For the first time in her life, Kumiko was not looking forward to her Asian history class. While she normally wasn't excited for the class, as the professor's lectures were usually rather boring, it was the highlight of her day and that class in general since it was the class she shared with Sanada. She knew it was rather silly to look forward to that class so much just because of him. After all, she never talked to him and as he stated before at the party he didn't know who she was, or anyone else for that matter. Of course, that was different now. Kumiko knew there was no way Sanada would see her and not recognize her as the girl who dumped beer all over him at the party.
Ok Kumiko time to calm down she thought to herself as she stood outside the classroom. Sanada is probably already inside, like always. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the first one in the classroom. So just go in and sit where you normally do, like everyone else will sit where they normally do, and basically just act normal.
Kumiko walked in the room and was thankful that her normal spot was three rows behind Sanada on the opposite side of the room; perfect for taking a peek every now and again. Kumiko knew though that today she was going to try to avoid looking at Sanada. After quietly getting to her seat and sitting down, Kumiko sat there for several minutes, not moving, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of her, practically drilling holes in it with her eyes. It didn't take long, however, before Kumiko felt the urge to turn her head.
No Kumiko screamed to herself as her head started to turn, don't look at him. Kumiko's head twitched back towards the front, her body stiffened up, and her eyes widened as she continued to yell out no in her thoughts. Those nearby leaned away a bit as they watched Kumiko's odd actions, all wondering if the normally quiet girl in their class was going to snap. Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him, Kumiko thought to herself. You already decided that you weren't going to look at him today, you can't cave after only four minutes!
A minute later Kumiko couldn't help but look over to where Sanada was, hoping that he wasn't looking back at her with a glare. She gave a little sigh of relief, and a slightly pathetic groan, when she saw he wasn't. Sanada seemed to have no intention of turning and looking at anything besides the front of the room and Kumiko started taking out her things for class, glad that she was safe and sad that she couldn't even go a few minutes without looking at Sanada.
~~~K~~~
"All right everyone, that's it for lecture for today, but don't go because we're going to talk about your last writing assignment."
Various noises erupted as everyone began to put their things away and talk about different topics. The class Kumiko and Sanada were taking was a writing intensive class and the teacher had assigned them each a different historical book to read at the beginning of the semester. They had been given two weeks to read the book and every few weeks after that they were assigned a three to five page paper on various issues concerning their book.
The teacher got the class to quiet down and then began speaking. "The matter for this last paper is pretty simple. You will pair up with another person and each of you will tell the other about the book you read. You can use your previous papers, write a summary, get together and talk about it, ask your own questions, even read the book if you want, whatever you choose to do, but afterwards I want you to write a comparison paper between the two books and their subject matters. The paper has to be at least fifteen pages long and is due the day of the final. Are there any questions?" The classroom remained silent, everyone slowly looking around to see if someone was going to ask something. "Ok. If you have any questions later don't hesitate to ask. I'm going to let you choose your own partners so go ahead."
The room quickly became noisy again as everyone turned to their friends or someone they met to get them to be their partner. Kumiko hated having to choose their own partners. Like Sanada she usually didn't talk to people in her classes and often didn't know anyone. It never bothered her until moments like these. She found the realization of everyone else but her knowing someone rather embarrassing. She knew it didn't really make sense but she felt embarrassed nonetheless.
"Does anyone else not have a partner?" Kumiko gave a small sigh of relief and raised her hand, glad she wasn't the only one. Her relief quickly turned to horror however, when she saw that Sanada's hand was raised as well. Two other people towards the front also had their hands raised. Oh please don't partner me with Sanada-san. Please, please don't partner me with Sanada-san. Anything but that, please. "Ok Michishige-san and Obana-san you two can work together and Nakamura-san and Sanada-san you two can be partners. All right is that it? Anyone else? Well then don't forget the paper is due on the day of the final and you have a test next week covering the last three chapters we've talked about. You can go."
Kumiko barely registered what the teacher had said. After announcing the pairings Kumiko had looked over towards where Sanada was, not having a choice now. Their eye's met and she saw the realization in them before he frowned. She wondered how red she turned before she managed to look away. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do Kumiko panicked in her head as she slowly packed up the rest of her things. With all the panicking, Kumiko didn't have time to think about anything before she soon heard a grunt. She looked up to see Sanada standing in front of her.
