Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter of Darren Shan, but the plot is pretty original, so I guess its mine.
Chapter 20 - You Can Have What Is Left of Me
"It's really a long story..." Darren put off, looking away from the four wizarding students in front of him.
Ginny shrugged, "We have no were else to be." The others nodded in agreement, save Draco who continued to give Darren a probing gaze that chilled him to the bone.
Darren took a deep breathe, an amazing feat considering how tight the ropes were, and clenched his fists. Now was a moment he had dreaded. Why did it have to be on such bad terms? Couldn't it have been when they were all sitting, cozy as bugs, in some nice cottage away from enemy Vampaneze, with him not bound out of fear for their lives?
'Of course not,' Darren thought bitterly, 'that would be the easy way. But instead, I had to go and mess up... again. Like my first time at the Cirque.' Breif memories of the horror and pain he experienced there rippled through his mind and body.
Draco, who had been watching Darren carefully for any deception, like his father had trained him to, caught the brief shudder and the glazed look about the boys eyes.
'Caught in some sort of memory, not doubt.'
Harry and Hermione exchanged a glance when Darren didnt immediately answer. What was he doing? Hermione leaned forwards and touched one of Darrens hands, hoping to gain his attention.
Darren started and gasped when he felt the fingers in his memory touch his own. Hermione quickly withdrew her hand at his startled gasp, and watched as he shivered. What was wrong with him? "Darren?..." she probed carefully.
Darrens eyes refocused on the present and he mentally shook himself, 'I have to keep my mind away from there. It will only distract me.'
"Ummm... What was I saying?" Darren asked tiredly.
"You were going to tell us the whole truth about yourself." Ginny said, getting irritated at his stalling.
"The whole truth?" she nodded. "Well... My favorite colour is blue and I once had a pet spider and-"
"Darren." Hermione said, a warning painting her tone.
Darren sighed sadly, had they not just asked for 'the whole truth'?
"What part do you want to hear, then?"
"How you became a vampire." Hermione said, more than a little bit curious how he became one.
"It started when I was..." Darren paused. When had that been? He chuckled bitterly. "I dont even remember anymore. I was a young boy, and I was curious. My best friend and I had gone to a circus, just because we were interested. Nothing more than a little interest in what was there." Darren shook his head, lowering it so his hair fell over his face. "Turns out a little bit of curiosty can kill a cat, or little boy for that matter. I ran into a vampire there. He turned me. End of story." Darrens tone was final, he was not going to reveal any more.
Hermione was about to protest, but Harry put a hand on her shoulder, halting her words. "Where are you taking us?" he asked.
"My home." Darrens tone didn't match the words.
"Really?" Harry probed. "It dosent sound like-"
"It is, alright?" Darren cut in, suddenly cold and angry eyes glared out at them from through his brown fringe. Hermione's eyes widened.
Darren averted his eyes. "Im taking you to my home." he muttered gain.
"Will there be other vampires there?" asked Draco, the first words he had said in the entire conversation.
Darren nodded. "Hundreds." The gatherings had been changed to more frequent dates, to allow for better communication during the war.
There was a moment of silence in which no one could think of what to say.
Other than Hermione, who couldn't hold her questions longer than a minute. "How did you get enough blood throughout the year? Why do you wear a cape? How were you turned? Because I read somewhere that... ummm..." She shrunk under the incredulous stares the others were giving her.
"Look," Darren sighed. "The Mountain is only a few more days away. I can leave you there to do as you wish, you will be safe there."
Draco snorted at 'safe'. "And hundreds of vampires around us weakling mortals is 'safe'?"
"There are vampires there who can take care of you." Darren said, shifting in his restraints uncomfortably.
Seeing Darren squirm, Harry flicked his wand and cancelled the spell. Ginny quickly flicked her wand was well, re-restraining Darren who fell back against the wall he was just beginning to get up from with a grunt.
"What are you doing, Harry?" she hissed.
Harry blinked, "Letting him go? He told us the truth." Harry banished the ropes again.
