I was going to torture you guys and make you wait another week before posting the new chapter, but I received so many reviews and kind words, I had to cave in. I understand a lot of the frustration with the lack of Jori, but it will come. I wanted to keep this story going, and didn't want to fall in that flux of the cliche where the story would be over before it really started. Bear with me, friends. Thanks so much for all the input you've given! It's more than appreciated.
"As much as I love this spontaneous side of you, is there a reason you came over for surprise sex?" Leila asked as we lay tangled in her bedsheets.
I let out a sigh as I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling, "I just wanted to see you."
Leila's weight shifted and I could feel her eyes on me, studying me in that way that only she could, the way that could unnerve me and cause me to spill out all of the things I had spent years hiding. Her hand ghosted across my arm until her fingers laced with mine and softly squeezed.
"Don't do that." She said in a soft voice.
"Don't do what?"
"Hide things from me."
I shrugged, "I'm not."
"Okay, and now you're lying to me." Leila said, frustration seeping through her words. I started to panic. My intention in coming here was not to upset her or make her feel anything but great, and now I had no doubts that I had succeeded in doing both of those things.
"It's...nothing. Really. If it were, I'd tell you." I said, praying that I sounded convincing. But at that point, I'm not sure who I was trying harder to convince.
Leila's eyes searched mine for any indication that I might have been being dishonest, though I'm assuming she found none when she smiled softly and leaned forward slightly, gently pressing her lips to mine in a kiss. She nuzzled her head in the space below my jaw and began lightly tracing her fingers across my arms, raising goosebumps in their wake.
"So... You and Beck, huh?" Leila commented casually.
I laughed loudly, smacking myself in the face with my hand, "I am so sorry about the way that came about."
Leila joined in on my laughter and kissed my collar bone, "It's fine. I just... I did not see that coming at all. You guys are like brother and sister."
"Yeah. I mean, it was all that made sense in high school." I said simply, not bothering to add the until Tori came along at the end. I felt Leila nodding her head against me, "Does it bother you?"
She shrugged, "I thought it would, but you both seem like you genuinely care about each other, and not in the way that would make me jealous, but in a way that makes me more comfortable around him. I don't know if that makes sense. Do you have any romantic history with any of your other friends that I should be aware of?" Leila asked playfully.
I laughed uncomfortably before shaking my head, not trusting any words at that point.
And that was the end of it. Days after that conversation, Leila and I continued to live in our peaceful honeymoon stage, hanging out with her friends when we could, and mine when everyone was available. Things were perfect, and I got the feeling that Leila never needed to know about what had happened between Tori and I back in high school, or the week before Leila and I met.
Until one night when our two groups decided to collaborate at a club. I had a nagging feeling that this wouldn't end well, but I ignored it because Leila was so excited that her friends were meeting mine. We walked into the club to find our two groups already congregated at a large table in the back. We approached with my hand on her lower back and our drinks in hand.
"The lovebirds arrive." Emma said drunkenly as she leaned against Andre. I gave him a wry look and winked filthily as he shrugged with a grin on his face.
We sat around and talked and drank, enjoying the new company while the music pumped around us. There was a small lull in conversation when Robbie decided to speak.
"This is really great." He said with a smile.
"What is, Rob?" Leila asked as she leaned into me and slid her hand down my thigh.
"That everyone's back together. God, I thought after Tori and Jade ended, that would be the end of everything. But it's so great that you guys can put that behind you and hang out like we used to."
I swear to God, the world stopped spinning at that moment. My heart was kicked into overdrive as Leila completely froze next to me. I felt her stiffly pull back from where her body was snug against mine and her eyes appraised me. Guilt consumed my entire being as I fought for the right words to say, but my alcohol consumption rendered me stupid as I sat gaping like a fish while Leila looked at me in disbelief.
"Tori and Jade...?" She trailed off, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Oh yeah, they were crazy about each other, in that totally dysfunctional kind of way. They always thought they were really subtle, but everyone knew even before they told us. And then they broke up when Tori went to New York." Robbie prattled off.
I saw out of the corner of my eye Beck lean over and smack Robbie upside the head while Cat kept her eyes trained on Tori, whose gaze hadn't left her lap since Robbie started speaking.
