A/N: I tried to finish this sooner, but I didn't…
I fail at life…. No.. really I do….

Primus stood before maybe one of the most annoying Autobots, at least to her. The two were in a staring contest, and neither wanted to look away. Primus tried to send anger through her optics, but the bot before her just returned a blank stare. She then decided to get into the bots faceplates. Prowl leaned his helm away from her.

"Will you please refrain from putting your faceplates so close to mine?"

"No." Primus stated bluntly.

Prowl seemed to hesitate before asking, "Why?"

"You annoy me to no end, and I want to know why."

"Optimus, I believe the best course of action would be to lock them both in the brig. We have the Allspark, and I do not see why they would need it. It is possible they could be working for Megatron."

"HA! He is currently in an empty energon cube. Well, his spark is at least." Primus laughed.

All heads turned to Unicron. He lifted his servos up in surrender. "It wasn't me. It was all her!" He quickly pointed a digit to Primus.

"HE TRIED TO KILL ME! I was not going to sit there, and let him think he was high and mighty! He is what a human would call a 'Jackass'!"

Optimus stared at the two. "Is Megatron offline?"

Primus glanced to the towering mech. "Pit no. He is one of my children. Just like you guys are. I would not kill my children. Those poor Decepticon drones not included."

"I see." Optimus nodded.

"Now," Primus began, "What do you want in exchange for the Allspark?"

Optimus angled his head to Prowl. Prowl in turn handed Optimus a data pad. "All of this."

Primus grabbed the data pad a started reading it aloud. "A way to convert human resources into Cybertronian metals. What, do I look like some kind of god?" The other mechs just looked at her. "Touche`. Better weaponry. Understandable. Energon. What? Do you guys want me to cut my wrists or something?"

Prowl looked over to her. "I'm afraid I do not understand."

Primus rolled her optics. "Energon is said to be the blood of primus, which it actually is. Did you really think I just poof some of that stuff into exsistance?"

Prowl frowned. "You and Unicron eat energon candy right?"

Unicron raised an optic ridge. "yes?"

"Wouldn't that mean that you two are actually eating the 'blood' of Primus. And if that was the case wouldn't that make all cybertronians cannibals?"

Primus just stood there. She had never thought of that. She ate her own blood. Every Cybertronian in existence consumed her blood. "I… do not have an answer for that…"

Unicron started laughing. "HAHAHA! HE'S RIGHT!"

Optimus stared at his second in command. He would have expected an observation like that from Jazz, but not Prowl. "Prowl, are you feeling well?"

Prowl looked over to Optimus. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Primus looked at Prowl up and down. "Is the prim and proper accent hard for you do?"

Prowl chuckled. "Wonderin' when somebot was gonna figure it out!"

"It is very impolite to be pretending to be another bot in front of Primus." Primus mumbled and crossed her arms.

Prowls image began to shimmer and then disappear only to be replaced by Jazz. "Heh. Guess it is."

Unicron was still laughing, and by this point was laying on the ground. "I'm never eating energon candies again!"

"Fine. I'll make everything on the list except the energon. Got it?" Primus looked over the crowd of bots.

Optimus nodded. "Deal."

Primus smiled. "Now let me see the Allspark."

Jazz shrugged, and walked to the back of Prime's office, and opened a cupboard. He pulled out a small silver box with two slots in the top.

"This is what the Allspark has been reduced to?" Primus looked over the tiny box. "A toaster!"

Unicron who had just recovered from his previous laughing fit began all over again.

"It was found in a department store in the middle of Manhattan." Optimus confirmed, nodding to Jazz to put the small box away. Jazz happily complied, and skipped away.

Unicron finally calmed down. "Well, at least it wasn't inside a squishy."

"That wasn't the Allspark! I would much rather it be in a squishy!"

"Come on! You gotta calm down Pri Pri! You know good and well that was the Allspark."

Primus frowned. "It's true it had Allspark energy in it, but that is not the Allspark. It is too small. There is no way a human object such as that could Possibly hold the immense energy of the Allspark . Just no way."

Unicron narrowed his optics, and Sighed. "I guess that would be right, huh? It wouldn't be this easy for us to find the Allspark."

"Are you two saying that the human object was not the Allspark?" Optimus examined.

"Are you a four story Autonomous Robotic Being from the Planet Cybertron?"

Optimus sighed. "I see."

"Does this mean we are going back to the Decepticons?" Unicron moaned.

Optimus looked up worriedly. "No, we are staying right here." Primus nodded. "I suppose our old room is open still."

"Of course."

Primus smiled and walked out of the room, Unicron following closely behind. "What are you going to do when the Decepticons try to get Megatron out of the Energon cube?"

Primus smiled. "Oh don't worry. I left a little note."

Knock Out, Starscream, and Soundwave were huddled in front of a data pad. Knock Out looked from the data pad back to his Lord Megatron. "Ohhh, This femme is not only beautiful, but dangerous too. I like it" He purred.

Knock Out abruptly got hit in the back of the helm by Starscream. "That femme is Primus. Watch what you do. You could end up like that."

"Think she'd frag me first?"

Another abrupt slap. "Just read the note."

Knock Out cleared his vocal processor, and began reading. "Dearest Decepticons…"

Dearest Decepticons,

How are you? More specifically, how is your LORD Megatron? I just wanted to tell you, if you try to take him out of that cube he might die! Yes, Starscream, you may try, so long as you take proper care of the decepticons afterwards. By that I mean don't get yourself killed by Soundwave right after you just killed Megatron. That would completely and totally a failure. I hate failures. Oh, and Knock Out, Please delete those pictures of my aft. I am technically your creator, and that would be kind of weird.

Love,

Primus :D