As For The Rest of Us

January 10, 1976

A 16 yr. old Eric Forman trampled down the basement stairs, yelling at the top of his lungs excitedly, "Guess who got Todd Rundgren tickets?!"

Kelso jumped in excitement from the dingy, orange couch, "Was it Jackie?! 'Cause she's loaded with cash!" Hyde and Fez looked up at him dully. Kelso sat back down, noticing the disapproving glances from his friends. He quietly murmured, "And I love her and she loves me back and whatever."

Leaning back and kicking his feet up on the table, Hyde yawned, "Kelso, did you forget that Jackie doesn't love you. She dictates you and as for the rest of us-" He glanced at a boney, uninterested Eric; a dopey, goofball womanizer known as Michael Kelso; and a weird foreign kid who was smiling at everything happily. Hyde finished his thought, "-and as for the rest of us… she could care less."

Kelso ignored Hyde and thought back to Eric's original statement about the tickets, "But if she didn't buy 'em, who did?"

Eric plopped down next to Kelso, motioning at himself as he waved the tickets.

Kelso thought really hard, "who….who…who…"

Eric continued waving at himself hysterically, trying desperately to get Kelso to realize he bought the tickets.

"WHO?!" Kelso bellowed in confusion.

"Kelso man, don't hurt yourself. It was Forman, alright." Hyde huffed.

Kelso jumped, "I got it! It was Eric!"

At that second, the girl next door waltzed in the basement using the side door.

Hyde, trying not to care that the most beautiful girl in Point Place just came in… and didn't even take one look in his general direction, shrugged, "So uh, how'd you pull it off, man?"

Eric gave an odd grin as he patted his own back; completely unaware Donna was standing right behind him, "The kids got connections!"

She carefully sneaked up behind him and playfully covered his eyes with her hands, laughing, "Guess who, dork?!"

Eric twitched a bit before stammering, "D-Donna can you-you quit it?! I've got precious cargo here!"

She removed her hands from his eyes and dropped herself down next to him, her green eyes quickly darting to his crotch area as she smiled, "So where's this precious cargo, Forman?"

Eric shoved the six tickets in her face, laughing happily, "Here, baby!"

Her eyes widened, "Holy crap! The Rundgren concert?! How did you get them, Eric?"

The skinny boy cocked his head back arrogantly, "I was caller number twenty-one on WFPP."

Hyde snickered, trying to impress Donna with his smugness, "A radio station, Forman? How goddamn original."

The foreign boy nodded excitedly.

Everyone blankly starred at the outsider of their group that Hyde had unintentionally befriended a couple months back. It's not that they didn't like him; it was just that they were a closely knit group, Eric, Donna, Hyde, and Kelso. And now with Jackie coming around all the time thanks to Kelso letting her, the dynamic was already changing. And now with this kid…Hyde didn't even invite him over to the basement, he just followed the older boy around and somehow snuck past the securities of the others and before anyone knew what was going on- the foreigner exchange student was a part of their team.

Kelso threw a basketball at Fez, just missing him, "You guys, we really need to teach this Captain Poo Face English."

Hyde threw one of Eric's comic books from the table at Kelso, snarling, "Shut up, man! His name aint 'Captain Poo Face!' "

Eric nonchalantly looked at Donna, "I personally thought we settled on 'the foreign kid.' Has a good ring to it."

Donna ignored everyone and focused all her attention on Eric, "I can't believe you called WFPP! They play the best rock, R&B, country and all! That's like, so awesome of you!"

Eric blushed fiercely, "Awe, well, it was nothin'. I remembered you wanted to go and I just thought I'd get them-"

Hyde's loud voice interrupted him, "Let's just call him F-E-S!"

Kelso waved his arms, "What does F-E-S stand for? Freakin' El Stupido?"

"No you idiot! For foreign exchange student!"

"Know what Hyde? Yer the idiot!"

Donna shouted, "Can both of you idiots just shut up?!"

All was silent.

She yelled, "Just call the foreign kid Fess, okay?"

The one known to all by 'the foreign kid' nodded, "Can it end with 'z'?"

Kelso awkwardly scratched his head, "Wha'd he say?"

Eric spoke slowly, a hard gaze on the foreigner, "I believe. He. Wants. His name. To be. Fez."

Hyde rubbed his chin, looking at Donna through his aviators, "That was so hot of you, Donna."

The redhead girl awkwardly averted her eyes away from him and back to Eric, "So, you were caller twenty-one?"

Eric gushed, "Yup. I did it!"

Just then, Laurie stomped down the stairs, groaning, "Little brother, daddy wants you upstairs."

