Hello everyone and welcome back to-
OH MY GOD HOLD THE PHONE
I JUST HATCHED A SHINY PICHU AFTER 37 TRIES
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAA-
Okay, so as some of you can tell from that little thing above, I've caught Shiny Pokémon Fever. I recently became OBSESSED because I was chain fishing in Pokémon Y and caught a shiny Relicanth and now I've become even more obsessed with breeding shinies (already told about the Pichu, and I hatched a shiny Skrelp after 57 tries). And I've also become hooked on this anime called Shaman King… Like seriously, I'm obsessed. I watched 20 episodes in one day while keeping a penny shoved into the circle pad of my 3DS so that I auto-ran to hatch more shiny Pokémon…
Geez. I need a life.
And a guardian ghost like freaking Amidamaru.
That'd be epic.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA, Shaman King, Pokémon, Digimon, or aaaaaaany other fandom thrown into this story! (Or even mentioned)
First up is NatDinoalchemist!
Dear Roy and Ed:
Do you guys want to ride my tamed Tyrannosaurus? The only people he kills are people who are cruel (cough... Tucker.. cough) and is named Gojira.
Edward: HELL YEAH I WANNA RIDE A FREAKIN DINOSAUR
Roy: …*poker face* Sure?
Dinosaurs are just fabulous. They remind me of Fossil Fighters. Which reminds me of Dinosaur King. Which also reminds me of Shaman King.
Goshdarn this show.
Next up is TheKawaiiPatato!
FINE THEN! Percy: *douses Mustang* Me: *rides in on horse and steals Hawkeye's guns* WHAT NOW?!
Roy: *shoots evil death glare before clapping hands together and evaporating all the water and moisture in the area*
Edward: *munching on popcorn* Wow. You must've pissed him off if he's using the clapping transmutation.
Dear really anyone who gives a care,
Darn you all. Because of reading this fanfiction, I've managed to find alternate realities. I managed to somehow find an alternate reality where all of you exist but with your Nullmetal Alchemist personalities instead. I think it would be a learning experience to meet yourself. And argue with yourself.
SO HERE YA GO! *shoves Nullmetal Ed, Al, and Mustang through portal*
I left the portal open so you can send him back as soon as you like. Which I have a feeling will be soon. I would want them out too. Just at least a minute of conversation between the Eds, the Als and the Mustangs, please because I feel like this will be amusing.
Edward: Hm… Well, none of you look very different (besides the '03 style)…
NMA Ed: …Is this another faker?
Edward: Uh… No, I'm an alternate universe version of you.
NMA Ed: Is that so… Have you tried ruling the world with a robot army yet?
Edward: …What?
NMA Ed: You know, use your magic plus a Philosopher's Stone to make a robot army!
Edward: It's not magic, it's alche-
NMA Ed: Nope. Still magic.
NMA Al: *sighs loudly* Don't mind him. He's just psychotic. And won't stop calling alchemy magic.
Alphonse: *surprised* Well, you and your brother certainly sound different from us…
NMA Al: Yeah, did you not hit puberty early in this universe?
Alphonse: Uh… We were about ten when we performed the Human Transmutation, so no…
NMA Al: *shrugs* At least your brother isn't a cannibal.
Edward and Alphonse: *stare* What?
NMA Roy: *storms over to FMA Roy* I am THOROUGHLY ashamed in you, my handsome clone!
Roy: *gives odd look* I'm not your clone… I'm just an alternate universe version of you.
NMA Roy: Same difference. *still glaring* Do you even know what day it is?
Roy: As far as I know, there's nothing special going on today…
NMA Roy: *gasps* HOW COULD YOU, CLONE?! IT'S NATIONAL MAKE FUN OF MEXICANS DAY! *forces sombrero onto Roy's head*
Roy: Uh… What?
NMA Roy: *grumpy* Do you even know how to sing Disney?
Roy: No, and why wou-
NMA Roy: *bursts into song* Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns!
Roy: Why are you-
NMA Roy: Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I've ev-
NMA Riza: *sighs before tripping from behind*
NMA Roy: LIEUTENANT YOU INTERRUPTED MY SONG AGAIN
NMA Riza: Hush, sir, before I put a bullet in your skull. *dull stare*
NMA Roy: *pouts* Okaaaaay… Fine…
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Winry and Roy, I have someone I think you should meet. His name is Leo Valdez, and he's a son of Hephaestus. And he has a giant bronze magical mechanical dragon named Festus. He is also one of the rare Hephaestus children to be born with the ability to control fire.
Winry: *stares at Festus and eyes sparkle before fangirling*
Roy: *watches her and sweatdrops*
Ed, I'd like you to meet my new big brother, Perseus Jackson. I think you two would hit it off.
Percy, meet Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist and Hero of Amestris. Edward Elric, meet Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon and savior of Olympus. Have fun.
Edward: So… You control water and stuff?
Percy: Yeah, pretty much. What about you?
Edward: Eh… I can manipulate pretty much anything I know the composition of.
Percy: Okay, that's cool… But you should definitely try making your jacket blue. It would be awesome.
Edward: Eh… No. I might try it, but… Red and black are just perfect.
Hawkeye, I think you'd get along with Annabeth for some reason. (*coughbothextremelyintelligentandterrifyingwhenfightingcoughhackcough*) She's a daughter of Athena, and also the architect for the redesigned Olympus.
