Chapter 9

The man was standing in the shadows smoking his cigar and watching the movements inside the apartment, more exactly he was watching her stand by the window. At one point thought that she had seen him but then realized that it was impossible from that distance for her to recognize him.

He had wanted to make sure that she had come, that all his plans would not be for nothing.

Very soon they will be face to face and he will finally get his revenge for all the pain and humiliation he had to endure because of her. Years of careful planning and waiting in patience for the right time will finally come into play.

"Enjoy your weekend 'Commander', it may be your last…" he said in a mocking tone as he was crushing the rest of his cigar with the heel of his boot. He took one last look in her direction and then walked away into the evening. He had a lot of details to take care before the grand meeting… he could feel the adrenalin coursing through his body only thinking about it. Revenge will be so sweet…

Looking out the window Meg could see the man that was walking away, he had something familiar about him although she could not figure out what.

Turning her thoughts back to the man that was sitting behind her on the couch, she tried hard to find the right words to tell him what has been in her heart hoping she will not make a total fool of herself.

Those feelings had sometimes made her feel guilty, especially because of Bruce. She once had asked her mother if it was possible to love two men at the same time. She had told her that, yes, it was possible to love two men at the same time but not to be IN LOVE with both of them. And she had to admit that even if she had loved Bruce very much, she had never really been in love with him. What hurt her even more and made her feel even guiltier was the fact that her husband had known that all along.

"I know you're still in love with him Meg, that's why I am asking you to make me this promise" Bruce had said taking Meg's hands into his making her look at him. "I want you to listen to me carefully and please try and understand that I do not blame you in any way and neither should you. I know very well you cannot order your heart to fall out of love with someone. I've known all of this when I asked you to marry me and I was willing to take that chance. I am in love with you and I dearly hope that in the years that will come I will be able to make you forget about him and finally fall head over heels in love with your good old husband. But…" he had stopped taking a deep breath "But if anything should happen to me…no don't… let me finish" he said putting a finger to her lips. "If anything should happen to me, promise me now that you will tell Harm how you really feel about him. I don't want you wasting your life crying for a long lost husband as I am sure you would. So promise me now Meg!" he finished in a stern voice shaking her a little.

"I…,I…,I can't do this, please don't make me do this" she has answered in a pained whisper not wanting to think about the possibility of loosing him.

"Yes you can, promise me now!" he insisted.

"Fine, I promise" she finally answered in a barely audible voice.

"Good" he said with a little relief in his voice. "As much as it pains me to admit it, Harm is the only man in this world who I would trust to take good care of you. Hopefully we will never have to part until we are both old and grey and I will be able to parade you on my arm at all the state dinners we will have to attend from now on and be the envy of all the male contingent for having such a beautiful angel at my side" he finished in good humor. He never liked putting her on the spot like that but he had to make sure she understood that he only wanted her to be happy no matter what the future hold for them both.

"So that's all I am to you? A trophy wife?" she asked in mock offence trying to lighten the atmosphere, never liking those sort of conversations.

"Remember that that was your role in this marriage of ours Mrs. Austin. I even had to take on your name…"he finished with a little chuckle tenderly kissing his wife.

Meg remembered that that evening had been the last peaceful evening she had spent with her husband before all hell broke loose. It was sort of ironic that their conversation had taken place 3 days before Bruce's death. It was like somehow he had predicted that something would happen to him.

And now here she was 5 years later, trying to keep a promise she had made to him and also to herself. Before every mission she had promised herself that if she came out of it in one piece she will try and find happiness again.

But in order to do that she had to close this chapter of her life even if at the end of it she would get even more hurt. In time, that hurt would eventually begin to fade and she would be able to get on with her life. And that chapter was Harm and the love she felt for him.

Taking a deep breath she finally spoke "You asked me why I haven't called you directly or answered any of you letters. The reason was… Well, I was scared".

"Scared of what Meg? Of me?" Harm asked in disbelief. "I may have been upset when you had left and even acted like a complete bear, as you may have found out, but you had no reason to be scared of me. For God sake Meg I thought you knew me better than that. We were best friends" he finished a little hurt etched in his voice.

