ryden myrellis-verilla. 15.

mid-april, 91 add.

thursday afternoon.

"We're screwed, though-"

"How did this even happen?"

"Are you kidding me?"

Ryden shut the classroom door behind him and ambled over to his friends, who had claimed a table up against the far wall. The science lab was full of chattering students- all of them his Science Olympiad teammates- and while the nerves had slowly been mounting throughout the semester, the anxiety was more noticeable than normal.

As soon as he set his stuff down, Lexi leaned across the table, her eyes big. "Did you hear?" she hissed.

"Hear what?"

"About the teacher's lounge?"

"I thought we weren't allowed in there," Ryden replied, furrowing his brow.

Dai shook his head. "We're not going in there," he said. "Absolutely not. Not after yesterday."

"You really didn't hear about this?" Lexi asked.

"I don't know? Maybe?"

Dai sighed. "The food poisoning thing."

"Oh. I heard some teachers got sick, yeah. It sounded terrible." He straightened his glasses, trying to find something to do with his hands to avoid thinking about it too hard. It had sounded terrible.

"Not just some," Lexi said. "Like… most of them. I heard a rumor we might not even have school tomorrow because of it."

Ryden stared at her. "It's that bad?"

"Yes! How did you not hear-"

"I'm hearing now," Ryden interrupted. "I was sort of buried in studying for that geometry test all day."

Dai sighed. "Yeah. So all the teachers are out, pretty much. Including Mr. Keldysh."

"Wait- for how long?" Ryden asked, his heart sinking. "We've got All-District on Saturday."

"Probably until then," Dai said solemnly.

"Oh no. Oh no."

"Yeah."

"We can't compete without a coach," Ryden said. "And we only have one day left to prep."

"I know," Dai replied.

Lexi wrinkled her nose. "Apparently they had their last teacher meeting catered," she informed them. "That was what got them. Hope it was worth All-District."

"And there are no other teachers who could coach?"

"Most of the science department is wiped out," Lexi said.

"That sucks," Ryden said.

"Shhh- look-" Dai said.

"Hey, guys!" one of the seniors called, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "Sorry. Mr. Keldysh isn't coming today. He's out with food poisoning, and he probably won't be back in time for All-District on Saturday."

The students erupted into discussion. Most had heard the news already, but some were hearing it for the first time, and others just wanted to react loudly. This included Lexi, who yelled, "It's his fault for eating those bad tacos!"

"Were they tacos?" Ryden asked. Lexi was pretty good at finding out all sorts of stuff, so he figured she would know.

Lexi shrugged in response. "I don't know."

The senior waved her hands. After another few seconds, the room quieted down enough for her to speak again. "So we have two options," she continued. "We either forfeit-"

Several students started talking at once.

"-or," she shouted, "we find another coach!"

"Steph," one of the other seniors interrupted, "all the teachers are out. There's no one we could ask."

"We could ask another school?" one person called out.

"They're all our rivals," someone else argued. "What about graduates?"

"Has anyone kept in touch with any?" Steph called.

As the rest of the team continued to discuss, Lexi gave Ryden a look.

"What?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "I know someone we could ask."

"Really? Who?"

"You're the smartest person I know, Ryden," she said, exasperated. "Think."

"Oh." Ryden scratched his head. "I don't know…"

Dai put the pieces together. "That's not a bad idea, actually."

"I think he's busy, though," Ryden said. "His finals are coming up. And he didn't actually go here."

Lexi peeked over at the rest of the room. "I think they're running into the same issue. For asking old graduates."

"It's worth a shot, though, right?" Dai asked.

"What if he says no?" Ryden asked.

"Then he says no," Lexi replied.

"Yeah, but, like…" Ryden trailed. "I don't know."

"From the way you talk about him, I doubt he will," Lexi said.

"You talk about him all the time," Dai added.

"Not all the time," Ryden said, flustered.

"Well…"

"I just see him a lot! He lives in our house!" Ryden defended.

Steph looked over at them. "Do you guys have an idea?"

Ryden shrank down in his chair as the rest of the team turned to look at his table.

"No pressure," Steph added. "It just seemed like you were getting farther than we were."

