Belief
Kiare stops believing in miracles when her mother dies. She stops believing in hope, in love, in childhood – she stops believing in life.
When her father remarries, she is bitter. He does not love this woman, she can see it. But he needs an heir, and the wolves will not follow her, or Shirokiba.
When her brother is born, she is happy. She believes again, in the little things – love, hope, childhood.
When her father dies, she is angry. How could he leave them at a time like this? How could he leave them when they needed him the most?
When Koga casts them out, her heart breaks. But she does not show it. Why? She thinks. There is nothing to show, because there is nothing left.
She no longer believes.
When Kiare dies, she is relieved. There is some part of her that is happy –is this what it's like to be at peace? Is this what it's like to not have to worry? – and she wants so badly to be at peace.
When she is resurrected, she is confused, lost.
But in her resurrection, she finds hope, and love, and life. There is a little girl there, a girl who brings light to her life once more, who makes her think maybe I was wrong after all, maybe there is life out there and this makes her happy again.
When the girl dies, she is enraged, and then she is broken. They say that time heals all wounds. They are wrong. This wound will never fully heal. And once more, her hope is gone.
When time passes, and with it, the wars and the famines and the plagues and all the other human things, she looks at the face of the one who saved her, the one who gave her that light and life and hope, and she feels her heart pounding. She looks at that emotionless face, and it will bring back everything she lost, and she believes again.
When Kiare falls in love, she truly knows despair.
End
A/N – Introspection on an original character. Prozac, anyone? Help me, I think I'm broken.