Chapter Two

Sam and Castiel sat across from each other at the lopsided kitchen table, neither saying anything aside from Sam's occasional gulps of beer. He didn't mind the silence. He remembered Cas and his quiet yet fierce personality. He knew that soon enough Cas would either mention something about it being awkward or throw out some candid demand asking why Sam was there.

As if on cue, Cas blurted out, "What are you doing here, Sam? It's been years and we haven't talked. What on earth could be so important that you need to see me now?"

Sam only smiled. He was glad Cas hadn't changed too much since the last time they saw each other. But remembering the subject of his visit, and his smile disappeared.

"Look, Cas. I know how you idolized Bobby and how he mentored you. It just makes it even more difficult to say what I'm trying to say. Cas, something happened…"

Cas knew what he was getting at, but he refused to let it in. He pretended he had no idea. He wasn't going to let Sam just sit there and tell him something had happened to Bobby. He wasn't even that old. How could he…No. He kept a straight, emotionless face. "I don't understand what you mean, Sam."

Sam knew that Cas did understand, and that he was just in denial. He understood because the same thing happened to him just a month before. Bobby was his father after all. Sam knew Cas felt the same emotion, even if it was at a lesser magnitude.

Dammit, this is too hard, thought Sam. He continued anyway, "Oh God…" he muttered, "Okay, look. Bobby was walking back from teaching a night class. Someone jumped him. It was pretty dark and no one was around, so Bobby thought he could handle it himself. He tried to reason with him, and then he tried to overpower him, and then he tried to run for it. None of them worked. The man ended up getting pretty flustered. Bobby moved too suddenly, and the man was so nervous he pulled the trigger."

Castiel made a small, almost undetectable noise of shock and sadness. Sam kept going; he knew that if he didn't get through this Cas would be in denial all his life. after all, he almost had. "The man wasn't aiming for Bobby's head. Not really. But he had terrible aim, and that was just where it hit. The man rushed Bobby to the hospital and immediately told everything to the police. Bobby held on for a good day and a half, but almost no one is strong enough to survive a shot to the head. Cas, he died at 2:47 A.M. thirty five days ago."

Castiel's face was blank and impossible to read. Finally, after what seemed like half an hour of silence, he spoke in staggered, monotone speech, "I think it's best if you go, Sam. Thank you for coming. It was good to see you again."

Sam hesitated in his seat. Should he really leave Cas alone like this? But he knew that Cas was strong enough to handle it. He reluctantly got up. He gestured an offer for a hug, but Castiel just continued to sit, motionless. "Look, man. I'm really sorry that the first time we saw each other again had to be like this. Maybe we could meet up some other time…I'm so sorry, Cas."

And then he was gone, leaving Cas alone with only his thoughts and his paintings.

Being alone when you're grieving is normally not something that is advised. One's mind might send them to places they don't want to go, and to confront thoughts they never wanted to think about again. For Castiel, though, he just shut down. For two days he did nothing. For two days, he didn't eat, drink, sleep, or move.

Why, one might ask, is someone so depressed just from losing their college art teacher?

Bobby was much more than a teacher to Cas. He was the only one since his dad that had actually believed in him or given him a chance. He was someone to look up to and to learn from. He was the thing that kept Cas going through the hard times in his life, and there were plenty of those. It was as if the father that had left all those years ago, was reborn into this man, and he had a family again. Now it was taken away.

Three days later Castiel drank a glass of water. Four days later Castiel ate a piece of toast. Five days later Castiel took a walk to the park and sat for a while to reminisce. Six days later Castiel was sleeping again. Seven days later Castiel was painting again. Eight days later Castiel had gotten back into his daily schedule. Nine days later Castiel had fully recovered- physically, that is. Ten days later, Castiel realized what he had to do to recover emotionally.

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