Lavi dreamed of sweet and tender kisses on Kanda's couch.
It would be his first kiss with a boy, he imagined it would be harder than with a girl. The soft curves gone and the muscle and bone much more rigid than the flexibility of a woman. He figured that they would slowly inch closer without a word spoken between them and that the kiss would slowly escalate into some kind of…heated passion?
That day when he went to Kanda's house to tutor him his dream couldn't have been more wrong. The couch was the wrong color, first of all, and the coffee table was made of glass. Also Kanda's quiet and uptight parents didn't bustle in and out of the room in his dream as they did in real life.
"So um," Lavi started as he set the textbooks on the coffee table, "let's start by looking at mistakes on your last test." His eye wandered around the living room curiously, it was quite bland and boring. Not at all fitting Kanda's personality. The walls were just beige and the floor wasn't hardwood or tile it was just shitty carpet. It wasn't elegant, it wasn't angry or messy. It was just boring. There weren't even any family photos or pictures. A rock on the side of the road had more taste than the entirety of the room. Lavi bit the inside of his lip and sat on the couch next to Kanda, who looked apprehensive and reluctant.
Kanda glanced at his parents, who were watching from the kitchen door way and sighed, taking the test out of his backpack. He handed it to Lavi and mourned for what would be his lost sanity over this 'study session'.
It started off rather well actually. The redhead was smarter than Kanda gave him credit for. But every time that Lavi had to stop and explain something he could hear his parents in the kitchen whisper and sigh. They thought of him as a failure and he knew it. He felt like he was in court, accused for a crime he didn't commit.
"Yuu?" Lavi asked quietly, "why don't we go up to your room to finish this?"
Kanda nodded silently and led the way, glad for the retreat. Although this scenario was familiar in Lavi's dreams there was just something wrong with this house. Everything seemed too serious, too heartless.
"Next time we go to your house."
Lavi's house was very… lived in. Kanda dropped his backpack off on a wooden dining table that wobbled, despite the small piece of cardboard under the short leg. As he looked around he saw cracks in the kitchen tile, cupboard doors that were slightly ajar. On the table was a sloppy but plentiful plate of crackers and cheese. The sunlight seeped in through a window with splits in the paint around the frame, illuminating the smile Lavi had on his face and lighting up his one eye like a gem.
Kanda watched him, could not look away from someone who looked so happy and energized. His gaze scanned the red hair, the highlights of which were orange from the pure light of the sun. When Lavi took off his elastic bandana and scruffled his own hair Kanda's eyes instead went to the others nose. There were very pale freckles there, some dotting his cheeks.
"Hope you like flashcards Yuu! I made a bunch for you to take home but we can start with them today," Lavi announced, breaking Kanda's long stare.
"Whatever rabbit, it won't help," he replied as he sat in an uncomfortable and too short chair.
"Don't say that, I promise you'll pass with my help."
Kanda grumbled and took some of the crackers, to keep from looking around. As they started he realized how hard he would have to work to pass and how much effort Lavi was putting into the whole ordeal.
"Why do you care so much? Why go through all this trouble for me?" Kanda questioned the other as he pulled out the flash card Lavi made him do. Lavi rolled his eye and put his chin in his hand.
"Cuz' I like you?"
"Che, that's a stupid reason," Kanda replied with a small curl to his lips.
Lavi was not a merciful tutor. He was relentless, ruthless, and irritatingly cunning. As the weeks went on Kanda actually found it comfortable to be around the other, learning and understanding things. His grades slowly clawed their way back up to passing. It kind of wore him out though, and the only social contact he had was limited to the redhead.
Still Kanda found he didn't really mind so much. He almost felt like the other boy knew what he wanted, and didn't care. It wasn't like Kanda dropped hints or was blunt, he just. Felt close.
The trust was broken on a Thursday. Kanda had shown Lavi a test he made a ninety-eight on. Nighty-eight, and Lavi just out of the blue hugged him and kissed him right on the lips. For a moment Kanda was shocked, then he felt anger. He saw his classmates staring at them in horror and surprise. He saw Lavi's stupid grin and how stupidly proud he was, so Kanda just stupidly pushed the other down. He had wanted to kiss Lavi, more than that actually, but no he just had to ruin it. With the other kids watching him he had a reputation to maintain, a certain image he represented.
"Don't ever do that again, Bookman."
He turned away from his friend, his crush, and silently apologized for once again ruining a good thing.