"What do you mean I have to take a mission?" said Yoru.
"While I know the hospital and the Academy appreciate you being around, the fact is you haven't left the village or do any real missions since the massacre."
"Uh huh. What's the real reason?" she asked.
The Hokage didn't lose his poker face.
"Kiri has been making a few waves about trying to 'reclaim' you, and this is a good opportunity to subtly steal a few bloodline users and support the pro-kekkei genkai side."
Yoru inwardly cursed. She should have know the back story she came up would come to bite her in the ass.
"There's also the fact that as a skilled medic, you can treat any injuries, the fact I've been meaning to promote you again anyway, and the council is suggesting that they pair you up with someone to 'repopulate' the Uchiha clan since you're almost of age. As a jounin you can cut them off, unless you want to take things further with Iruka...?"
Yoru calculated her odds.
"I won't have to rejoin the ANBU will I?"
"Technically you never left. I just had Katsu place the Weasel mask out of rotation until you either properly retired it or reclaimed it."
"I hate you sometimes," she said flatly. Then an idea occurred to her. "Katsu-sempai doesn't know...does he?"
ANBU were required to take their masks off in the presence of a supervisor when giving a report. All ANBU, including Katsu.
The Hokage smirked. That was a 'no' then.
"If I get pictures, I want a look at the Forbidden Scroll and an all-access pass to the deeper parts of the library."
"I'll let you look at the scroll and reactivate your clearance to the library, but you'll have to take ANBU missions for it," he countered.
"Only as long as you don't try to send Tsunade or Shizune-sempai away. I can trust them to keep the boys in line."
"I'm already sending one of my best Iryonin out of the village. I'm not about to lose the other two, not while Tsunade's still considered a flight risk," said the Hokage flatly.
"So when do I start?"
"Pictures first," grinned the Hokage.
Yoruichi couldn't help it, she damn near bust a gut laughing. The bad ass Katsu, leader of the ANBU and all around impossible to catch off guard bastard, had actually fainted!
She took so many pictures and sealed them all up in multiple scrolls...then summoned a raven for the first time in years. They, at least, had know of the prank beforehand because she had warned them. The only problem being that Itachi was known for having the Raven and Crow contract, but Yoruichi couldn't be because he had turned it in!
By the time Katsu had gotten over his fainting spell (he just knew his subordinate would spread this around) and the fact that Itachi, the cool-headed and emotionless Uchiha prodigy had actually pulled one over on him and his entire department...not to mention pranked his father until the day he died while at the same time filling his requirement for an alter ego for his mask... How in the hell did he miss the fact ITACHI was a closet prankster at heart?!
"Why?"
A simple inquiry that applied to multiple questions he didn't dare ask.
Yoruichi smirked.
"Every shinobi, from the lowest genin to the Hokage and the Sannin, has some quirk that makes our job bearable in the wee hours of the night. Just because I was subtle didn't mean I never had any of my own. It was originally a prank on my 'father' that took a life of it's own, and when I realized I preferred Yoruichi to Itachi, I decided to make it permanent."
Katsu looked decidedly uncomfortable.
"How..."
"Tsunade tested me, once she heard what jutsu I used. It's a complete and permanent transformation. The only way I could become Itachi again is through a henge. I'm good," she said proudly.
Katsu wouldn't deny that. How many shinobi could claim that a simple alter ego could take a life of it's own and manage to hide it so effectively from everyone? Even the Hokage hadn't known until she informed him of her true identity.
Once he was finally over most of his shock...though he would be hitting the sake hard tonight to be able to handle the ramifications of the fact one of his best shinobi had successfully pulled one over on him for once...he slid the familiar Weasel mask over.
"I take it you're coming back?"
"Consider me a sleeper agent only to be activated in emergencies. If you want, I could redirect Naruto's pranks to other departments for a bribe," offered Yoru.
Katsu's eyes sparked.
"How much?"
