roku. I mean, you had four great grandfathers. Roku can totally be one of them."
Zuko fixed Aang with a glower. He didn't seem to get how royal families work.
"I have two great grandfathers. But I guess Roku could be the other one."
Aang squinted at him for a long moment before he just shrugged. He rolled to his feet, holding out a hand to Zuko. He ignored it, standing on his own and dusting himself off as he did. Well, his trousers anyway. There wasn't much hope for getting the soot and sweat of his bare chest until he had the chance to wash.
"Come on. You need to have some fun for once," Aang said. He tugged on Zuko's arm, pulling him back toward the party and Zuko sighed. Maybe fun could be part of the new Zuko.
Something nudged against Aang's side. Something pointy and toe-like. Aang groaned blearily, blinking up into the morning light. The Chief was haloed by sunlight, leaning over him with a demanding, fierce expression. He toed Aang in the side again.
"You will wake up, Avatar," he commanded.
"I will!" Aang replied. "I mean, I am! What is it?"
"Ominous signs on the horizon," the Chief intoned. "And a boat. It probably followed you here!"
Aang jerked himself upright, mind spinning. The Fire Nation had followed them here? But how? Monkeyfeathers, this was bad news. If the Fire Nation knew they were sailing undercover, then Hakoda's ship was in serious danger!
He was still on the top of the temple, having curled up next to the great sacred fire after the celebration, Zuko at his back. He cast a look over to the older boy, who was now waking up as well, a drawn and grim look already on his face.
"What kind of boat?" Zuko asked.
"Does it matter?" the Chief asked. "We are a hidden society. We live to protect the masters, Ran and Shao, and we will not be compromised!"
Aang shot Zuko a look. While they hadn't exactly gotten a warm welcome, he figured that was more to do with ruining a sacred ritual than anything else. Plus, there was that whole research station thing. He looked at the Chief in confusion.
"Unless it's archaeologists."
"Well, yes. Or students. We have quite a prestigious scholarship program. But that is not the point!" The Chief turned dramatically and guards fell into line behind him. "Come, I will show you!"
Aang groaned again, pointedly, as he followed the Chief down the many, many stairs of the temple. Man, what was it with the Sun Warriors and stairs? The Air Nomads had treated stairs the same way they treated gravity; with a knowing, winking grin that laughed at them for the joke they were. Actually walking up and down them was proving annoyingly strenuous.
Zuko did it without complaint, though. Aang cast him a sidelong look as they walked down into the jungle. He was starting to think they were a bit like Tui and La – if the comparison made any sense at all without fish or the moon. But they did push and pull at each other, and as tumultuous as that could be, Aang was starting to see the upside to that. Zuko was too serious about everything, but sometimes Aang needed that. He was still learning how to deal with actually being the Avatar, rather than merely fighting a war, and Aang could already sense that Zuko's serious-mindedness would be a great help in that. But at the same time, Zuko was ridiculously humorless. He needed to lighten up. Not just because it drove Aang crazy– it was clearly damaging to his own chi and bending. Left to his own devices, Zuko might well fall again into sullenness and self-loathing, twisting his firebending all out of shape again. Aang was determined not to let that happen to him.
Aang felt startled by the fierceness of his feelings on that subject, but their discussion the night before had had quite an impact on him. They weren't quite friends, but he and Zuko were certainly more than allies now. He felt responsible for Zuko, for his spirit, just as he knew Zuko felt responsible for Aang as a student.
After a long and sweaty slog through the jungle in the humid mid-morning heat, they came to the beachhead. Wreckage from their own capsized boat littered the beach. While the boat was likely at the bottom of the sea, seeding a new reef, quite a lot of their supplies had washed ashore. There were fragments of pots and wooden cargo boxes, as well as wet lumps of paper. Their maps. Aang furrowed his brow, tipping up on his toes a bit as he tried to make out exactly what else had washed up. And there! Right there, smack in the middle of the wooden debris was the book. With glee, he dashed over, breeze rippling in his wake.
"Zuko!" he crowed triumphantly, holding up "Apple-pears to Zebra-bears" and even the Zuko couldn't hide his smile.
"Guess this trip wasn't a complete loss," he said, tone as neutral as he could get it, but he wasn't fooling Aang at all. He was happy. Zuko lifted his chin, looking over Aang's shoulder. "For either of us."
