Chapter Three
I lay down on the blue sofa inside the library as my stomach digested one of the best meals I had had since Mum's last home-cooked dinner. My head was propped up on the arm rest, my knees bent, and my feet rested flat on the cushion.
The Doctor was sitting just past my feet with his whole consciousness absorbed into a book held in his hands. I watched his palms cradle the tan bounded cover labeled in yellow swirly writing that was certainly not Earth-originated. His fingers were long and narrow.
Okay, I'll admit it; he has sexy hands. His index finger of his left hand was tapping softly against the book. Tap. Tap. Tap. My heart thudded.
Slowly, he brought his right hand to his face. The Doctor outstretched his pointer and middle fingers towards his mouth. And, oh sweet lord, his tongue darted out from his mouth as he dampened his fingertips. Using those fingers, he turned to the next page of the book. His eyes danced from the bottom of one page to the top of the next. I had to use every ounce of my self-control not to moan out loud.
I was never very certain how helpful it was to lick your fingers before turning the page of a book. Countless times, I saw my mum do it to her magazines. But did it really help? I thought maybe the Doctor was just doing this just to give me a racing heartbeat.
My big toes were lightly touching his outer thigh. I drew away my attention from his hands and tongue and thought about nothing else but the small area of my body touching his. There was just the thin layer of his pin-striped trousers between his warm skin and my cold toes. I wiggled them faintly and felt the firmness of his muscles.
The Doctor glanced over at me and smiled. Reflexively, the corners of my mouth curled up a bit.
"Rose," he began and sighed. I sighed along with him in my head.
"Rose, I'm so sorry there's nothing to do. I really don't know how long we will have to live here, but there really isn't much entertainment."
"It's okay, Doctor, I don't blame you at all," I told him. "It's not your fault, you know."
The Doctor scratched his head. "Well obviously I did something the TARDIS didn't like or something."
Or something.
"Please, don't blame yourself," I pleaded. I looked at him softly, and poked his bony knee with my toe. The Doctor placed his left hand over the top of my foot. His hand felt so warm compared to my foot. His fingertips ran across my skin, and I wiggled my toes in return. He released a soft laugh.
"I think I'm going to go shower and get ready for bed," the Doctor said, setting down his book on the arm rest of the couch.
"Alright," I responded. I held a strand of my blonde hair between my fingers running through a knot. "I'll probably do the same afterwards."
He nodded and got up from the couch. My eyes followed his figure as he left the room without another word.
I pushed myself off the couch once I heard the door of the bathroom close. I padded over to the bedroom and returned to the, always promising, lying down position once again. My head was tilted back, looking at the stars. My future had been blurred ever since I had been with the Doctor. I never knew how long I would be away from Mum or if I would ever be stuck on another planet far away. There was no way of knowing if I would be killed in battle, or if I would be deserted by the Doctor at home.
But now I was stuck in one of the safest places in the universe: inside the TARDIS. I was also stuck with one of the most brilliant minds of the universe. But why did I feel so uneasy about this whole day?
I drew in a long breath. I still felt like I was on the TARDIS. There was the same smell. Nevertheless, my hope was still quivering. I knew I should be thinking about happier things.
Of course the first thing that came to mind was the Doctor.
He's in the shower right now, I thought to myself. In just an hour or so, he would be lying in this bed next to me. I looked over at the blank space beside me, but then returned to stare at the dots glittering in the sky above me.
The Doctor was an extraordinary man. If I ever had to return to my pre-Doctor life at home with Mum, I knew I wouldn't be content. Pain welled up inside my chest immediately when I thought about not having the Doctor in my life. Knowing I could never step into the stars again or see this man who completely changed my life – it would be heartbreaking. I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let that happen.
My head snapped over to the door when I saw the Doctor's figure in the doorway. He stood there staring at me with just a light blue towel wrapped low around his hips, his mouth open slightly. His bare chest was pink and damp, and his hair was standing up glistening with water droplets.