"I have a few more classes after this. Can you meet me at the cafeteria courtyard at three?" Kumiko just nodded her head not trusting herself to say anything. He seemed angry but it was hard to tell as Sanada spoke rather harshly anyways; she didn't know him well enough to be able to tell the difference. Sanada abruptly walked away and Kumiko began to wonder why she even had a crush on the guy. He always seemed angry. Nothing about him was gentle and Kumiko herself was rather sensitive. Sighing Kumiko picked up her bag and pulled out her phone, calling her friends as she left.
~~~K~~~
"You know it was rather rude of him not to ask what time would be convenient for you," Rika complained, "After all that was your last class." "I have to eat lunch anyways and he did ask if I could meet him," Kumiko rebutted. Rika just shrugged clearly not caring, "Still it would have been the gentlemanly thing to do. It's like he just assumes he's busier than you." "He is busier than me. He plays tennis while I just occasionally write things for the school newspaper." "You could have difficult classes with lots of homework. In fact you do. You've barely had a chance to go out this semester." "He could have just as many hard classes Rika, if not more, and he still spends much more time practicing tennis than I probably do on anything. Except maybe watching T.V., which I do too much of anyways and I don't even like to go out as much as you and Miharu."
"Whatever," Rika said shaking her head, "We're not going to get anywhere with this. You'd defend him forever you like him so much. I don't even get why." Kumiko let out a whine, "Neither do I." "Oh," Rika said leaning forward, clearly interested in her friend's thoughts. "So are you saying that you're shallow and you're only interested in his cute face?" "Probably," Kumiko grunted, annoyed at everything now. "Oh come on," Rika said trying to cheer her friend up, "That fact that you still like him means that you've found something about him that you like besides his cute face. I know you better than that."
Kumiko just sat there in silence for a bit, her head nestled in her arms on the table. "I like his serious side," she mumbled without bringing her head up, "And his obvious dedication for tennis, his respect for his friends and what I think is concern that he sometimes shows for them as well. I've seen him laugh and smile a couple times in class and I find him extremely handsome when he does. Not that smirk that he does when playing against someone though honestly I find that attractive too. His competitive side is kind of alluring though I don't really like or agree with the way he used to play tennis according to what we've heard. He seems to play a little differently now though."
"Well I'd like to think that he's matured a little since middle school," Rika offered. "Ok I can see why you like him but still he seems very strict and you are a bit more carefree concerning most things. But you know what, who cares. I'm not saying you have to be a perfect match and since when does who you like ever really make sense anyways, especially for you. You can't even talk to the guy anyways I don't know what I'm worrying for."
Kumiko's head shot up. "Aww that's mean," she said in a playful tone. Rika smirked before giggling a little, "Just kidding. But one thing, don't mention the party. There's no need. You said sorry then and it was clearly an accident." Kumiko just nodded. "I'd tell you to act normal but I know that won't happen and anyways, part of you being normal is being super quiet and shy. So, just don't spill anything on him." "Rika," Kumiko whined. Rika laughed again at her friend, "Sorry. Couldn't help it." Kumiko just smiled, "It was funny."
"So what are you doing for this project," Rika asked trying to keep Kumiko from thinking too much about meeting with Sanada. "We just have to tell each other about the books we read and then compare them." "Oh well, that sounds interesting." "Yeah apparently none of the books deal with the same topic so she just let everyone pick a partner." Rika gave a smile, "Except for you of course." Kumiko just threw her a look and Rika continued to smile, "I know, I pick on you so much but it's just so easy. Anyways, you have a lot to cover in that class." "Yeah it's nice being able to go into specific details about a single topic."
Rika opened her mouth to say something else but the girl's conversation was cut short with the sound of someone clearing their throat. Looking up they saw Sanada standing next to the table between them.
"Hello," Kumiko said as Rika looked at her phone and let out a little cry. "Ah, I'm late! See you at home Kumiko. Bye!" Kumiko didn't even have a chance to reply before Rika grabbed her stuff and left at a run.
Looking up at Sanada, Kumiko saw his eyes following after Rika with his eyebrows raised and a look of slight disdain across his face. Oh great Kumiko thought choosing to look down at the table. I can only imagine what he thinks of my friends and me now.
Sanada took the seat previously occupied by Rika and Kumiko looked up to see him glaring at her. She blushed and looked back down again, her mind wandering to that slip of paper the witch doctor gave her. Kumiko blushed harder. She had ended up spending the rest of her weekend staring at that piece of paper, thinking about what it would be like if Sanada liked her. She had stared at it so much she had the words memorized. That fact that she had thought about using it had embarrassed her and having Sanada around reminded her of that and embarrassed her more.
