Author's Notes: I'm going to have to up the rating because of this chapter. Sorry guys, I don't know where this came from and yes I'm fully aware of what this will do to Angel and Collins. Don't worry I know what I'm doing. I just am visiting a lot of old memories (from myself and dear friends) and have to spill them out. Bear with me.

Once again I DO NOT OWN RENT.

PLEASE READ, REVIEW AND ENJOY!

Italics are thoughts and memories.

Chapter Sixteen

With Angel, Mimi, Mark, Roger

As the four friends walked out of the hospital, Angel stopped and turned around to look at the hospital.

"I don't ever want to be back at this fucking place unless I have to."

The others turned around. Mimi walked up to her best friend, gently placing her hand on his arm. "Don't worry baby, you won't."

Angel held the clothes that he was wearing when he got into the hospital in his hand. He looked down at them and back at the hospital. "Come on guys, let's go!" He said, back to normal. "I need to get my man!"

After taking the subway and walking a few blocks they reached the loft.

Angel stopped outside the loft. Mark noticed Angel had stopped and looked at her. "Angel, you coming?"

The street drummer nodded. "No, I'm going home. I need to see my Tom."

Roger looked a little concerned. "You sure you feel alright to walk by yourself?"

Angel chuckled. "Come on Davis, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." Angel quickly hugged all three and set out to go home.

Oh God I can't wait until I'm in some heels again, these shoes are not cutting it.

Thank goodness their apartment wasn't to far away; Roger's sneakers were beginning to become a problem. Angel looked at their building.

I'm coming lover.

With Collins

Collins couldn't sleep; all he could think of was Angel. He laid there in bed not wanting to see a soul, hoping that Mimi had went to get Angel. He hated to not have been there to take him home, but he was just way to full of emotions to handle even the slightest task. After talking to Maureen the way he did, he knew he would have some explaining to do if he ever went back to the loft.

The silence of his thoughts was broken when there came a knock on the door. The professor turned towards the sound, he didn't want to talk to anyone right now. He yelled at the top of his lungs. "GO AWAY! ANGEL'S NOT HERE!"

Angel gave a look. He better not be talking to my girls like that when they come to visit. Thomas B. Collins has gone crazy.

Angel knocked again, with a little more force. Should have asked Mimi to get me my key.

The professor yelled. "FUCK OFF!"

Oh hell no!

"Tom, open the door!"

Collins laid in the bed, still. Angel? He slowly got out of bed and walked toward the door.

"Tom, it's me open the door!"

"Angel!" He opened the door even quicker now.

The two stared at one another, not knowing what to say at first.

"Hi." Collins looked down forlornly.

"Hi honey." Angel cupped his face with his free hand. "Lover, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I, I wanted to say how sorry I was for saying what I said. For leaving you. You know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I just didn't know how to react when you said that you were still in love with David, I'm just so sorry baby. I don't know what I would do without you."

Angel took all of his words in. "I love you too. I'm sorry too; I didn't realize that he was still fresh in my mind. But I promise that I will do better by you and forget him."

It was true, the two needed some work.

Collins slightly came back to normal when Angel told him that he loved him. "Come on girl, get out of the stairway."

Angel smiled sweetly and came into the apartment. He laid his clothes on the arm of the couch. "Honey, I want us to talk." The street drummer patted the seat next to him. Collins obliged and sat down. Angel grabbed his hands and looked deep into his eyes.

"Tom, I love you. I have never loved anyone like you, but you darling you have to understand David was my first love. It was with him that I first came out of the closet, I told him everything. I poured my heart out to him. I know that this is hard to come to grips with, but please know that no one will ever replace you in my heart."

Tears began to flow freely from Collins' eyes. "Ang, I just don't want to share your heart with anyone. I know you have such a big heart for everyone, but in this case I don't want there to be another I just can't bare it."

Angel looked down at their hands. "I understand."

"You said that David died a few years ago."

"He did."

"Then why do you still love him?"

Angel began to tense up, sensing an argument arising. "Tom, I told you that I didn't know why. He just all of a sudden started coming up."

"Well you know, I've got David's brother ex boyfriend coming up here talking about David, I've got you still in love with him. I just can't take this shit anymore!" The professor got up in rage, angrily pacing back and forth.

Angel sat there quietly, realizing how upset he was. "Tom, sit down and talk to me."

"No Angel I love you, I love you! He didn't Angel."

Tears came out of Angel's eyes as well. "I know he didn't Tom. Aaron came by?"

"Yeah talking about how he has David's shit and wants to give it to you!"

"Why would he want to get David's things to me? Didn't Danny keep them?"

Collins continued to pace, extremely angry. "Something about some lost love letter to you, I don't fucking know!"

"Tom honey, come here."

Collins felt like a child, like a helpless little child. It took everything he had not to fall into Angel's arms and cry. "No Angel. Do you want David or do you want me?"

"Listen to yourself my love, that doesn't make sense. You know I want and love you."

"No you don't only love me, you love David."

Angel looked down, beaten. "I do still have feelings for him, only because there were so many things that I want answered but I'll never be able to get those answers."

The letter.

Collins' voice picked up, he called out to no one in general. "WHY DOES EVERYONE IN MY FUCKING LIFE HAVE TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!"

