Chapter 8

Meg was feeling very comfortable in Harm's company. It had been some years since she had felt this way, no one made her feel this safe, maybe with the exception of Bruce. She was just about to lean her head back and just relax for the rest of the ride when a sign caught her attention.

"Oh… Harm could we pull of here … just for a few minutes" she said with a little trembling in her voice.

Looking up, Harm noticed the sign for Arlington National Cemetery and immediately understood Meg's change of mood. He saw the weathered look that was in her beautiful eyes and felt an unbidden lump growing in his throat, he hated the idea that she had to go through all the pain that she went through.

He nodded silently and pulled of into Arlington Cemetery, got out and came around to open the passenger door for Meg. He followed a few discreet paces behind as they drew closed to the grave itself; he assumed she'd want a few moments to herself.

The white cross stood out stark and cold in the evening … like hundreds of others surrounding it, a small ocean of messengers of death and loss. Harm watched her slowly approach it, folding his arms across his chest as if to ward off a chill and waited quietly.

Meg stood silently at the grave a lump in her throat and tears brimming in her eyes. She kneeled down and reached out a hand towards the marker. With a gentle touch she brushed her fingers over the name of her husband engraved in the granite.

"Hi. It's been so long since I've been here…I've been so much time overseas and busy with work that I never got the time to come here as often as I would have wanted to. I asked your sister Julia to come visit you more often but I guess you already know that. I'm rambling ... "she thought with a sigh. " I'm sorry that I was not able to save you…but I swear that I would make them pay for what they did to you" she whispered and turned her head a little to take a little glance in Harm's direction. "Harm is here with me, he is going to help me with the case. He's such a good friend to me and never even held a grudge against me for not keeping in touch… You were right even if I was in denial. I still have feelings for him... I want you to know that I'll never forget you and I'll try to the best of my abilities to keep the promise I've made to you. Hope the next time I come here I can bring you happy news but until then I hope you and daddy will watch over us all. Love you fuzzy bear…" she finished kissing her fingers and gingerly touching the engraved name.

Behind her Harm was having is own conversation with his friend. "I'm sorry that I never came to visit you Bruce and for the way we've parted. It's funny how we've let our egos get the best of us. I hope that wherever you are you can forgive me for my passed misjudgements and I also what you to know that I will take good care of Meg" he thought to himself, feeling saddened by the lose of another friend.

He saw Meg get up from the ground and walk towards him with gentle and caring eyes, despite the tears that had fallen from them, and he realized that she knew exactly what he was thinking

"He forgave you long ago Harm" she told him in a soft almost whispery tone as her gentle hand touched his cheek lightly sending a little shiver down his spine. He just nodded unable to find his voice and they started to walk back to the car.

"Thanks for this Harm, it really meant a lot to me that you were here with me" she said standing by the car.

"Any time Meg" he said with a gentle smile on his lips as he opened the door for her.

"So what do you say if we resume our previous plan and go Chez Rabb for our pizza and our talk" he said with a dazzling smile on his face as they were pulling out of the cemetery.

"Oh, so you'll show me yours and I'll show you mine" she said with a wicked grin also feeling the need to change their mood.

Harm just laughed aloud and shook his head slightly. "How I've missed you Meg…" he admitted taking her hand in his and kissing it softly. Looking at her for a second he continued "You look great by the way".

Meg smiled at his compliment and said "And you 'sir', look like you need a lot more sleep and a little less work. Admiral Chegwidden is keeping you busy it seems".

"Hm… that's practically so" he admitted but didn't say anything more. Meg didn't need to know how stranded things had been for him ever since he had come back at JAG.

The rest of the ride was accomplished in relative silence punctuated only by a little talk they had about Harm's mother and grandmother. He knew that both women would be thrilled to see Meg again. "That is if you can convince her to stay Rabb" he thought to himself.

Arriving at his apartment building Harm saw the skeptical look Meg gave, he knew just how deceiving it could look.

Fiddling with his keys until he found the key to his apartment he took Meg's hand said "Shall we?"

"You are kidding right?" she said peering down the ominous looking alley way. "You know I'm not carrying any concealed weapons" she finished as they reached the side door of the building

Harm just shook his head a little and said "It's quite safe, trust me".

He led her up the stairs to his apartment, opened the door and let Meg go in first.

Meg was amazed at how wonderful his apartment looked. "Harm this looks amazing, it suites you" she said moving towards the kitchen counter to deposit the pizza. She felt Harm brush past her and whisper in her ear with a curious tone "You often carry around concealed weapons, Commander?". Turning her head slightly she could see that his soulful eyes had a mischievous glint as he wandered off to his bedroom, taking off his jacket.

