Chapter 3 –A parental figure's burden.
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There were times when Solo regretted that he had taken custody of Duo, not often, but sometimes.
Like when he had to turn down that job as a backup singer that he really wanted because he couldn't leave on tours or when his friends started talking about road trips and festivals that he couldn't go on. Being a single parent meant that you couldn't just pack up and leave whenever you felt like it.
The regret also came crawling when he couldn't give his brother what he needed. Money and good advice was often hard to come by, making him wish that he was just another single guy who only had to take care of himself.
This was one of those times.
He had just gotten back from work, expecting Duo to be asleep in his bed since he had school the next day. Instead he had been met by quiet laughter and the obvious sound of kissing from behind Duo's barely open door. Feeling almost afraid of what he would find, Solo pushed the door open. He breathed out a sigh in relief. At least they were dressed.
Duo was lying on his back on the bed with Wufei draped over his chest. Their arms and legs were awkwardly entwined and they were kissing wildly in a way that only inexperienced teenagers could. Wufei's tight, black t-shirt was pushed halfway up his back; leaving room for Duo's wandering hands.
'Damn, this is not going to be fun.' Solo thought as he knocked loudly against the doorframe.
The two boys on the bed startled, jumping away from each other. But no matter how fast they moved, Solo could still see the hand that worked its way out from the back of his brother's pants.
"Solo!" Duo looked absolutely humiliated as he blushed brightly.
Solo couldn't believe that he, of all people, would have to play the part of the responsible adult. Wasn't it just a few years ago that his mom had walked in on him as he made out with his first girlfriend? He sure remembered the embarrassment like it had been just yesterday. He could see the same emotions playing over Duo's face. The embarrassment over getting caught, of looking stupid in front of your date and the embarrassment over feeling embarrassed.
"It's late and I think it's time for Wufei to go home." He said calmly, hoping that he sounded like a reasonable adult and not like a tired twenty-four year old who would rather be anywhere else.
Wufei wordlessly rolled off the bed and got to his feet. The black t-shirt was quickly pushed back down and the long straps hanging off Wufei's baggy pants were hastily adjusted. The boy was clearly just as embarrassed as Duo but he was hiding it better. He grabbed his long black coat from where it was lying on top of one of the boxes serving as Duo's wardrobe. As he shrugged it on, Duo sat up on the edge of the bed. Solo tried not to notice how his little brother made sure that his large sweater was pooling over his lap.
Wufei picked up his bag from the floor, quietly fumbling with it as he lifted the strap over his head. Shyly they glanced at each other as they wavered back and forth as if they couldn't decide if they should share a good night kiss or not. Duo was still bright red in embarrassment, fingers pulling relentlessly at the hair on the back of his neck while Wufei was shifting restlessly like he couldn't make up his mind. Solo was just about to show some mercy and let them say good night in peace when Wufei darted forward, giving Duo a quick, shallow kiss. "Bye." He mumbled quietly before turning away.
Like a black shadow, the boy stormed past Solo out the door and seconds later they could hear the front door close behind him.
At that sound, Solo turned back to Duo.
The teen looked like he wanted to melt through the floor and never return. In fact, it look like he wasn't just embarrassed, he looked ashamed. The revelation did not sit well with Solo. He might not be fully comfortable with the whole gay thing, but he really didn't want his brother to feel ashamed for being himself.
Maybe it would have been better if someone more competent and -adult- was there to handle this. Duo needed to be reassured that there was nothing wrong with him and that what he felt was normal. It was just too bad that Solo didn't have any idea how to do that. But what he did know how to do, was how to be a big brother. "Well it looks like I got here just in time to protect my little brother's virtue. Maybe I should get you one of those chastity belts?" He said teasingly, feeling pleased as he watched Duo's shame drown in a wave of angry embarrassment.
"You're such an ass!" Duo shouted.
Solo grinned. "No, I'm just guarding yours."
"Get out!"
Snickering, Solo ducked out the doorway as a book came flying towards him.
