A/N: I had necrotizing fasciitis in 2010 so most of my knowledge is coming from my own experience, including the treatment and diagnosis (although mine was in my arm, not my leg. And I wasn't blown up by a grenade ;) ).
Chapter Ten: I Know Places
'Lights flash on the run for the fences
let them say what they want, we won't hear it
Loose sleep, swing ship, all the damn time
Not this time
Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it
My love, they are the hunters, we are the foxes
And we run.'
'I Know Places' by Taylor Swift, 1989.
Jensen
Jensen groaned, the steady beeping and hushed voices flooding his senses. He blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings, to focus. A gasp came from his side and he struggled to turn his head.
"Mom?" He tried to ask, worried when it came out as a grunt. He could feel his eyes widen and he opened his mouth again.
"Jensen, baby you're awake." His mom was suddenly at his side, wrapping her arms around his head and pulling him against her chest. She was already shaking with silent sobs as she ran her hand through his hair and kissed the top of his head.
"Mom?" He tried again, pulling back gently. She released him and pulled the chair closer to the bed, gripping his hand in hers. "What?" He looked around past her shoulder. There were monitors, beeping steadily, everything was either blue or white, and there was a large white board on one wall displaying his name and numbers and… "Oh god." He was in the hospital.
"You're okay." His mom caught the look on his face and squeezed his hand gently. "You're okay, Jensen." He swallowed hard, searching her eyes. If he was okay, why was she crying? "I'm going to get the nurse, okay?" She patted his hand before slipping out of the room, wiping at her eyes before she fully rounded the corner.
"Fuck." He whispered, letting himself sink back into the pillows. He pulled back the covers, cursing again, his arm felt heavy. He was wearing a hospital gown, wires slipping into the front to stick onto his chest, and a tube coming from between his legs. He reached down for it, then paled when he realized what it was. Another tube seemed to be coming from the side of his left leg, but before he could investigate, he heard someone coming in.
He dropped the covers quickly when his mother came back into the room, suddenly embarrassed that she was sitting beside him in the hospital while his pee was collected in a bag. He probably had much greater things to worry about than that… but he felt himself flush all the same.
"Jensen?" His mother raised a hand to his forehead. "Are you okay? You're burning."
"No… I'm fine. I… just… what happened?" He tried to push her away. She seemed to realize he was embarrassed about something and smiled softly at him, leaning forward to kiss the top of his head.
"The nurse is getting the Doctor and then we will talk, okay?" She smiled at him, settling herself back into the chair. "Your sister should be here sometime today, as well."
"You guys didn't have to come." He trailed off when he met her eyes, anger flashing over them before she shook her head sadly.
"Mr. Ackles?" A young woman in pink scrubs smiled as she walked into the room. "I'm your nurse Sarah. I'm just here to check on your vitals and then Dr. Catania will be in to speak with you. Are you in any pain right now?" She asked, pushing a tower towards the side of the bed and carefully slipping a cuff around his arm to take his blood pressure.
"I… I don't think so?" He didn't know who he was asking. He swallowed hard and tried to move his legs in the bed, finding them just as stiff as his arms. "Not too much."
"Well, we are going to want to keep up with your pain medication for now. I have your antibiotic getting to room temperature right now and I'll bring that in, in half an hour. You can let me know if you want something then, okay?" She smiled at him and then nodded to his mother before pushing the cart back out of the room.
Jensen opened his mouth to ask his mother about the antibiotics when an older gentleman walked into the room, carrying a clipboard.
"Jensen Ackles?" he said, flipping a paper back before coming to stand beside the bed. "I'm Dr. Catania. I have been in charge of your care for the past two weeks you've been here."
"Two weeks?" Jensen heard his voice crack and he whipped his head around to his mother. "Two weeks?!"
"Yes, two weeks." The Doctor repeated, trying to gain his attention back. "You were hurt on the field, due to a grenade detonation. You were stabilized in the field and med-evaced here. You're in Germany at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. We removed multiple pieces of shrapnel from your left leg, as well as your right and your abdomen. Unfortunately, three days after your first surgery, you began showing signs of infection in your left leg. A culture showed us that it was caused by Group A Streptococcus, or Strep A.