Lexi nodded. "We have someone we can ask."

"We?" Ryden asked.

"Ryden has someone he can ask to coach us on Saturday," Lexi rephrased.

"Who?" Steph asked.

"Wait, what?" Townes asked.

In preparation for his finals, Townes had taken over the entirety of the kitchen table with his notes and study sheets and books. Ryden had found him there when he walked in, and based on the empty cup of coffee next to him, he guessed Townes had been there a long time.

"We need a coach for All-District on Saturday," Ryden said, shifting from foot to foot and trying not to look too hopeful.

"And… you're asking me to fill in?"

"Yes."

Townes grinned. "For real?"

"It's okay if you can't," Ryden rushed. "I know you have your finals stuff soon-"

Townes waved his hand. "Not until Monday," he said. "I can cram if I have to."

"Really?"

Townes nodded. "Duh. Absolutely. I'll be fine. What do I need to do?"

"Well, the competition is Saturday," Ryden said, "and we have a meeting on Friday. So you could come to that too."

"When does it start?"

"Three-thirty."

"No problem." Townes rubbed his hands together eagerly. "I can't believe this."

"So you can go?"

"Definitely."

Ryden hesitated. "And you want to?"

"Are you kidding me?" he asked. "Of course I do!"

Ryden grinned. "Cool."

"Even if it wasn't Science Olympiad, I'd do it," Townes said. "Even if it was… I don't know… even if it was basketball."

He cocked his head. "You know how to play basketball?"

"No," Townes admitted. "But neither do you. So this is even better."

"Oh. Okay."

"Let me finish reviewing this chapter so that your brother doesn't change the locks on me or something, and then I'll go over the rules again," Townes mused. "I mean- it's only been three years, so I doubt too much has changed, but it's good to double check. And you guys should be pretty prepared already, given that it's April and this is your last competition-"

Down the hall, the front door opened and shut. "Hello?" Esper called.

"Hi," Ryden called back. "I'm home."

A few moments later, Esper arrived in the kitchen and set a bag on the counter.

"What's that?" Ryden asked.

"More coffee filters," Esper replied grimly. "We were almost out. It would've been a disaster."

Ryden, who disliked coffee himself but was very familiar with what Esper looked like without it, nodded solemnly. "Good save."

Esper narrowed his eyes at him.

"I was being serious!"

"Okay, okay." Esper looked over at Townes. "Please tell me you were actually studying while I was gone."

"Of course I was!" Townes replied. "I'm deeply offended by that implication."

"How far did you get?"

"I'm almost done with chapter seven. Relax."

"Okay." Esper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We can probably get to chapter nine tonight, and then save the last three for tomorrow. And then for next Wednesday's final-"

"Oh, by the way," Townes interrupted. "I'll be busy tomorrow. So I can't study until later."

"What? Why?" Esper demanded.

Townes smiled. "I have plans."

"Doing what?"

"Science Olympiad with Ryden," Townes replied.

"You're not in high school."

Townes gestured at Ryden, who cleared his throat. "Our coach has food poisoning," he said. "And we can't compete on Saturday without one. And all the other teachers are out, too, so someone said we should ask old graduates… and… yeah."

"And I said yes," Townes added.

Esper sighed.

"I cannot abandon Ryden in his hour of need!" Townes exclaimed, seeing the look on Esper's face.

"I'm not asking you to," Esper said. "We'll just study later, I guess."

"Exactly! It'll be fine! We'll only lose a few hours."

"Sorry about your coach, Ryden," Esper said.

"He'll be okay by next week," Ryden replied. "I'm just glad we were able to find someone else."

Townes grinned. "No problem."

Esper groaned. "You're going to be insufferable about this, aren't you?"

"Am not."

Esper made eye contact with Ryden. "Good luck with your new coach."

"Not that he'll need it," Townes added.

Ryden smiled. "Thanks."

"Hey! You don't need it!"

friday afternoon.

When they started filing in to their meeting the next day after school, Townes was already there, leaning against the whiteboard with a visitor ID clipped to his shirt. A few of the seniors went up and introduced themselves as everyone got settled, and they were soon having a very animated discussion- something about rule changes- but Ryden wasn't really listening. He found his usual spot with his friends and sat down.