Riza: Ah, that sounds interesting. I think she and the Elric brothers would also get along fine, considering they like to construct a lot of things… *small smile*
Really hope that was accurate. I haven't read the Percy Jackson series in forever and a day, and I'm not even going to try writing as Leo, because I never even finished the first book in the Heroes of Olympus series. I might try again later, but… Eh.
Anyways, next up is SapphireClaw!
Dear Al (aka my precious baby) and Ed (aka the adorable little sh*t/prince dork): what if I just appeared in front of you and announced that I shipped Elricest?
Alphonse: …
Edward: Look, I normally respect what people are into and all that, but that is just sick.
SIKE, don't worry I don't ship it. It is my Notp. But do you wanna know some other scary ships? There's also Riza/Al and Roy/Al (like wtf).
Alphonse: …I'm just gonna… Yeah… *walks away while gagging*
Edward: …*follows Al*
Dear Roy (aka the sexy beast/king dork) and Riza (aka my Queen): did you know that some fans ship Roy/Winry? And Riza/Winry... It's scary and it makes me uncomfortable.
Edward: REALLY. EW.
Winry: Uh… I'm flattered, but… No.
Roy: She's half my age! *annoyed*
Riza: She's half my age as well. And to be frank, I would say I'm at least fairly straight.
Again, I respect other people's ships… Though some of them kind of force me to do a double take. Like how my friend told me she met an FMA fangirl in the manga section of a book store who shipped ScarEd.
Just…
Yeah. Made me stop and blink in confusion for a moment (I mean if you ship it that's okay too).
Anyways, next up is adventuremaker16!
Dear Ed and Al,
Who would win in a death match: Ash's Charizard or Taichi's WarGreymon?
Alphonse: I'd have to say WarGreymon…
Edward: Are you kidding me? WarGreymon, definitely. Even though Charizard is badass, I'm not sure it could stand up to a Terra Force from WarGreymon.
Sorry, Charizard! Love ya, but… *sigh* WarGreymon would win. He has a more powerful arsenal at his disposal, plus the shield. Next up is… Oh god. *sigh* Next up is GLaDOS…
(Uses the Aperture Science hand held portal device to send the FMA cast into Aperture) if you pass all the tests I have created, then CAKE will be served.
(The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie)
Edward: Oh screw this… *uses alchemy to make holes in walls in order to escape* Ey Colonel, think you can handle the robot lady?
Roy: Sure.
…GLaDOS. You evil little thing. I love you, yet I hate you. *slaps before hugging even though is hugging a machine*
Next up is ValleyOfDeath!
Dear anyone who gives a shit,
*shows my newest fanfic, which is basically a few ways to screw with Ed* Good? Bad? God awful and needs to burn in the fires of hell...?
Edward: Fic about me that doesn't involve me trying to have sex with Colonel Bastard or my brother? Wonderful. All the short jokes… *eyes narrow* But why in the hell is everyone so obsessed with detailing my nightmares? Really? *scowls*
Sheska: *pulls on the serious face* The grammar and spelling are rather good, though choices in wording could be worked on. The chapter lengths are excellent for that kind of fanfiction. Each chapter has been relevant pertaining to the subject matter so far, which is great. Overall, quite good. Not the absolute best drabble fanfiction, as I believe they're called, that I have ever read, but it is certainly up there and is a vast improvement from your older works. *ahem*
Everyone: *stares*
Sheska: *back to normal* Huh? What is it?
Me: …I think you'd make a fine critic, Sheska. *in awe* (A/N: Literally in awe because I have a ton of split mindsets and the critic mindset hasn't shown her face around here in AGES.)
Dear Ed,
*shows him what he looks like as a girl through fan art* What do you think?
Edward: …That's just… Awkward. On so many levels.
Dear General Raven,
...*I sigh* I see... Still, I don't see why you'd sacrifice everyone in your country for that stupid reason... I don't get you humans, always wanting to go against nature... clinging to life when it is only natural for you to die...
Raven: Death is a frightening thing. Though it's one of the very few things that happens to everyone and every living being, it's the most uncertain, unpredictable thing there is.
Dear Al,
*I glomp and kiss you before running away* HAHA! I GOT HIM FIRST YOU CRAZY FANGIRLS! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! *continues to run like a mothatrucka*
Mei and I: *run after while screaming like madwomen*
Other rabid Alphonse fangirls: *chase while foaming at the mouth*
Alphonse: What… Just happened…?
Dear May,
*pulls out picture of Al (without armor) cuddling with Julia* SEE?! *shows her*
Mei: *eye twitches* ALPHONSE, WHAT DOES THIS WOMAN MEAN TO YOU?!
Alphonse: N-nothing! Sh-she's just a good friend! We helped save her people! *flustered*
Dear Father,
Actually, bet's off... Turns out my soul is worth jack crap .-. And I don't have it...
Father: I see.
Well, you can be soulless right along with season six Sammy over there… *points* That's the soulless corner, by the way. It has various other characters I can't be bothered to recall right at this second.
Next up is LivesForTheReveal!
Dear Homunculus/Father,
Did you ever consider Hohenheim to be your friend?
Father: *scoffs* No. Though we did chat to ease my boredom, friends are not something I desire.
Greed: *singsong* Liiiiiiiar…
Father: *annoyed* Greed, silence before I absorb your Stone.
Greed: NEVER GONNA CATCH ME, OLD MAN *flees*
Dear Mai,
What would you do if you became the empress of Xing?