"Yes I did know you better than that and I was not scared of you Harm, I was scared of what I felt for you" she said in a trembling whisper.

Harm's heart started pounding in his chest and after a few moments he asked in a trembling voice "And what did you feel for me?"

Meg swallowed hard trying hard to get past the frog that was in her throat. After what seemed an eternity to Harm she finally answered "I… did the one thing Kate had worn me before I met you. I had given into your sparkling wit and charm and have fallen in love with you".

Not hearing any reaction from Harm, she decided to continue before her courage wore out. "It's really cliché if you think about it: junior officer falls for senior officer…I never meant for it to happen but you cannot command the heart with whom to fall in love. And it didn't help too much that we seemed to be so in tune with each other. And let's not forget the attraction we tried so had to dance around". She took another deep breath trying to keep her emotions in check. "The moment I finally admitted it to myself was during the time you were taken prisoner in China. It had felt so good to finally get it out that I didn't care that I have admitted it in front of Krennick, but at the same time it made it even difficult to work alongside you. I became so afraid that at any moment I might get tempted to just give into that attraction and that would have been the end of our friendship, because I knew that what I felt for you was unrequited, and also our careers would have taken serious hits, especially yours. And I could not let that happen. So I accepted the transfer back to weapons hopping that putting some distance between us would help me forget those feelings. But unfortunately it didn't… You have no idea how hard it was for me to hear your voice everytime you called or how it hurt me when I had to throw away your letters… I know it may sound childish but it was the only way I could think of to protect my heart form getting even more hurt. to you I was just your good old partner and best friend…nothing more" she stopped trying to wipe away the tears that were falling freely down her cheeks. It was a good thing she had her back to Harm, she didn't want him to see her tears but then felt his hands gently touching her shoulders.

Upon hearing Meg's confession Harm had felt like someone had smacked him. He had no idea just how strong her feelings had been for him. His thoughts and feelings made him a little lightheaded. He felt love, anger and pain all in one. Love and elation for this wonderful person that had loved him enough to walk away; anger at himself for not seeing what was right in front of him; pain for realizing just how much he had hurt her with his ignorance. He realized just how much strength it took her to walk away, he knew that if the roles had been reversed he may have not been able to do it.

And the fact that she still spoke about those feelings with such raw emotion made him hope that they may still have a chance at true love. He knew that it would not be easy but he was willing to fight.

So he got up from the couch and slowly walked to her not feeling able to stay away from her. He needed to be close to her, to make her feel protected, to finally tell her how much she meant to him.

The moment his hands touched her shoulders he had felt the familiar jolt that had always been there whenever they touched intentionally or not. Only now it felt even stronger. He started to run his hands up and down her arms in a soothing way and was rewarded when he felt her lean into him ever so slightly, then she spoke again her voice even softer.

"Loosing Bruce made me realize just how much I missed your friendship and how alone I felt. So I started to call Julia asking her about you... it somehow made me feel better to know that you were alright. I'm sorry…"Meg stopped when she heard the same words echoed by Harm's voice. His closeness affected her immensely but she could not stand the thought of him feeling sorry for her. It felt worse than him being angry at her.

"Don't … don't feel sorry for me Harm, the last thing I ever want from you is your petty" she finished in an angry voice trying to step away from him.

Sensing her intention Harm quickly grabbed her by the arm and turned her around to face him placing his other hand on her cheek.

"What I feel for you has nothing to do with petty Meg" he said sternly looking deep into her eyes. He needed her to understand and never doubt him. They had lost so many years because of words not spoken. He didn't want for them to go through that again.

"I'm sorry that I never had the courage to tell you that you were more than just my best friend and my partner. You know that when it comes to my feelings I don't do a very good job at expressing them…what I am trying to say is that I was also in love with you and still am, even after all this time.' He finished in a ragged voice tenderly stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

Meg could not believe what she was hearing but seeing all the love reflected in his soulful eyes made her realize that it was real. The look in his eyes and his tender touch made her feel dizzy and her knees turn to jelly. She tried to find the right words to express how she felt in that moment but even her mind had turned to mush making her feel like a teenager. And as such she said one of the silliest things she had ever said to a man "I think that my knees just gave in".