"Told you he'd say yes," Lexi said, grinning.

"I'm really glad he did," Dai remarked. "I feel like we should get him a thank-you present or something."

One of the sophomores heard them talking and leaned over. "Let's see how he does first," he said. "What does he even like?"

"He'll do great," Ryden replied. "And he's helping us out super-last minute, and he's not even paid by the school. I'm sure he'd appreciate a present."

"What about a mug?" Dai asked.

"A mug?" Ryden asked.

"Like a 'Best Coach' mug or something."

"He'd probably love that," Ryden admitted. "Like… way too much."

"I'll tell Steph about it once we leave," Dai nodded.

"Alright!" Townes announced. "Hello! I'm Townes, and I'll be your coach for the next few days. Some of you guys already told me what the usual plan is in here, and we'll stick with that."

Before he could continue, one of the juniors raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"What are your coaching qualifications?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

Townes put his hands on his hips. "My team," he replied, "was the 88th District Six All-District champion. I was a high school valedictorian. And I'm on track for college valedictorian, too."

"Which events did you do?"

"A mix of study events and building events," he answered.

"No lab events?"

"One or two. Why? What's your event?"

"Chemistry Lab."

"Which is an event I've done before, so I'm perfectly qualified to be your coach," Townes stated firmly. "Anyone else have any questions?"

(Ryden had spent a lot of time with Townes in the three years he'd known him. But he'd never seen him like this before. Even when Townes was serious, which wasn't often, he was never so… stern? Especially not in a borderline professional environment. It was a side Ryden hadn't witnessed, and it somehow made him appreciate how skilled Townes truly was even more.)

"What time are we going until tonight?" another student asked.

"Same time as normal," he answered. "It's the night before- I'm not gonna push you that hard. And we'll do the same groups in the same classrooms as normal. I'll rotate through them until the meeting is over. Does that sound good?"

The team nodded their agreement.

Townes clapped his hands together. "Good! So let's break up into study teams, lab teams, and build teams, then…"

Ryden grabbed his stuff to head over to the classroom next door. Lexi gathered her things, preparing to join her lab group, and Dai settled in for his study review.

"Good luck," he told Dai.

Dai waved him off. "I'll be fine," he replied. "Just some last-minute review. And I'll be interested to see if Townes has any advice, actually."

"Yeah, you should definitely ask him," Ryden said.

Lexi nodded, already starting to walk away. "Lots of work to do for me," she said. "I'll see you both later!"

Ryden waved goodbye to Dai and started to follow her out the door. In the hallway, though, he ran into Townes.

"Ryden!"

"Hi."

Townes frowned. "You didn't come say hi to me."

"You looked busy. I didn't want to interrupt."

"I wouldn't have minded!"

"Okay. Sorry."

Townes lowered his voice as other students continued to pass them. "Do you think it's going okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Ryden said, nodding.

"Good first impression?"

"For sure."

"Okay." Townes pursed his lips. "I can't believe that one girl called me on my credentials."

"Lexi says she's the worst," Ryden whispered. "She always one-ups her in lab."

"Noted," Townes replied.

"And you responded well."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Townes rubbed his jaw. "Okay. Good. Any advice on which group to start with?"

"Labs. Lexi just said there's lots to do still. And the study events seem pretty set already. I think Dai said he's just revising his study sheet for the most part."

"Nice. I'll save the best for last, then," Townes replied.

"...Which one?"

"The build events, obviously," Townes said, grinning.

"Oh! That's where my event is."

"Yeah, I know."

The hallway was almost empty. "I'm gonna go check on the lab events before they blow something up," Townes said. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

Townes continued grinning as he reached over and mussed Ryden's hair so forcefully he nearly knocked his glasses askew. "Bye!"

Ryden rolled his eyes. "Bye, Townes."

After their meeting, Ryden stuck around and waited for Townes to finish chatting with some of the other team members. He busied himself with pushing in chairs and brushing eraser shavings off surfaces to kill time.

