Heaps of cookies and thanks to beta Suilven, who not only reviewed this chapter once, but then for a second time when I started to get cold feet about some of it. Thank you so much!

As dawn approached, the darkness of the small window began to reveal orange streaks on the distant horizon. The impending sunrise barely registered to Lhiannon as she sat in a chair staring through the glass and into the darkness beyond, her thoughts little more than a droning buzz in her head. A book lay in her lap, still open to the first page as it had been hours before when she had finally given up on the hopes of falling asleep. The oil in the lantern next to her was nearly exhausted, causing the flame to begin wavering slightly.

Anders was gone.

Her eyes burned, but the tears would no longer come. Her emotions fluctuated wildly between crushing loss and overwhelming anger at her friend. But is he really my friend? Would a friend leave me like this? Did he even think about the consequences of his actions?

Since Anders had been discovered missing the day before, the templars had severely curtailed the comings and goings of the apprentices. Groups of young mages were being herded to class by the templars, who stood guard both inside and outside the classrooms and libraries while other templars searched the tower for evidence. Stairways and hallways were being closely monitored and none of the apprentices were being allowed outside designated areas without a Harrowed mage as an escort. However, even the Harrowed mages had seen their freedoms all but revoked as well. The Knight-Commander had been—and continued to be—vigilant in his search for Anders and any that may have aided him.

Lhiannon had not been surprised to see that she was being followed and closely watched by the templars. While some had kept what she thought was a respectable distance, others hovered over her as if trying to intimidate her. They had to be watching for some sort of deceit or other suspicious activites from her, likely not taking any chances with her story.

She was too numb to care.

A hand softly touched Lhiannon's shoulder, causing her to suddenly jerk her head around, her eyes wide and her mouth an 'O' of surprise. The hand's owner, Tallia, took a startled step backward. "By the ancestors, Lhi. Didn't you hear me call your name?"

"What?"

"Your name? It is Lhiannon, isn't it?"

"Oh," Lhiannon said, averting her eyes and turning away. She resumed staring at nothing outside the window. "Sorry."

Tallia was understandably concerned about her friend's state of mind, but waved off the apology. "Come on, Lhi. We need to get ready for class. You know what Enchanter Wynne is like when students are late."

"I'm not going."

Tallia paused as she opened the door to the small wardrobe that they shared. Her brow wrinkled noticeably. "What do you mean you're not going?"

With a small shrug, Lhiannon continued. "I'm not going. I can't sit there while the other apprentices stare at me, pointing and whispering. I can't sit there while the templars glare at me and watch for signs of guilt. I won't do it…" Her voice drifted off and when she spoke again, Tallia could hear a sight wavering within it. "I can't do it."

Closing the door to the wardrobe, Tallia moved to stand next to Lhiannon, her arms crossed over her slight frame and her gaze disapproving. "Lhiannon, you have to go to class. Don't you see?"

Lhiannon turned to look directly at Tallia, her look hard and jaw clenched. Her voice was firm when she spoke. "What part of 'I'm not going' did you not understand, Tallia? I'm. Not. Going."

Tallia sighed irritably and watched as Lhiannon turned toward the window once more, making no move to leave her chair and her contemplation of the landscape outside. Lhiannon was understandably upset; Tallia did not blame her for that. She missed Anders too, but Lhiannon was far closer to the young man than she was, so of course she would feel his loss more deeply. Still, Lhiannon needed to get back to a normal routine, if for nothing else but to take the focus of the templars and other mages off of her and focused onto other matters.

"Lhi, look; if you want to cry, or scream, or mope, you can do it here with me. But you have to go to class." She reached out, putting a hand on Lhiannon's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "You don't want the other mages or the templars to stare at you? Don't give them a reason to. Avoiding everyone will only make them look at you even more. It's bad for you and it's bad for the rest of us."

Lhiannon turned to look at Tallia, her expression moving from blank to confused. Tallia sighed to herself. Finally! A real reaction. She continued, hoping to capitalize on her opportunity now that Lhiannon was really listening."You want to show the templars and mages that you had nothing to do with helping Anders escape? Then go about your life like any other day and throw it back into everyone's faces. If you change your routine too drastically, it will scream 'guilty.' Not only that, but the other mages could start to blame you along with Anders if the templars' crackdown continues more than a couple of days. You don't want that, do you?"

