I lied. Sorry. This is the last chapter. And then I'll actually finish The Swap. And then I won't write anymore until I finish them before I put them on. Kaybye enjoy!

Chapter Sixteen

"Saved our…Saved your…by…"

"I was…not myself, you see."

So there Cas, an angel of the Lord, was. He had drunk over seventy bottles of whiskey already. It wasn't the cheap kind that took a while to get you drunk, either. It was the heavy stuff, the quality stuff.

And he hadn't even paid for it.

It was so un-angle. So un-Castiel.

If the guy wasn't in such shitty shape, Gabriel might have even been proud.

But, he was floundering, and something had to be done. The stupid Winchester had a hold on him, and he knew just the way to fix that. So what if Castiel told him not to get involved? He was just doing his job as an older brother, after all.

They'd thank him later. Really, they would.

So taking one last look at his miserable younger brother curled on the ratty, threadbare bed of the rundown motel, he disappeared.

Castiel didn't even notice. He was watching some random television show and wishing his life was as simple as TV. If so, then everything would work out. They'd find some stupid loophole and his mind would be better. They'd find some stupid loophole and he would no longer feel an itching desire to kill the love of his life. They'd find some stupid loophole and no one would question it.

But his life wasn't TV. If it was, who would have wanted to watch it? Everything just came to shit, in the end. And if he hadn't seen it all first hand, he would have never believed in a higher power, Heaven, God, any of it.

Because how could all this shit happen in world where someone watched over everything?

But now he was rambling. Rambling even in his own mind. Now that's an accomplishment, isn't it? Sleeping would have been nice right about now. Or so he assumed, seeing as he had never really experienced sleeping. But from what he heard it was like a temporary escape. And that was just what he needed, an—"

"—escape? Just a quick fix? That's all it was, that's all you did it for? And now you're going to be fucked up the rest of your life. I hope the heroin was worth it, you fuck!"

…Heroin? That was a drug, wasn't it?

Was it really an escape, though?

"You didn't!" Dean exclaimed. Cas couldn't have done drugs. That was so…un-Cas. But he wasn't answering, and that ignited a worry deep within Dean. He couldn't deal with any more withdrawals and addictions and rehabilitations. "Did you?"

Cas hung his head, just worrying Dean all the more. "…Not exactly."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Cas had gone to the shadiest part of town he could find. He had asked around, but no one really seemed to want to sell drugs to some random in a trenchcoat. It seemed to have a suspiciously authoritative vibe to them.

That did not dishearten Castiel, though. He was determined to find this so-called escape. And soon he did. He didn't even have to pay. He just took it. No fuss, either. When he saved the supplier of the substance from an aggressive and large man with his "mojo," he dropped his things and ran.

And his things included the heroin, much to Castiel's pleasure.

Soon everything was set up. The rope-like band was tied around his arm, pushing his veins near the surface of his thin, overly fragile skin. The fluid was melted and sucked into the needle.

He could hear Jimmy Novak inside his head, telling him not to do this. Reminding him that it wasn't just his body. He pushed it away, who cared anyway? It wasn't like the man was ever getting that body back and living to tell the tale.

He jabbed the needle into his skin, not even bothering to be gentle.

Castiel had expected euphoria. He had expected relief from emotional pain and baggage. His wishes were not granted, though. He felt no different, besides a slight buzzing in his ears. He was sure that wasn't the intended effect of such a drug, though.

Soon the needle was filled again, this time with more liquid. And in the needle went, harder this time. A voice in his head told him to stop, but he didn't listen. It didn't matter if it was Jimmy or his inner consciousness. Castiel didn't care anymore, he just wanted everything to be gone.

If it wasn't a sin, he would have killed himself months ago.

But as he finally started to feel something rushing through his body, a burning sensation, but a pleasant one, he was yanked away. It was gone, and something else was there. A body. Gabriel. Of course.

He scowled. The relief had been so close.

"What do you w—"

He was cut off by the sight of a familiar face. Dean's face.

"No! I'll kill him! Take me away, take me back! NO!"

"Don't worry, Cas. I'm fixing you," said his older brother.