Kumiko took a slow, deep breath to calm herself down and to keep her thoughts from spiraling even further. She looked up again to see that Sanada had the same look on his face. Maybe he's not glaring. Maybe this is just his usual no expression face. Kumiko studied Sanada's face for several more seconds before looking back down to her lap, now embarrassed that she had been staring.
I bet if I used those words he would never glare at me, maybe just other guys. Kumiko almost smiled at the thought before shaking her head the tiniest bit and bringing her eyes back up to Sanada's general direction, though she refused to meet his eyes. No, no, it's dumb don't even think about it.
Seeing that he had her attention or that at least she wasn't going to look down again Sanada spoke, "So how would you like to do this?" "Well I was thinking," Kumiko started sitting up a little, still not quite looking at Sanada, "We could read through our previous papers, make a list of questions we might have and then get together and go over anything else we want to know."
"How does that sound," Kumiko asked after a short pause, finally looking Sanada in the eyes. Sanada raised his eyebrows, "Hoh that's a very specific plan." Kumiko blushed and looked away. I did just have two hours to think about it Kumiko thought to herself in a sarcastic tone. After a moment of awkward silence she responded with, "Uh… yeah."
Kumiko brought her eyes back to Sanada's face and then finally turned herself towards him. He seemed to be smirking. Kumiko blushed again but then gave a little smile. He really is cute even when he smirks she thought. I can't believe I'm thinking this. Here he is, having been slightly rude to me all day, making a face at my friend's actions and all I can think about it how cute he is. Seriously what's wrong with me? I mean, I even think his hair is cute! I wish he'd take his hat off. I really like his hair, a couple inches in length, straight and precise but it still has that flow to it. Oh, but he looks cute in his hat too.
Sanada's face, changing back from his smirk into his usual stoic one caught Kumiko's attention and she added, "I suppose if you're busy we could just email the questions back and forth." Sanada shook his head, "It's fine. I would prefer to get together. Plus it's a good idea." Sanada's face relaxed a bit more and Kumiko's smile couldn't help but widen.
Wow a compliment. I wasn't expecting that. So he does have a nice side and he practically smiled just now. I wish he would smile more often; I like seeing it. I also wish he would be more gentle like this all the time, he's usually so intimidating. Ha I wish I could talk to him like this all the time. I suppose having a conversation would make one seem more approachable, a person can only be so stiff when talking to someone, especially since he is a decent guy. He seems more relaxed right now. I wonder if he's like this around his friends? I would like to see that. Seeing him like this right now just makes me like him more.
I'm being so silly right now! I wonder though, how he would act if he were around someone he likes. I bet it would be something like this only better. I bet I could see him smile more often. I want to be that person; I want to be his girlfriend who sees all that. I want him to like me, but why would he? He never knew I existed before and his first impression of me is me spilling beer on him. I like him so much; this is so unfair. I want him to like me. I want to go out with him.
The witch doctors words floated into Kumiko's head, 'he will love you.' Kumiko thought about the phrase that she unintentionally memorized. It wasn't really unintentional, was it? Deep down I really thought about using it, didn't I? I memorized it just in case. But it's just so dumb; I can't use it. It seems wrong.
"I have to go now. Give me your number and email and we can work out a time later."
Kumiko's heart swelled with those words. She knew she had no reason. They had to be able to contact each other in order to complete their papers.
Kumiko rattled off her phone number as her emotions went crazy. Logic wasn't acknowledged as her thoughts swirled with how much she liked Sanada. The phrase 'he will love you' kept repeating itself over and over in her head. Feeling like her heart was going to explode, without thinking, Kumiko blurted out," Bura em bura oee ott."
A look of slight confusion passed across Sanada's face, "That's your email? What was that again?" "Oh… uh… sorry," Kumiko stammered attempting to cover herself before telling him her email address. She blushed and looked away as Sanada finished typing her email address on his phone. "I'll contact you when I'm free. Thank you. Bye," Sanada said before he quickly left.
~~~K~~~
As Sanada walked to tennis practice he shook his head the tiniest bit. He couldn't believe how the past few days had gone for him concerning Nakamura. He was rather surprised when she turned out to be his partner for class. He had honestly never noticed her before, though after she spilled beer all over him at the party he would probably never forget her face. Not because he was angry at her, but because her reaction afterwards he found to be rather adorable.