Duo got up and slammed the door after him. A few seconds later, loud angry music started blasting from the bedroom.
Solo's smirk dropped with a sigh. The problem was temporarily avoided but far from solved. He was going to have to give Duo 'the talk'. God, that was going to be awkward for everyone. How the hell was he going to manage this? He didn't know how gay people had sex.
He could just mumble something about safe sex and hope that Wufei knew what he was doing. Solo sighed again and dismissed that idea as he remembered the fumbling kisses he had walked in on. Wufei obviously had about as much experience on sex as Duo did. Meaning none at all. This was going to have to be up to him.
God help him.
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The things you did for your family.
Solo sighed as he put a hand up against the glass door of the Adult store and pushed it open. The sound of a small bell was heard as he stepped in.
A man in his early thirties looked up from a magazine where he stood behind the counter. His hair was bleached to the point that it was more white than anything else with the exception of a black stripe going from his forehead and over his skull. "Can I help you?" The man asked, straightening up.
"Well, I- I was…" Solo twirled one of his dreads on the back of his neck around his finger as he wondered if Duo's stutter was genetic. "I need instructions or something for… um sex." He coughed un-convincingly. "Gay sex."
The man nodded businesses like. "We have a couple of really good books on the subject."
Solo breathed out a long sigh in relief. "Yeah books, book are good." He shifted his weight, glancing around the store. "Um, you wouldn't happen to have a starter kit or something?"
The guy looked amused. "A starter kit?"
Solo squirmed. "You know what I mean."
"No starter kit but if you tell me what you're interested in I can recommend several products."
"Good, great. Thanks."
"No problem. So how far have you gone and what are you interested in doing?"
Solo gave the man a blank look before understanding rose. "No! It's not for me, it's for my brother."
The shopkeeper nodded with a teasing smile. "Of course, so what is your brother interested in doing?"
Solo completely missed the sarcasm as he groaned. "I don't know and I really don't want to know. I just need to make sure that he'll be okay."
The man gave him a long look before nodding. "Right. Well, first of all, how old is your brother?"
"Fifteen."
"He just came out?"
Solo shook his head. "Nah, he told me about… two, three years ago."
"So he's just gotten sexually active?"
Solo shivered unhappily. "God I hope not." He so did not want to even think about what that kid was doing to his brother. "He just got a boyfriend and I figured…" He trailed off.
The white haired man nodded. "That they were going to end up doing it sooner or later."
"Yeah." He said weakly.
"So I'm assuming that you don't know what to tell him since you have never had anal sex yourself."
"Well I've done it- but to a girl! Line up and push in, you know."
The guy on the other side of the counter stared at him like he had just announced that babies made excellent fire wood. "You- just…just never do that again. Okay?" He said insistently.
Solo nodded sharply, almost feeling the need to step back.
"Right, thank god you didn't tell your brother that because seriously, if rushed, someone could get really hurt." He gave him a hard look. "And believe me, the anus is really not a place you want bleeding wounds. If deep enough the damage might even become permanent."
A cold fear griped Solo as he leaned against the counter. "So what do I say? What do I do?"
"Make sure he knows what he's doing and knows that you are there for him if he needs someone to talk to."
"Right." Solo nodded, praying that all this wouldn't be as horrible as he thought it would be. "So." He took a deep breath. "How is it done?"
"Ok, think of it like this." The shopkeeper leaned to the side, fishing up something out of a white paper bag.
A donut was placed in the middle of the counter. There was no mistaking what it was supposed to be.
"So there are pretty strong muscles here, right." The guy said, circling the hole in the middle.
Solo nodded. He was never eating donuts again.
"These muscles are to make sure that nothing falls out and only relaxes when it's supposed to."
Solo nodded and wished the guy hadn't chosen a doughnut with chocolate frosting.
"So you have to make sure that the muscles can relax." The bell above the door rang as the door opened and a young man in a leather jacket walked in. Solo blushed in embarrassment as his lesson was given a curious look.