Mei: Um… Well, I definitely would have taken care of my clan-as well as a few other clans on the verge of being wiped out-and… I'm not sure what I would do from there, really. Make things more fair in the law system and social caste, probably. Though Ling is a really good emperor and he made a lot of good changes.
Next up is 9foxgrl!
Olivier,
I found this picture of you meeting Elsa, she looks scared of you.
Olivier: *scoffs* Should be. I'm the real Ice Queen around here.
Miles,
Are you the voice of reason for the General like Riza is for Roy?
Miles: *sweatdrops* No. Though the General asks me for advice, I really don't have that much influence…
Ed,
Meet Allen Walker, he can see trapped souls and can set them free...I wonder if that would work on the Philosopher's Stone?
Edward: So ah… I hear you have an Asian guy who is a jerk and calls you short?
Allen: Yup. Kanda. Ugh.
Edward: And they pair you with him even though it makes no sense?
Allen: Right again.
Edward: Trust me, I know how you feel.
Roy,
Do you really think you have it bad? Look at Komui's office! *literally a sea of (neglected) paperwork* You can't see the floor!
Roy: *sweatdrops* That looks like my office after Havoc and Breda pulled a prank on me by dumping paperwork everywhere…
*ahem* Also. No offense to RoyEd or Allen X Kanda shippers. Just trying to keep the characters in-character… Plus, I'm not into it, but… Besides the point.
Next up is Superhirrhi99!
Ed, if you could have any type of pet, what would it be? (mystical creatures included)
Edward: A lion because lions are badass and I could train it to attack bad guys and pee in the colonel's office. *evil laugh*
Al, what if I told you that there are cat lanyards? (do you know what they are?)
Alphonse: *blinks before holding up twenty lanyards with kitties all over them*
Roy / Colonel Sarcasm and Ed, well my friend and I were at Six Flags yesterday and we did something really random. We did a 'Flame vs. Fullmetal" thing, and we were your representatives. My friend was the Flame representative, and I was the Fullmetal representative. We did three challenges. Bumper cars, (we tied) Scooby Doo Ghostbusters, (first off, don't judge, and second Flame won. By 870 points. GRRRRRR...) and Air Hockey (I am very sorry, but I lost. By ONE MEASLY POINT! ONE!) I sincerely apologize. But, I did do you justice Ed, and kept on taunting 'Colonel Sarcasm' (my personal favorite. Episode thirteen of FMA '03 Flame vs. Fullmetal) by chanting useless repeatedly. It was fun! Ironically, we were near a water ride as this happened. Sorry a million times over.
Edward: …You have dishonored me… *gloom*
Roy: *rolls eyes* Fullmetal, it's not that ba-
Edward: DISHONOR! *shouts before hiding in Corner of Angst*
Roy: …
The main protagonists (Ed, Al, Winry, Mustang, Riza, Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Izumi, Alex, Olivier, Miles, Buccaneer, Ling, Lan Fan, Mei, Fu, Hohenheim and others I might be forgetting...), Greed and adding Gluttony because I believe he would like this. I made you each German Chocolate cakes. They were in a refrigerator for two days, which improves the quality. And Gluttony, because I'm feeling nice, you get a whole roomful. *Opens mystical door to room full of cake* And no, there is no coconut icing. Buttercream is preferred, and I hope I got the colors right. Ed, I made the icing on yours red, and there's a flamel. Same for Al and Izumi. Hope you like them!
Everyone: Thanks you! *start eating*
Gluttony: *already buried in cake and wolfing cake down like there's no tomorrow*
Me: Uwuuu I love German Chocolate cake ;-;
Ed, (SO MANY QUESTIONS FOR YOU!) have you ever met a person named Natsu Dragneel? He's really cool. And uses fire. And is... dare I say it... A WIZARD!
Edward: Nope, haven't met him, but I hear a dragon raised him or something? Which, by the way, is badass. I'm just saying that magic doesn't exist in MY universe, though I can agree it exists in others. *slight mutter*
Mustang, Al, and Ling, same question applies.
Roy: I also haven't met him, but he eats fire. So hopefully I wouldn't have to fight him.
Alphonse: A few of the cats did mention him…
Ling: I haven't met him either, but he sounds cool!
Envy, you are a cross dressing palm tree. And, just to add it on, PALMTREEPALMTREEPALMTREEPALMTREE (*continues to incessantly chant that for hours on end {3 hours, to be precise})
Envy: *eye twitches slightly before turning arms into long blades* Come a little closer. *growls*
Tucker, I hate you. Have you ever seen Tracker Jackers, Raveners, Wyverns and Griffins working together? Even though they hail from different universes, I invoke them. Go GET 'IM!
Tucker: *tries to run but is immediately turned into a pile of unidentifiable road kill*
Hey Paninya!
*whacks*
That's for stealing Ed's pocket watch in Rush Valley.
Paninya: Ow! *pouts* 'M sorry about that, okay?!
Last but not least, I must ask everyone what their feelings towards IHOP are. And, on a totally random note, have any of you heard of/been to Panera? If not, try their smoothies and cookies. They are good. That's all for me! Oh, before I leave...
*Whistles, and Erza Scarlet appears. Also brings Tucker back*
Hey Erza!
Erza: Yes?
Do you know where your cake went?
Erza: No... Where did my strawberry cake go?
Well, Shou Tucker ate it! *points at Tucker*
Erza: You ate... My strawberry cake? DIE! *uses her requip magic and brutally beats Tucker, leaving him to die*
Thanks Erza.