Leila's eyes were brimmed with tears and for a second, I thought I saw anger flicker in those mossy green eyes, "I'm gonna..." Leila trailed off as she drunkenly stood and made her way to the exit.
"Fuck." I hissed as I stood to follow. My eye caught Emma's glare as she shook her head.
"Real fucking smooth, West." She said bitterly. I rolled my eyes and ignored her as I followed after my girlfriend, practically close-lining anyone who got in my way. By the time I busted through the doors, Leila was halfway down the street.
"Fitz! Fitz, wait." I called out after her as I continued my pursuit.
"Leave me alone, Jade." She said.
"Leila, fucking stop, okay?" I said firmly.
She paused for a moment and I could feel her hesitation as she rocked on the balls of her feet before turning around, "What?"
"I'm sorry, okay? I wanted to tell you, I just... I didn't know how. She wasn't a part of our lives anymore, and when she came back she just left again and I didn't think it would be an issue. I wasn't anticipating her coming home for the summer. I didn't want to scare you. We've only been dating a couple of months and I didn't want to have that conversation about our past flings. It makes things seem..."
"Serious?" Leila asked with a raised brow.
My shoulders dropped in defeat as I realized there was no way for me to win this argument, "Yeah."
"I've been serious about you, Jade. Since the start. And you... You lied to me. Multiple times." Leila said sadly.
I shook my head, "I'm making myself sound like such an ass right now."
"Why didn't you just tell me? That night I found out about Beck. It was your perfect opening."
"There isn't anything worth telling about!" I shouted.
"Stop this, Jade. Just fucking stop this!" Leila yelled exasperatedly, "Stop hiding from me. Just fucking let me in, okay? You've been pushing me away, and I'm so sick of sitting on the sidelines of your life, knowing that there's these little parts of you that I'm not allowed to understand because you're too fucking scared."
"That isn't-"
"Isn't it?" Leila asked simply, cutting me off from speaking before walking away.
"Where are you going?" I called out after her.
"Home. I can't be around you right now." She called out over her shoulder.
"Leila, stop." I pleaded, hating how pathetic I sounded.
"I'll call you tomorrow, but right now I can't look at you." Leila said simply before getting into a taxi and driving off. I stood on the curb cursing myself for being such a coward, and lying to her yet again. I stood in the cold night air as I thought about how simple everything would have been if Tori would have just stayed gone. Or if I had been strong enough to be honest with Leila from the start.
The night's events turned my mood foul, so I shot Cat a text telling her I was leaving before hailing my own cab and going back to my apartment alone.
My bed never felt colder that night as I was forced to come to terms with everything I had been hiding and running from. What was I so afraid of?
Acknowledging the fact that I might still have feelings for Tori Vega.
My sleep was hardly restful as I tossed and turned for the remainder of the night. When the sun started to peek through my curtains, I decided it was as good a time as ever to rise from my faux slumber and begin my day. I slumped off to the shower and stood under the stream of steaming water for at least a half an hour before getting myself ready for the day. I moped incessantly until I knew Leila would have left for class before leaving my apartment and hailing a cab to her place.
Luckily for me, the kid I recognized as her neighbor was leaving just as I pulled up. I called out to him to hold the door for me and slipped by him, giving him a very faint thanks as I jogged up the stairs.
I knocked impatiently on her door and waited a moment before hearing a very distinctive voice yelling, "Don't you fucking dare."
"Open up." I begged.
"How do you even keep getting in here without buzzing?" Emma asked through the door.
"Emma, please." I tried again.
"Fuck off, Jade."
"I know that she isn't even home. I just wanna talk to you."
The door finally opened and I was met with Emma's icy stare, "You fucked up."
I sighed, "I know."
"Kay, bye." She said, trying to shut the door. I stuck my boot-clad foot out to stop her.
"Please. I know it never should have come out that way, and I wanted to tell her."
Emma stopped trying to break my foot off and leaned against the door, "Why should I believe you? Why should she believe you?"
"Because it's complicated, and what happened between Tori and I wasn't a big deal!"
"Seemed big enough to get you to lie about it." Emma said dismissively.
"I'm a shit person, I get that. Leila deserves someone way better than me."
"Something we both can agree on." Emma said tersely.
"I need your help." I pleaded.
Emma rolled her eyes, though finally allowed me entrance into their apartment. I paced in front of the couch as Emma flopped down and looked at me expectantly.