Confused, Aang turned. He shaded his eyes with the book, searching through the scattered wreckage. There was a lot of wood. Sticks and twigs from the nearby trees, drift wood that looked too old to be theirs, and shattered crates – but amid that boring, stupid old wood, there was also something much more valuable. Aang lit up as his eyes caught on a particular, slender piece. His glider. He ran over and picked it up, sandbending some of the clingier bits of the beach off of it. Happily, he ran his fingers over the familiar whorls and knots of the resin-varnished wood.
"I know that staff means a lot to you," Zuko said quietly. He stepped to Aang's side, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you've got it back."
Aang nodded. He held his breath, backing away for a quick moment. He was glad to have it, that one Air Nomad relic that was still his, but he still needed to test it. Snapping his wrist, he unfurled the glider.
Great tears rent the red wing apart, edges still wet, and several of the spokes the wing was drawn across had splintered under the force of the waves.
He exhaled, letting go of his hope and his disappointment both.
Zuko gave him an awkward, apologetic look; Aang shook his head, snapping the glider closed again. It felt good to have it back in his hand.
"It's not lost," he assured Zuko. "Broken isn't the same as lost."
And perhaps because Zuko was so accustomed to General Iroh's aphorisms, he nodded solemnly, a contemplative look in his eyes. Aang hadn't entirely meant a double meaning there, but maybe he was a lot wiser than he thought. He brightened at the idea. He was finally getting the hang of the spiritual leader stuff.
"You may needs that weapon, Avatar," the Sun Warrior Chief intoned. Aang startled and whipped around to look at him. He'd almost forgotten the guy was even there. The Chief raised his hand, pointing out to the horizon. "I do not think our visitors are here to do research."
Aang followed his line of vision, squinting into the reflective sea. The boat was far closer than it'd been when he and Zuko first sighted it just days before, but it was unmistakably the same. The pirates. Or, well, so he'd thought at the time.
He angled his head, speaking from the side of his mouth. Very sneaky, he thought.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"It's a Mark Two," Zuko said in a tight, controlled voice. "They were decommissioned ten years ago. Never went into civilian use as merchant vessels. There is no way that is either Fire Navy or merchants."
"Boat enthusiasts?" Zuko leveled a glower at him and Aang sealed his lips shut, not at all smiling. Nope.
"What do you want us to do?" Zuko asked of the Chief.
The Sun Warrior Chief rubbed his large hand across his chin, miraculously not smudging any of his face paint.
"The secret of the dragons cannot leave this island. Not as long as the Fire Nation still makes war against them and the world. Your uncle, he has helped us to keep this secret for many years now. Are you prepared to do the same?" the Chief asked. Zuko's eyes went wide at the mention of General Iroh and he nodded without another thought. "Good. You must sink that ship."
"What?" Aang blurted. He waved the staff between Zuko and the Chief, trying to break through the intent staring match between them. "Maybe you didn't hear me. I mean what?"
"They are pirates. They cannot trespass in these sacred waters."
"Yeah, but killing them? That's kinda a big leap."
"He's right," Zuko said. Aang looked at him in surprise; Zuko looked as unsettled as Aang felt, face ashen even under his usual pallor. "We can just find a way to make them leave."
Aang blinked rapidly. Zuko meant he was right, not the Chief. Wow.
"Very well. But you must make certain they will have no reason to return. You must leave as well. The Avatar and the Fire Prince are not easily missed and soon enough others will follow your trail here," the Chief said.
"I understand," Zuko said. He gave a half bow, keeping his eyes to the ground as he humbly said, "It has been an honor learning from the masters."
"I'm very grateful for their wisdom," Aang said, following suit. "And glad they didn't eat us."
The Chief raised his eyebrows at them.
"There is yet time for that. How do you think you are going home?"
A great snort sounded. Right in the water, curled around a particularly large, half submerged piece of wreckage with an expression Aang could only describe as smug, was the red dragon. Zuko lit up immediately, going to stroke her snout.
A/N: I tried mapping out just how incestuous Zuko's family would have to be to if he had only two great grandfathers. It's pretty bad, although plenty of real world royal families have done worse. Spirit houses are drawn from Thai tradition. Aang is drinking hot chocolate, just to be clear. And hey, only two chapters to go! I'm sure I'll have them out... sometime... this year.