Erza: No problem. He ate my cake.
Tucker: *choking and bleeding out on the ground*
Well, I sincerely hope that there's more than one slice of strawberry cake around L and Erza… Because that would lead to a fight to the bloody death. Anyways, next up is SeaWolfAlchemist!
Al, I will assure you that no cats were harmed being put in the barrel. They all were probably happy coming to you.
Alphonse: *perks up* Okay. As long as they're fine! *hugs kitties*
Envy, -walks up to Envy- The cake is a lie -stabs Envy's Philosopher's Stone with a magic blade and succeeds in destroying it, thus killing him.
Envy: *cries out and turns to ash*
Anyone with an opinion, What do you think of the theory that the SnK world is an alternate dimension of FMA/FMA:B world where everyone is different and whatnot?
Edward: I think that sounds fairly accurate…
Alphonse: *nods* Yeah.. An alternate universe where the titans exist. *shudders*
Dear Trisha, Is Carla Jaeger your long lost twin? She looks just like you. Same hair style and clothing.
Trisha: *shakes head* No, but it might support the alternate universe idea… Possibly. I'm not really an expert on these things. *small laugh*
Dear Mustang, What do you think of a dog wearing a miniskirt with dogs on it?
Roy: That would be… odd.
Dear Ling, *magically poofs a food buffet* This is all for you so enjoy.
Ling: *cries out* Thank you! *immediately sets to work on chowing down*
Tucker, I'm not gonna say dear because I hate you. -Stabs him the chest with The Master sword-
Tucker: *chokes on blood before crumpling*
Link: *points at Master Sword* HYAH?!
Dear Ed, Al, and Armin, so how were the results of the hour of plotting?
Edward: We narrowed it down to about three options. And yeah, all of them are definite ways to take over the world.
Alphonse: The first is the safest, but it takes the most time to do. The other two aren't exactly the safest ways, but they're fast.
Armin: And we also made sure to test it out, simulation-wise.
…Oh dear. Don't let Greed near those plans.
Next up is ZakuroU!
Shou Tucker,
(No 'dear' for you!)
What's it like dying so many times over? And how do you come back to life anyway?
(Please set him on fire after he answers.)
Tucker: *flat tone* It's basically an endless torture cycle. And the author has made it so that, in this pocket in space and time, no one can die permanently. And the ones who have died can also take form here.
Me: Correctumundo, child-and-animal-abuser. *makes gasoline drench Tucker before breathing fire and setting him alight*
Tucker: *screams before burning to ashes*
Ed and Roy,
How would the world handle it if you guys were permanently stuck in each other's bodies for a week? There's no getting out, and you'd have to either switch jobs or try to do each other's. What would you do? How would Hawkeye and Alphonse handle it?
Edward: *frowns* I'd stick with Alphonse. No way in hell would I just sit around and waste a week trying to do stupid paperwork.
Roy: Though people would question the sight of Fullmetal doing my paperwork, so we'd have to work something out there. Maybe you-in my body- could request a week off for sick leave. Or pretend a cousin of mine died or something.
Edward: Yeah… But knowing you, you'd completely mess up my reputation in one week. *grumbles*
And Roy,
Speaking of Envy trying to psych Ed out in the 2003 anime, you know he turned into you as well? (And then got socked in the face...)
Roy: Yes, I know. *shoots Ed annoyed look* Dfire had us watch the video.
Edward: Hey! I knew it was him!
Roy: You thoroughly enjoyed punching my likeness in the face.
Edward: …Okay, maaaaaaybe a little. But that wasn't me! It was '03 me!
Roy: You smirked while watching the video and had to restrain yourself from laughing.
Edward: …
And Hughes,
You're still cool
Hughes: Thanks!
Well, Hughes is always majestic. Especially when he barges into Mustang's office proclaiming that his daughter has hit the next level of adorableness.
Next up is Digi-fanCapp!
Ed, Winry, what would you do if; A: someone (aka, Roy or Al) snapped, and forced you two to kiss, B: had a night you knew you wouldn't remember the next morning, and there would be no consequences, or C: Found out your long lost twin sister that was Winry's best friend and first outfitee hadn't died when that train hit her?
Edward: To the first one, Mustang would get a punch in the face. Al would also get one, but not with my automail. To the second, uh… I dunno… And the third, that would just be odd. I don't even have a sister, and I wouldn't know what to do with one, either.
Winry: To the first, I'd pull out my wrenches. The second one is… Um… Maybe… Go out for dinner and see where it went from there…? And as to the third, I suppose I'd be relieved that someone we knew wasn't dead like we thought, I guess.
Al, how many Cait Sidhe are in your feline army? Also, can I join?
Alphonse: Around ten right now, and sure! We always need volunteers to help take care of all the cats.
Roy and Riza, answer questions A and B that I gave to Ed and Win.
Roy: I wouldn't be the one to force them to kiss. Otherwise I would have a wrench embedded in my skull and a broken face from Fullmetal.
Riza: If he did do it, however, I'd stay out of the way.
Roy: *pouts* Such betrayal…
Riza: You would have been asking for it, sir. And as for the second question, I'm… not entirely sure.
Roy: Uh… Yeah, for that one, I would… kind of hope that no one else would see us or remember that night, either… I mean, depending on what we.. uh… *embarrassed*
Also, in an earlier chapter, DFire mentioned that she liked Digimon. I think Al's partner would be of the Leomon line, with Bearmon as the rookie level. Correct me if you think that's wrong, and who would everyone else (important)'s partners be?
