She gazes across the room, watching the creamy wall swirl, fracture and twist in front of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she forces herself to close her stinging eyes. The world goes black, and a thousand horrifying images run over her eyelids. As she gasps and her eyelids snap back open, she remembers why she doesn't shut her eyes.
Her now cloudy eyes scan the blank room again, looking for a sign – something, anything to prove that she's actually here. There's a slight rushing sound in her ear, but it's easily ignored… just like she always was, just like everything is. Taking a sharp breath in, she can't help but notice her constantly erratic breathing.
"Pansy?" The voice comes through distorted and deep, she's sure it isn't real but it makes her jolt with fright, which causes flashes of memories she's trying so hard to supress to rip through her brain.
Green flashes. So much green.
Broken bodies – a pile of broken bodies.
Blood, blood everywhere.
"Mum - mum!" Her strangled voice that she hasn't used since that day rings through her mind.
Choking on her breath, she leans back into her chair. Funnily enough there are no tears… but then again, there never are. There hasn't been since…that, and there won't ever be again.
"It's okay, Pansy. We're here, not there – leave your mind, stay out here with me." That same ugly, twisted voice scratches at her skull and she can't blink, can't cover her ears… can't do anything but let it scrape away at her.
"How are you feeling today?" The voice crawls into her ears once more and she shakes her head again and again, so violently that it should cause her agony, but it doesn't.
Something isn't right, she forces herself to think. Bringing her trembling hands up to her face, she rubs vigorously and tries to push herself back into reality. Blinking isn't an option; no… neither is covering her ears because the voices are inside anyway. The spiralling stops as she brings her hands away from her face and the blur around her fades, allowing her to make out the silhouette of a woman.
"How are you feeling today?" The voice repeats, only this time it's softer and she can tell that it belongs to a woman. Only, the woman isn't a friend or family, the woman doesn't care about her and Pansy doesn't even know who she is. The room starts to blur and twist in that strangely comforting way again and Pansy feels the strong urge to shut her eyes.
The ugly voice scratches through her ears, I'm here to help you Pansy. But that isn't true, is it? Because she doesn't need help – nothing is ever going to help her unless they let her erase certain things from her mind. But they won't, will they? Because the past can't be erased.
She wakes up the next day screaming, coated in sweat – she doesn't remember falling asleep but after the nightmares she had, it's never happening again. There's a reason she doesn't close her eyes.
A/N- Wrote this for The Sensitive Topic Challenge with the topic Stress Disorder. I did do some research, so if there is anyone out there who has/is suffering with this, I hope you think I wrote it right. If you couldn't guess, Pansys mum died in the war. Also, the last bit doesn't mean the rest was a dream, I just wanted to stress the struggle. Anyway... I hope you guys liked, please leave me a review! :)