"You think you she'll actually forgive you?" Emma snapped.
I stopped my movement and looked at her, "You have been waiting since day one for this to blow up in my face."
She shrugged as she kept her mouth shut.
"Why?"
Emma continued her vow of silence as she shook her head and scoffed. The way she responded caused something to click in my mind.
"Oh my God." I said quietly.
"What?" Emma asked, almost nervously.
I looked at her incredulously, "Were you guys..."
"God, no!" Emma shouted, sitting up straight and looking at me as if I'd grown a second head.
My rigid posture didn't falter for a second, "But you love her."
She scoffed, "Of course I do, she's my best fucking friend."
"Not what I mean." I commented plainly.
Emma blushed slightly before shaking her head, "No, Jade. I don't feel like that for her, but I know how she feels about you. Leila falls hard and fast. It's safe to say she's had these feelings for you for a fucking long time, long before either of you said it to each other. So excuse me for being a bit protective when my best friend gets her heart shattered."
I let out a sigh, wondering how everything got so fucked up so quickly. Leila and I were blissfully happy, and I'm aware that things couldn't stay that way forever, but it was my fault that it fell apart. Because I was scared. Because I didn't want Leila to know that Tori ever had that kind of hold over me.
"What are you doing here?" I heard a voice say, coming from the door. I turned slowly to see Leila standing there, fuming as she gripped her backpack.
"Leila," I began.
"Why. Are you. Here?" She spoke slowly and with purpose as I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
"I needed to talk to you." I tried to sound strong and certain, but I was definitely failing.
"Too bad." Leila said as she walked into her room. I followed behind her.
"Fitz, please." I said, my voice small.
"Jade, honestly, I have no idea what I want to say to you right now." Leila said once she stopped abruptly and turned to face me.
"Just let me explain."
She shook her head, "I don't really think I want to do that either."
"Is this a break up?" I asked incredulously.
Leila shifted her weight on her feet, "I don't know, Jade. Give me some fucking time, all right? You lied to me. You looked at me and lied right to my fucking face. Right now I'm so angry with you, nothing you say is even going to make a difference." She turned and closed her bedroom door behind her.
I stood in the hallway staring at the dark wood for quite some time before finally tearing myself away from my place and walking out of the apartment, not even saying goodbye to Emma.
A week went by and I had yet to hear anything from Leila. My calls went to voicemail, my messages went unanswered. Clint had me take a few days off because of the foul mood I had been permanently placed in, so I had nothing to distract me. My apartment was daunting as I flopped around from couch to bed and back, trying to find something to occupy my time and attention.
I awoke one evening with a start, my phone beeping obnoxiously next to me. I checked the screen and saw a message telling me to go to this club all of us use to go to before Vega left for New York because they never carded and had cheap drinks. I grimaced at the thought of visiting an old haunt, but craved a night of getting fucked up and not caring. I checked the clock. It was nearing on ten o'clock. Christ, I had slept away almost the entire day.
I punched a quick agreement and hit send before peeling myself off of the sofa and making myself as presentable as possible in my time limit and left my apartment. Once outside, I hailed a cab and gave the address of the club to the driver. The journey left me wondering what I was doing, but knowing that very little else made sense to me anymore.
Walking into the dimly lit building, I was flooded with a slew of memories. I walked by a table that had previously been broken when Trina decided she wanted to be like Coyote Ugly and jumped up on the table with a bit too much force. I passed the hall where Vega and I had snuck many times to steal sloppy, drunken kisses with her hands up the front of my shirt. I smirked when I remembered how filthy drunk Vega was, and how little she cared about being caught. It was too bad I couldn't have kept drunk Vega around at all times.
I stood at the bar and ordered my drink as I remembered a night where Tori and I had gotten into a pretty horrible fight at the club. I had seen Vega dancing with some Northridge guy and got way too upset, considering the fact that we never officially dated. I wound up storming out of the building, only to be followed by Vega where we had a very public argument. That was the night she told me she got into NYU. And that she was going.
Soon I was holding my drink and making my way through the crowd until I saw a familiar face.
"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" I asked as I slid into a booth across from Vega.
Even in the low lights, I could see the blush spreading on her cheeks, "Yeah."
"So. What are we doing here, of all places?" I asked as I gestured to the people around us. It was obviously still a hang out for underagers with bogus IDs.