He didn't get why that the first thing he did after getting beer spilled all over him was blush in embarrassment, and not because it happened in front of all those people, but because after seeing Nakamura's shocked expression when she looked at him the first word that popped into his mind was 'cute'. He became even more embarrassed afterwards, realizing he had thought that and that he was also blushing. To cover it up, he set a serious scowl on his face and reminded himself that he just had beer spilled all over him. His irritation at that quickly took over but Sanada still had to chuckle a little, thinking about his conversation with Yukimura after the three girls had left. Yukimura didn't really seem concerned with calming Sanada down as much as convincing him that it wasn't the girl's fault.
"Really Sanada, it clearly wasn't that girls fault. You saw that guy run into her. He made her run into you." "I know that," Sanada grunted. Yukimura raised his eyebrows, "Then why the angry look and hostile attitude?" "Can't I be annoyed? I did just have beer spilled all over me." "You didn't have to take it out on her." "I wasn't trying to."
Sanada was glad that Yukimura dropped the conversation after that, though the smile that crossed Yukimura's face after Sanada's last statement made him suspicious. What could Yukimura have found to smile about Sanada thought? I wish he would vocalize his thoughts at times rather than just at his own convenience. Or fun Sanada added as an afterthought. Sanada pondered over Yukimura's reasoning for a minute before finally deciding to forget about it. He had thought about it several times over the rest of the weekend and never came up with anything then either.
Sanada had been extremely glad that Yukimura decided to leave that party shortly after the beer incident. Sanada knew that it probably had to do with the fact that for the rest of the night he wasn't going to be a happy person no matter what. Sure, he didn't blame the girl but he was still thoroughly annoyed. He didn't feel like being there that night anyways, so having beer spilled all over him didn't help anything. Before leaving though Yukimura had suggested finding the girl to say something to her. Sanada had declined, wanting nothing more than to leave, since it had already been suggested.
He ended up thinking about Nakamura several times throughout the weekend though, and wondered what she had been doing at the time. There were a few moments where he wished that he had gone and talked to her before he and Yukimura left, but he quickly dismissed those thoughts. So when he saw that they were going to be partners for class, he had been pleasantly surprised; he never thought he would see her again. But when he realized how happy he felt at the whole situation he immediately frowned, trying to make the feeling go away. It didn't and all he could think about was how he had this chance to prove that he wasn't so angry and intimidating all the time. Of course his previous attempts at that had never been that successful and he's pretty sure it didn't go over so well this time either. Every other time he tried to impress a girl all he seemed capable of was yelling tarundoru at himself in his head. A helpful thought, with something he should say or do in the situation, would not come.
So Sanada had thought about it through the rest of his classes beforehand, trying to come up with things to say. He had a few and felt prepared as he walked to meet with Nakamura, until he saw her friend. Sanada recalled what the friend had said to Yukimura and him the night of the party right before the three girls left. He especially remembered the way she said it and he immediately felt a surge of annoyance. There was nothing about her voice that agreed with her statement of 'have a nice night'. She clearly wished the opposite and it had only added to Sanada's irritation. His attitude and actions could have been much worse that night and he doubted she would have handled being in his situation any better. He knew it was childish, but he couldn't help but look after her with an annoyed look as she hastily left, wishing something would get spilled on her and she'd be even later.
Sanada's childishness in the moment made him more irritated, especially at himself. Realizing then, that he forgot what he was going to say didn't help at all and Sanada could not help the glare that was on his face. It didn't help that Nakamura wouldn't face him at first either and so he didn't know what to do to start a conversation. He noticed though that she seemed to be rather nervous and fairly deep in thought given all the slight expressions that were passing across her face. He couldn't help but find it funny and soon began to relax a bit. Again the word cute popped into his head when they started talking and he quickly tried to bury his thoughts and feelings. He figured he only partially succeeded when he found himself smirking. He quickly got rid of the smirk and just focused on trying to get rid of the thoughts he didn't want to have. Annoyed at himself and rather embarrassed over his actions since he had arrived, he left as soon as he could.
I just need to forget about Nakamura-san Sanada thought as he changed for tennis practice. Being around her just seems to bring me irritation so it would be best. Sanada paused in his thinking but then shook his head, intentionally ignoring all the moments where he had been anything but irritated, and continued on with his previous train of thought. I don't even know why I've felt so interested anyways. I just need to forget all this. Sanada went to tennis practice glad that he would soon be able to forget about everything.