"Necrotizing Fasciitis moves very quickly, but we were able to get you back into surgery to remove the infected tissue from your leg. We started you on Penicillin while you were still in the operating room. Although your white blood cell count is still too high for us to be happy, the culture we took yesterday when we did your dressing change was good. It seems that we caught it just in time and we are expecting you to make a full recovery. There was minimal muscle damage, so after you are back home in the States you will have to start physical therapy to work on getting that leg stronger."
"I…" Jensen shook his head, trying to wrap his head around all of the information he just received. "Can I walk? When can I get back to my men?"
Beside him his mother gasped.
"Sergeant…" The Doctor said slowly, reaching out to pat his arm gently. "I don't think you will be returning to the field any time soon. Let's focus on your recovery, getting you home and stronger, and then we will look at the rest."
"Fuck." Jensen whispered, sinking his head back down and shutting his eyes. He hated that he was now aware of his leg, and the fact he couldn't move it. He hated that the pain was suddenly there, like a punch to the gut. He hated that he was in the hospital, taking it easy when he should have been back with his team. And he hated that he was going to cry.
"Just get some rest, okay?" He nodded slowly, and felt her pull the covers up to his chin, tucking them in around him. He wasn't tired, he thought, he didn't need sleep. And then sleep claimed him.
"How's he doing?" Jensen heard a hoarse whisper, pulling him out of sleep and back into the room. Oh yeah, hospital. He swallowed, trying to shift himself higher up in the bed.
"Yes." His mom said softly, before realizing he was awake now. "Jensen? Do you need help sweetie?"
"Water?" He asked, struggling to open his eyes. She moved away, returning seconds later and pressing a straw to his lips. He took it into his mouth, sucking the cool water down and feeling the chill flow all the way to his toes.
"Hey Jackles." He opened his eyes to see Tom staring at him, a worried expression on his face. Beside him was another soldier – Plante? – and they both looked as banged up as he felt.
"Tom." He smiled, reaching forward to grab his friends reaching arm and pulling him into a hug. "What the fuck happened?"
"Grenade. Screwed up my shoulder. Plante here saved us by calling it in, even though he was pretty banged up himself." Jensen nodded, taking in the crutches Plante was leaning on and the sling across Tom's chest. "We've been waiting for you to be awake enough to make sense."
"I was awake before?" He asked, picking at the blanket.
"Yeah, off and on… pretty out of it though. Did they… did they tell you about your leg?" Tom asked quietly and Jensen saw the expression on his friends face. Tom was probably the only person that would truly understand how he felt.
"Yeah, they did." He felt the burning returning, and clenched his fists.
"You'll be back." Tom said, nodding his head. "I know you, man. Don't even worry about it, okay?" Jensen smiled at him. He was about to ask about Tom's arm when he heard his name from across the room. He looked up slowly and froze.
Jared was standing in the doorway, his eyes wide with fear and maybe relief. God, Jared… Jared was here. Their last conversation flashed through his mind and he instantly felt guilty at how he treated Jared, how scared he must have been for the past two weeks of not hearing from him.
He met Jared's wide, hazel eyes, willing him to come closer. The rest of the room melted away and Jared seemed to understand the look and came striding forward, sinking beside him. Jared. He tried to say his name, but it was caught in his throat along with his tears. He settled for reaching and Jared found his hand instantly.
"Jensen." He whispered again and started crying, breaking Jensen's heart. He wanted to tell him he wasn't mad anymore, that he loved him and he'd missed him and that he was so glad he was here. He squeezed his hand and it was them, only them that mattered. He could have lost Jared, but he was here. Jared leaned forward, pressing his lips again Jensen's. His lips were soft and warm and perfect. Jensen kissed him back like his life depended on it, knew if Jared left he would truly die.