The shopkeeper didn't as much as glance up. "First you have to make sure that your partner is relaxed, if he or she isn't then it's not going to work."
"Ok, relaxed, check."
"Yeah, relaxed and secure." He paused and turned to accept the money being pushed his way by the suddenly appearing teenage boy who was holding a package of condoms in a iron grip. As soon as the money exchanged ownership, the blushing boy just about ran for the door. Solo could sympathize; he wanted to do the same. The white hair man smiled fondly as he watched him go before turning back to Solo. "Right, where were we? Ah, then you can start to carefully touch the surrounding." The guy slowly pushed his thumbs against the edges of the hole. "Then when the muscles are relaxed you use the lube and gently push a finger inside to touch the inner walls."
Solo wondered just how he was going to tell Duo to put a finger up his boyfriend's ass with a straight face.
"When you feel that you can move the finger around freely you gently insert a second finger. I suggest starting with just the tip because some people have a habit of tensing up when you add a finger." He looked up at Solo with two fingers pushed down into the doughnut hole. "You with me so far?"
"Yeah, gentle until the muscles relaxes, check." Solo repeated like a good boy.
"Right, now depending on the size of the dick you are going to have to keep doing this until you are sure that it will fit. It's better to overdo it than to…" He trailed off, pushing three fingers into the hole, making the frosting crack as the doughnut started to split.
A cold shiver went down Solo's back and he nodded almost frantically.
"Great." The guy announced brightly. "So let's see if we can find some good products for your brother."
Solo was handed a white shopping basket and then led over to a shelf filled with different tubes and bottles.
"Now the oiled based lube is excellent but is used more for jacking off then sex since it has a habit of staining the sheets and corroding condoms, not really a good idea. Silicone based lube on the other hand ." He pointed to one of the rows of colorful tubes. "The kiwi one smells great but it's awful when you get it in your mouth. The taste gets stuck in the back of your throat." He informed Solo with a wrinkled nose.
Solo choked on his own spit at the very unwanted mental image those words produced.
The shopkeeper paid him no mind as he went on. "I would recommend strawberry since it's a familiar scent that a lot of people associate with happy memories which might help them relax."
Solo nodded and added strawberries to the list of things he was never eating again. A pink tube was dropped into his shopping basket.
"Might as well take two or he might run out before the big finale." The shopkeeper said, tapping his chin. "A natural one without perfume might be a good idea if your brother finds strawberry a bit too feminine."
Solo didn't protest as another tube made its way down into the basket.
"Condoms are also very important considering what the anus is usually used for. You can pick up a lot of nasty infections through your dick, but we'll get to that later. Now on to the fun part."
Solo wasn't sure he wanted to know what the fun part was as he held the shopping basket in a desperate grip.
They moved further into the store, stopping in front of a bookshelf. Solo tried not to look at the big breasted blow up doll hanging next to it.
The white haired man sighed airily as he looked over the titles before setting his eyes on a slim pocketbook. "This is a really good book about coming out and first times." He said, picking it up to show Solo the front page where two smiling half naked young men were sitting curled up around each other. "There are a bunch of short stories where different people describe their first crushes, first loves, first blowjobs, first anal, first-"
"Yeah great." Solo cut in, not wanting to hear what more that list could contain. "I'll take it."
The book was dropped down into the basket. The shopkeeper moved further down the shelves until he reached a big golden book with the title 'Gay Sex: The complete manual.'
"Now this book, on the other hand, is more erotically focused with instructions and-"
Solo just jabbed the basked forward in a demanding gesture that was totally spoiled by his pale, haunted face.
The shopkeeper happily dropped the thick book on top of the other one and moved on. Solo dragged his feet after him, trying to ignore the illustration on the cover of the book in the basket.
"This on the other hand is a book I think you should read." He held up a slim book with the title 'Your child and the world' that he dropped down into the basket without Solo's consent. "It's very informative."
Solo didn't say a word; he just followed his guide further into the store.
"Now this is not mandatory but in my experience it's a great help if you're nervous before your first time." The other man stopped and let his arm fly out in a wide bow.
