townes zamoras. 18.

early october, 88 add.

morning.

Summer sank steadily into fall, and with fall came routine.

On weekdays, he went to class, and after class, he went anywhere he could. The library. Cafes. Empty classrooms. The little courtyard in the middle of campus with three real trees. Anywhere that wasn't home, Townes went. The weekends were spent with his family, out and about at different appearances, and Townes loathed these more than anything. He didn't mind being in public, or talking to people- those things, he actually liked very much- but watching his father give his speeches and talk to voters unsteadied him.

(One of his father's sticking points was his family, had always been his family. It had started when Townes was little and continued on as he got older. He was the ideal family man, with his perfect wife and his perfect son, and watching him pretend he adored them was bittersweet. His father hadn't meant those words about his son in a long, long time. And both of them knew it.)

It was fake. All of it was fake.

But Townes knew what it would mean to do anything about it, so he plastered on his smile and posed for pictures and went after voters- his father sent him after the younger voters, who were statistically less likely to vote- and he did his best to charm.

In a way, it was nice to be anything but charming when Monday rolled back around each week.

"You look terrible," Townes said as Esper walked in.

"Do you have to say that every day?" Esper replied as he took a seat on Townes' left.

"On Friday I said you looked like shit," Townes informed him. "Today I said you looked terrible."

"What an upgrade."

"Also, you're the one who shows up looking like that every day," Townes said, gesturing.

"I look fine."

"You really think so?"

"I'm not obsessed with what I look like every day," Esper said. "Unlike you."

"I'm not obsessed," Townes scoffed.

"Then what word would you use for it?"

"Concern."

"So you're worried about me again?"

"No, I'm concerned about being seen with you when you look like that."

"That seems like a pretty easy fix."

"You investing in concealer?"

"You could simply… leave me alone."

"Believe it or not, I didn't schedule all of my classes with you. That wasn't me."

"You've mentioned that," Esper said. "But you could literally sit anywhere else."

"You want me to sit in the back?!"

"Aren't you the one who's trying not to be seen with me?"

"But it's so much easier to take notes up here," Townes said. "And this way, the professors get to see my pretty face. You could sit in the back."

"The half-deaf person should sit in the back?" Esper asked innocently.

"You're the one who got your ear ripped off."

"First of all, that's not how hearing works. Second of all, I didn't rip it off."

"So where did it go, then?"

Esper sighed and muttered something.

"What?"

"The Capitol sent it home with me," he said, lowering his voice.

Townes' jaw dropped. "You still have it?!" he shrieked.

"Keep your voice down."

"You just told me you have your severed ear in your house. How am I supposed to react to that?!"

"Would you please keep it down?"

"Where do you even put it?"

"It's in the basement."

"That's so creepy."

"What else am I supposed to do with it? Is the attic better?"

"Why do you even have it?"

"I don't know- it feels weird to get rid of it, it's still mine, you know?"

"Is it just, like, in a jar?" Townes asked.

"It's in this preserving solution or something," Esper answered, shifting in his seat. "I put it in a box and shoved it in the corner and I've been trying to forget about it."

"That's insane."

"I know."

"That's the weirdest souvenir I've ever heard of."

Esper snorted. "That's one word for it."

"Or is the hearing aid technically the souvenir, since you already had the ear when you were in the Games?"

"I really hadn't put that much thought into it."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But it's your whole-ass ear!"

"I don't really talk about it that much," Esper said.

"I hate to break it to you," Townes said, "but the lack of an ear thing isn't really a secret."

"I wasn't trying to make it one."

"Well, that's a relief, because I'm pretty sure people know what happened there."

Esper reached up, twisting a piece of hair by his left not-ear around his finger. "Yeah, I think so too."

"Good morning, class," the professor said, interrupting their conversation. "Let's get started on chapter three."

Esper reached for his notebook, and Townes sat back, redirecting his attention to class.

(But there was a small part of him- the same one that had been on edge all weekend- that had relaxed after their conversation. He was only spending time with Esper because he had to, but Esper was the only one willing to call him on it. He didn't pretend to like Townes, and Townes didn't pretend to like Esper, and there was something reassuring in that dynamic. With Esper, everything was more real than it had been in months.

But, of course- Townes would never admit that.)

later that week.

morning.

"You look horrific," Townes commented with a smirk.

Esper set his things down, taking a seat a few over on Townes' left as always- but this time, he was silent.

"Good morning to you, too," Townes said.

Esper pulled out his notes.

"Hellooooo?"

Esper slammed his notebook on his desk with a thump. "What do you want?" he snapped.