~~~K~~~
Sanada went through tennis practice almost like he normally would. He would admit his concentration was slightly lacking. He couldn't seem to get Nakamura Kumiko out of his thoughts and the extra running he was doing right now wasn't helping at all. Sanada never had a problem clearing his thoughts when it came to tennis. No matter what was going on, during practice or a match, he was solely focused on that.
Today however had been a different case. Nakamura had just been there at the back of his mind. Not completely distracting him, but there when she shouldn't have been. It was really probably just the same as completely distracting him. He still won his practice match and no one noticed his obvious lack of concentration except for Yukimura and Marui. He had just ignored their questions afterwards saying he was going to run more laps.
Even though he didn't say anything he still heard it when Yukimura mentioned Nakamura. There was even that smile along with it too. It was like he knew that Sanada was thinking about her. He wondered if Yukimura suspected that he thought Nakamura was cute. That smile that he could never figure out, came up whenever the topic was about her.
I don't really see how he could come up with the conclusion that I think that she's cute after all I did was get irritated with her for spilling beer on me, but at the same time he was always the first person to figure out when I liked someone in high school. Sanada frowned at his own thought. Not like those times went over that well. No matter what advice everyone tried to give me I never knew what to do. My strictness just drove them away. Not like it really mattered; they only dated me for the sake of going out with someone popular or getting to my friends.
Sanada's frowned deepened. He didn't like thinking about those times. He had actually truly liked those three girls and finding out it was all fake had really hurt. They always did so much for him: Coming to all the matches and cheering, as well as coming to all the regular practices, they all made him lunch and dessert everyday and would always offer to clean up, they always tried to give him some sort of cute nickname, though he felt awkward when they did, they always asked about the things he did and the stuff he liked and jumped at every suggestion and remark he made, often anticipating things and doing it without him saying anything, and they also asked for his advice about random things in their life.
He enjoyed it all too. He would admit it, it fed his ego and he enjoyed the attention that they gave him but at the same time he didn't know what to do with all that attention and he felt like a robot most the time. Sanada shook his head. Don't think about it he thought fiercely. It was all fake anyways, they just used me.
The first girl had been a transfer student and was rather quiet. Somehow, he didn't quite remember how, Sanada had ended up talking to her and he thought she was a sweet person. So when he found out a month after they started dating that she was only with him because of a bet she made -that she could get with someone popular- he had been surprised that she could have been so cruel.
The second girl had been somewhat similar. She was with him for the sake of being with someone popular and also because her friend was together with Renji, whom she also had a crush on. She had used him as a reason to get close to Renji and her friend, to sabotage them and so that she could feel better about herself.
It was a while after that before Sanada ended up opening up to girls again. He wished he hadn't because when the third girl came along, he fell hard. He had liked her so much that he was completely blind to everything around him. So he thought nothing of it when she started hanging around Yukimura more nor did he listen to any of the people who told him that she was just using him to get to Yukimura. He ignored absolutely everything until he saw her plant a kiss on Yukimura's cheek.
The next thing he knew he was yelling at Yukimura, wanting to know why he didn't notice or do anything about it. Yukimura was perceptive and everyone else knew, so why did he just let it play out? Sanada knew he wasn't being fair but he was so frustrated and angry at that point, that all these girls could do nothing but use him, and that his supposed best friend was involved, watching like he was just enjoying a show.
Sanada had yelled at Yukimura for at least ten minutes, tearing him apart over everything and tension was high on the team for several days as the two didn't talk to each other. They eventually made up, apologizing to each other and working everything out. After that Yukimura slaughtered Sanada in a game of tennis. Sanada didn't mind so much as he regretted yelling at Yukimura like he did. It was still a bit painful to remember it all. After the third girlfriend disaster, Sanada didn't bother trying to deal with relationships anymore. To him there was nothing about dating someone that was worth all the effort and pain anyways.
Sanada kept running even after everyone else had left, but Nakamura still wouldn't leave his head. I'm not doing a good job of not thinking about it though. Tarundoru. I don't want to deal with this Sanada thought, just go away feelings. Since high school I have ignored all feelings concerning girls, successfully, why won't you go away now as well?
Sanada shook his head. He didn't understand what he was feeling, why it felt so intense. Nothing had ever felt this strong. He really just wanted it to go away. He didn't want to experience those same painful emotions again. Soon realizing that he had been running for hours, Sanada stopped, deciding that going home and going to bed, would be the best way to forget everything.