Solo stared in horror at the shelf covered wall in front of him, filled with sex toys in all shapes and sizes.
"So how tall is your brother?"
Solo looked away from an intimidating plastic cock the size of his forearm that seemed to be glaring at him. "Huh? Why?"
"Kind of need to know what size I'm looking for." The white haired guy slowly dragged his eyes over the toys.
"Um." Trying not to think about why the guy wanted to know, Solo vaguely raised his hand up to the top of his forehead.
"Pretty tall for a fifteen year old." The shop keeper remarked as he turned back to the toys.
Solo felt like he was hallucinating, or having a very detailed nightmare.
"This is a great first toy. " The white haired man held up a dildo about the size of his hand. "It's pretty slim and shouldn't prove to be painful to insert. It's also very flexible which makes the movements more gentle."
Solo gave up on trying to pretend that he was hallucinating. There was no point in trying to ignore that there was a guy in a t-shirt with the words 'Closets are for clothes' who was wiggling a blue dildo around to show just how flexible it was.
"But since he's so young I would probably recommend this mini butt plug instead. It's created with virgins in mind." He carefully picked up a slim blue plastic toy. It was a bit shorter than the dildo and was bent and had a strange bulge at the end. "It's shaped to go in easily and press against your prostate. But make sure to tell the kid to go easy because it's a bit wider before you hit the bottom."
A middle age man gave Solo a very strange look as he passed them on his way over towards the porn movies. Solo wanted to sink through the floor.
The shops keeper seemed to enjoy Solo's discomfort and went on to demonstrate another, slightly bigger cone shaped toy. "This butt plug is a bit more focused on self pleasure. It has ribs that enhance the experience and the best thing is that it has this suction cub in the bottom so you can attach it to a flat surface. This allows you to move around more easily."
The mental image that followed was very unwelcome.
"So which one do you think would be best for your brother?"
Solo wanted to be sainted for putting himself through this. "The virgin one." He mumbled, pointing vaguely at the toy in the middle. It looked the least intimidating with its light blue plastic.
"Excellent choice."
A package of condoms and a bottle disinfection to clean the toy after use also ended up in the basket before Solo finally reached the cash register.
The things you did for your kid.
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Duo grunted a greeting when he came home and dropped his backpack on the floor.
Solo listened as the refrigerator got plundered, waiting until Duo appeared again a few minutes later, chewing on what was left of his sandwich.
"Hey Duo, catch!" He called out, throwing the tied up plastic bag to his brother.
His brother caught it easily, un-tying it to see what it contained with a curious look.
Solo sat down on the couch to watch the explosion that was sure to follow. After the day's humiliation he felt very justified to embarrass Duo in return.
Duo's eyes went wide as a bright blush spread over his face.
"The big book is a manual with a lot of interesting pictures." Pictures that might just give Solo nightmares. He had forced himself to browse through the book since he wanted to know at least vaguely what kind of book he had given away. It had been... memorable.
"Y- you bought me porn and condoms?" Duo screeched.
"Sex manuals and a couple of lube bottles and one of those, what they called, butt plugs."
Duo dropped the bag in horror, staring down at it like it was a snake about to strike.
"Oh, didn't see that one did you?" Solo leered.
"You are such a bastard!" Duo screamed in a traumatized voice as he left Solo snickering in the living room. Shortly after a door slammed close before loud angry music once again boomed through the apartment.
Solo noticed in amusement that Duo had taken the bag with him. "He is so gone use it." Solo snickered to himself as he went to get his guitar. "Hey Duo, I'm going to take off now! I'll be away with the band for four hours so you have plenty of time to do things that you don't want to do while someone is home!"
"Fuck you!"
Solo smirked at the angry response."Just read the instructions in the big book before you do anything, I don't want to spend all day at the emergency room while you get stitches where the sun don't shine!"
Something heavy was thrown against the inside of the door. "Shut up!"