Eventually, it was just the two of them.

Townes checked his watch. "Next bus isn't for half an hour," he said. "Plenty of time. Wanna start walking?"

"Sure."

Ryden led the way out of the school, Townes half a step behind him and to his right with his book bag slung over his shoulder.

"How do you feel about tomorrow?" Townes asked.

"Fine."

"You sure?"

(No.)

Ryden shrugged, avoiding Townes' gaze. "Yeah, why?"

"Just checking," Townes replied. "You've got a really good team. There wasn't much I needed to do today."

"That's good."

"It is!" he replied. "And most of your teammates were really cool, too. Most of them."

"That's fair."

"So you don't need to stress out about it."

"I'm not stressed."

"I mean this in the nicest way, okay?" Townes said. "I don't believe you."

Ryden casted a glance his way. "Why not?"

"Because you haven't made eye contact with me once this entire conversation," Townes replied.

"...Oh."

"It was one of the first things Esper ever told me about you," he shrugged.

"What?"

They exited Ryden's high school and took a left down the sidewalk. "Well, first he said he'd do anything for you and threatened to ruin our group projects to try to get me to not go to your seventh-grade invitational," he said.

(That did sound like Esper.)

"But he also said this thing," Townes continued, "about how you used to be really uncomfortable around him after his Games, and that you had trouble looking him in the eye."

Ryden cringed. "Yeah."

(Ryden Myrellis-Verilla would never forget that summer. When he closed his eyes, he could still picture it- every light and appliance turned off save the television to conserve electricity, bathing their tiny apartment in an eerie fluorescent glow. He and Rhylee huddled around their little screen day and night, often falling asleep on the floor or on the couch, to short bursts of fitful sleep. The relief every time they saw him onscreen. Wondering if he would be alive in his next appearance.

He didn't know if he'd ever be able to describe the feeling he got in his chest when he'd watched his brother kill those tributes. The boy who tucked him in at night strangled a girl with no hesitation. The brother who scraped together their spare change for cake mix on their birthdays threw a tribute into an electrocuted pool. The closest person he'd ever had to a dad had stabbed someone in the heart countless times.

He'd always been glad that Esper lived. There was never a doubt in his mind that he was grateful his brother lived. But he didn't know how to reconcile the Esper he knew with the Esper he'd seen. He was afraid. He still felt a bit guilty about it, but it was the truth. He'd been afraid of his brother, and afraid that the person who would do anything for him had done so much in Ryden's name that he wasn't Esper anymore. That the hands that had practically raised him could turn on him.

Esper hadn't. Ryden knew by now that if Esper was a danger to anyone in that house, it was to himself. And that only made Ryden's guilt worse.

So yes, he'd had trouble looking Esper in the eye. Ryden regretted his fear, and he suspected he always would.

But it didn't change what had happened.)

Townes watched him for a long moment. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Ryden exhaled. "Sorry, what?"

"You looked like you were thinking about something really hard," Townes replied.

"Oh."

"Just nerves?" Townes asked. "Or something else?"

They crossed the street. "I'm trying not to be nervous," Ryden admitted. "But also… it's like… I don't know. I- I didn't mean to not make eye contact. Sorry."

"You're fine, I just wanted to make sure that you were good." They stopped on the corner, waiting to cross the street again. "You know something?"

"What?"

"I feel like I've spent a lot of time watching Esper recover, you know? But I've kind of been watching you bounce back, too."

Ryden adjusted his glasses. "Yeah?"

"For sure. Like you've sort of done the opposite of the whole teenager thing where you hide in your room whenever your family's around. When I met you, you started in your room and then spent more and more time outside of it."

"I guess that's true."

"It's nice to see." The light changed, and they started walking again. "Especially because, like… I don't know if you've noticed, but I really like hanging out at your house."

"You live there," Ryden pointed out.

"Well, I do now," Townes said. "But I wouldn't be living there now if I hated it there."

"That makes sense."

He hesitated. "What I'm trying to say is that your house has always been a safe place for me, and you're a part of that," Townes said.

Ryden glanced at him. "I am?"

"For sure."

"Huh."

