esper myrellis-verilla. 20.

december, 90 add.

evening.

"Why are you freaking out?"

Townes rolled his eyes. "I'm not freaking out."

"You are," Esper observed.

"I'm not," Townes insisted. He stood from the kitchen table, knocking over his water cup as he moved. Esper reached over and caught it as it tipped, but momentum carried a small splash onto his sleeve.

"Shit- sorry-"

"It's fine," Esper said, moving the glass away from the table's edge. Townes grabbed a dish towel and handed it to Esper to dry off his arm. "I still don't believe you, though."

Townes returned the comment with a halfhearted glare as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "Thanks."

"I just thought the finals nerves would've worn off by now," Esper said.

"I'm not-" Townes exhaled. "I'm not freaking out, okay?"

"...Okay."

"I'm just, like… not excited."

"About what?"

"You know." Townes gestured wildly around the room before crossing his arms.

Esper squinted at him. "I don't, actually."

"Like… stuff."

"Use your words, please."

"I am!"

"Use more of them."

"I… it's just. You know," Townes repeated. "Holiday shit."

"Ryden will love his present, I promise."

"No, not that. I'm great at presents," Townes said. "It's like- I have to go home."

"Oh." Esper sat back in his chair. "How long since you saw your parents?"

Townes wrung his fingers between his hands. "I… since the last time I went home, so… a few weeks?"

"Mmm."

"But I mostly just saw my mom."

"Right."

"But for this I'll see both of them. Because I'll be there for a few days. And I'm supposed to show up to a few parties."

Esper rested his chin on his hand. "I have an idea."

"Yeah?"

"Stay here."

"Esper…"

"I'm serious!" he said. "Spend the holidays here."

"That would be nice," Townes sighed. "But I don't know."

"Blame it all on me," Esper said. "Tell them I insisted. You couldn't get out of it. I sprung it on you last minute. Whatever they need to hear."

"...I don't know."

"It's not like you really live there," he pointed out. "You pretty much live here. You have for a while."

"I mean, technically I still live with them."

"What's still there?" Esper asked. "Seriously. Because my house is filled with your shit."

"It's not shit," Townes said, half-smiling. "It's my stuff."

"Point made," Esper countered. "Tell them… tell them you've moved in with me."

"Oh? Have I?"

"Pretty much."

Townes raised his chin and looked dramatically out the window. "I don't know…"

"Do you not want to?"

"I didn't say that…"

"What, you need an official invitation?"

"I mean…" Townes trailed. "It would be nice…"

Esper groaned and stood from the table, crossing the room to meet Townes where he lingered by the window. He didn't bother suppressing his eye roll as he came up behind him, draping an arm around his chest and resting his chin on Townes' shoulder.

Townes tilted his head towards him. "Oh, hello."

Esper cut to the chase. "Townes."

"Esper."

"Would you like to move in with me?"

Townes turned to look him in the eye, shifting Esper's arm from his chest to his back. "I thought you'd never ask," he murmured, leaning in and accepting the offer with a long kiss.

Esper broke away from the kiss first, although he didn't let go of Townes. "And guess what?"

"What?"

"You're already moved in. Your shit's all over the house. All done!"

"Not true," Townes argued. "I still have, like… a box of stuff over there."

"A box," Esper repeated. "A single box."

Townes swatted at his shoulder. "Shut up."

"No," Esper replied.

"It was worth a shot."

"We both know that's not true," Esper said. "But see? Now you have to spend the break here."

Townes sighed. "The holiday parties, though… I still need to go to those."

"I'll go with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Esper affirmed. "Of course."

His smile was shy. "Okay."

"How many parties?"

"Three, but I think I can get out of one," Townes answered. "So two. Probably."

"What are they even for?"

"One is for work," he said. "One is his big end-of-the-year party that he throws every year. Big for networking."

"So… neither of them is like a family party or anything."

"Not like that."

"So why do you have to go?"

"We've talked about that," Townes said, pulling away a little in their embrace. "That's just how it is."

"But it stresses you out," Esper said, watching him closely.

(God, he hated the look on Townes' face every time his father came up.)

"Yeah, but not as much as not going would stress me out."

"And I don't like the idea of him being near you."

(If he saw him so much as lift a hand in Townes' direction-)

"I know."

"At all."

(-he would not hesitate.)

"You've made that clear," Townes said.

"It's not that I think your father's an asshole, although I do," Esper said. "It's- it's your safety."

(That look on Townes' face always reminded him of that January night that he turned up on Esper's doorstep, cheek bruised and shivering and vulnerable.)

"I'm okay."

"And I want you to stay that way. Here. With me."

(He wanted that more than anything.)

Townes' smile was strained. "Esper."

"Because I swear, if he-"

"Esper."

"Sorry."

Townes rubbed his back, dispelling a bit of the tension. "I know you don't agree," he said quietly. "But a few concessions here and there keeps him happy, and at arm's length. It's the best option."

"I just wish he wasn't in your life," Esper said.

"He's my father."

"And he hurt you," Esper said. "It just… makes me upset."

"...Angry?"

(Angry.)

"Not at you."

"But angry?" Townes asked, chewing his lip.

"I…" Esper trailed, trying not to get worked up and failing. "I just think it's fucked up that he still gets to be in your life."

(It wasn't fucking fair-)

"Mhm."

"Because you deserve better."

(So much better.)

"Yeah?"

"And he deserves worse."

(So much worse.)

Townes sighed.