She moved towards his bedroom door and leant against it shamelessly ogling him while he was changing, remembering the many times she had admired his lean and muscular body during their partnership. It was no wonder that all the women that had met him had fallen at his feet. With his looks and personality he could make any woman's heart melt away and she had been no exception. Kate had worn her long ago but the moment she had met him she had felt all her resolve slip away. Coming back from her reverie she finally answered him "My daddy told me to always be prepared".

Harm whirled around at the sound of her voice. Seeing her at his bedroom door made his blood go faster and realized that it was not an unbecoming image to come home to every night. Pulling his tee-shirt over his head he stopped closer to her and propped his hand on the door frame near her face. He looked her up and down in a mock search of any concealed weapons. "Prepared for what" he finished with a wicked look.

Meg swallowed hard affected by his nearness. "We should probably get started on the pizza before it gets cold" she said ducking away from him before her knees would give away.

Harm felt a little disappointed that she hadn't gone all the way with the challenge. They had played this game all through the year of their partnership and it was always Meg that pulled away not letting them cross the fine line they'd been dancing on. He'd always been thankful to her for that, but now…now he wanted her not just as a friend.

He went to the stereo to put on his favorite CD and also to distract himself from the tantalizing image that Meg created with the simple act of setting the table.

Turning around he could see the small smile that she had on her lips as she was taking a couple of diet sodas from the fridge.

"Something amusing?" he asked as he was sitting at the table.

"No, just thinking" she answered with a little blush on her cheeks realizing that she'd been caught.

"Of?" he asked taking a bite of his pizza.

"You" she answered looking him straight in his eyes. "I was wondering how many hearts you have broken over the years?

"And why would you think I've broken any hearts?' he asked with a glint in his eyes. He was also curious what she thought about him.

"Come on Harm, you know that with your looks, smile and personality you make every woman that meets you, fall over" she finished with an impish smile.

"That may be Meg, but over the passing years I only got my own heart broken" he answered with a sigh.

"Sorry Harm I didn't mean to sadden you" she said squeezing his hand.

"It's alright Meg" he said waving a hand in dismissal.

"But what about you? Anyone waiting for you back in Hawaii?" he asked holding his breath a little.

"No one. After Bruce died I just thrown myself into my work and never had time or felt the need to date again. And besides all the other men I came in contact with were either on one of Navy Intel's watch list or in my same chain of command" she finished with a chuckle.

"I guess you are right on that part" he said chuckling himself. "I still can't believe that you worked with Navy Intel so many years."

"It wasn't easy, but believe it or not I actually enjoyed it despite the dangers" Meg answered taking a sip of her soda.

"Enjoyed it more than working at JAG and with me?" he asked putting a hand to his heart .

"No way, I enjoyed the trouble you always got us into. It was good practice otherwise how do you think I would have been able get out alive from all those missions as a spook" she said laughing.

"Very funny Mrs. Bond" he smiled one of his dazzling smiles. "Since the first day I met you, you were so career driven…"

Meg smiled at the thought of their first assignment on the Tigershark. "You were so mean to me..."

"I was not!" he protested good-naturedly.

"Oh yeah! You were the one that accused me of having a suicide complex." Meg said.

"Only because you jumped from 30ft of the deck" he replied.

"That was because you didn't give me a chance" she replied back.

"Meg there was no way that you would have made it onto that sub in that kind of weather. Even an experienced officer couldn't have made it in that storm…" he argued.

"Well, you should have given me a chance!" Meg said with a pout.

"I let you stay on the assignment didn't I?" Harm conceded

"After you called me a faint hearted female" she answered back.

"Ok, maybe that was a little cruel." he conceded raising his hands. "But you proved to be stronger and braver than many officers I've met over the years" he finished with a tender smile.

"We had some good times working together, didn't we?" Meg asked softly.

"Yes, I guess we did" he said staring at his can. "I miss working with you, you know" he said with a sad voice.

"You just miss the way I used to clean up after you, I've seen the state your office was in" she said with a crooked smile.

Harm chuckled "It's not just that… there was something so comfortable about us working together. I guess I just miss that".

"What about your new partner? I heard she's a Marine. I'm just surprised you two haven't killed each other yet" Meg finished noticing Harm's sad look.

"Mac's a very good lawyer and a good partner but we keep getting on each other's toes. I guess we're a little too different" he said with a sigh.

Meg was watching him intently and knew that there was something more. She was biting her lower lip trying to decide if she should ask the question or not.

"Do you love her?" she finally asked.

Harm was shocked, the question coming from left field. He could see it in her eyes that she had somehow figured out that there was more than a simple professional relationship with Mac. He thought seriously about the question and came to the same conclusion as before.

Meg felt sorry for asking him such a personal question but now that the cat was out of the bag she had no other option that to wait for his answer.