"Jutsu scrolls and the promise that a few off-duty ANBU will come by the Academy to insure they don't try to ruin his education any more than they already have. It's mostly stopped, but that's only because I put the fear of Amaterasu into them. Naruto has plenty of stamina and is one of the rare people who can use the shadow clone for training purposes. His mind is so fast that it's easier to have him summon a hundred clones to each work on one thing at a time than it is to have him sit down and doing something... I think the Fourth may have done a rush job on the seal and there's something wrong with the filter. He just can't sit still."
Katsu's eyes gleamed. A child who could use shadow clones, a hundred at a time?
"How fast is his learning rate?"
"He's an Uzumaki, and more importantly the son of Kushina. Get him and Sasuke hooked on Kenjutsu, and Naruto on seals. We both know who she married, so why not make sure our future Hokage is someone we can be proud to say we helped train while he was still an itty-bitty genin?" she said.
"Yes...his father got a good start in the ANBU, and there's no way I'm letting the civilians ruin our future Hokage...or weapon. Is he aware of the fox?"
Yoru schooled her face. Now the idea of her being Itachi was more solid than ever...her eyes were the exact same.
"He found out by accident while I was attempting to teach them meditation techniques to help with his control. The Fox said, and I quote 'I'm not handing any of my chakra to you unless you either make it worth my while or prove to be a better shinobi than your mother'. The only strange thing he also mentioned was that out of all the Uchiha, he liked me best for some weird reason."
Probably because she worked for her skills, rather than steal them from others, and didn't go around using her upgraded Sharingan willy-nilly. She had earned the fox's respect, odd as it was.
Once again, she rendered Katsu speechless.
"Does he know how to..."
"Again, the fox refuses to share his chakra with him at this point, so no. Besides, I would prefer it if Jiraiya could look at the seal and figure out why the Fox's chakra seemed to be constantly adding to his coils without stopping before he tries to use the fox's power. The Hokage, when I told him Naruto knew about his prisoner, agrees with me."
"Is he still going to keep quiet about the boy's heritage?"
Katsu didn't agree with that at all. The boy had clearly gotten the short end of the stick and it was only because of the girl before him that his life was even remotely better.
"We found a way around that decree. We tell him stories of the Fourth and his mother Kushina (the Hokage at least allowed us to tell him who his mother was) but we don't tell him specifically that the Fourth is...well... you know."
"I'm sure we can give the boys a few stories of Minato and his 'wife'. Now, do I need to remind you of the standard requirements for this kind of mission, or do you just need to shake the rust off?"
Yoru glared at him. Katsu chuckled.
"Just checking. It has been nearly four years since you were active duty after all."
"Bite me. Permission to leave, sir?"
"Granted."
Yoru put on her old Weasel mask, and enjoyed the looks of shock on her fellow ANBU upon seeing it reinstated. She did run into a familiar set of hair though, and grinned behind it.
Perhaps she could get double the blackmail pictures and subtly share some of her new ones?
The Hokage, when he saw the first pictures, laughed his ass off. It wasn't often someone pulled the wool over his ANBU commander's eyes. Then he saw the second set.
"How'd you get Anko and Kurenai?"
"Easy. Decided to go get a small drink at her place before the mission, then told her and Kurenai who I was before. I don't know who was more shocked...Anko, for not realizing it sooner, or Kurenai, when she realized that a former male had seen her nude in the secret kunoichi hot springs."
For some reason, the scant few shinobi men who opted to use the complete transformation jutsu to become kunoichi weren't allowed in the secret hot springs. Something about how they were uncomfortable with having them around. Kurenai had actually been the one to show her where the hot springs were, before the jutsu became well known.
She was also, unfortunately, one of the biggest advocates of keeping the former men out.
Maybe now she would get off that damn high horse of hers.
"Ha! Kurenai needs this sort of wake-up call. What of her former student?"
"If you're referring to Yakumo Kurama, I suggested she join the Academy. She's certainly better than most of the girls in there and she won't instantly become a fan girl of either of my brothers," she stated flatly.