"What the fuck?" The hiss of surprise shocked him back into reality and Jared jumped back away from him, dropping his hand. "Sergeant? You're… You're gay?" He looked up to see Plante staring at him, he couldn't decipher the look… Disgust? Definitely shock. He swallowed hard, trying to come up with a response, fear churning in his gut.
"Do you have a problem with that, Specialist?" It was Jensen's turn to be shocked when Tom turned his body and sneered at the other soldier. "Does that bother you? Because it sure as hell doesn't affect you in any damn way."
"I… I just was… No, of course not." The Specialist looked like he was going to melt into the floor. Tom stared at him for another minute before telling him to get lost.
"It's nice to see you Jared." Tom said as the door to the room was shut, smiling and walking around the bed to give Jared a one-armed hug.
"I… Tom…" Jensen said, eyes wide as he watched his best friend hug his boyfriend. Jared looked quickly between the two of them, just as surprised, just as scared.
"Um, we're going to get some coffee." Mackenzie whispered and Jensen looked over, surprised to see her. He felt guilty he hadn't said hello, too wrapped up in seeing Jared to even know she had arrived as well. She smiled at him, understanding, and pulled her mom gently from the room.
"Dude." Tom sighed, kicking a second chair over to the bed for Jared and throwing himself into the one Jensen's mom had occupied. "If I knew you getting hurt would make Jared jump you like that? I would've slugged you back in New York. Could have saved us all a lot of stress and gotten us out of the lovely hospital background."
"What?" Jensen whispered, watching Jared slowly sink into the offered chair, eyes trained on the floor.
"Seriously." Tom gave him a hard look. "You think I didn't know? You're my best friend, Jensen. I'm not stupid. I've been trying for the past three years to throw some of the skankiest bitches your way so that maybe you would finally crack and tell me. I didn't want to push you, it's your life and your decision to let me know. But that doesn't mean I didn't figure it out."
"You… You knew?"
"Yes, I knew. I don't know why didn't think you could tell me." Tom tried to hide the hurt in his voice as he shrugged and looked away for a moment. "It doesn't matter to me, man. I didn't become friends with you because you liked boobs and I sure as hell am not going to stop being friends with you because you like dick. Got it?"
"I'm sorry." Jensen mumbled, watching Tom carefully. "I… I just…"
"Don't. It's okay." Tom smiled at him and nudged Jared to get his attention. "I'm going to go and get a coffee as well, snog your boyfriend and start making him feel better and so he can stop fucking scaring us all. I'll keep the Ackles Family Reunion out as long as I can." He smiled at them both before leaving and shutting the door behind them, leaving them in silence.
"Well." Jensen said after a moment, laughing nervously. "Hey baby." Jared met his eyes a moment before he burst into tears and launched himself straight into Jensen's arms.
Jared
"You're here." Jensen's voice was scratchy as he whispered into the crook of Jared's neck, his hands running over Jared's back.
"I was so afraid." Jared whispered back, squeezing him and moving to kiss him once more. "God, Jensen."
"I didn't mean to scare you." Jensen smiled sheepishly and Jared wanted to melt right into him. Jensen shifted on the bed, wincing as he did so.
"Are you okay? Should I get a nurse?" Jared moved back to give him space, alarmed. He looked Jensen up and down again, wondering if he should have held back attacking his boyfriend.
"No, I'm fine. Don't leave me, Jay." Jensen reached for his hand, pulling him gently.
"I'm not leaving you." Jared whispered back, allowing himself to be tugged over.
"I wanted you closer to me." Jensen motioned to the bed, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
"I don't want to hurt you." Jared shook his head, his heart breaking at the expression on Jensen's face.
"I don't care Jared. Please?"
"If I hurt you at all, you have to tell me." Jensen nodded quickly, pulling back the top cover on his right side. Jared let the side rail down and toed his shoes off, eyeing the bed carefully. He had no idea how this was going to work. Jensen seemed to sense his hesitation and ran a hand down his arm. "I want to lay on your chest." It took a lot of effort, but he refused Jared's help, to move onto his side, giving Jared the room to lay on the bed.