"So I hope that, like… I'm not intruding on your life, or making you feel uncomfortable."

"You're not."

"Yeah?"

"Not at all," Ryden said. "I wasn't uncomfortable. I was just thinking."

"If you're ever uncomfortable with me being around, you can say something about it, okay?" Townes said. "Just let me know?"

"No, no, I'm not. It's nice having you around."

"Yeah?"

"You're my friend," Ryden pointed out.

"Very true."

"And you're… I think you're… good. For him."

"You do?"

"It's like…" Ryden trailed. "I think you- you help him a lot. But also… all three of us."

Townes furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Ryden was silent for a long moment, struggling to put his thoughts together as they walked down the last block and sat down at the bus stop. "Everything felt more normal when you started coming around."

"I don't think I've ever been called normal," Townes mused.

"I don't know," Ryden said. "You just treated him normally. It helped to watch, especially at home. Because I… I didn't really know how to talk to him anymore, and Rhylee sort of didn't either- or he wouldn't talk back, I don't really know- but you just did it. And it made everything less… tense?"

Townes nodded, listening quietly.

"And also, like… it was only ever the three of us," Ryden said. He shrugged. "It was sort of lonely sometimes. And a lot of work. So yeah, it's a little different now, I guess. But I think all three of us like it. Well, Esper definitely does, but I can't speak for Rhylee. But I think she does too."

"Thank you for telling me that," Townes said. "I really appreciate it."

Ryden nodded. "Yeah. For sure."

Townes exhaled. "Cool."

Ryden nodded again.

"And for the record," Townes said, "I do think you'll do well tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"No doubt in my mind," he said. He nudged Ryden with his elbow. "So don't stress yourself out too much. You'll nail it."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

saturday afternoon.

The test-taking events had been funneled off to their own rooms, and the lab events had been guided into labs, which left the building events in the gymnasium. The bleachers along one wall were decently crowded while the other was half-full with students who had already completed their events, and the floor was packed with tables, one table per team. Voices echoed through the room as Ryden's event- building the tallest possible structure with as few materials as possible- arrived at their last few moments of work time.

"I'm serious," Ryden said. "I think it needs a tiny bit more support."

"But that means we'll use too many materials," one of the juniors argued. "It'll fuck up our proportions."

"But then it could collapse, and we'd be disqualified."

"It's not that we'd have too many materials," a senior pointed out. "Just slightly more than the original plan."

"That plan was approved by Mr. Keldysh and the temp coach," the junior replied.

"Townes," Ryden quietly corrected. "Not 'temp coach.'"

One of the other juniors turned and did a quick sweep of the room. "Ours is already the tallest," she whispered. "Let's just leave it as is."

Ryden turned, searching for Townes. The front row of the bleachers were reserved for coaches- they couldn't watch the study events for obvious reasons, and the lab events Ryden's school was doing were already completed. He found their coach with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on top of his fist, squinting at their structure. His siblings were about halfway up the bleachers, and he'd waved to them earlier. But right now, he was looking at Townes.

(The confidence Ryden had always associated with Townes- the confidence he'd witnessed at yesterday's meeting- was not there.)

"I think we should add a support beam at the base," he said, turning back to his team. "Just a tiny one, so we can increase the center of gravity."

The first junior groaned. "Ryden-"

The senior tilted her head, examining their work so far. "We could make the beam even smaller if we extended it from another beam instead of the base," she said. "It would have the same effect."

"Oh, I see what you mean," the other junior replied. She was already reaching for the tub of popsicle sticks and the hot glue gun.

"If we mess with it, it could fall that way, too," the junior boy pointed out.

"It'll fall if there's a big enough breeze," Ryden said. "And the judges are gonna walk around."

"They're not going to run."

"Let's control what we can," the senior interjected. "Add the support. Come on- there's only a minute left, we have to do this quick-"

As the two girls modified their structure, Ryden glanced over at Townes again. This time, he found that Townes was looking right at him, nodding along with their last-minute change.

Ryden flashed Townes a quick thumbs-up, raising his eyebrows. Are we doing okay?

Townes flashed a thumbs-up back. Doing great.