"Oh my god. I was just talking to you. You were the one ignoring me."

"You're an asshole."

"Ouch."

"Would you shut up?"

"Would you calm down?" Townes gave Esper a good look, searching for the source of his moodiness, but found nothing incredibly different. Just the usual tired look. "You need a coffee or something."

"I already had some."

"This is you post-caffeine? Holy shit."

"Could you please shut up-"

"Maybe we should go by that cafe again this afternoon," he said.

"Absolutely not."

"Where else are we supposed to do the assignment for Monday?"

"The library."

"Boring, but whatever."

"I couldn't care less."

"Does four p.m. still work?"

"Fine."

It was a last-minute arrangement, but Townes managed to get everything set up and even beat Esper to the library, finding them a table by the door. Same plan as two weeks prior.

It didn't take Esper long to find him. "I already did my half of the problem set."

"You have to stop doing that," Townes said. "The problem set builds on itself- if you fucked up your parts, that fucks up mine, too."

"I didn't fuck it up," Esper said.

"Let me see."

Esper handed Townes his work as he took a seat across from him. Townes flipped through his answers, and it didn't take him long to find an issue. "You did," he said. He handed it back. "Look at 1B. What the hell is that?"

Esper reread it, his brows furrowed. "Oh. Shit." He reached into his bag for a pencil.

"Like I said, if you would just wait-"

"Spare me the lecture."

"Only if you stop doing that."

Esper glanced up at Townes, and from this angle, with his head tilted toward the paper, it was impossible to ignore just how deep the shadows under his eyes were. "It saves us time and lets us check each other's work. I don't see why I would stop."

"It doesn't save time if you're getting things wrong and having to fix them."

Esper sighed, but didn't say anything else as he finished his correction. He passed the problem set back silently.

Townes, who had been expecting more pushback, raised an eyebrow. "Good to see you've calmed down from your tantrum this morning," he said.

Esper rolled his eyes. "It wasn't a tantrum."

"It kind of was, though."

"I was just tired."

"Then take a nap."

"Wow. Problem solved. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Townes looked at the next part of the assignment. "The answer to 1C depends on 1B. Did you fix that one too?"

Esper sighed and held out his hand. Townes passed the papers back. Once they'd finished looking over Esper's work, they moved on to his portion, Esper checking his answers as he went.

"Done," Townes said, setting down his pencil.

Esper looked it over with a nod. "All right. Are we finished here?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Great." Esper shoved his notebook in his bag.

"Why are you rushing?" Townes asked. "And if you say you're going home-"

"I'm going home."

"So boring."

"My sister is having her friends over. I said I would get them snacks."

"Oh, like a sleepover?"

"No," Esper said quickly. "Just hanging out."

"Good to know someone in your family actually has friends."

"I've had friends before."

"Oh? I don't see them."

"I do have friends."

"Where?"

"One of them isn't from here," he said.

"That means they don't exist," Townes replied. "And you have more than one? Actually?"

"I did, but one of them died," Esper said tersely.

"The one you killed?"

"If this was not a fucking library-"

"It's a simple question," Townes said, letting his gaze drift out across the library. Once he spotted the person he was looking for, he returned to Esper.

"It's one thing to be an asshat to me," Esper was saying. "But you don't get to pull her into this."

"So that's the line?"

"You don't get to say shit about her, and you don't get to say shit about my siblings, either."

"Ah. Good to know. So the ear thing is still free rein?"

Esper stared at him. "You," he said, "are the most fucking annoying person I've ever met."

"A superlative, wow! Thanks!"

"And that's saying something."

"Because you're so easy to annoy?"

"Because I've met a lot of irritating people."

"Good to know I hold up against the competition."

"Hold on a second." Esper squinted. "What's that over there?"

"What happened to being in a rush?"

"I am, I just- you were talking shit, and then… oh my god, is that a camera?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Don't play stupid," Esper snapped. "Did you seriously do this again?"

The camera winked at them from a corner of the library. Townes shrugged. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"You're lucky we're in a library," Esper repeated. "And that I actually do need to leave, because I'd rather be there for my sister than waste my time with you."

"Great. Good to know about the library, by the way."

"Fuck off," Esper muttered, and he turned on his heel and headed for the door. Townes couldn't help but find it funny that Esper had told him to fuck off right before fucking off, and he grinned as he flashed a thumbs-up at the cameraperson.

(In a way, it was almost fun. He'd gotten his pictures, no problem. His group work was done. He'd successfully pissed Esper off again.

Maybe this semester wouldn't be as terrible as he'd anticipated.)