"Bye Du-Du!" Solo sing-songed as he closed the front door loudly to make sure that Duo knew that he had left. Because no matter how much he teased his little brother he did want him to experiment so that he knew what he was doing when the time came. And it was going to come.
Solo remembered very well how it was to be sixteen and in love.
That there wasn't a girl involved didn't exactly slow down the process. Girls were often taught by society that they shouldn't want sex and were scared of getting pregnant. Boys on the other hand thought with their dick, Solo had no illusions about that.
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Duo glared at the white plastic bag on his bed. He could not believe that his brother had gone and gotten him porn and a sex toy.
"No fucking way." He grumbled, pulling out his chair with the intention of taking on his homework. He got his books out and his notepad open. He could still see the plastic bag in the corner of his eye. Duo restlessly wiggled his pencil, glancing over at it.
Maybe he should at least take a look, it wouldn't hurt and Solo would never know.
The sound of the plastic bag was like a thunder storm as he slowly opened it.
He ignored the condoms, the plastic tubes and the light blue box in the bottom, focusing instead on the books. The book with the smiling boys seemed a lot less intimidating than the big golden one with naked men on it.
The book had the title 'There Are No Normal People' with the under title in small curvy letters 'We are all a bit queer one way or the other.'
'A person who calls him or herself "normal" is a person who consider (considers) themselves to be a liar. There is no such thing as a normal human being. We are all unique.' Was the sole words on the first page, quoted by someone who's name Duo found vaguely familiar. He flipped past the first couple of pages, catching a few brief words about how he wasn't alone and how he was perfect just the way he was. Duo had heard it all before and didn't stop until he reached the novels.
'Hi, my name is Kyle and when I was fourteen, a new boy joined our football team.' Duo leaned back against the wall, bringing his knees up as he started to read.
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An hour later Duo had read several short stories when he found himself glancing over at the plastic bag again. He was really curious about the rest of the things.
He checked the time. He still had plenty of time before Solo came back.
Slowly he fished up the package in the bottom, eyeing the picture on it suspiciously. The box opened with a snap, making him jump slightly. He eased out the plastic mold holding the blue… thing. It looked like a shorter, lumpier and thicker version of ET's finger… and it was blue. It was made in a smooth see-through plastic that reminded Duo of the towel hooks in the bathroom. There was a bump at the end, then the toy went kind if slim only to grow wide further down before going slim again just before the round foot.
The box didn't really come with any instructions except that he should prepare carefully to prevent injuries.
How the hell did you prepare for something like this?
Reluctantly he got the golden book out and started flipping through it randomly. Most things were very intimidating and he barely had the guts to look at the more revealing pictures. Then, pretty early in the book he found a chapter about toys. Carefully reading the instructions he tried to figure out how to do this.
So he was supposed to relax the anal opening... god, he couldn't believe he was doing this. He almost put the book away but then he remembered just why he had to know this. Wufei. Sex with Wufei.
The book suddenly felt a lot more interesting as he read through the instructions again.
The blue butt plug lay waiting next to him.
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'Sex toys are fucking expensive' Solo thought as he looked through all the bills on the table in front of him. His morning coffee stood cold and abandoned next to him as he tiredly tried to figure out how much money he had and how much he was going to need.
The electricity bill was going to show up any day now and depending on how much it was, he could ether get Duo a wardrobe or sell his camera to pay it.
After electricity and paying the rent, food was going to have to be the first priority. It didn't help that Duo ate like a fucking horse.
Maybe he should start making vegetarian food? Vegetables were a lot cheaper than meat.
He made a thoughtful sound. That was a thought. He did have a lot of friends who were vegetarians, they would happily supply him with all the recipes that he needed.
He wondered what Duo was going to think about his idea. Teenagers in general weren't all that fond of vegetables or healthy nutritious in any way. But on the other hand, Duo wasn't unreasonable and he would understand why. Not to mention that their mother had been a vegetarian and Duo was always happy to re-live some of their mothers quirks.
But meat really wasn't their biggest expense and that idea wasn't going to save the day. Solo sighed as he shifted a few of the bills around.