As his teammates stepped away from their sculpture, the basketball timer went off with a loud buzz, forcing everyone to stop working on their structures. Ryden looked around the room- the judges would come around with tape measures and scales, but he wanted to see if anyone had made something taller than them. A few teams had moved their structures from the table to the floor, though, which made it hard to tell. He'd have to wait for the awards to learn who won for sure. So for now, Ryden and the rest of his team turned and rejoined everyone else on the bleachers.

He found Dai quickly. "How'd it go?"

"Well, I think!" Dai replied. "I finished it faster than I thought I would. Townes showed us a better way to organize our study sheets, and I tried it, and I think it worked."

"That's good!"

"Yeah! Oh, and I found one of those mugs we were talking about," Dai added. "We can give it to him afterwards."

"Cool."

On the gym floor, the judges started measuring the structures from various events. Around ten minutes later, Lexi showed up, her lips pursed together tightly.

"Hi, Lexi…" Ryden trailed.

"That was so much more difficult than it needed to be," she muttered. "I hope I'm never on a team with that girl ever again."

"You could always switch to a solo event," Dai chimed in.

"At this rate, I might, honestly. But that's a next year problem."

Dai and Lexi continued chatting. Ryden watched the judges, his foot tapping restlessly against the old wooden bleachers.

(He glanced at the other set of bleachers across the room, too. Esper and Rhylee were talking to each other- Rhylee was smiling at something he'd said- and Townes was also watching the judges make their rounds. After a moment, Townes looked up, catching Ryden's gaze. Before Ryden could look away, Townes flashed another thumbs-up at him.

Ryden took a deep breath and did a thumbs-up back.)

When Ryden looked back on the score announcements of his freshman year All-District competition, there were three things that he remembered most, in ascending order.

First: the judges announcing the scores from lowest to highest, the anticipation building until they reached the last two teams. He remembered Lexi squeezing his hand so hard he thought it would explode. When the judges broke the tension and announced their team as the overall winners, everyone around him jumped up, celebrating, and Lexi dragged him up by the hand as the chaos erupted.

Second: he would remember finding Townes across the room, standing and clapping furiously, his grin the biggest Ryden had ever seen it.

Third: he saw Esper and Rhylee, also standing, also clapping. Both of them were beaming, and Esper was shaking Rhylee by the shoulders, making her laugh. She tried to smack his hands away but ended up crashing into him, nearly taking both of them down until Esper caught her. They both started laughing harder as both turned back towards Ryden. Esper caught Ryden watching them and waved. Rhylee joined in.

Ryden waved back at them, suddenly struggling to keep the smile on his face.

(What was wrong with him? How much time had Ryden wasted being afraid his brother was gone when he was right in front of him? Esper had always promised he'd come back. He'd fulfilled that promise, and Ryden had reacted by- by what? Losing trust in him? By shrinking away every time he saw the scars he'd endured? By struggling with a gut instinct to run every time he woke up to his brother screaming?

Esper had always loved him. And Ryden had always loved Esper, too- but he'd let his fear cloud that for a long time. Heat rose to his cheeks as he watched his older brother cheer for him as he always had. As Ryden had struggled to do for him.

Esper deserved a better brother than Ryden.)

After the placements were announced, the teams had to stick around for a while to receive their awards and take photographs. Townes made his way through the crowd to Ryden.

"They're gonna meet us at home!" he shouted over the din. "Congrats! You guys deserved it!"

"We wouldn't even be here without you," Ryden shouted back.

"I barely did anything!" Townes pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight as the crowd jostled them. Ryden hugged him back. Some of his teammates noticed Townes had arrived and started mobbing them as they pulled apart. He saw Dai pass Townes the #1 Coach mug they'd gotten him, which Townes held aloft like a trophy. That got everyone riled up again, and Ryden was once again swept away in the excitement, trying to focus on their victory instead of the shame burning in his chest.

Eventually, once everyone had calmed down and started heading home for the night- there were plans to have a party during their usual meeting time on Monday- it was just him and Townes again, walking to the bus stop.

"That was great!" Townes exclaimed. "Man, I missed Science Olympiad."