"I love you." Jared whispered as Jensen wrapped his arm around Jared's stomach, laying his head on his shoulder. Jensen inhaled deeply in response, pressing his lips against Jared's neck. "You know… they're not going to believe I'm Mackenzie's husband anymore."
"Right…" Jensen said, tensing in Jared's arms before shaking his head and relaxing. "I don't care right now. I'm too tired to care."
"Okay." Jared nodded, kissing Jensen's forehead. "So you gave Mackenzie my number?"
"I didn't think she would ever have to use it… I'm sorry I didn't ask you. It just didn't seem like a fun conversation to have, you know?"
"No, I'm glad you did. I'm glad I know." Jared said quickly. "We were all so scared. When I didn't hear from you… I thought that maybe… It didn't even cross my mind that you may be hurt. I thought that you didn't want, well I mean we had just fought and…"
"You thought I didn't want to be with you anymore?" Jensen whispered, lifting his head up slightly to meet Jared's eyes. "Babe… no. I was pissed, but that doesn't matter. I love you, Jared."
"I'm so sorry." Jared's voice sounded thick and heavy as he closed his eyes, fighting back the tears that were threatening him again.
"Jay, don't." Jensen's hand left Jared's stomach to cup his cheek. "I forgive you, and you have to forgive me because I'm in the hospital." He smirked as he kissed the corner of Jared's lips. "We can't keep things from each other, okay? Lesson learned. I want to know everything that's going on with you. And I shouldn't have been such a dick." Jared nodded, kissing Jensen softly as he took a shaky breath.
"Okay." He nodded, leaning back again as Jensen settled against his shoulder. "Okay. So… how's your leg doing?"
"I only talked to the doctor once about it… Did Mackenzie tell you anything?"
"Yeah, she told me about the grenade and that you had necrotizing fasciitis… and you hadn't fully come around yet, which you obviously have now."
"Yeah, this morning is the first day I can really remember. I get flashes of other things… but I don't know if it's real or not." Jensen paused and Jared could feel him shaking slightly. "They think I'll probably walk again." He whispered, his voice cracking at the end.
"Of course you will." Jared said immediately, squeezing Jensen's shoulders. "You're one of the strongest people I know. You're going to bounce back from this."
"And if I don't?" Jensen's voice was suddenly hard. "If I end up being a fucking cripple and not able to walk, or able to work? What then?"
"We will figure it out Jensen. Thinking like that isn't going to help." Jared said softly, his heart breaking at the pain in his boyfriend's voice.
"I wouldn't put you through that." Jensen muttered, his hand raising to wipe his eyes.
"Don't you dare say that." Jared whispered pulling back and grabbing Jensen's chin to tip his head up. "Fuck, Jensen. Don't say that again. No matter what happens? I'm here. I'm with you. And nothing, I mean nothing is going to change that. Do you understand me? I love you, and that's not going to go away if you can't walk or if you have to change careers or anything else your mind is coming up with right now. I'm not leaving you." He felt the speed of Jensen's chest rising and falling increase, pressed against his arm. Jensen's eyes searched his, burning into them.
"One day at a time." Jensen finally said, pulling his head out of Jared's grasp and letting it fall back against Jared's shoulder.
"One day at a time." Jared repeated, pulling Jensen closer, holding on like his life depended on it. A knock on the door had Jared tensing but Jensen's arm, heavy on his chest, held him in place.
"Hey." Mackenzie smiled, slipping into the room, Jensen's mother coming in behind her. "He's out?" Jared looked down and saw Jensen had already fallen asleep. He nodded, looking back up at Mackenzie before sliding his eyes over.
"One second." He said, trying to detangle himself from Jensen so he could greet Jensen's mother properly.
"Oh no, don't." She said, hurrying over and laying her hand on his arm to still him. "He hasn't looked that peaceful since I've been there." She whispered, touching Jensen's cheek softly before sitting in one of the chairs. "Mackenzie has told me a lot about you, I'm Donna."