Darren opened his mouth to thank Harry when the ropes re-appeared and squeezed the breath out of his lungs and cut off his words.
"Just because he says he told the truth dosent mean he really did." Ginny said, frowning at Harry for his balant stupidity. "Thats basic logic, Harry."
Harry frowned back, his green eyes sparkling. "And isnt it basic morals to trust a friend?"
"Friends dont lie!" Ginny shouted. "Friends dont try to get you killed!" Her eyes sparkled in anger and hurt.
"I never tried to kill any one of you." Darren said in his own defence.
"Oh yeah?" Ginny challenged. "Ever since you came to our school, deformed monsters have tried to break in! And now they've finally succeeded." Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Wait... what?" Hermione interrupted. "Those monsters have been trying to break in for a long time now? Why werent we told?"
"Dumbledore didnt want panic. He thought he could handle them with the staff and a few students." Ginny sniffled, rubbing her eyes with her sweater.
"I should have been informed!" Darren shouted, seething with guilt and anger that his problems had brought this upon these innocent people. "I would have left! To hell with my personal problems! When I find Vancha..." he ranted.
"'Personal problems'?" Hermione probed, interested.
"Stupid council and their stupid plans." Darren hissed, eyes unfocused. "'Send him to a friend. That'll fix him.' And thats probably what they thought, too. But I'll show them. I dont need to have time to myself, there's too much to do. Far too much." Darren jerked as he realized were he was, eyes flicking over the assembled teenaged wizards. "Let me out of these ropes." he ordered, his voice leaving no arguement. "If we continue for the rest of the day, we can make it almost half way." he said.
"But its almost dark!" Hermione protested.
"You're flying, you'll be fine." Darren said.
"But you're not flying." Harry pointed out.
"And how can we trust you anymore?" Ginny added, eyeing the ropes with firm satisfaction, to which Harry gave her a whithering look.
"I.... I-i don't know." Darren gave up, deflated and defeated, it's not like they'd let him take them to the mountain where they would be safe from the Vampaneze now. They were as good as dead.
'Now what?' Harry thought after a few moments of silence. They couldnt trust Darren, they were stuck in a cave filled with Hollywood props that could possibly have an invincible monster walking in on them at any moment, and they couldn't go back, for they didnt know which way it was.
"Ginny," Her head snapped up to look at Harry, "Go find some wood for a fire with Draco." Ginny nodded and pulled a complaining Draco out of the cave. He turned to Hermione, "We should make this place more liveable. We'll be spending the night." He looked over to where Darren was slumped against the wall, off in his own world, "Hopefully, that thing won't come back as long as we have Darren."
Hermione perked up, twirling her wand, "And with the wards Im going to put up, it wont be able to get 100 feet of the enterance." she walked off to set up said wards as Harry picked up some of the fallen items strewn about by his and Rons fight. He picked up one of the jars of blood, studying it curiously, watching the red liquid slide from side to side. He looked over to Darren, holding up the jar, "Where do you get the blood from?" Darren blinked up at him blankly and he refraised his question, "The blood, who you you get it from?"
Darren, avoiding looking at the jar, disgusted, "Donors, mostly, but some other sources."
Harry made a sound, shrugging, and was about to put it back when he had a thought, 'Is Darren... thirsty?' He crouched down beside the vampire, holding out the jar in front of the glassy hazel eyes, "Would you like some?" Harry was sure that the others wouldn't approve of him willingly offering him strength, but it was like depriving one of them veggies or meat, and Harry understood such a feeling.
Harry was unprepared when Darren recoiled, scrunching up his nose and glaring at the outstreched offering, "No!" he yelled.
Slightly shocked, Harry remained crouched as Hermione rushed in to see what the yelling was about.
"Whats wrong?" She asked, her eyes darting around the cave for threats.
Harry just shook his head, "Ummm.... I was just trying to feed him." He was instantly glad that he had asked Hermione, of all of them, to remain behind.