Eric put the tickets in his back pocket, "Sorry guys, my dad's callin'. I'll see you all later."

He stood up and hopped off the couch. He raced to the stairs before pausing at the foot of the steps. He turned around suddenly to say "Bye, Donna."

She smiled warmly at him, "We both know I'll see you later on tonight."

Hyde, Kelso and Fez simultaneously chanted, "eeeEEEEWWWWWwwwww…"

Donna snapped at the boys, "Oh shut up! His parents invited me and my folks for dinner!"

Eric shook his head good naturedly as he left upstairs towards the kitchen.

While Fez immersed himself in the comic books on the spindle-top table, barely registering a clothed Laurie, the blond woman leaned against the washing machine, smiling wildly, "So Donna, you got a thing for thin, twitchy and momma's boy?" Donna shifted her weight uncomfortably in the couch as everyone starred only at her.

She cleared her throat, trying to get composure, "Um, Eric's nice and all, I mean he's very nice. He's like the nicest guy, you know what I'm saying?"

Hyde gave her a bored look, "You're saying he's nice."

Donna nodded stiffly, "Yeah. And he's great at being…" she couldn't think of another word to describe Eric so she kept right on rambling, "…nice. He's a good, nice guy. I'm gonna shut up now."

"Thank you." Laurie smirked, bored.

"So Donna, if Forman were to ask you out, would you go with him?" Hyde cautiously asked.

"Well, I wouldn't say 'no'." Donna shrugged.

Hyde coldly mumbled, "So you'd say 'Yes'?"

Donna stuck out her bottom lip, trying desperately to not look at Hyde who was basically broadcasting his heat for her.

And he wasn't the only one doing so. Kelso stood up and made his way to Laurie like a lion on the prowl. He backed her into the green washing machine, making strange faces all the while he was announcing, "Everyone, you are all missing what really matters!"

Laurie rolled her eyes, "And that is…?"

Kelso practically collapsed his body into hers, dropping his voice an octave, "Us, Laurie. Don't pretend you don't feel our sexual tension."

Laurie sneered, "Kelso, I wouldn't stick my tongue down your throat if you were the last man on Earth."

She pushed him away in disgust as she squeezed her tiny body out of his grasp to run up to the kitchen to join her family. Kelso called after her, "Just watch! We will be together!"

Donna threw a pen at him. She scoffed, "Hey kettlehead, aren't you dating that crazy Burkhart girl?"

Kelso snorted, "Oh…oh yeah! She's loaded with cash! Oh, and I love her, whatever."

Donna rolled her eyes, "Michael Kelso, you are a pig."

Kelso made his way over to the freezer, popping open the lid. He cocked his head back and laughed toward Donna, "Hey, a man has needs Donna! And besides, you don't even like Jackie!"

She acknowledged his statement, "True, but as a female it is my obligation to look out for my fellow women in arms…including your girlfriend of the week, Kelso."

Kelso ignored her, his attention focused on rummaging through the ice box for a Popsicle, "Damn! I can't find one!"

Finally he found a grape one and shut the lid, smiling triumphantly, "Found one."

Fez, sitting quietly by himself at the end of the couch finally looked up from the comics to again smile at everyone. He gave a short wave to Hyde. Hyde found himself waving back for some reason. He stopped himself before he stood up, telling the remaining three, "I'll see you kids later. Need some fresh air."

Kelso looked up at him, "What's wrong with the air down here?"

Hyde glared at him, "Someone's breathing it all up."

As Hyde walked up the stairs, Kelso turned to Donna, "Y'know, I get the feeling he doesn't approve of me chasing Laurie."

"Kelso," Donna reminded him, "No one approves of anyone chasing after Laurie."

Fez shrugged dully and Kelso only snorted a small laugh.

Kelso then sat between Fez and Donna, yanking the wrapper off the Popsicle and asking her, "Back to basics Big D, I like Laurie- even though I'm perfectly aware that it's wrong mainly because I'm with Jackie. But everyone's like that, so it justifies my like for Laurie."

Donna shook her head, not believing him at all as she laughed at him, "Bullshit. Not everyone is an adulterer."

Kelso began licking his Popsicle, waving a finger at her, "Hey, tiny adults have nothing to do with it."

Donna stopped, staring at him awkwardly. Kelso bit into his grape flavored Popsicle, explaining in his own way, "I just meant that people like people they're not supposed to. Tha's all!"

Donna shot him a doubtful smirk, not really buying what he was selling.

After he was done sucking his Popsicle, he licked his very purple lips and asked her plainly, "Well Donna, isn't there someone you like even though yer not supposed to?"