"Rose!" He exclaimed. "I thought you were in the library!" A blush crept up onto his cheeks as my face copied. I glanced downwards at my hands quickly and giggled. He walked over to his wardrobe and searched for some lost pajamas. My eyes rested on his back. I didn't even care that I was staring anymore; he had an incredible back. I watched each muscle move as his right arm clawed through some clothes. His left hand was firmly set on keeping his towel up on his hips.
"Are you done in the bathroom?" I asked him once my mind became a little less fuzzy.
"What?" He turned around to me. I stared more. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm done in there."
I pulled myself off the bed. I made sure to grab a set of pajamas, so I wouldn't make the same mistake the Doctor had just made.
The bathroom was still fogged with steam from the Doctor's shower. The mirrors were clouded and I could smell his soap in the air. I tossed my clothes to the ground and stepped into the stream of hot water.
I couldn't get the image of the Doctor out of my head, standing in the doorway with only a towel covering him. He was dead sexy. I wished with all my might that I could just run into his arms and press my face into his damp skin. I would kiss him on his jaw and trace my fingers over his back muscles.
I was certain the Doctor cared about me. He probably loved me, but I was never quite sure if that love stretched beyond love for a companion.
Beads of hot water pounded down on my skin. My thoughts scorched my insides while the shower warmed my outside. After a few minutes of floating in the middle of my thoughts, I became too hot. I quickly scrubbed down my body and finished up my shower. It felt great to reach out into the cool, less-humid air outside the shower stall and wrap myself in a towel.
I dressed myself in knitted shorts and a tank top. I picked up a pink toothbrush that sat in a cup on the counter next to a blue toothbrush. After cleaning my teeth, I hung up my towel and exited the room.
When I walked into the bedroom, the Doctor was already in bed lying under the covers. He wasn't sleeping, but he was reading the same book he was reading earlier. He looked up at me when I walked in. My mind debated whether or not I should close the door behind me. Openness or privacy? I decided to at the last moment, and it clicked shut.
The Doctor grinned at me. Smiling a tad, I tucked a strand of wet hair behind my ear. I walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in. He finished the page he was reading, set it down on the bedside table, and turned off the light. It was fairly dark especially since my eyes were not adjusted to the light. I felt the Doctor turn onto his side facing me. At this moment, I knew I couldn't look at the Doctor without blushing and smiling like an idiot. I stretched out on my back looking up, once again, at the dotted ceiling.
Eventually, I glanced over at him to see if his eyes were closed, but he was just looking back at me.
"Space," I whispered.
There was silence. I thought the Doctor wasn't going to say anything, but then he responded, "And time."
"Yeah, time." I sighed aloud.
The Doctor placed his hand on my forearm right above my wrist. His thumb drew lazy circles around my skin. I gathered up all my courage and hope and looked him in the eyes. The expression upon his face was full of intensity.
My stomach clenched inwards, and I felt a fire ignite inside me. It trickled upwards until my throat was swollen and clenched at the same time. Half of me wanted to burst into tears and cry into his chest, hoping that he would wrap his arms around me. The other half wanted to giggle and squirm and passionately kiss him endlessly.
Or maybe everything all at once.
His thumb was now rubbing up and down the length of my arm. I stared at his shoulder because his expression was too powerful to look at.
Time. His voice resonated in my head. I want more time. More time here, in this bed, with him, under these stars. I knew this was too much to ask for. Our life couldn't always stop for this.
"I'm okay, you know," I told him. My eyes were looking up at him and focusing on keeping the tears from spilling over. I bit on the inside of my lip. I continued, "Being here, with you. It's not so bad."
"Really?" He responded. His thumb stopped moving for a moment only to continue circles again.
I nodded.
"I'm okay too," the Doctor agreed. He brushed a clump of hair away from my face while his fingers softly touched my forehead for a moment. He whispered, "Good night, Rose Tyler."
"Goodnight, my Doctor." I took one more glance up at the stars and turned over. I felt him move too.
It took me a while to reach a sleepy state because my mind was still running. Always running. I knew the Doctor was still awake, but I had been lying still for past few moments inching closer to my dreams. In my last bit of consciousness, I felt the Doctor lightly slide his arm around my back.
Thank you so much for your support. It really helps! -x