"Jared." He smiled back, anxious about being wrapped around Jensen now that there were other people in the room. "He asked me to-"
"Jared, don't worry, okay?" Mackenzie cut him off, slipping beside her mother. She looked at Jensen's sleeping form with a sad smile on her face. "If he asked for it? He needed it."
"Okay. Where did Tom go?" He asked, looking towards the door, expecting it to open.
"He went back to his room. He thought that we could all use a little bit of time." Donna said, leaning back into her chair. She looked exhausted… Jared wondered when the last time she actually got a good night's sleep was.
"What's that?" Mackenzie asked, looking over to the other side of the bed where a white box was sitting. Jared lifted his head to get a better look at it, surprised he hadn't recognized the noise from or seen it.
"It's a VAC dressing…" He said slowly, resisting the urge to pull back the covers to check it out completely. "Is it on his leg?" He looked at Donna to see her nod.
"A vac? What does that mean?"
"It's kind of like a vacuum in a way… It helps the healing process by sucking out toxins and things but keeping enough moisture in the wound to help it heal properly. It should minimalize the scarring as well." Jared answered, grateful for his medical background. Mackenzie nodded, accepting the response and pulling her knees up with her into the chair.
A comfortable silence fell over the room, Jensen's soft snores comforting the three of them. Jared looked between the two women and his boyfriend's sleeping face and tried to relax. Jensen's family seemed completely at ease with the two of them tangled around each other. He brushed his hand across Jensen's cheek, smiling as Jensen seemed to lean into his touch.
He felt so small, pulled against his chest. His face was white, his eye lids fluttering back and forth. Jared swallowed hard, closing his eyes to try and relax into Jensen's embrace. He was here, and Jensen was going to be okay. He had to be okay.
He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until Donna was shaking him awake.
"Visiting hours are over." She said, pushing his hair back with a smile. Jared instantly ached for his own mother. "We will come back in the morning."
"Okay." Jared yawned, pressing his lips to Jensen's forehead. "Hey." He smiled as Jensen stirred, blinking a few times before focusing on Jared's face. "We have to go for the night… but I'll be back as soon as visiting hours start, okay?"
"Do you have to go?" Jensen whispered, reaching up to rub the sleep from his eyes.
"Yeah, I do. I love you." Jensen nodded, leaning forward to kiss Jared slowly. "Dream of me."
"Always." Jared smiled and slipped off the bed, snapping the side rail back into place. He followed Donna and Mackenzie out of the room, waving to Jensen before he shut the door behind them.
"I didn't even think of a hotel room." He said as they reached the front Lobby and Donna asked where he was staying.
"Don't worry, I'll stay with Mom and you can take my room." Mackenzie shrugged. Jared stopped at the front desk to pick up their bags and followed the women out into the parking lot. It was a short ride to the hotel and after a quick check in, Jared was standing in the middle of the room, alone.
Mackenzie had made plans with him to meet up in an hour to get something for them to eat for dinner while Donna was taking a nap. Jared sank slowly down to the end of the bed, letting his hands fall in his hands. He could feel his shoulders start to shake, helpless to stop them.
He let all of his emotions from the day wash over him. The joy of seeing Jensen, alive. The fear at outing their relationship to Tom. The agony of seeing Jensen in pain. He let himself go, sobs racking his shoulders until he couldn't cry anymore.
One day at a time. Tomorrow would be another, better day.
Jensen
Jensen tried to hold back the anxiety that flooded his system as soon as the door was shut behind him. He was sure he had been left alone in the hospital, but he hadn't been aware of it. He tried to relax back into the pillows and fall back asleep. But the pounding in his chest was drowning him, filling his ears, choking him.
What if this was what his life would be like from now on? Stuck in a bed while the people he loved moved around him and went about their everyday lives? What if he never would walk again, and would have to wait around for someone to bring him everything he needed, to care for him physically and support him financially? He would have to get rid of his apartment… and then where would he go?