Her cheeks instantly began to flush as her eyes grew wide. Like a mad rush, images of Eric splashed into her mind like a tsunami. In a pathetic attempt to shake off her nervousness, she reached over to the pinwheel table and grabbed a random comic book that belonged to Eric. She twisted her lips, her voice so strained and false "Of course not. No."

Kelso laughed, seeing right through it, "YOU DO! Oh, man! Oh! Ah, this is great!"

She was starting to get angry with her dimwitted friend and she responded by hitting his shoulder with the Spiderman comic, angrily saying, "Kelso! Stop it! I'm being serious!"

Kelso, on the other hand, was in a fit of giggles. Donna stopped, giving him the evil eye. After a few seconds, Kelso's laughing died down and he wiped a tear away from his eye. Almost immediately he asked, "Who is 'e?"

"No one, so bug off." She hissed, throwing the comic back on the table in anger.

Kelso shook his head, pleading with her, "C'mon Big Red, you can trust me!"

She took an awkward glance at Fez who was preoccupied with The Fantastic Four, and then at the handsome moron in front of her. She needed to tell someone about her crush on the neighbor boy, but since her best friend was the neighbor boy…

She blurted, "I think Eric's cute."

Kelso's jaw dropped in complete and utter shock, "REALLY?! I thought you guys were just friends! I mean, I know you've flirted a bit, but hot chicks do that with anybody! I just figured yer definition of 'anybody' extended to Eric! I didn't realize you were aiming for 'im!" He then frogged her shoulder as he chuckled, "Good for you, man!"

She could feel herself blushing madly, "Yeah… thanks…"

Kelso licked his Popsicle stick, "No really dude, I think it's cool. I mean, it's not like you like him and he doesn't like you back! What am I saying? He's in love with you!"

Donna beamed, "I know." And then she processed what Kelso just revealed to her.

Eric loved her.

Donna shrieked in giddiness, "WHAT! Wait, WHAT?!"

Kelso stammered, dropping what remained of his Popsicle on the floor, "Uh oh, I shouldn't have-"

Donna slapped his forearm with a manly force, laughing, "Are you serious?! Yes!"

And then it occurred to her. Kelso told her Eric's feelings, what if he told Eric her feelings?

She lowered her voice, "Kelso, you better not say anything in front of Eric."

The goofy big kid chuckled.

She immediately grabbed his wrist with her free arm and twisted, "I mean it Kelso. Don't tell him anything!"

Kelso yelped, "Okay, okay!"

She then turned to Fez who was now browsing through Eric's comic collection on the table yet again. She watched Fez as he picked up a comic of Wonder Woman and stroked her breasts, trying to see if they were as 3-D as they were drawn. Seeing this had Kelso hooting more and Donna rolling her eyes at them both, telling Kelso as she gestured toward the newest member of their group, "You would like this guy."

The Forman Kitchen:

Eric came up the stairs from the basement and into the kitchen, panting, "Hey."

Red put down the bacon he was eating to yell at his son, "Did you clean out the gutters like I told you to?"

Eric turned to his mother who was busy making scrambled eggs on the island counter. She gave him an 'I told you so' look before humming Captain and Tennille's song, "Love will keep us together."

"Um…" Eric blundered, "I can't remember too good-"

Red said flatly, "Because you didn't. You were too busy trying to be caller number dumbass."

Eric's mouth lurched, as if he was seconds away from defending his actions when Red forcefully interrupted, "No! You will go to no concert until you clean them out!"

Eric nodded, trying to process the information, "Alright pop, but I gotta go. I got the tickets for Donna and-"

Kitty stopped humming to tease, "Oh, so you got the tickets for Don-na."

Red's expression changed from its original hardness. Eric then naively hoped his father would cut him some slack until Red started to laugh, "Yeah, good luck."

Kitty admitted, "Well, she is a bit more mature than you honey, but I think she likes you. She let you barrow her old night light last weekend. Remember, you thought your spooky lamp was trying to kill you."

Mature? What did that mean? Before Eric had the chance to question his mother, Red groaned, "I spent $24.99 on that damn lamp, only for it to be thrown away."

Eric looked down, ashamed, "I'm sorry sir. I'll go clean out the gutters now."

"Good. Go. Now." Red barked as Eric left through the sliding door.

Laurie came up the stairs from the basement, saying in disgust, "Gah! Kelso's acting like an idiot!"

Red returned to reading his newspaper, "When is he not?"

Kitty turned off the stove and turned toward her daughter suddenly, "Laurie, who was that strange boy in your room last night?"