Angel started to get scared. "Tom, listen to me I do lo-"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

The street drummer got up. "Stop telling me who I love and who I don't love Tom!"

Collins quickly walked up to Angel so that they were face to face. "Why don't you feel sorry for loving someone else when you're clearly with me? How can you possibly love someone else when you said that I and only I fill you heart?"

Angel held his ground. "Tom, get out of my face."

"You don't like it that I'm in your face Angel? WELL THAT'S HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE THAT ASSHOLE!"

Angel pushed Collins. "I said GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

Collins looked at Angel, surprised that he pushed him. The rage was full on, the professor walked up to Angel so that he was in his face again. "Angel, don't push me."

Angel's breathing began to get shallow. "Tom, get out of my fucking face."

Tears streamed down the professor's dark cheeks. "Oh I thought you liked it like that Angel. I thought you loved how I'm always in your face. Always kissing you…Always touching you…ALWAYS TELLING YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU!"

With that Angel slapped Collins.

Silence filled the room as the lovers stared at one another angrily. Angel began to cry realizing that he had slapped Collins. He put his hand over his mouth trying to cover his sobs. The street drummer began to talk toward the bedroom, but Collins grabbed his free wrist. "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!"

Angel shouted. "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK RIGHT NOW TOM!"

Collins forcefully pulled Angel toward him. "COME HERE!"

Angel pushed back, trying to get free from the professor. "FUCK OFF TOM!"

Collins was holding Angel so tightly Angel winced each time Collins' grip got together. "TOM YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

"I'M SURE YOUR WRIST DOESN'T EVEN COMPARE TO WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW!"

Angel slapped Collins again. "I SAID FUCK OFF!"

Out of instinct Collins grabbed both of Angel's shoulders and pushed him against the door. Angel grabbed his back in extreme pain, having had a doorknob go straight into his lower back. The street drummer yelped in pain. "OW!"

Collins' breath became heavier and heavier. He had just hurt Angel, what was wrong with him? Before he could muster up the courage to answer that question, Angel lunged at him with all of his might slapping and scratching the older man. He screamed at him. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" Collins fought back pinning Angel to the couch. Being the stronger man he would never hit Angel because he knew that he would knock him out. But if Collins didn't do something Angel's was going to completely maul his face. Collins grabbed the petite man by the neck and began to choke him. As Angel continued to scream and scratch him, Collins yelled. "STOP FUCKING SCRATCHING ME ANGEL!"

The street drummer let go of Collins arms and gave the impression that he was giving up. As soon as Collins began to get up, Angel lunged at him again. Collins had had it and was through with Angel at this point. As if it was in slow motion, Collins could see himself lifting his right hand in the air. He had no control over what was happening and saw himself slap Angel hard on his left cheek. Angel fell to the floor with such a force, yelping in the process. Immediately, Angel's head began to hurt and he fell in and out of consciousness. Even though he was clearly about to black out, he went up for Collins once more with the last ounce of strength. Collins grabbed Angel once more making him lean over the couch with his back to him. The professor held Angel close to him, unbuckling his jeans.

Angel still was blacking out but registered what was happened. He no longer had energy to scream anymore and whispered. "Tom, what are you doing?"

Blood trickled from Collins' wounds as tears began to fall down his face. "I love you."

Angel still fought consciousness, but began to cry. "Tom, wait I'm sorry okay? I am."

Collins dropped Angel's jeans to the floor. He had completely gone delirious.

"I am too."

Collins had dropped his own pants to the floor and kissed Angel gently on the neck. Angel closed his eyes, crying silently. "Tom, you don't have to do this."

"I want you."

"Tom please…Tom…listen to me."

1 Hour Later

Angel awoke in his own bed. He grabbed his head, it was still pounding. What happened? All he could remember was how horrible his fight with Collins was. As he got up, he felt pain.

Oh my God.

Angel knew what had happened and began to cry heavily. Had he driven Collins to the point that he had to rape him? Angel felt the entire ordeal on his shoulders. If he hadn't of mentioned David, not of this would have happened. As selfless as ever Angel slowly got out of bed and walked to put on a pair of pajama pants and a small white t-shirt. As he walked out of the room, he spotted Collins on the floor of the living room in tears and blood. Angel had scratched him so badly. The street drummer saw the mess of a man Collins had become, and ever the Angel, walked over to him.

"Lover."

Collins looked up tears falling even more at the sight of Angel.

Angel went to the floor to get into eye level with the distraught professor. "Lover, talk to me."

All Collins could mutter was "I hurt you."

Angel looked away trying to stifle the tears. "I'm fine baby, nothing that normally doesn't hurt." He tried to laugh lightly. "How are you?"

"I hurt you so badly."

Angel held his face in his hands. "Honey, you didn't hurt me."

"Stop covering up for me Angel, I did hurt you."

Angel could tell that Collins was in no mood to talk too much about things. So he climbed into Collins' lap and wrapped his huge arms around him.

Collins sobbed into Angel back. "I'm so sorry Angel. I am so sorry!"

"I know my love." Angel just stared blankly into the living room.

The two stayed there in each other's arms, trying to make sense of what just happened.