That was only two months ago, that happiness, that feeling of being a teenager all over again. Two fucking months ago. Two months before he'd lose her, two months before he'd lose everything, two months before he's been dead. Now he was standing in the middle of his living room, the one that's been scene of so many encounters with her, the same one he got the worst news of his life.
"Why'd you have to go?" He asked, staring at the picture he'd found a couple days ago. "I loved you," He said while running his fingertips on the picture. "I still do." He sat on the couch and closed his eyes briefly. "I'll always love you." He whispered for the last time before falling into slumber.
"Hey you're home!" She said happily, walking over to the couch and sitting on his lap. "How was your day?" She asked, running her hand trough his hair.
"It was okay," He said, leaning his head on her shoulder. "I'm pretty tired, but it was great." He said with a small, weak smile. She frowned softly and kissed his head. "How about you?" He asked, looking up just to talk, and putting his head back on her shoulder.
"Well, it was fine." She said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I got to interview today." She said with a big smile, Kendall sat straight on the couch and wrapped both his arms around her waist.
"Lily that's great!" He said excitedly. She bowed softly. "Who did you interview?" He asked and she bit her lips with a smile.
"Guess!" Lily smiled even wider.
" Who?" He asked again with a confused grin on his face.
" Nicholas Sparks. I interviewed fucking Nicholas Sparks." She said almost bursting in joy. "Like, can you process this, I got to interview THE Nicholas Sparks, my life is made I'm not even kidding." She dropped herself to the couch and he laughed, kneeling between her legs and leaning his face close to hers.
" That is so amazing, I'm proud of you baby girl." He said, kissing her softly. Lily's smile broke the kiss.
"I'm just so lucky!" She said, walking her fingertips up and down his shirt. He scrunched his face with a smile. "I have my dream job, I've reached my goals, and I have the best boyfriend in the whole world." She smiled and he blushed softly.
"What a coincidence. I have the best girlfriend in the world, we should double date." He joked and she laughed kissing him sweetly.
"Yeah," She said looking away. "Do you want to eat something?" She asked looking into his eyes. He shrugged.
"I... yeah." He said, getting up and taking her hand. "I could use some food right now." He said with a smile, she chuckled and got up, stopping face first in his shirt, he giggled and she did too, then all of a sudden he pulled his iPod out of his pocket and gave her an ear bud, taking the other, she smiled and leaned her head on his chest. Don't Watch Me Dancing started playing, Lily's shown him this song a few weeks before and he loved it.
They both started swaying softly to the beat, whispering sweet things in the others ears, they danced a few more songs and went to the kitchen.
"You know," She said while looking into the fridge to find something to eat. "Today I read something about doing the things you want now, because you might not be able to do it tomorrow." She looked at him and smiled. "I don't know, I just got this stuck on my head now. I liked it." She commented and went back to cooking.
"Yeah?" He asked, she replied with a 'yeah' and Kendall got up, wrapping his hands on her waist and kissing her neck. "Maybe I should do this then." He said while lifting her shirt.
"Don't you dare. You're gonna make me burn the food Kendall." She warned. He continued on kissing her neck.
"I'm not hungry anymore." He mumbled.
Kendall opened his eyes scared, these memories were so real to him, he didn't want to remember anymore, as much as he tried, he couldn't move on. He just couldn't, Kendall was so lost in thought he didn't hear his phone warning a new message, but the loud knock on the door snapped him out.
"Hey bro." Logan spoke as Kendall opened the door.
"Hey, what's up man?" Kendall asked rubbing his eyes. He didn't want to sound wrong, but he didn't want to see anybody now. "What are you doing here?"
"I was just wandering around and," Logan said before a small pause. "I stopped by to check on you and to tell you that me and the guys are gonna go out today, wanna come?" Logan asked. Kendall out of all people knew how much his friends were trying to cheer him up, he knew it, he was trying but he couldn't.
"I don't know man," Kendall said while getting up and getting a bottle of water. "I'm kinda tired." He lied.
"No you're not Kendall." Logan said annoyed. "Look I miss her too okay, we all do but please," Kendall heard him sigh deeply. "Please come with us, no one here can see you like that anymore, it's killing us." Logan spilled, he didn't want it to come out that roughly. But he couldn't help. Kendall was also scared, he's never imagine his own friend would say that to him.
"It's killing me too Logan, do you think it's easy for me to wake up to a empty, cold bed every single morning, and worse, knowing she won't come back." Kendall breathed. "She'll never come back." He said and closed his eyes, the next words Logan said were like a bullet straight in his head.
"She's dead Kendall. I don't like it either, but she is, you have to move on. She'd want you to do it." Logan placed his hand on Kendall's shoulder. "I know you love her, and I know she loves you, wherever she is. I'm sure she's looking down at you right now, and she wants you to move on with your life, you can't stay like this forever." Logan whispered and Kendall looked down sadly.
"I miss her so much," Kendall breathed, just loud enough for Logan to hear. "This is so unfair." He said, Logan pulled him into a tight hug.
"I know, I know. No one should go trough what she did," Logan said, just then Kendall wrists came in sight and he saw an red, angry scar across the pale skin. "What's this?" He asked with a serious expression. Kendall tried to hide but Logan kept a firm grip on his arm.
"Nothing," Kendall said.
"Kendall." Logan said. "Why are you doing this?" He asked and Kendall scoffed.
"Why am I doing this?" He said getting up with a fake chuckle. "Well I don't know if you've heard but my girlfriend's dead and I can't do nothing about it, maybe that's the reason why I'm doing this Logan." Kendall yelled and Logan got up hugging him, that's all Kendall needed, a hug, someone saying it was okay, but he didn't want to hear this from Logan, he wanted Lily to burst into the door and hug him, and kiss him and tell him it was okay.
They stayed a few minutes like that, Kendall couldn't hold back anymore, so he just cried, he knew that out of all people, Logan would be the last one on earth who would deny him that, who would deny his shoulder to be cried on. After all, Logan was his best friend, it was his job.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you like that." Kendall said apologetic.
"It's cool man, you have to let it out." Logan said with a small smile, "But if you want to apologize, you're gonna go out with us tonight. Just the guys out, having fun." Logan said, Kendall shrugged, knowing it was stupid to argue with Logan when it came to parties.
"Okay, but I don't want to be a party pooper." Kendall said, Logan shook his head.
"You won't be, I promise."