Alphonse: That sounds awesome! But I might actually have a Gatomon as a partner. *hums*
Edward: I'm just gonna say, I would really want a Digimon from the ShineGreymon line. Agumon as a rookie, naturally. *hums* I like WarGreymon fine, but I love the epic flair that ShineGreymon has. Plus, the colors are just amazing. Oh, or maybe BlackAgumon as a partner. He turns into BlackWarGreymon, right?
Roy: Personally, I like the starter Digimon from Digimon Dawn version, Coronamon. Its final Digivolution, Apollomon, is rather incredible.
Riza: Personally, I rather like Karatenmon, so Biyomon as the rookie form.
Winry: Because of the first series, I really like Andromon, which means either Hagurumon or ToyAgumon would be its rookie form.
Tucker, ... Lucemon, that guy said he things you're a cute little child! And that you're stupid and weak!
Lucemon: *hisses angrily*You shall know pain, oh foolish mortal...
Tucker: I didn't even say any of those things!
And finally, Truth, DFire, and whoever else wants to answer, Favorite Digimon and/or Pokemon. I think Al already said this earlier.
Truth: That's a tough call. Possibly Mew, or maybe Arceus. As for Digimon… Lucemon Chaos Mode is interesting.
Me: Definitely Dialga, and as for Digimon… Uh… I really love Leomon (even though the sight of him makes me cry), but I also really love BanchoLeomon, ShineGreymon, Renamon, Guilmon, Kyuubimon, Gatomon, Patamon, Omnimon, Airdramon… Basically, all of those and any dragon Digimon with cool designs~
Edward: As for Pokemon, I'd have to say either Arcanine or Blaziken. And Digimon, I pretty much just answered that, though I also like ImperialDramon's Fighter and Paladin modes.
Alphonse: I love all cat Pokemon, but especially ones like Delcatty or Liepard. And Gatomon's my favorite Digimon!
Roy: I like Charizard, and as for Digimon, it'd be Apollomon.
Riza: Talonflame and Skarmory are Pokemon I like, and as for Digimon… I do like Lillymon as well as Karatenmon.
Winry: Hm… I like Magneton and Andromon, though I also like any kind of machine Pokemon or Digimon.
For anyone that doesn't know, I'm a huge Digimon and Pokemon nerd. I think the only person who can even come close to trumping my Pokemon knowledge is the YouTuber named Chuggaaconroy… That man is my equal-and in some ways, my superior-when it comes to Pokemon.
Next up is Atalanta Black!
Dear Roy,
I actually transfigured a padded room and locked Harry in it. My Aunt Andi was unamused for some strange reason.
Roy: Well, you should consider throwing Mr. Accident Prone Fullmetal in there, as well. *shoots annoyed look at Edward* He somehow managed to knock down an entire building-
Edward: It was on fire! The whole thing was coming down anyways. *scowls* (A/N: I maaaaay or may not be referencing one of my favorite Disney movies here… *whistles innocently*)
Dear Hohenheim,
I was a bit intrigued as well by how owls can fly while being loaded down with mail. Delivery owls actually have a complex array of spells placed on them. It makes them extremely strong and fast. They also have a variety of navigation charms on them so they won't get lost. I wish that I can tell you more, but owl breeding is a surprisingly secret art. I think I'll stick with my familiar, Lupa. She has a harness that is a family heirloom and allows her to teleport so I don't have to worry about someone catching her and going through my mail.
Hohenheim: Ah, I see. I can imagine that the secret is rather closely guarded, lest it get out and everyone starts breeding magic owls.
To anyone who cares,
The joke shop is now open for business! *hands out pamphlets to everyone* Special for you all, 15% off on your first purchase that exceeds over 50 galleons! Please note that some pranking supplies may help for setting up traps. Weasley and Black Wizard Wheezes is not responsible for any unintentional or intentional injuries. Some pranking supplies may be dangerous. Please if under the age of 17 use only under the supervision of a semi-responsible adult. Please do not make jokes about one of the owners being under 17. Thank you for shopping at Weasley and Black Wizard Wheezes. Also, 50% off all purchases under 20 galleons to anyone pranking foreign enemies, death munchers, and/or homunculi! Special sale on Peruvian darkness powder this month to anyone brave enough to try to use it against Major Armstrong to get rid of his sparkles!
Edward and Ling: *immediately run over*
Olivier: *goes and buys Peruvian darkness powder before tossing handful at Alex*
Armstrong: *cries out as sparkles fade* NOOOOO!
Olivier: *huffs* Oh hush, you pansy.
To Ed,
Homework is pretty easy, my problem is that it's just tedious. My charms, transfiguration, and defense against the dark arts classes all cross over quite frequently with arithmancy so I'm studying a lot of what I already know. Lucky, getting to drop out. Hogwarts is a hazard to the average student's health.
Edward: *shrugs* Sounds about why I dropped out of school when I was little. Already knew it all.
Can anyone guess which Disney movie I referenced up there? Hint: There are rumors of a sequel for this movie, which I am SUPER excited for because, well, that movie was a big part of my childhood. Like seriously, people get super hyped for the sequel to Finding Nemo, but I'm just like
Oh yeah that's cool but *blank* IS GETTING A SEQUEL MAYBE OH MY GOSH *faints*
Next up is Toph Hitsuyaga!