"They would blame me?"

"Maybe," Tallia said, shrugging slightly. "Probably, if the crackdown gets worse. Show them that you were telling the truth. I believe you; now you have to make them believe it too."

"But how? How am I just supposed to go on like nothing happened?"

"You just do," Tallia said. "You get dressed, you go to class, and you go through the day just like you always have. Take it one step at a time if you have to."

Lhiannon gave a deep sigh, her gaze dropping into her lap. Strands of her mussed hair fell forward, obscuring her face for a moment before she reached up and brushed them away. She did not want the other mages to put any blame on her for their curtailed freedoms and curfew. She did not want the templars to keep staring at her, watching her for signs of guilt. She did not want to be the object of scrutiny, or scorn, or curiosity, or doubt. She just wanted life to get back to normal.

Or as normal as it could get with Anders gone and the enormous void he left behind.

"All right," Lhiannon said, her voice tinged with resignation. "I guess you're right. I just don't want to do this."

Tallia smiled. "I know you don't, but we have to do lots of things we don't want to do." She bent forward to give Lhiannon a tight hug as she sat in the chair and smiled when her arms reached up to return the embrace. They remained that way for a moment, one giving comfort while the other received it. "Do you think Anders will be okay?"

Tallia felt Lhianon's breath hitch slightly and heard her friend sniffle twice before answering. "I hope so. The templars won't be kind to him if they find him."

Pulling away, Tallia looked Lhiannon in the eye. Her gaze had gone distant once more, her face bland as she contemplated Anders' situation. "Do you... do you think Anders will resist if they find him?"

Lhiannon snorted, a small humorless laugh escaping her lips. "Does the First Enchanter wear robes? If Anders does try to resist…" her voice drifted off, not wanting to finish the thought.

Classes that day had been nearly unbearable. Lhiannon had found herself terribly distracted and had only caught parts of the lectures. She had been called on several times when the instructors had believed she was not paying attention, missing some of the answers and earning snickers from her classmates. As much as she had tried to pay attention, it had been difficult.

After classes had concluded for the day, the endless questions had come again. Where did Anders go? How did he escape? What did the First Enchanter and the bucket heads say? Did you kiss him goodbye and play 'hide the sausage'?

The templars had kept their questions to a minimum during the day, mostly asking where she was going or if she had 'remembered anything new.' While she had tried not to let their questions or looming presence bother her, they still did. Having to explain her innocence over and over was becoming more and more wearisome with every passing moment.

Her mentor, Sari, had taken Lhiannon to one of the libraries as she was conducting research for an upcoming trip to Orzammar. While the templars stationed just inside the library had given Lhiannon a cautious look, Sari had explained their presence and had assured the templars that she would supervise Lhiannon while they were there.

"Thanks, Enchanter Sari," Lhiannon had said once they had drawn away from the templars and into the library itself. "I didn't want to spend the night being bombarded with questions from the other mages."

Sari nodded knowingly. She had asked Lhiannon point blank the day before if she had aided Anders in some way. The tone she had used with Lhiannon was firm and demanding, telling Lhiannon in no uncertain terms that deceit would not be tolerated. Lhiannon reiterated the story she had told to the First Enchanter and Knight Commander, not omitting any details. Sari had watched her knowingly, her gaze boring into Lhiannon to the point where she had fought to keep from fidgeting nervously. After a long and somewhat uncomfortable moment of intense scrutiny, Sari had nodded at Lhiannon, satisfied with the story. Nothing further had been mentioned.

"Lhiannon, I'll be over in the geographical section," Sari said, motioning toward a section of high shelves near one of the curving walls. "I'll come check in with you once I find what I'm looking for."

"Okay."

Lhiannon watched her mentor move off and disappear between the shelves. Turning her head, she saw the small plaque on the end of the row of books next to her; she was in the School of Spirit section. Shrugging slightly, Lhiannon began to walk down the aisle, running a finger along the spines of the tomes as she moved. After a moment she pulled her finger away and looked at it; no dust, not a speck to be found along the shelves or the books themselves. Between misbehaving mages serving punishments and the fastidiousness of the librarians and Tranquil assistants, dust was a foreign concept within the libraries.