He clenched his fists against his side and squeezed his eyes shut as he replayed Jared's words in his head. I'm with you. And nothing, I mean nothing is going to change that. But it would change… Jensen wasn't stupid… their relationship would be over if he needed a full time caretaker. The intimacy would be over before it ever really started.
Jared would look at him with pity and sadness until it morphed into disgust and resentment at the way his life turned out. He wouldn't, couldn't do that to Jared. Just imagining the expression on Jared's face turned his stomach. He would never let it get that far.
He hit the buzzer on his call bell and waited for the nurse to come into the room.
"Mr. Ackles? Are you doing okay?" A new nurse knocked on the door before she opened it and slipped inside.
"Yes… I was just wondering if I could visit Sergeant Welling?"
The nurse bit her lower lip in thought before she answered. "We haven't gotten you out of bed yet or had therapy evaluate you…" She said slowly, before meeting his eyes. "Would you like me to see if Mr. Welling would like to come and visit you?"
"Yeah, that would be okay." Jensen nodded, trying not to be frustrated. Not even the nurse believed he was capable of moving around. She nodded to him and slipped back out of the room, leaving him to his thoughts.
Another knock on the door made Jensen's attention snap back and he looked up to see Tom pushing the door open.
"Hey, Man." He said in greeting and pulled a chair over to the bedside to sit down. "I'm glad you got to see Jared and your sister."
"Yeah… I…" Jensen stopped and shook his head. "I still can't wrap my head around being open about it. You aren't… You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"
"Dude, that's your business. And I really don't think any of the guys care who you're dating or sleeping with or whatever, as long as you're happy." Jensen snorted and looked away.
"I probably won't have to worry about it anyways." He muttered, picking at a loose thread on his blanket.
"Okay, I'll bite. What's that supposed to mean?" Tom kicked his feet up to rest on the bed, a piece of fuzz sticking to his non-slip hospital socks.
"I'm not going back." Jensen sighed, feeling defeated. "They won't even let me get out of the bed. Sure, maybe I'll walk again, miracles can happen… but I'm never going to go back. They're never going to let me."
"Dude," Tom shook his head, moving to kick him before catching himself. "If you're going to have a pissy attitude like that? Then you're completely right."
"Thanks." Jensen glared at Tom, focusing on the anger instead of the shame that was threatening to overwhelm him.
"Well seriously, Jensen." Tom shot back at him. Jensen watched him carefully, knowing his friend was holding back on the amount of anger he was feeling. Tom sighed after a moment, running a hand through his hair.
"What are you thinking?" He asked after a minute of watching Tom open his mouth to begin speaking before changing his mind and shutting down again.
"I'm thinking that this sucks. I'm thinking that my arm hurts like a bitch and I've never been more afraid in my entire life when I saw you laying on the ground in a pool of your own blood. I'm thinking that you've already given up and you haven't even tried yet and that pisses me off." Tom looked at him then, his eyes swimming as he stared Jensen down. "You have a family and a man who flew across the world for you, who will support you and be there for you every goddamn step of this. Do you even know how lucky you are?" His last statement was a whisper and Jensen tore his eyes away, feeling guilty.
"Tom… I didn't say I was giving up…"
"No, but you don't have to say it. Best friend status, remember? You're all I have, Jensen. When I called my parents? My father said 'I told you so' and my mother told me to get well soon and had to leave for a meeting. I need you to get your ass into gear, and I'll be at your side to help you, as will Jared and your family."
"I'm sorry, Tom."
"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to be ready. For the bullshit and the pain and the process of healing and getting your ass back into the game. That's what I need from you, man. Not apologizes or resignations. I need my best friend who was never afraid to kick ass or take names." Tom dropped his legs and shifted forward in his chair. "Now hug me so we can have this bro moment over."
Jensen smiled, gripping the offered hand and pulled himself up to give Tom a hug. Tom nodded, shoving him away lightly with a smile on his face.
"Now, do you think I could convince Jared to pick me up some titty mags?"