Hermione frowned, crouching down beside Harry, "Darren," The boy in front of her refused to look at her, Harry, or the blood, choosing instead to look outside the cave. Hermione's eyebrows drew together in slight irritation, reaching out and flicking Darren in the forehead to get his attention. Darren yelped, glaring darkly at Hermione, "What?" he asked angrily.
"Dont ignore us." Hermione ordered, ignoring the roll of his eyes. She took the jar from Harry, holding it out to Darren again. "Do you need this to live?" she asked simply.
Darren scowled, and hastily answered as she rose her other hand to flick him again, "Yes! I mean... no.... errr...." Darren wasn't sure. Of course he would probably die if he didnt drink human blood, but if even a drop landed on his dead body afterwards, he would come back to life in the most excruciating pain. So, no matter what, he could live without it, but in the end, her would always need it. 'Not that that makes any sense.' Darren thought. 'Why are they trying to force me to drink? Dont they know I could tear them to tiny bits and they could do nothing about it if I had even a single drop pf that accursed substance?' He didnt understand these humans.
Hermione unscrewed the lid, "Then you're going to have some." she insisted. She couldnt allow him to starve himself! She held it closer to the vampire, following his face when he turned away. "Come on, Darren. Drink!" Harry insisted. Darren turned his head again, holding his breath, for fear that he would drink the blood if the smell reached his mind.
"Leave me alone!" Darren yelled, making Hermione freeze. "Im not going to drink it! Deal with it!"
"But you'll die!" Hermione argued.
"I'd rather die than give in to the monster!" Darren hissed vehemently. "I'd rather suffer than embrace that world that took everything from me!" By now, Darren was shaking in rage, all the emotions he fought to keep hidden deep in his heart coming to the surface, slicing him apart from the inside out. The guilt and sorrow filling him, the pain of losing all he'd ever loved coming to the surface and closing in on him. He clenched his teeth as he fought to keep control, to not break, not when he needed that rage and pure hatred to kill his best friend. It was all that kept him going these days, and if he couldnt go on, then all that they died for would be in vain.
Seeing Darren begin to lose himself again, Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders, concerned as she felt him shaking, his eyes so far gone that all his emotions passed on his face as clear as day. "Darren..." she whispered, startling him from his blank stare, his breaths coming in short pants through his clenched teeth. Seeing their concerned gazes, he groaned. He did not need their attention nor their pity.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione asked calmly.
Darren tensed, "No." he said shortly.
"Is it about someone you know?" Harry asked, getting a bad feeling that he knew what Darren was going through.
Darren glared at Harry. "No."
"Did someone betray you?" Harry asked again.
Darren growled, "No." This boy needed to mind his own buisness. Even as they questioned him, he could feel the ache loosening from his tight control.
"Was it the other vampires?"
Darren took a deep breath, exhaling through his nose, "No. Leave me alone." he ordered again, a fierce warning lacing his tone. And though his tone was angry, he had been reduced to a quivering mass inside.
Harry thought over his own life, and there was only one other point is could possibly be. He winced metally as he whispered, "Did someone you love die?"
Darren forcefully restrained an angered snarl from leaving his lips, "Mind your own buisness, human!"
"Who was it?" Hermione asked quickly.
"Nobody died!" Darren insisted, the control slipped to the tips of his fingers at the dishonor he just paid to his mentor.
"Was it only one? Or did everyone die?" Hermione asked, staring deep into his eyes, watching as they fogged over more and more at their questions. The more distraught he became, the more Darren removed himself from the world, she shook his shoulders again to gain his attention. 'If we can get him riled up enough...'. "Did they suffer? Die for a cause they thought was worth it when really, you needed them with you the most?"
"S-stop it." Darren stuttered, the darkness closing around his lungs and making it hard to breathe. "J-just..." Leave me alone! I cant deal with this!
"Was it all your fault?" Harry whispered, feeling his own heart ache at the ghost of a memory.
Darren opened his mouth, to deny everything or to yell in agony he wasnt sure, but nothing came out. Every breath was like impaling himself on a stake and the guilt flowed, wiping his mind and rendering him incapable of even speaking. His fault...?