Lhiannon looked closely at the tome she had stopped at, an eyebrow rising in curiosity as she noted the title carefully written on the spine: Spirit Healers Through the Ages. Curious, she pulled the book from the shelf, its weight surprisingly hefty in her hand. She opened the front cover, looking inside. This was a book she had not read before, and judging by the last date noted on the lending card, it had spent some time on the shelf, seemingly untouched. Turning back toward the end of the asile, Lhiannon moved toward a section of small tables near the wall. Thankfully, the library was sparsely populated, so she had her pick of tables to sit at, well away from the prying eyes and endless questions of other mages.

The book had a faint musty smell as she opened it, the odor wafting through the air as she turned the yellowing pages. She sneezed, grimacing slightly at the smell as it filled her nose. No wonder this book hasn't been borrowed in ages; you need a healer just to read it!

As she continued flipping through the pages, something near the back of the book caught her eye. It appeared to be ink of a brighter, newer quality than that used in the book itself. She thumbed through the book quickly, searching for that quick blot of color that had caught her eye in the first place. After a moment of searching—and more sneezing—she found what she was looking for. It was ink, the ink that the apprentices and mages used for taking notes or writing letters and such. Her eyes widened at the sight of the familiar scrawl on the page. There were rudimentary drawings of templars with oversized helmets… being eaten by what appeared to be a tiger with the name 'Ser Pounce-a-Lot' scrawled beneath it.

Tears began to well in Lhiannon's eyes, dripping onto the page and slightly smearing the ink of a templar's severed hand. She ran her thumb over a spot of dry ink, remembering Anders' love of cats and how he had always dreamed of having one once he was a Harrowed mage and able to leave the Tower.

Even though she was angry with him, she missed him far more.

"Are you all right?"

Lhiannon's head snapped up at the sound of a voice ahead of her, hastily drying her tears with the sleeve of her robe. She felt her face flush in mortification as she looked at an unfamiliar young man standing before her. He was several inches taller than her, slight of build with waves of brown hair falling past his shoulders. His bright green eyes looked on her with what appeared to be compassion. His robes were of a design and pattern she was not familiar with. With a nervous laugh, she finished wiping her eyes with the tips of her fingers.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine," she said, quickly moving to run a hand over her hair in a gesture of embarrassment. Great, I meet a new mage and here I am, sniveling like a child. "Just… just having a difficult couple of days."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you," he said, shifting slightly on his feet. He placed his hand on the back of a chair across the table from where Lhiannon sat. "Do you mind if I sit down? I'm pretty tired from the trip here."

"Go ahead."

The young man pulled the chair away from the table, the legs scraping lightly against the floor as it moved. He sat with a small sigh, leaning forward slightly to rest his forearms on the table. A moment of uncomfortable silence passed with the young man looking around the library as Lhiannon stared down at the tabletop.

"So, ah, I hear there has been a bit of trouble here lately."

Lhiannon looked up to see him looking at her with an eyebrow raised in question, waiting patiently for an answer. Lhiannon felt her head tilt slightly and her forehead furrow deeply. Her expression must have looked harder that she thought, for the young man quickly looked away and snorted slightly. "Wow, that's quite a look."

"Yeah, you could say there's been trouble here," Lhiannon said, her voice tinged with sarcasm. "My friend is the one that caused the trouble, and I've spent the better part of two days with templars up my ass asking questions about him and making me guilty by association. So, yeah." She immediately pinched the bridge of her nose, grimacing at the ache in her head as well as the sharpness of her voice. "I'm sorry. It's just been really tough."

The young man looked at Lhiannon with interest. "Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Lhiannon shrugged slightly, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands. "Sure," she said, her voice guarded.

"What kind of trouble did he cause?"

How much should I tell? How much does he already know? Lhiannon thought to herself. She moved her hands from her chin to cover her nose and mouth, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Probably doesn't matter; if he hasn't heard it all already, he will soon.

Lowering her hands to the tabletop, Lhiannon told him the story of being awakened in the middle of the night and being questioned about Anders' disappearance. She felt the sting of tears threaten to overtake her again, but she fought them back, quickly and concisely telling the story.

The young man nodded in the appropriate places, listening raptly as Lhiannon told her story. He occasionally broke in to ask who the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter were, which confirmed to Lhiannon that he was most definitely not from Kinloch Hold. Of course, the design of his robes, cowl, and slightly northern accent also gave his foreign bloodline away.