Harm raised his head a little and stared at her for a few seconds not understanding her words and then just picked her up and twirled her around laughing hard. Only Meg could say such unbelievable sweet things in such moments.

"I just told you that I loved you and all you can say is that your knees gave in?" he asked in mock disbelief as he was putting her down looking into her twinkling eyes that made her look even more lovingly stunning.

"And what would you say if the man that you've been in love with for years told you that he loved you back?" she asked with an impish grin.

"Well, that may be a problem Meg, because I'm not really into men" he answered with a grin of his own, earning a mock slap on his chest. "But if the woman I'm still in love with told me that, I would probably say..." he leaned even closer to whisper in her ear. " My heart stopped and is waiting for you to make it beat again".

"And how do you suppose I do that?" she asked whispering back.

"Let me show you…" he said in a husky voice slowly touching her rosy lips with his right thumb and then dipping his head and kissing her tentatively at first and then opening his mouth on hers devouring her. It was a fierce kiss filled with all the emotion and desire they had in heir hearts. Harm's head was filled with her scents, he could not- could not believe he was kissing her and that she was responding in kind. It was much more wonderful than anything he had imagined.

Shivering, they finally parted in need of oxygen, foreheads close together, breathings ragged and hearts pounding.

"Not bad for a first kiss Mr. Rabb" Meg said with a mischievous grin.

"It was actually our fifth Mrs. Austin" he replied giving one of his crooked smiles. "Don't tell me you've forgotten about the other four?" he asked guiding her back to the couch letting her snuggle close to him.

"I'm not sure… I may need you to refresh my memory" she answered sheepishly.

Harm just chuckled and gave her another heart stopping kiss. He knew she remembered, especially when half of those kisses had been her doing. But it was one in particular that held a special place in his heart…

It happened at the beginning of their partnership, after the Thai Ambassador's wife tried to kill him. He had taken Meg out for a thank you dinner at Tony's. It had been a great evening. They had a few great laughs with Tony, all of them at Meg's expense. But when detective Axelrad came into the restaurant with a couple of buddies Meg became uncomfortable. Apparently the detective had asked her out that very evening and Meg had given a flimsy excuse of having a headache, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

She went out to take some fresh air while Harm paid for the dinner. He had seen the detective follow her and also Meg's embarrassed reaction when they talked.

When Harm came out of the restaurant Meg grabbed his jacket and said in a hurried voice "Kiss me!"

"What? Why?" he had asked shocked.

"Because we're together!" she answered back.

"Oh yeah, since when?" he had asked with an impish grin and raised eyebrow.

"Since now" she had answered and hurriedly kissed him on the lips.

From the corner of his eye he saw the detective pass them with a disappointed look on his face and he finally understood her little game.

"Harm, are you alright?" Meg asked a little worried. He had a far away look on his face.

"Yes," he answered looking lovingly at her. "Just remembered the time we were officially "together" for about ten seconds" he finished playfully touching her nose with his finger.

"God, I was so embarrassed after that, I remember avoiding you for the rest of that weekend" she said laughing.

"Ha, I knew it!" he replied in mock victory. "You always were a terrible liar" he finished kissing her temple. Meg has always been one of the most sincere people he ever met.

"Only when I was around you" she answered smiling.

"Thank God" he smiled back giving her featherlike kisses all over her face.

Meg was feeling like she was on a cloud but was quickly brought to the ground when reality set in. "We have three days…" she said with a heavy sigh.

Harm felt his heart sink to his feet. He knew that after the case is solved she will have to go back to Pearl Harbor. Swallowing hard he asked "What happens after that?"

"I don't know Harm. I honestly don't know" she answered with sadness etched in her voice.

"I don't want to loose you again Meg. It took us so long to finally admit how we feel about each other… We will figure something out…" he finished sternly holding her even tighter to him.

"And if we don't?" she asked reluctantly not wanting to imagine the possibility but knowing that it existed.

"We will…" he answered knowing in his heart that whatever the obstacles that will come their way, they will overcome them.

For now they will enjoy every moment they will spend together over the weekend, and he intended to make that weekend one she will never forget…

* This chapter is a little short but I promise I will make it up to you in future chapters. Hope you like it.