"...yes..." Darren whispered weakly, seeing his mentor drop into the flames, again and again, that stupid look of triumph on his face. And right there, hidden in the background, was his bestfriend, grinning in satisfaction, laughing in sadistic delight. He shouldn't have become a vampire, shouldn't have gone to that show, so many would still be alive. He choked on his breath, trying to get enough air through the darkness. Oh what a fool he was... his mentor... his friend... 'Larten.' Darren gasped in pain, wishing desperately that he could get up and run. Run from these thoughts and memories he had kept hidden. Moments while he had been travelling with the cirque, when he had been training to be a vampire, when he fought alongside Larten in a battle against the Vampaneze. He had never known how close that snarky old vampire had gotten to his heart until he had left with a piece of it.
Darren felt warm arms fold around his shoulders and pull him into a thick sweatered chest, and for once, he didnt notice the life coursing next to his ear, only the soft words of comfort whispered. And for the first time since that horrid day, Darren cried. Sobs racked his form as he cried for his long lost friends, for the fate he now held on his shoulders, and the knowledge that there was noting but pain and death in his future.
Harry watched as Hermione soothed the distraught vampire, sighing deeply. He had come to terms with the loss of his friends, but that didnt mean the pain ever went away. He vaguely wondered if Darren had lost as many as he had, but pushed the morbid thought away.
As Darren calmed down, he blinked through blurry eyes at the two wizards beside him and blushed. He went to reach up and rub his eyes dry, remembering that they were tied tightly a second after struggling, and huffed a breath of defeat. While that outbrust had made him feel better, there was now an emptiness where the poisonous thoughts had been hiding, a feeling he had been trying to avoid.
"Feel better?" Hermione asked softly.
Darren shook his head. No, this empty feeling was as bad, if not worse, than the pain.
"Do you want to talk about it?" At another shake of his head, Hermione continued, "It always made me feel better to tell someone about something that made me sad. It was as though that person was helping share the burden." She glanced at Harry out of the corner of her eye and he nodded.
Darren sighed deeply, leaning back against the wall again, he shook his head, "You shouldn't need to know. The more I tell you, the more danger you're in."
Hermione smiled, "Like we dont have practice?" she joked, "Hanging with Harry here made us the targets of the most dangerous man in all of Europe!" Harry shifted, looking at his shoes guiltily, "But we're his friends, no matter what." Hermione assured Harry, who in turn smiled back.
"Thats not it. This isnt your world, you shouldn't be dragged into our problems." Darren insisted. Even though the thought of getting it all off his chest and being able to have someone to lean on, he couldnt have such luxuries when anyone who was close to him could die. Steve had managed to kill Larten, these humans would stand no chance.
Harry, seeing Darren withdrawing into himself again, placed a hand on his shoulder, "Darren, you dont need to isolate yourself to keep from getting hurt." Darren froze, eyes wide as Harry seemed to read his mind, those emerald eyes sparkling with dark understanding. "Sometimes... its okay to ask for help from thsoe who care."
Darren snorted softly, looking away, "Im a monster, why would you care about me?"
"You're a friend." Darren looked up in shock at Harry,
"And one heck of a strange one!" Hermione joked, giggling at her own joke.
"You dont care that Im a vampire? That I use humans to exist?" Hermione shook her head.
"We use animals to exist, its called survival, Darren. We all do it. Even us weakling humans." Hermione sighed, rubbing at her arms as a chill blew through the cave. Harry moved over to where a few logs of wood were piled and started to light the fire. After a few seconds, a warm blaze was going in the middle of the cave and Hermione looked over at Darren. "Can we trust you enough to let you out of those ropes?"
Darren thought for a moment on his hunger versus his desire to move his limbs, and eventually nodded. Hermione vanished the ropes and the three of them gathered around the fire in silence, waiting for the others to get back. Darren mulled over what they had said in silence, and they didnt push him to talk. Could he really share his pain with these wizards? He glanced at them out of the corner of his eye and sighed silently, 'Why do they have to be so frustratingly understanding?'