"No, at least not the way you think Meg" he finally answered. "My relationship with Mac was always a complicated one and I admit that at one point I even thought myself in love with her. But were are to different for that kind of relationship to actually end well. We are in the same chain of command and she's engaged to be married. I love her but only as a good friend nothing more" he finished with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked such a personal question." Meg said looking down at her plate.

"No Meg, don't be" he said touching her had so that she would look at him. He wanted to look her in the eyes and let her know that there was only one woman that he had a romantic interest in, and that woman was her.

Looking silently Meg thought she saw longing in his eyes and other feelings she had never seen before but dismissed them for fear it was just her eyes playing tricks on her.

"You helped me voice some truths that I have avoided months to admit even to myself" he said with a small smile softly squeezing her hand.

"Glad to be of assistance" she smiled back returning the squeeze.

"And anyway Mac is little hard headed and stubborn for my liking" he said trying to lighten the atmosphere. "But then again so was my former partner" he finished in a teasing tone.

"Are you referring to ME?" Meg asked, fainting being offended.

"Who else", he answered.

"Name one time that I was ever stubborn and hard headed", Meg challenged.

"Let's see, there was this time I told you not to go on your little dinner date with Colonel Barzan…" he said pointing a finger in her direction.

"Objection counselor, calls for speculation" Meg countered.

"Speculation?", Harm asked incredulously. "How is that speculation? I told you not to go, but you did. Hard headed and stubborn…"

"I wasn't being stubborn. I was doing whatever I thought was necessary to help our client" Meg argued.

"Whatever," Harm replied rolling his eyes. "How about the time…"

"Hey, I said to name just one time", Meg said laughing and throwing her napkin at him.

Harm laughed as well getting up and helping her clear the table. He admired the fact that in spite of what she had gone through she hadn't become bitter, that she still had her sunny personality and spunkiness which he always loved about her. He finally understood why it had hurt so much when she had left, he had lost the one person that always lit his days. No matter how down he was Meg had always found a way to make him feel better. And now more than ever he wanted to know the real reason of her leaving… especially after what he had found out when he bumped into Julia Carmichael.

…..

…..

"So, how is Cathy?" asked Harm as they were sitting on the couch.

"Do you remember Cathy Gold?" Meg asked with an amused smile on her face, knowing how he would react to what he was about to tell him.

"Of course, how could I forget that you thought that she was taken by little green men" he said in a teasing tone.

"I was just keeping my mind open to extreme possibilities" she answered with a chuckle.

"Right…" he said rolling his eyes. All of the sudden a strange idea crossed his mind "Don't tell me that you adopted her?" he said raising his eyebrows.

"No" she said with a little disappointment in her voice. "But got the next best thing, she's my favorite niece. Dan and his wife had adopted her" she finished in a cheery tone.

"Dan got married?" he asked astonished. He never got to meet Meg's big brother but form what she had told about him, he had pictured Dan as an eternal bachelor.

"Yup, 5 days after meeting his wife" Meg said with a little laugh.

"Must be some extraordinary lady?" Harm conceded still amazed.

"Remember me to send her your high compliment, the last time we talked about her you compared her with Attila the Hun" she finished with a wicked smile.

Harm was left speechless, trying hard to determine if she was serious or just playing with him. "He…he married The Dragon Lady? Is he out of his mind?" he finally asked in disbelief.

Meg laughed when she saw Harm's expression, it was a strange mixture between: horror, disbelief and even a bit of amusement.

"Allison said the same thing about him…" she said laughing even harder. "But contrary to everything we thought about this marriage, it seems pretty solid and she is great with Cathy. Told you she had a soft side" she finished nudging him with her shoulder.

"Wow, that was some news" he said shaking off his stupor.

"Tell me about it… I sometimes can't believe it myself. Things have really changed over the passed years" she conceded.

"Yes…" he said taking hold of her hand and looking straight in her blue eyes. "And I guess you already know the changes that have occurred to my life…"

Meg frowned a little not understanding what he had meant with that statement. The grip he had on her hand and the look in his eyes made her realize that he knew.

"Julia told you, hasn't she?" Meg asked a little lump forming in her throat. This was the moment she had been dreading the whole evening, the moment she would have to tell him the truth about her leaving JAG…

"That you've been calling her JAG office so that you can keep tabs on me, and that the little presents that kept appearing so mysteriously on my desk, either on my birthday or on Christmas , and that were signed "From a fiend..", were actually from you" he said more a statement than a question, hurt etched in his voice. "Why haven't you called me Meg? Why haven't you answered any of my letters? What ever the reason, I promise I won't get mad" he finished a little more tenderly, sensing her uneasiness.

He watched her pull her hand away from his firm grip and avoided looking him in the eyes. She got up from the couch and went over to stare out the window into the street lights hugging herself.

He sat on the couch silently waiting for her to answer the questions, hoping he could amend whatever he had done in the past that had hurt her so much, she hadn't felt able to keep a direct contact with him…