"I'm scared." Jensen whispered, the moment the door shut and left Jared and him alone. Jared smiled softly at him, pulling their intertwined hands up to press a kiss to the back of Jensen's hands. It sent a shiver through him and he closed his eyes.
"I know, babe." He whispered back. Jensen raised their hands, pressing Jared's against his face and leaning into the touch. "There's no reason to be scared."
"Are you sure about this though?" He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the expression on Jared's face. "If you don't want to… I can ask my mom to stay…"
"Jensen. You know that I would pretty much be at your place anyways. No, I don't mind staying with you and helping you out. I would be pretty offended if you didn't ask me."
"Okay." Jensen whispered, focusing on the warmth radiating from Jared's fingers. He focused on his breathing, trying to calm his anxiety. It had been three weeks in the hospital since he had been fully aware of himself, and today they had told him he was being flown back to New York.
A knock on the door forced him to open his eyes and James, the therapist that had been working with him slipped in, a shiny pair of crutches under his arm. He leaned them against the wall and moved to the bedside to shake his hand.
"Well, Jensen, I wish you luck." He smiled and Jensen found himself smiling back. Although the work they had done was usually painful and had Jensen on the border of saying 'fuck it', James had always been conscious of his feelings and temperament and made a point of listening to his wishes. When Jensen adamantly refused to be sent home and using a walker for assistance, James hadn't even blinked before saying, "Well, we better work a little harder and get you up on crutches."
"Thank you, James." Jensen squeezed his hand before letting it go. "I really appreciate it. I hope the PT guy back home is half as good as you."
"Don't worry, you'll do fine." He said. "Plus, I gave your man here instructions on keeping you on your toes." He winked at Jared before waving to the crutches against the wall. "Brand new and all yours. Use them, Jensen. Until you're cleared to move without assistance. Okay?"
"Yes." Jensen muttered, knowing full well what his weight bearing status was. He had tried to push it a few time, the excruciating pain radiating from his knee and the still-healing wound on his leg were enough to back him off and listen to the status.
"Take care, Jensen. Jared." James nodded his head to them both before leaving the room.
"Did your mom pack up most of your things?" Jared broke the silence again, gaining Jensen's attention back.
"Yeah, and she's going over my medications and things with the nurse. I just told her to tell them I was discharging home and she was staying with me. I didn't really want to get into it with them and have it on my record that my boyfriend would be." Jensen shrugged, flicking his eyes up to meet Jared's. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine." Jared leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Babe, I told you before. I just want to be with you. I understand why you're hesitant to tell The Army. I hope that seeing Tom and the other few guys who you've talked to and know helps you feel more comfortable. But our relationship? Doesn't need to be a part of your job." Jensen nodded, grateful.
Maybe he was being selfish, refusing to admit fully what his relationship was with Jared. Obviously, Jared loved and cared an awful lot about him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have dropped everything and come to Germany for almost a month. He was patient, more patient than he probably should be. Jensen didn't deserve him.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too, Jen." Jared smiled standing up to kiss his forehead. "I have to meet Mackenzie back at the hotel to pack up our things. Our flight is going to leave a little earlier than yours. We will meet you at the airport, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." Jensen nodded, feeling the anxiety creeping back in. "I wish they would've just let me fly home with my family…"
"Yeah, well. You know the Army." Jared winked at him, picking up a bag that carried the last of the personal items Jensen had collected.
"You're getting too good at that." Jensen smirked, glad that even if he wasn't always comfortable mixing his career and his life, Jared was.
"See you soon." Jared smiled and left the room. Jensen sighed, sinking back into the pillows to wait.
He was going home. He felt nervous and happy about it. It would be good sleeping in his own bed, having Jared wrapped around him. But, he still couldn't bite back the fear that Jared taking care of him would change their relationship. Jared had shot down having visiting nurses coming in for the simple dressing changes he needed now that the VAC had been removed.
"You know that I went through nursing school, right?" He said, smirking at Jensen. "I can take care of all that. You don't have to worry." But Jensen did worry… He sighed, trying to push it back and focus on being happy, and excited he was going home.