Roy, how do you feel when people compare you to Zuko from ATLA? (sorry if it's been asked)
Roy: I think it would be a fairly accurate comparison, from what I've heard. Other than the extreme hotheadedness.
Actually, your question is unique… Though there have been a few ATLA questions, surprisingly there haven't been many. Next up is Spidey19!
To everyone,
What MARVEL superhero do you see yourself as?
Edward: Uh… I think Iron Man, maybe.
Riza: Do I even have to answer? *small laugh*
Alphonse: Being the Vision would be cool. *slight shrug* Or maybe, Magneto because Brother and I use a lot of earth and metal alchemy.
Roy: Maybe Captain America because of the whole 'join the military as sort of a below-average soldier and wind up a super soldier' thing, or possibly Firebrand.
Winry: *thoughtful* Rescue? (A/N: AKA Pepper… Which would be epic if Ed was Iron Man, teehee…~)
Next up is lilaclily00!
Dear Al,
...Hi. :3 *runs away*
Alphonse: Hi?
Dear Everyone,
Hi! *runs away again*
*falls down panting several yards away*
Hey, uh, *pant* Can someone *pant* help me? ;-;
Greed: *helps up*
Thanks a lot.
Greed: Sure, though a phone number and a scheduled time for a date sounds just about in order. *flashes sexy smile*
Ling: *takes control over body back* Greed, that's serious pedophilia.
Greed: Hello? The only way my relationships aren't pedophilia-based would be if I asked Lust out, and that has even more issues!
Dear... ED!
What would you do if you were Slenderman, and as you were about to murder someone, they farted really loudly?
...It's an inside joke I have with someone...
Don't ask.
*kimazui...*
Edward: Uh… I mean, I wouldn't kill anyone at all, but if you're the Slenderman… Just kill them anyways, I guess? However, it's really unlikely that would happen, since the gastrointestinal system shuts down when in panic survival mode, so…
Dear Al,
You have lots of cats now, huh? In case you need them, I whipped up a little list of cat names to get you started.
1. Pickles
2. Catward (to annoy your brother)
3. If it's Siamese, name him/her Twin (so you can hold the kitty up and tell people "This is my Siamese, Twin!")
4. Grumpy
5. Happy
6. Doc
7. Sleepy
8. Bashful
9. Sneezy
10. Dopey
Alphonse: *laughs* I like the name Twin; that's really cute. But the other ones… Hm.
Yeah, Al does have a rather large army now…
Next up is Scaehime!
Ed: I'm about 5'1". The FMA wiki says you're 4'11" at the start of your series. Am I a 'giant' or would you still consider me 'not short'/'normal sized' like you?
Edward: …I would consider you to be slightly taller. Except by the end of the series, I'm about 5'7". *evil smile*
Ed, Al, Roy, Riza, Winry, Ling, Mei Chang, anyone else interested in answering: If you lived in the Soul Eater 'verse, would you be a weapon or a wielder?
Edward: Ehh… I'd probably be a meister. I'm a little more experienced at using weapons than actually being one… I think it would work out better that way.
Alphonse: If I was a weapon, Brother and I could make a really good team that way (we always do, but still).
Roy: Hm… Possibly a meister, though if there was a kind of flamethrower weapon…
Riza: I think I could be either a weapon or meister. Either way, the shots I fire would be deadly accurate.
Winry: Um… I think I'd be a weapon (even though I don't like fighting that much).
Ling: I'd have to say… Meister. *shrugs*
Lan Fan: I would be a weapon, as I am the Young Lord's tool to reach his desired position of Emperor.
Mei: I think I'd be a meister, too.
Xiao Mei: *squeaks and thinks of herself as a large kunai with a panda face*
That… took much thought process. Sort of. I can barely see straight because it's getting late at night XD
So… I shall use my magical time warp powers… (AKA save, exit, and reopen Word in the morning)
And suddenly, it is now 9:00 A.M.
BOW BEFORE MY FEARSOME POWERS!
And the final reviewer for today is An Arm and a Leg!
Everyone,
What Imagine Dragons song(s) fit(s) you/your entire universe the best? It can be the lyrics or the song itself that fits. I don't care. Ms. Dfire, you can answer this, too. (Personally, I think Nothing Left to Say fits Ed and the whole of FMA the best.)
Edward: Yeah, that sounds about right…
Roy: Personally, I think Demons represents not just me, but all of us here. None of us are without our inner demons, and those demons influence us in unseen ways.
Me: I dunno which song would really represent me… Maybe It's Time because whenever I look at my laptop, I think "It's time to begin, isn't it…" (*coughlazyslackeroverherecoughcoughahem*)
Hughes: For me? I'm On Top of the World because I'm over the moon when I see my darling Elicia~!
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Hughes: Wanna see new pictures?! *holds up photo album* These are from this week! She had her little friend over and they were so cuuuuuuute~!
Everyone: *screams and flees the vicinity*
Hughes: *chases after* Wait! You haven't lived if you haven't seen these pictures!
Envy,
*ties up in chains to a metal chair, then skips around the chair* Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! I'M BLEEDING OUT, SO IF THE LAST THING THAT I DO! IS BRING YOU DOWN, I'LL BLEED OUT FOR YOU! SO I BARE MY SKIN AND I COUNT MY SINS AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND I TAKE IT IN! I'M BLEEDING OUT! I'M BLEEDING OUT FOR YOU! FOR YOU!