Red put down the paper.

Laurie snickered defensively, lying, "What? I didn't… have a-um…"

At that moment Bob ran through the sliding door,panting, "Awe gee, Red- I'm so sorry!"

Red stood up, his blood starting to boil at the sight of his neighbor, "What did you do?"

Bob pleaded, "I was on my way to the hair salon to get a perm when I backed into your station wagon."

Kitty gasped, "The Vista Cruiser?!"

Bob shook his head, "Naw, the other one."

"Dammit Bob, the Buick Estate?!", Red yelled as the two men left to go check on their cars.

Hyde came up the stairs asking Kitty, "Hey, what's for the breakfast?"

Laurie took her father's seat, smiling wickedly at Hyde, "Oh look, it's the free loader."

Hyde motioned toward her, "Oh look, the local free tramp."

Kitty glared at both of them while she straightened Hyde's jacket, telling him in a motherly voice, "Oh Steven, this jacket has dirt all over it. Go put it in the laundry and I'll give it to you fresh tomorrow morning."

Hyde shook his head, feeling a bit like a child, "Naw, it's okay Mrs. Forman, really-"

Kitty folded her arms disapprovingly, "Honey, you hush your mouth this instant and go put it in right now."

Red busted through the sliding door, breathless "Kitty! Look at what Bob did to the Buick! Now we're probably going to have to buy a goddamn Toyota!"

Bob poked his head in, reassuring Red, "Red, c'mon… I'll give you some piece of mind…"

Red shouted at Bob in full fury, "You wrecked my car! I'll give you a piece of my foot- up yer ass!"

Bob squealed the moment Red chased him out. "Oh dear!" Kitty jumped, running outside to catch her husband.

With all three adults safely outside, Hyde felt safe enough to peer through the sliding door to see all the commotion. To his horror Donna was outside. She probably went out through the basement, and she was just standing there…as if she were waiting for someone. She was so tall, and so radiant, and so damn fine. Now if only he could get her to pay attention to him and not Forman…

"She's never going to go out with you." Laurie's voice flatly announced.

Crap.

He forgot she was there.

He zennly turned to face her, "Don't you have anywhere better to go, like a clinic? I'm sure you need some stuff checked out."

Laurie cruelly continued, "Contrary to what mom and dad think, I know she likes my twerp of a little brother." He contently listened to her. She continued, "And it's not 'cause she's desperate or has low self-esteem, which she does by the way. But it's because she trusts him. Eric's a good guy. He's a complete moron, but a genuine good guy. He's stable, predictable, and cares for her."

Hyde found himself blurting, "But I care for her."

Laurie leaned in, "But he's willing to show it."

When Hyde looked back up at the glass door, Forman was there. He was there with a couple of garbage bags, talking to Donna. She started laughing and motioned to her house. At first it was obvious that he was resisting, but she gave him a pout. Both Eric and Hyde melted. The only difference was she was doing it for Forman, not for him. Eric gave her a clumsy smile, dropping the bags and following her to her house like a zombie.

They left. She left- with him.

Sometimes he could just hate Forman.

Laurie evilly grinned, sensing his anger, "It must really suck to be you Steven Hyde. It seems as though everyone is abandoning you."

That made him lose his appetite. So much for getting something to eat.

Hyde ignored her as she got up and brushed past him to go into the living room. He sighed and stomped back down to the basement. As soon as he returned to his lair, he found Kelso and Fez playing pat- a-cake. Kelso laughed, "Man, this foreign guy is a riot! You shouldda seen 'im earlier with Donna!"

Hyde sat in his usual chair, snarling, "Kelso, next time you see Laurie, tell her to stick it up her ass!"

Kelso grinned mischievously, "Well, tell me where she's at and I'll go stick it."

"In the living room." Came his dry reply.

"Alone?"

"I guess… why?"

The ridiculous, good-looking male jumped up, racing up the stairs chanting, "Don't worry baby! Daddy's comin'!"

And then Fez's watch sounded off. He turned to Hyde, "I must go to church now. It was pleasure being in your home."

His lips twisted. He just shrugged off, "Yeah… whatever."

Fez rose and made his way next to Hyde, patting his friends back, "I shall pray for you."

"Yeah… sure… Whatever." Hyde mumbled. Fez nodded cheerfully as he left Hyde. With Fez's recent departure, he was alone. Laurie's words echoed in his head:

It must really suck to be you Steven Hyde. It seems as though everyone is abandoning you.

And then a tiny, annoying creature known to the world as Jackie Burkhart came in from the basement door, her voice so aggravating, it dragged Hyde out of his melancholy state, "Ugh! Where the hell is my knight in shining, white armor! I can't find him!"