Ryden nodded. "Yeah."

"That was so much fun."

"Mhm."

"And this mug! Look at it! I love this thing!"

"That's good."

Townes gave him a look. "What?"

"What?"

"For a guy who just won both his event and the whole competition, you don't seem very excited." Townes nudged him with his elbow as they turned a corner.

"I'm excited!" Ryden attempted.

"Are you proud of yourself?"

"Yes."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes!"

"So what's with the long face? Oh- is it 'cause the season's over?" Townes asked. "That does suck. But it's your freshman season! You've got lots of time left!"

"No, it's like…" Ryden trailed. "I don't know. I was thinking about some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

His cheeks were starting to get hot again. "Esper stuff."

"...Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Like what we were talking about yesterday, or…?"

"Kinda, yeah."

"Okay." They crossed the street. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ryden sighed. "I… um. I just feel bad."

"About what?"

"How- how I acted."

Townes frowned. "Did something happen?"

"No. No, like- a while ago."

"Recently? Or when he got back?"

"When he got back. And… a while after that. Like kind of for a long time."

Townes nodded. "I see. Do you want to just talk, and I can hear you out, or do you want advice?"

"The second one."

"Cool. So I'm sure you know this already, but I was also not super nice to your brother for a while. And I'm pretty sure my reasons were way less legitimate than yours."

"I don't know," Ryden mumbled.

"I was mean," Townes said. "I was. But here's the thing, yeah?"

"What?"

"He's pretty good at talking about that kind of stuff," Townes said. "And he loves you."

"Oh."

Townes nudged him again. "A lot."

"I… yeah."

"And he's actually a lot more forgiving than he looks," Townes added. "I would know."

"That's true," Ryden admitted.

"So maybe… talk to him about it?" Townes asked.

Ryden squirmed. "Right now?"

"When you're ready to," Townes said. "He's ass-deep in finals right now anyway."

"Oh, okay. Cool." Ryden paused. "'Ass-deep?' Is that a phrase?"

"It is now."

"And you're telling me about my brother's ass… why?"

This time, Townes' elbow was sharper. "That's not what I meant!"

Ryden stumbled to the side, grinning. "I'm just saying."

"I can't believe you?!"

"You said it!"

"Unbelievable." They made one last turn. "But I did mean the other thing. Just talk to him. It'll be fine."

Ryden's smile faltered. "Okay."

"It will be," Townes insisted.

Ryden nodded.

"But for now," Townes said, "we're gonna go home, and celebrate your win."

"Okay."

"Because all of us are proud of you," Townes said, reaching over and ruffling his hair again before Ryden could duck away, "and you deserve it!"

Ryden ran his hands through his hair, trying to fix it. "Okay, okay!"

"I had a lot of fun! Thank you for asking me to coach!" Townes continued, his voice getting louder as he shook Ryden's shoulder. "I hope you also had fun!"

Ryden smacked at his hand, starting to laugh. "Calm down."

"I will not! This is a big deal!" Townes declared, almost shouting. "Ryden won Science Olympiad! And I am proud of him!"

"Would you stop-"

"He is very cool!" Townes shouted. "And he will go on to do lots of cool things!"

"Townes!"

"What?" he yelled.

"Stop it!"

"Only if you admit that you're cool and you did a good job!"

"Fine! I'm cool and I did a good job!"

Townes nodded, satisfied. "Good!"

Ryden shook his head. "You're crazy."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Townes said at normal volume.

"Sure."

"I will. Thank you for the compliment."

The look on Townes' face was so triumphant that Ryden started laughing. "Okay."

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No?"

Townes went to elbow him again, but Ryden dodged him, still laughing. He was still laughing when the bus pulled up. Townes managed to keep him smiling until they made it home, where he discovered Rhylee had made cupcakes.

The rest of the night was good. They celebrated as long as they could until Esper and Townes had to return to their finals cramming, and by then Ryden was exhausted.

(But every time he talked to Esper, he made sure not to look away. Not to flinch. Not to let old feelings ruin another good moment.

Because Ryden was grateful that his brother had come home.

Hopefully, soon he'd be able to tell him that himself.)