Envy: *eye twitches and turns into unleashed form, breaking the chains easily* I. Will. End you.
Dear Scar's brother,
Even though you aren't a very major character, I think you rock. *hugs*
Scar's Brother: *hugs back* Uh… Thanks. *small smile*
Everyone(Again),
I'm sick of the denial, so I'm taking matters into my own hands. *pulls out silver bow and arrows-the arrows read RoyAi, EdWin, AlMei, Linfan, Sheska/Fuery, Parental RoyEd, Parental ScarMei, Ross/Brosch, Selim/Elicia, and Elricest(the last one I notice, scream at, and toss into convenient incinerator)* Anyways, I'm gonna start shooting these at you guys unless you start confessing on your own! NOW!
Roy: …
Riza: …
Roy: Okay, okay, Fullmetal is sort of like a son and the lieutenant has always been attractive. *pale*
Riza: *turns away to hide embarrassment blush*
Edward: EY WIN AND I ARE SAFE BECAUSE WE GOT MARRIED AND HAD KIDS AND SHIT
Winry: *blinks* …Nice way to phrase it, Ed…
Alphonse: M-Mei and I are safe too 'cause we started dating… *blushing*
Mei: *hums contentedly*
Ling: …Lan Fan?
Lan Fan: Yes, my lord. *pulls out flash grenade and throws down, and when it goes out, she and Ling have vanished*
Sheska and Fuery: B-but I hardly know him/her!
Scar: …
Mei: *smiles* Well, Mr. Scar did take really good care of me. I'll always be thankful for that.
Ross and Brosch: *are making out in a corner anyways so I think that counts*
Selim: I don't know Elicia…
Elicia: Though he is cute… *cute little blush*
Hughes: OH NO YOU DON'T AND- *stops to take pictures of Elicia* Awwww…~
Mustang,
Like the gloves? They have a price, though. Sing the "I'm the Flame Alchemist" song! (It's at the back of volume 12.)
Here, I'll start:
Snap snap snap snap my fingers
Snap snap snap snap my fingers...
Roy: *debating whether it's worth it or not before putting gloves down and walking away with poker face*
Tucker,
I've decided that I won't kill you today.
...My psychotic alter ego, Matilda, will.
Mati: *pulls out chainsaw* KEEHEEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! DIEEEE!
Tucker: *flees*
Kimblee and Barry,
Mati wants to ask you a question.
Mati: *gushes* You guys are my idols! :D Can you teach me how to kill someone in the most gory way?
Kimblee and Barry: *proceed to explain a highly graphic way of killing which I am censoring because this fanfic is rated T
And no, it's not because the author is lazy!*
Ed,
Sorry about the chimera thing and the prank drink. I have four words to say to you, though, and I want your reaction.
'I'm an Ed fangirl.'
Edward: … *pulls out machine gun*
Ed,
Did I scare you? XD Don't worry, I'm really a fangirl, but I'm not like them. *motions to cage of rabid fangirls* Unlike Mati here...
Mati: *distantly* KYAAA! EDO-KUN! I LOVE YOU!
Me: Buuut she's locked up for now. I want a non-awkward hug as payment, though. *pouts at last hug*
Edward: ...Okay, okay. I try not to be awkward when I hug, but I'm not used to hugging people. *sighs before bear hugging*
Al,
Mati and I want to join the cat army! Only Mati can join, though.
Mati: *turns into small grey kitten* Miao!
Me: *turns into silvery-blue dragon* Unless you accept dragons, too?
Alphonse: You both can join. *small smile* Though dragons would be in what is known as the Special Corps over there… *gestures to squad made up of dragons, satyrs, centaurs, etc.*
Kimblee,
D'Arvitting is a word! It means...uh...have you watched the 'Harry Potter Puppet Show' Vids? The one about the 'Wizard Swears'? Well, think of D'Arvit as the Elder Swear.
Kimblee: Hm. I suppose I see.
Havoc,
Who's the girl you like? C'mon, I won't tell anyone! Swear on the River Styx!
Havoc: Okay… Uh… It's Rebecca…
Everyone(except Kimblee, Tucker, and Father),
I feel like I've been a bit of a jerk to some of you guys. *looks at Ed* I wanna say that I'm sorry. Here are some chocolate chip cookies. I swear that they're not poisoned or anything. I also used my authoress powers to make them tasty even without milk. *hands cookies*
Everyone except Kimblee, Tucker, and Father: *take cookies and scarf down*
Edward: Apology accepted. *hums a little*
And that's all for now! But now… It is time for the…
ENDING AUTHOR'S NOTE OF DOOM PLUS 500 REVIEW EXTRAVAGANZA!
Recent events: School starts soon… This is my last week of freedom… Also, I'm gonna beg my parents for my own email account and possibly a deviantArt account, if I'm lucky. Yesterday (the 27th), I made onigiri (Japanese rice balls) for the first time, and they turned out great!
Other than that, not much has been going on.
Question of the chapter: Do you know more than one language? If so, what other languages do you know?
And here are my answers to some reviews:
SapphireClaw: Parental!RoyEd is just… Amazing.
GLaDOS: …I don't even know what to say about you.
ValleyOfDeath: Yeah, I know the feels. Cynthia, from my other story I still have yet to finish, won't stop haunting my soul…
9foxgrl: Thank ya!