And suddenly he wasn't Cas anymore. At least not the Cas he remembered.

"Okay, so his intentions were good. But Cas, do I need to remind you which road was paved with them?"

"You don't understand, Dean. He wasn't lying. He wasn't even exaggerating. I am fixed. I am better."

Dean was a born skeptic. He couldn't help it. Growing up the way he did, anyone would learn that miracles don't happen without something satanic behind it. And to him, this looked like one of those times.

"How?"

"When he took me there, he temporarily erased my memories. When he did, they went back to Heaven. And Uriel wasn't aware, so he didn't have them. They went back to the genuinely good part of Heaven, the part where every wants to go to. They went to my Heaven. Dean, my Heaven is you."

He would be flattered, he would think it's sweet, but now was not the time. All Dean could think about was the fact that Castiel had tried to kill him. The fact that Castiel hated him. The fact that Castiel had done drugs to get rid of any thoughts of him.

"So?"

"So. Since my Heaven was filled with what I remembered you as before that machine changed you in my mind, my memories remembered too. Memories are funny that way, Dean. They can learn, they can adapt, they can remember. They remembered you, and they changed back to the way they were."

"Everything's just the way it was, then?"

Castiel smiled. It wasn't the time to smile. He knew that he shouldn't have smiled, considering everything that had happened. But as he thought about it, he was so relieved. Not in the way he had wanted to be just mere months ago, the way he wanted relief of death. He was relieved that it had all ended. All the evil, all the cruelty.

And yes, he was relieved that everything was just the way it was.

But he knew that Dean wouldn't accept that. He knew that he Dean wouldn't accept him. And that might be heartbreaking for Cas, but he would tough it out, and they'd get through it. And eventually they would be the way there were, Cas could feel it.

Eight months later, two men walked through a park.

They knew the park well, though neither had been for a very long time. And as they walked, many memories came back to them.

They remembered the first time they came to the park, how they had felt mildly uncomfortable. Neither was sure if what they were doing was right, for more reasons than one. They didn't know how to act, they didn't know what to say, but despite all that they were glad to be there.

They remembered coming back just a few days later, and they were already more comfortable around each other. They held hands and ignored the looks they got. Who cared, really? Not them, not anymore.

They remembered the first time they had a picnic there, how the first had suggested it, but the other had rejected the idea, thinking it too girly. The brown haired man had kept the idea in the back of him mind though. It would be fun, he said. It would be nice, he said. It would be their secret, he said. And so finally the other gave in. And they brought a blanket, and they brought a basket, and they brought food. Then they sat down, and it was fun. And it was nice. And it was their secret. They never told anyone, but they both kept the memory.

They remembered the first time they came there after dark. They swam in the pond, and they didn't care if it was dirty. They were both buck naked, and they felt no shame. They had seen it all before, after all. The splashed and they laughed and tried to be quiet but they couldn't. they kissed while treading water in the middle, but eventually doing both got too tiring and they went underwater and kissed some more. Their limbs intertwined and it was like they were one and the same. They stayed there all night and got out around four, both of their teeth chattering through goofy grins.

They remembered the first time they camped there, and how they weren't supposed to. They were only supposed to camp in the campgrounds, not in public areas such as parks. But they did anyway. They didn't bring a tent, or food, or even sleeping bags. They brought a blanket, the same blanket they brought to that picnic. They lay down next to each other and looked up. They talked for hours, they discussed everything from childhood to their futures, and they fell asleep with their foreheads pressed together.

They remembered the way they were both so different before they met each other, and how in just a few months everything changed. They would never have thought they would do the things they did, but there they were in the park thinking about it all.

They got to the end of the pathway, they were on the edge of the pond. They stood in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable or forced. Then they looked up at each other, green eyes meeting blue, and something clicked within each other their minds.

They were one again, their lips passionately locked, both disregarding everything else. And together they fell into the pond, letting the memories of everything that had happened to them wash over their bodies and engulf them.

It didn't matter, nothing mattered. They were Dean and Castiel. They were the hunter and the angel. They were bonded. No one would be able to break what they had. Just let them try.