There weren't a lot of things left to cut from. He had already sold the car since gas and insurance were so expensive, the computer was long gone and so was the leather couch.
And damn it, Duo needed a new phone. And a wardrobe and a desk that wasn't made of scraps and boxes. Thank god that he had already set aside the money for winter boots and-fuck, he hoped that Duo would stop growing soon or he was going to need to replace all his clothes by summer.
Did Duo need the wardrobe more than the phone? He didn't want to ask because then his brother would say that he didn't need ether of them and be all guilty for destroying his phone and then he would start talking about getting a job and then he would get angry at Solo for telling him no and- god damn it! Why did people get children? It was like you couldn't win no matter what you did or how much you twisted and turned to please them.
Solo glanced up from the bills as Duo dragged his feet into the kitchen. He didn't miss that Duo was moving a bit stiffly but pretended not to notice. There were some things you just did not tease anyone about. Especially not your insecure little brother.
"You meeting goth boy today?" He asked casually, pushing the papers out off the way.
Duo nodded, eyes hidden behind his bangs as he sat down on the other side of the table with a bowl of cereals.
"You are going to need a haircut soon." Solo remarked with a smile, wanting to ruffle his hair like he had done when Duo had been a little kid.
"Growing it." Duo mumbled around his spoon.
Solo paused. "Really? I thought you were going to keep up the styled modern thing." He really had not agreed with Duo's decision to cut off his hair and he hadn't thought that it was very healthy to get rid of something that you put so much time and memories into just because you wanted to fit in.
Solo suddenly had the feeling that he was watching an important turning point in Duo's life.
"Wufei likes it long." His brother said with a goofy smile.
Solo leaned back in his chair, looking at the boy on the other side of the table who was smiling stupidly down into his breakfast cereals.
Well what do you know.
Solo knew that he met Wufei on a couple of occasions before, but knew nothing about him. Well besides the fact that he always seemed to wear black and that he, according to their drummer, hit very hard when you pissed him off. Solo had to confess that while he didn't particularly like the kid and was never going to forgive him for all the heartbreak he had put Duo through -the kid might not be all that bad.
Maybe, just maybe, Wufei was what Duo needed right now. Someone who didn't try to fit in and didn't pretend to be someone he wasn't. Being in the closet couldn't be healthy, that much he could figure out on his own. Maybe Wufei would help Duo to see that.
He remembered far too well when Duo told him he was gay and how he was never going to be out. And while Solo didn't really think that it was a good idea to be open in school he was glad that Duo was becoming more comfortable with the thought of being different.
He was just so worried about how people would treat Duo if he came out. Teenagers weren't known for being the most understanding of people. It would break his heart to see Duo become alienated from people he had once called friends. Fuck! Having kids really was like having your soul walk around outside your body and you could hardly do a thing to protect it.
In a way, Solo knew that he had made things more difficult for Duo. He had taken him from a group of tight friends who had all known Duo since kindergarten and taken him to a completely new town, a new school full of new people.
Duo had been happy to leave his foster home but not his friends. They had several fights over the subject before Duo realized that they really didn't have a choice.
Solo had tried to get a job in his old home town but had found nothing that gave him the kind of money he needed to support a kid. So Duo had to move.
Duo needed the support of his friends at this point of his life but… maybe Wufei was stepping in to fill the space.
Solo took a sip of his cold coffee with a hard look on his face. The little freak just better treat his brother like a prince or they were going to have a problem.
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AN
I had so much fun writing this, you just have no idea. Please let me know what you thought about the embarrassing torture.
The adult version can be found if you follow the link on my profile to my Gundam Wing universe page
A big thanks and a Sorry for not responding to Cinnamon Selkie, korotoni, jazzy, CloudnineCK, anf600, P. Cythera, Cristalake, Gintsumi and snowdragonct.I really should respond but at the moment it stands between that and backing my bag for a weekend trip to see John Cleese live. I'm sorry, but John Cleese just beats everything.