Superrhirhi99: Thanks for the rubber duck, and yeah, Funimation's star voice actors really get around. *laughs*
SeaWolfAlchemist: Though I do love SnK, I think that the character development could be better… Though I am deeply in love with it. :) Also in love with the fantastic fanart that I've seen for it…~
ZakuroU: And did you see what they did to Eggman?! It's almost as bad as his design in Sonic '06… maybe worse… Also, I've been marathoning your stories lately :3 So I may have drawn Tyrell… Yeah… (*hoping to get a deviantArt so can post it there*)
Digi-fanCapp: Thanks, I try! And Pokemon and Digimon…~ *hums*
Atalanta Black: Ah, I saw XIII in the store the other day… I might save up to get it ;) And good luck with that!
Toph Hitsuyaga: *hug* You are very much welcome here 'cause you and Zakuro are awesome :3
Spidey19: Thanks! It's hard at times, but I do my best ;) Oh, and my PM's have been disabled for a looooong time now. Probably won't change for a while… :P
Scaehime: Thanks for the input and you started school on the same day as my friend! *hug* I start on September 2nd. Which is always fun~
An Arm and a Leg: The con was… Beautiful. Imagine any of your nerd friends/a group you nerd out with. Now think of a whole giant convention center teeming with people who are even nerdier and understand references. EVERYWHERE. Oh man, I was dying with joy. Also, lots of people dressed up as Attack on Titan characters… I even found a Colossal Titan! He was cool. And I had my hair like Edward's, and was wearing red and black, and I found my Alphonse. He. Was. Awesome. Even made the armor himself and everything (and he had a cat plushie on the armor's right shoulder… Cutest thing ever)! Also… I'm not including other reviewers as characters you can ask questions. Sorry! And finally, I never got very far through Artemis Fowl when I was younger. I didn't really get very into it…
And now…
For the moment you've all been waiting for…
500 REVIEW SPECIAL! (basically omakes)
~Fullmetal Clue~
The cast is gathered around a circular table, and all eyes are on Ed.
"I do believe," he says smugly, "that I have found our murder culprit." In an instant, he is up on his feet, slamming his hand into the table and pointing accusingly at Roy. "It was Colonel Mustard, in the living room, with the candlestick!"
Roy opens his mouth in sheer bafflement when a slow clap is heard from the left side of the table.
"Congratulations, Professor Fullmetal… But the true culprit…"
The source of the voice, Winry, stands up.
"…Is none other than I, Mrs. Scarlet, in the dining room, with a wrench!"
With that she lets out a maniacal cackle, throws a wrench at Edward's face (knocking him clean unconscious), and runs away.
"THOSE WHO HAVE RUSTY AUTOMAIL SHALL ALL PAAAAAAAAY!" Winry screams as she runs into the distance, leaving all in attendance utterly baffled.
~Fullmetal Note~
Mustang slips in behind Ed, an emotionless look on his face.
"I am R." he whispers into Ed's ear.
Edward freezes. Then he slowly turns around, facing the man known as the world's greatest detective…
And cracks up laughing.
Roy, baffled, steps back. "What…?"
Edward rolls his eyes. "I already knew that you're R. It's pretty obvious."
"And what do you mean by that?" The older man glares, offended. "Is it because you're Kira?"
"No. You're wearing a nametag that says 'I am R', useless dumbass."
At hearing the word 'useless', Roy collapses to the ground as a gloomy aura surrounds him.
"'M not useless…" he whimpers as Edward walks away, faintly smirking. Strike up one more victory for Kira.
~Fullmetalkami~
"Fullmetal… Please just shut up and let me finish the damn brush stroke!"
Or so Roy wants to say. All he can do in this wolf form is bark in annoyance as he uses his ink-soaked tail to paint a symbol in thin air.
"You're making wind the wrong way, retard!" Ed snaps as he bounces on the wolf's nose, being highly aggressive despite being a tiny Poncle.
Roy's eyes narrow, and he utters a low growl. Fortunately for him, Poncles can understand animals.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME, YOU GIANT FLEABAG?! SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU!"
Roy growls again, this time more amused.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BUG! I AM EDWARD ELRIC, THE BEST ARTIST AND GREATEST SAMURAI TO WALK THE FACE OF THIS EARTH AND YOU CALL ME A RUNT SO SMALL HE FLIES ON AIR MOLECULES?! A MIDGET SO TINY THAT HE COULD USE THE EYE OF A NEEDLE AS A HULA-HOOP?!"
~Finale~
The entire FMA cast is gathered on a hilltop, oohing and aahing as several glorious fireworks light up the night sky. Elicia is perched on Hughes' shoulders, exclaiming in awe at every colorful fountain of light.
"Daddy, they're so pretty!"
Hughes grins before shoving his camera to Gracia. "Darling, take a picture! I must see Elicia's cuteness!"
In the distance, Ed is leaned up against Alphonse, his slightly taller little brother acting as the perfect cushion. "I wonder what kind of materials they used for the fireworks," Al remarks, "they're really something else!"
Ed shrugs, though he has a fairly good idea of what's being used.
Even further away, far out of sight, the authoress cackles evilly as she incinerates Tucker before magically turning his ashes into the key ingredient of the fireworks being prepared. The moment after the ashes are launched into the air, exploding in a wondrous dappling of color, Tucker is brought back to life, only to be incinerated again.
That's all for now, everyone. Thank you all so much for supporting this story for so long, and sending in all your great questions! See you again soon!
Dfire