At the end of the story, the young man nodded slowly again. "Can I ask one more question?"

Lhiannon raised a quizzical brow. "When do I get to ask the questions?"

"How about after this last one? That is, of course, if you don't tell me to get out of your sight."

The hair on the back of Lhiannon's neck threatened to stand on end. She was immediately wary of whatever question this young man was about to ask her. If he was prefacing the question in such a manner, Lhiannon suspected she might find the query offensive. "Ask," she said, her voice careful and guarded.

The young man nodded and cleared his throat. He seemed nervous all of a sudden, his body language unsure. After a moment, he looked Lhiannon directly in her eyes and asked his question. "Was this Anders your boyfriend?"

Her first reaction was one of aggravation, wondering where this near perfect stranger had got the nerve to ask such a question. The urge to leave was nearly overwhelming. After studying him briefly, however, Lhiannon saw he was merely curious. Most mages their age had had romantic interests with others, so the question of a romantic entanglement with Anders was most likely an innocent one. While the outside world might frown upon such open relationships, the mages of the Circle were outside those norms and readily took advantage of such opportunities. Not only that, but many templars were uncomfortable witnessing such relationships, so that often drove mages into the arms of others, if only to flaunt that small piece of freedom .

Her annoyance was replaced by a feeling of melancholy. Slowly shaking her head twice, Lhiannon gave him a small, yet sad smile. "No, he wasn't. He was my best friend. I miss him, but I'm also really, really angry at him." She made a fist with one hand and drove it lightly into the palm of the other. "I could just… smack him when I see him again."

Silence fell between them again, not as uncomfortable this time. After a moment dwelling within it, Lhiannon pointed toward him. "You haven't told me your name."

"It's Zane," the young man smiled, bowing his head formally toward her. "You going to tell me yours, or shall I guess?"

"It's Lhiannon. Where are you from, Zane? Are you just visiting Kinloch Hold?"

"No. My mentor and I came here from Cumberland after the call went out asking for enchanters and teachers to come to Kinloch Hold after… what happened here." Zane paused, glancing to the side as another mage came into view from the racks of books, his arms holding several thick tomes. Lhiannon's gaze followed Zane's, noting the middle-aged man in similar foreign robes. The mage looked about as if searching for someone; he stopped when he saw Zane, then made a tipping motion with his head as if to say come here.

"I have to go, Lhiannon; my mentor needs me. No doubt it's to pile even more homework on me than he normally does." Zane stood and pushed the chair back up to the table.

"Wait," Lhiannon said before Zane could turn away, quickly standing and moving around the table to stand without it between them. "You have a mentor, too? My mentor, Enchanter Sari, helps me with healing spells. What does yours help you with?"

Zane shrugged and shifted slightly on his feet, glancing toward where his mentor stood waiting. He waved his hand nonchalantly. "Oh, Enchanter Gaius helps me with this and that. I've always needed a little help with my spells, and, for the past four years, Gaius has done that." Casting one last glance at his impatient looking mentor, Zane bowed deeply at the waist, a grand display that caused Lhiannon to giggle without thinking. "I take my leave of you, my lady. I hope to see you again soon."

Lhiannon matched Zane's bow with a formal, flourishing curtsy, pulling her robes up and out as much as she could under the circumstances, causing her to giggle once more. "I'm not going anywhere."

Picking up Spirit Healers Through the Ages, Lhiannon moved off to find Enchanter Sari. She would take the book with her, if for no other reason but to offer a slight bit of comfort and give her a small, physical reminder of her absent friend.

My theory on the young mages and Zane's question to Lhi goes a little something like this: we know mages are considered outside the norm once they go to one of the Circles and generally aren't held to the same standards as "normal" people would be. They may be confined to their towers, but inside those towers, they do enjoy a measure of freedom, including freedoms of a romantic nature that those on the outside may not have available to them. Since hormones still run rampant in young mages, it made sense to me that Zane would think that Lhi and Anders had been romantically involved given Lhi's reaction to Anders' absence. I explained to Suilven that Zane's "is he your boyfriend?" question is likely as normal to mages as "would you like fries with that?" is to us. Or I could be way off my rocker... it wouldn't be the first time! :p

More thanks and cookies go out to reviewers Oleander's One (Ole!), naomis8329, Suilven, Wyl, and Arsinoe. Thanks so much for all your support!