"Who- who're you looking for?" Hyde's words stumbled; surprised to even see the cheerleader outside of school. Today was just full of dandy, little surprises...

She slammed the door behind her, screaming, "Where is my MICHAEL?!"

"Michael?"

"Where is he, Hyde?!" She demanded.

His mind drew a blank, he knew he saw Kelso not that long ago but…

"Where is he?!" Jackie screeched.

"Kelso?" Hyde murmured, his voice starting to function along with his brain.

Jackie marched right to him, "Of course! Who else would I be talking about?! I mean, GAAHHHH! This running off is so typical of Michael! First he hits on my mom, and then he Frenches the maid! God, he's such a pig!"

Hyde found himself asking, "Do you think Donna would like an unstable guy?"

Jackie put her hands on her hips, "No, oh god no. Never. I mean, doesn't she like, have a crush on that scrawny guy that lives here?"

"Yeah…" Hyde trailed off. Jackie sat on the couch, the closest end to Hyde. She quickly told him, "You know she's totally wrong for you. She is either desperate or has low self-esteem or something."

He looked up at the tiny brunette as she continued, "That giant goon must have problems to want that guy." She paused to gaze up at Hyde, "Yup. She's so wrong for you. You need a gal with some spunk in her. A girl with attitude and self-assurance."

Hyde starred at her for reasons completely unknown to him. Maybe it was because out of everyone in this house, actually anyone in the world, he was currently sitting and talking to the most annoying person on earth….and she was actually making him feel a tiny bit better.

It suddenly crossed his mind to where Kelso was at. "Yeah… I dunno where Kelso's went." He oddly found himself lying. He knew it would crush her if she found out that her white knight was putting the moves on some other girl. All because he couldn't have the girl of his dreams didn't mean that the whiny fifteen year old in front of him couldn't have the boy of hers.

"Hey," he remarked suddenly, "I think he said something about the HUB or maybe the park. He likes playing with the dogs so… go there."

Jackie happily smiled, "Okay, and thank you. See was that so hard?"

He was quiet.

She then got up and dusted off her pretty blue dress of the day. She then took the opportunity to look around the drab, little basement that her boyfriend and his stupid friends called home. She couldn't understand why. It was a stinky basement that had this odor of feet and smoke. Everything was brownish or greyish and the most widely picked on boy at school lived there. Definitely not a place she would be caught dead in. She turned to Hyde who was in his seat, staring at a television that was turned off. Definitely not a place anyone should be caught dead in.

Jackie uncomfortably asked the stoner, "Wanna come with?"

Hyde sniffed, trying to act like he didn't care, "To run around the streets and back alleys for Kelso? No thanks."

"Fine." Jackie shrugged indifferently, "I'll go check out the streets and back alleys on my own!"

Hyde jerked toward her, "You're going alone?! You don't know the first thing about travelling the streets of Point Place!"

"You do it all the time!" She countered, "And if you can do it, so can I!"

"Don't," Hyde blurted out before he could stop himself, "'Cause if somethin' happens to you…."

With her dark brown eyes she stared at him intensely. The hands on her hips, the way her lips were pursed, it all seemed to him like nothing more than a little girl trying to play grown up. Hyde groaned, "…I'm gonna have a midget on my conscious for the rest of my pathetic life."

He grumbled as he got to his feet, yanking on his shades, "I'll go with."

"What a gentleman!" Jackie gasped in sarcasm.

Hyde pointed at her warningly, "But just this once. Don't be getting any girly ideas in that upper-class, fairy-tale thick skull of yers, got it?"

She rolled her eyes then looped her arm around his while she pointed to the top of the stairs, "Let's go."

Hyde groaned, regretting talking to the little girl. He felt like a dog being walked by its owner. He was growing more and more uneasy about the fact that his friend's girlfriend had her arm draped around his. Like, what the hell was this anyway? They weren't going to the Academy Awards or-

"Jackie." He sighed, "I'd feel a whole lot better if you would please take your arm off of-"

Then she complained, "Oh Steven, we have to stop at my house first, you have dirt all over that jacket! I can't be seen with you like this! Here, when we go to my place, I'll get my maid Consuelo to wash it."

Hyde shook his head, a little embarrassed, "Look, no. I-I don't want to be a bother-"

"No bother. I owe that bitch since I caught her kissing my Michael."

Pay-back?

The cheerleader had a fighting spirit he just had to admire. He could only smile.

And she pulled him out of the dirty basement and into the real world. And together, they left the Forman property.