"A genjutsu user, a Sharingan user and a possible fuinjutsu prodigy. Interesting combination, but who would be their sensei?"
"Absolutely not Kakashi, no matter how much you would like him to be," she said flatly.
"Oh?"
"Kakashi and children do not mix. Ever. I once left him alone in the Maternity ward and he couldn't even handle helping me feed the infants. He's more likely to read his precious porn than train them, and we both know he never fully recovered from his sensei's death. Being around Naruto, while helping him get used to the boy, has done nothing for his mental health. The idiot keeps superimposing Obito or Naruto's father where the boy is. And Sasuke...he's rather aloof and hard to get a read on unless you know what to look for. Having the civilians fawn over us hasn't helped, and he's rather self-conscious about the fact that I'm his sister. He keeps trying to measure up to me," said Yoruichi with an annoyed roll of the eyes.
The Hokage listened to her concerns. She spent most of her time with the boys, but she never coddled them. And she was already familiar with the Kurama clan, considering she used genjutsu frequently as well.
"I'll tell you what. Join the active duty ANBU again for a year and I'll remove Kakashi from the sensei rotation roster. But in exchange for that you have to take his place."
"And in return I get to train the three once they graduate?" she asked.
He nodded. It was a fair deal, and nothing she hadn't dealt with before. Maybe Kakashi would wake up and get over their deaths if he wasn't forced to try and train brats every year. If he could get away with taking a mission for that month, he would.
"Deal."
"See you in a few months," said the Hokage pleasantly.
Sasuke was nervous, eager and worried.
Nervous, because Yoruichi had left the village for the first time in years. Eager, because she had promised to share her stories of being on missions with him and Naruto, or at least the stuff she could share. And worried, because he still remembered the few times Itachi had come home with injuries.
Naruto just wanted to see his nee-chan again.
Suddenly both children saw a familiar head of hair. They bolted straight for her and nearly bowled Yoru over.
"OOMPH!"
The three children beside her tensed visibly.
"Good to see I was missed. Have you two been misbehaving while I was gone?" she asked them warmly.
"You bet! Hebi-san said that she's never seen so many inventive uses for old ninja traps!"
Hebi was Anko's ANBU mask. Shinobi were many things, but sadly subtlety was a lost art in most. Particularly the ANBU.
Probably why no one knew about Yoruichi until she told them. Itachi had been nothing if not subtle.
"And the Academy?"
"Yeah...about that...Iruka-sensei wants to have a word with you...or jump you. We haven't figured out which."
As if summoned by his name, Iruka started to cling to Yoruichi as well.
"THANK KAMI!"
Behind her, the lone red-head started snickering.
"You didn't tell us you have a boyfriend Yoruichi-san!"
"Oh be quiet Karin-chan. Iruka probably just wants me to restore order again," said Yoruichi.
"Him, the Hokage, Kakashi, most of the Hunter division, the Hyuuga..." listed Naruto snickering.
"What about Tsunade-sensei?"
"She was helping."
"Let me give my debriefing first and get these three settled in. And before I forget...Naruto, this is your cousin Karin. Karin, this is Naruto."
Karin Uzumaki was an unexpected bonus because of the fact they had to go through Kusagakure in order to get some antidotes. The Hokage said that since she needed a mission to explain why she was out of the village without telling the world she was ANBU, she opted to do a supply run to the Grass village.
Karin much in the manner of another spirited red head, had gotten Yoruichi's attention when she pounded another boy's face into the dirt for making fun of her red hair. It was so familiar that she had known the girl was an Uzumaki. She was like a bespectacled Kushina.
Further blood testing proved she was an Uzumaki, and Yoru had promptly asked if they could work out a deal so that Karin could join her little rag-tag group of kiddies from Kiri. Considering Konoha had a few of their own captured the week before, it was easy to arrange an exchange of prisoners for Karin.
Which meant that another Uzumaki was going to call Konoha home.
"Welcome back, Yoruichi," said the Hokage. He looked a little...frayed. She smirked.