"And I wish you'd tell him that! My parents-"

Townes broke away, backing up a few steps. "Don't start with that."

"I'm just saying-"

"That's different," Townes interrupted with a frown. "We've been over this."

"Hold on."

"Not everyone's shitty parents are interested in fucking off," Townes said, his voice rising. "It worked for you. It's not gonna work for me."

"I'm sorry."

"He's not going to leave me alone. He never has. It's different."

"I'm sorry. I know it's different."

"And you know it… it freaks me out when you get angry."

Esper put his hands in the air, palms facing Townes. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm calm."

"Okay." Townes took a deep breath, pressing the base of his palms against his temples. "Okay."

"I'm sorry," Esper said, taking a gentler tone.

"It's okay."

"I care about you a lot."

"I know," Townes said, lowering his hands from his head.

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

Townes nodded.

"I need verbal."

"Yes."

Esper closed the space between them and pulled Townes close, letting his head rest on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I stressed you out," he said.

"It's okay," Townes said, his voice muffled.

"I've got good news, though."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. You officially living here means you and Ryden are roommates."

Townes perked up at that, lifting his head. "This is true."

"And you'll get to tell him in the morning."

"Only if you tell Rhylee."

"Why?"

"Because she'll make fun of us."

"For what?"

He waved his hand. "You know."

"I don't. You have to stop doing that."

"I'm trying my best out here!" Townes exclaimed. He returned to his dramatic look out the window. "I'm being attacked in my own home…"

Esper snorted. Townes looked back at him with a grin, and Esper started laughing at how goofy he looked. Townes reached over and planted a very sloppy kiss on Esper's cheek.

"Gross!" Esper shrieked, recoiling. Townes held on, kissing his other cheek, then his forehead, and then his temples. "Townes!"

"Kiss me back, coward!"

"Coward?!"

"That's what I said!"

"I'm not a fucking-" Esper gave up and grabbed Townes' face, kissing him- on the lips this time- hard enough to knock Townes off balance. They stumbled back a few steps, bumping up against the counter. Townes let go of Esper to brace against the countertop, steadying himself. Townes' lips grinned against his, and Esper pulled back to catch his breath.

"Pleased with yourself?"

"Very," Townes replied.

"That was disgusting," Esper said, wiping at his cheeks.

"You say that like it didn't work."

"You could've just asked," Esper said, exasperated.

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Careful," Esper warned. "Or I'll make you pay rent."

"You would never."

"Watch me."

Townes wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm watching."

Esper rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"You wouldn't charge me rent."

"Not if you stop pushing it," Esper said.

Townes leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms. "Fine," he said. The teasing note in his voice slipped away as he said, "Thank you for coming with me to those parties."

"Yeah, of course."

"Do you think… I mean…"

"Oh?"

"Would you be okay with being there when I, like… tell them…?"

"That you're moving out?"

"Yeah."

Esper nodded. "Sure."

"But only if you're okay with it."

"I already said yes," Esper told him. "I'll go with you."

"Oh!... Thanks."

Esper reached for Townes' hand, taking it and playing with his fingers. "You'll be okay," Esper reassured him. "Okay?"

Townes exhaled. "I thought I was supposed to be the one who said that to you."

"No, that one goes both ways," Esper said. He tilted his head. "You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right?"

"Yeah…"

"It's not about my bullshit all the time," he said gently. "There's space for both."

"It's not bullshit."

Esper squeezed his hand. "It's more… in your face, then," he amended. "I know it's hard to not talk about it sometimes."

Townes squeezed back. "You already worry too much," he said, his voice soft. "There's no need to cause you any more."

"I can handle it," Esper replied. "Besides… not knowing won't stop me."

"True," Townes said.

"So at least clue me in on what I should be worrying about."

Townes wrinkled his nose. "Is that how that works?"

"I don't know. It's just… I'm here for listening or helping or whatever you need, yeah?"

"I know."

"Just a reminder."

Esper pulled on Townes' hand, and Townes let himself be pulled closer, the side of his head resting against Esper's. Once Townes' breathing was steadier, Esper leaned back enough to see his face.

"Doing okay?" he asked.

"I'm okay," Townes replied.

"Would a kiss make it better?"

Townes considered this. "Yes."

Esper leaned back in-

-and planted the sloppiest kiss he could muster on Townes' cheek.

Townes pulled away, breaking the embrace. "Are you serious?"

Esper started laughing.

"Not even original!" Townes lamented. He started toward Esper again, but he backed up out of

Townes' reach. "Get back here!"

Esper backpedaled faster as Townes chased him around the kitchen. After two laps, he turned and ran, sprinting up the stairs with Townes close behind him, still laughing. Townes chased him into his- their- room, tackling him onto the bed as soon as he caught up with him.

Esper still laughed, struggling to catch his breath, and Townes wore a grin as he pinned Esper down, showering him with the most awful kisses Esper had ever experienced. When he was finally done with his revenge, Townes eased up, letting Esper go wash his face and brush his teeth.

Eventually, after they'd both changed out of their day clothes, Esper turned out the light and snuggled in under the covers. Townes laid on his side, watching him settle with a content little half-grin that somehow made Esper very aware of their new living arrangement.

(This was defined, now. This was permanent.)

Esper leaned over and gave him a goodnight peck. "Night."

"'Night."

Townes reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it once.

Esper squeezed back.

Not long after that, they were both sound asleep.

happy holigays, and i hope you enjoyed!

rb :heart: