A/N: Found this on my computer while cleaning out old files. Decided to add it to the story. Hope you guys like it!
It took some assuring from her the first time that she wanted to. That she knew what she was asking for. He pulled away like she figured he would, withdrawing into himself for a few days. She didn't push it, just acted the same way she always did around him, reassuring him with every kiss that he was all that she wanted. He came around eventually. She could tell she had made him see sense when the group had found a new house to stay in and after clearing the house, he threw his duffel bag of stuff onto a bed and turned to her. Asking her, "You want to stay in here tonight?"
Her eyes immediately found the brown wooden cross hanging next to the window in the bedroom. It was off-center, crooked, but she was impressed that it had made it this far into the apocalypse.
"So…um…we have our own room tonight." She was trying to hold her smile back, could feel the way her lips were pressing together hard, forcing the corners of her lips down.
"Mmhmm." He sounded causal. Like this was an everyday occurrence.
"I mean. I'm guessing you want me to stay in this room with you tonight. Alone." She teased him playfully. And she couldn't help it anymore, she was smiling.
And even though he wasn't looking at her, he was kneeling in front of the bed, rifling through his bag that he had thrown there, she could feel his lopsided smile on his face. "You know I do."
Biting her lip, trying to keep her excitement from showing too much, trying to keep the butterflies in her stomach from flying right out of her mouth, she moved farther into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. A little cloud of dust rose up around her, making her scrunch up her nose. Closing her eyes to protect from the dust and to help steel herself for what she needed to say next.
"I was hoping you did." She closed her eyes a little bit harder, hoping that he wasn't going to pull away from her again. "But Daryl, before we do anything, I'm gonna need to talk to you."
He didn't stop looking through his bag. "We are talkin', Beth."
She opened her eyes so she could roll them at him and playfully pushed at his shoulder. "You know what I mean."
He stopped rifling through his bag, showing her the result of his find. A blue box of condoms. Trojans.
And just like that, the butterflies in her stomach started to riot. "Ok. Holy shit. This is really happening."
He dropped the box back into his bag and looked at her with concern. "Whoa, Beth. We don't need to do anything."
"No. No. I want to. I really really want to, Daryl. It's just..." God, she felt young. She felt so stupid and innocent. And all her pretending to be this confident grown woman was starting to fade away. All she could feel was the short eighteen years and some odd months that she was.
It's like he could sense it. And he looked at her with his soft eyes he only gave her, putting his hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze. "Tell me."
"I'm just nervous. I mean I know you hate when I bring up our ages, but I'm not super experienced with this." She gestured between them. "You know."
"I thought you and Zach…"
"No. I mean, yeah. We did. A few times. That's not it."
He looked confused. "Ok," he said apprehensively.
"It's just, you're older than me." She looked down at her hands she had folded neatly in her lap. They looked small, innocent, inexperienced. "You've probably been with these amazing women and I feel like I'm not going to measure up."
"That's what's got you worrin'?"
"Yeah. That stupid?"
"Yeah." And he honest to God let out a little laugh.
"So I'm guessing I shouldn't worry about it?"
"Nah, Greene," he said confidently. Dropping his eyes to inspect the small blue flowers on the comforter he continued quietly, "If we're bein' honest. No one even comes close to measurin' up to you."
"Really?" She didn't bother hiding her smile anymore. Putting a hand underneath his chin, she angled his face back up to look at her. "Well, Daryl Dixon, if I didn't want to have sex with you before, I sure do now."
"Stop." He said it lightly. Answering her playful tone with his own. But she wasn't fooled. With that single word, she realized he was just as insecure about this as she was.
The past few weeks had made her pretty competent when it came to handling Daryl Dixon, so she did her best to diffuse any of the nervousness surrounding the situation. "Ok. How about this. How bout we just go about the rest of the day like normal. We go to bed later, like normal. And if things go there, then things go there. No pressure. If it happens, then it happens."
He looked back down at the blue flowers on the blanket, bringing his fingers up to trace one lightly. "You're the boss."
She covered his hand with hers, squeezing it to get his attention. And with a smile she teased, "Damn right." And then leaned down and gave him a quick kiss.
The rest of the day, all these random thoughts about what she wanted to happen that night kept popping into her head. Trivial things she hadn't thought of in a while. Like, when was the last time she shaved her legs? Maybe she could sneak that in beforehand. But Daryl had felt her legs before when they weren't shaved. Not like he cared. And, did she have any cute underwear in her bag? She did have those black lace boy shorts she had found shoved in the bottom of her bag. Maybe she could change those before too?
If she was being completely honest with herself, she hadn't really cared about any of those things while she had been with Zach. She hadn't been in love with Zach. He was a really great guy, and he was always good to her, but she hadn't had sex with him because she loved him, or even because she was incredibly attracted to him.
She knew she was supposed to wait until marriage, or until you found the person you wanted to be with forever, or at the very least, until you loved someone, but she had woken up one morning and realized she didn't want to die a virgin. And the walkers constantly clawing at their gates reminded her that it wasn't like she had all the time in the world. So she and Zach had sex that night. She figured if God wasn't going to let her into heaven just because she hadn't waited until marriage while the dead were walking the earth, then He had a sick sense of humor. And that if He was mad at her for it, then she had completely misunderstood God. The God she knew and loved couldn't be mad at her for it. He'd be proud of her for still wanting to live despite the threat of death always looming around her.
But with Daryl it was different. She was pretty sure she did love him. And she was incredibly attracted to him. She didn't want to have sex with him to get it over with, she just really wanted to have sex with him because she wanted to have sex with him. Bad.
So she wasn't surprised when she found herself in bed with Daryl that night making out with him. It was exhilarating to have a room completely to themselves. To be alone. And their kisses were sloppier than normal. Their hands were moving quicker than normal, itching to touch every part of each other's body. A light graze over the outside of her thigh. His fingers pressing hard into her hip bone. Their tongues sliding against each other without the normal rhythm or grace they had perfected over the past few weeks. Everything was messier. Deeper. And Beth thought it was hotter than all hell.
So she couldn't help letting out a whimper of disappointment when Daryl's hands stopped her after she had broken the kiss and sat up to take off her shirt.
He let out a strangled, "Beth."
Then looking at his hand on her shoulder rather than at her, he continued, "Are you sure?"
She watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard. "Are you sure you want to do this with me?"
"Never been surer of anything in my life."
"Beth…"
"Daryl, stop. I want this. You want this. Right?"
He furrowed his brow, she could see his jaw clench. So she reached over and put her hand on his cheek rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone. He nodded, the conviction in his eyes made her smile. She leaned down and kissed him quickly on his lips. Pulling back just enough so that she could look him in the eyes again.
"I want this."
He nodded again. Lifting his head to place a soft kiss on her lips. Laying his head back down on the pillow he let out a quiet, "K."
And she needed to keep him out of his head, so she did what she had learned through stories (and her very limited experience) shut all men up quickly and took off her shirt and then reached behind her and undid her bra.
He sat up quickly once he realized what she was doing. And as she let the straps fall down her arms and pulled her bra off, he lifted his hands up to touch her. And then he stopped. His hands suspended in midair and her chest bare.
What the hell?
She was starting to feel a little self-conscious, was starting to think about putting her arms around her to hide herself, but then his hands were cupping her breasts and his mouth was on hers. His tongue sliding into her mouth and his thumbs brushing over her nipples. Holy shit.
She let out a little moan into his mouth and he pulled back from her. As he started kissing down her neck, he murmured between wet kisses, "We gotta try and keep quiet." She nodded her head, not sure that he saw her. But then his mouth covered one of her nipples and she dropped her head back and grabbed onto his shoulders. Hard. She bit her lip, swallowing whatever noises wanted to make it out of her mouth.
It wasn't smooth like it was in the movies she had seen before the world turned bad. She wasn't as graceful as she wanted to be. Her hands jerkily found their way to the buttons on his shirt, trying not to distract him from the sinful things he was doing with his mouth. When had undoing buttons gotten this hard? He had to pull away from her, and he took over the unbuttoning with a gruff, "here." Finally, he just pulled the shirt over his head, still half-buttoned.
She let out a quiet, "Thanks." Feeling a little stupid that she seemed to lose her motor coordination in the worst possible moment.
And then he was kissing her messily again, pushing her back on the bed, his weight heavy and comforting above her. His bare chest felt like heaven up against her skin. Her breasts rubbing against his skin, him kissing her with abandon.
He made her forget that she was supposed to be timid and inexperienced. And as she ran her hands along his strong biceps, across his shoulders, she felt powerful.
She wanted more.
She couldn't think straight, her head felt hazy, and her heart was beating so hard that it felt like it was trying to escape her rib cage.
But she didn't care.
She just wanted more. Lacing her fingers into his hair, tugging his head roughly to the side, she deepened the kiss further. When that wasn't enough, she lifted her hips, grinding against his.
Her act of initiative seemed to snap whatever control Daryl had left. He ground his hips back into hers and then shifted his body so that all of his weight was resting on one arm. Taking advantage of having one of his hands free, he cupped Beth's cheek as they kissed, then trailed his hand down her neck and down her chest, palming her breast and brushing his thumb against her nipple. She arched her back up in response to his touch and wanted to protest when his hand left, but as she felt him brush along her stomach and then down over her jeans, pressing the palm of his hand against her clit, all complaints died in her throat.
She wanted him so badly she felt like she could climb out of her skin. Her hands were honestly tingly, her skin was on fire, she could feel the wetness pooling between her legs as he rubbed her clit through her jeans. The next thing she knew she was undoing his belt, making quick work of his button and zipper, trying to push his pants over his hips as she kissed his shoulder, running her tongue along his collarbone. Daryl helped her out, rolling off of her a bit in order to take them completely off. Not knowing what to do as he finished that task for her, she decided to return the favor, quickly taking off her pants and throwing them over the side of the bed, next to where Daryl had just thrown his.
She reached over and snapped the waistband of his boxers. "Those too, Mr. Dixon."
He let out a little snort and retaliated, snapping the elastic of her lace boyshorts. "Your fancy ones too, Greene."
She smiled and slid them down her hips. The moment they had joined her pants next to the bed, Daryl was over her again. Him resting between her legs and kissing her gently. She felt his hardness up against her thigh and she shifted her hips so that she could feel him up against her clit. God, she had never been so turned on in her life.
"Daryl… Can we…?" And there it was again. Her inexperience and insecurities trying to take over. How was she supposed to ask him to just get inside her already?
"What? You ok?" He looked down at her, concerned. She avoided his eyes.
"I'm good." She squirmed her hips a little, pushing her hips up so that the head of his dick was pushing into her. He let out a breath through gritted teeth.
Jesus, she thought, that felt good.
Beth didn't know how to make it clearer to him. And with another push of her hips and a breathy, "can we…" he seemed to understand what she was trying to say. Pulling back from her and looking around the room a bit, trying to remember where he put the box of condoms.
"Yeah," he grunted through his teeth. "Hold up."
She nodded her head over to the wooden nightstand where she had placed the blue box before they had gone to bed with a "Just in case", trying to help this along however she could.
He shifted himself off of her, grabbing towards the box. "Shit. Gotta grab one."
She heard him fumbling with the box and cardboard ripping. "Fuck. Should've opened this thing before."
As Daryl put the condom on, Beth leaned over and kissed his back. Running her hands along the muscles that had been hardened and toned by years of a life spent running, spent defending himself against enemies beyond his control. As Daryl rolled back towards her, she caught a glimpse of the cross hanging precariously on the wall before Daryl caught her eye. She couldn't help but smile. He gave her one of his lopsided smiles back, leaned down and softly kissed her. Pulling away he whispered a quiet, "You ready?"
She just nodded and pulled him so that he was resting between her legs again. She reached down and grabbed his cock, shifting her hips so that he was lined up with her entrance. And as he kissed her neck, he slid into her, the feeling making Beth curl her toes and let out a breathy moan.
And Lord in heaven, sex with Daryl was nothing like sex with Zach. With Zach, she had been in her head the whole time. Thinking everything through. Should I put my hand here? Am I supposed to be moaning? But with Daryl, it was like her brain just shut off and she let her body take over. She just placed all her trust in him and her instincts and just felt.
Who knew that the sound of skin slapping together could sound so fucking hot? And the way he nipped at her neck as he slid in and out of her had her wrapping her legs around his waist. The way he let his tongue trail along her collarbone had her grabbing at his ass, trying to get him to somehow be closer. And Jesus Christ above, when his hand reached down between them and found her clit. Circling it in time with his thrusts. She lost it. Arching her back off the bed, trying to get as close to him as possible. Grabbing at his back, his shoulders, digging her fingernails into his skin. The last thought she had in her head was, keep quiet Beth. And then she was coming and whispering his name like a prayer into his shoulder, the taste of his sweat salty on her tongue .
He thrusted hard into her two, three, four more times and then stilled above her, burying his face in her neck and breathing heavily. They stayed like that for a little bit. Him trying to keep all his weight from resting on her, her keeping her eyes closed, both of them breathing hard and heavy.
She let out a tired laugh. And he lifted his head off her shoulder to look at her, raising his eyebrows. She realized she probably shouldn't be laughing without an explanation while he was still inside her. But she didn't know how to put how she was feeling into words. He had made her orgasm? Her few times with Zach and talking with her friends and Maggie had not left her expecting that.
So she just smiled at him and shrugged her shoulders. Letting out another small laugh and then quietly trying to explain. "That was…" She bit her lip, trying to think of the right way to say it. But she could only think of, "good."
He just shook his head at her and burying his head back into her neck. She could feel rather than hear him, his warm breath tickling her neck as he responded with a simple, "yeah."
He eased out of her and then rolled off of her. She sat up to grab the blanket and cover herself while he fumbled around taking off the condom. She was spacing out, trying to sear what had just happened into her memory when he surprised her with a gruff, "You sound surprised about that, Greene."
She glanced over at him. He had slipped his underwear back on and was making his way back under the blanket. "I just didn't realize it was going to be that good. Our first time together. That's all."
"Hmm...C'mere." He was lying on his back with his arm out, giving her room to lay on his chest. So she rolled towards him and rested her head on him and he started running his fingers absentmindedly through her hair. She felt his chest rumble as he talked. "You either work or you don't"
Beth smiled against his chest. "Is that your experienced opinion?"
She could hear the smirk in his voice. "Could say that."
"I'm glad we work together then."
"Mmhmm."
"Do you think we could stay like this for a little while? I know we should be ready to leave just in case something happens, but can we just lie like this for a while?"
Daryl leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Beth felt her heart swell and when he muttered, "We can stay like this long as you want," into her hair she felt like she didn't care if God was pissed at her for having sex without being married. Heaven couldn't feel better than this moment.
A/N: So when Beth left the living on TWD, I lost all motivation to write fanfiction, but I figured I could still share my bethyl first time smuttiness with you guys! Hope you like it! I was trying to make sure it was totally perfect, but still very Beth and Daryl.