Vega shrugged, "I didn't really want to run into anyone."
I nodded, "Sounds very you." I said, managing to keep any malicious intent out of my tone.
"How's Leila?" Vega asked, and I could see the distress in her eyes.
"She won't speak to me. I don't even know if we're together right now." I said simply as I sipped on my drink.
"You never told her about us." Tori stated.
I shook my head, "Nope."
"Why not?"
Shrugging, I took a deeper drink as I realized Tori wanted to have a serious conversation, and that this meeting was about more than just getting fucked up, "I didn't want her to know."
Tori rose a brow and looked at me pointedly, "That your real reason?"
I bit my lip, knowing she was right, "I don't know anymore."
"She'll come around. I mean, you should have told her, but it isn't like you know everything about all of her past relationships." Tori reasoned maturely.
I nodded as I began drumming my fingers on the countertop. Quickly, Tori's hand covered my own and I remembered how badly it use to irritate her when I'd do that. My lips quirked in a smirk as I looked up at her flirtatiously. She matched my grin and squeezed my hand gently. Realizing what was happening, I pulled my hand back and shook my head.
"Right." I said, nodding my head once, "Shots, then?"
Vega gave me a large, genuine grin before jumping up and making her way to the bar. She returned shortly with a tray of eight shots and I groaned as I realized what she wanted to do.
"I thought we were over the four shots in a row." I said dramatically.
That famous summer before Vega left for school, the two of us developed this little game. Well, it was hardly a game. It was more of just a thing that we did together. We'd each get four shots; two of them would be my favorite and two would be Tori's. We'd line them up alternate between the two types and slam them back as quickly as possible. It seems so stupid now, but I remember getting so ridiculously happy when she would approach me with our tray of eight. It was something we only did with each other. It's also quite disgusting alternating between whiskey and Jaeger.
"Just like old times." She said hopefully as she placed the tray down in between us.
I let out a sigh and shook my head, "Fuck it. Just like old times."
Once the eight glasses were face-down on the tray and we were grimacing with disgust, Vega laughed, "I forgot how much I hate Chivas."
"That's because you have no taste." I said playfully as I sipped my drink.
Vega looked at me pointedly, "I don't recall you ever complaining about my taste." She said suggestively.
I narrowed my eyes and smirked as I leaned forward, "Bitter." I said simply.
Vega looked confused, "What?"
My tongue darted out and moistened my lips as I deliberately teased her, "That's how you taste."
I anticipated seeing Vega flinch with discomfort. She had always hated talking about dirty things, especially in public. Instead, she matched my devious look and bit her lip, "Well, you are what you eat, aren't you?"
I had been completely caught off guard by her comments. I reeled back and stared at her with wide eyes before shaking my head and laughing, "You're filthy."
Vega joined in my raucous laughter, and for a moment I forgot about my angry girlfriend, and that the girl sitting across from me was why Leila was so upset with me. I offered to buy the next round, and returned shortly with eight more shots, set up just the same as before.
I took my seat shook my head, "If we're going to be friends, then we're going to be friends. Got it?" I asked sharply.
Vega looked taken aback by my sudden change in demeanor, and managed a nod.
I took a long drink from my glass, only grimacing slightly on the burn of the alcohol, "No more jabs about who we used to be together. None of these cryptic conversations about feelings neither of us had the balls to rightfully acknowledge before. Okay?"
"Okay." Vega agreed with a nod before silently nodding to the line of shots. We finished them quickly, and suddenly Vega was standing up. I panicked for a moment that I had really offended her and that she was leaving. Instead, she stuck her hand out and looked at me with as smile, "Come on, then."
"What?" I asked as I stared at her outstretched hand.
"Dance." She stated.
I shook my head, "What did I just get through saying?"
Vega rolled her eyes, "Friends dance all the time. Stop being a pussy."
I growled at her insult as I stood and allowed her to drag me to the dance floor. She was right. Friends danced together without it being weird or making one party feel guilty. So I allowed it as I watched her body move to the music and I did my best to let myself go. A song or two later, my eyes were closed as I allowed myself to give over to the beat. The alcohol had my head swimming as sweat beaded on my skin. I felt a pair of cold hands on my waist and my eyes snapped open to see Vega smiling at me innocently.
"It's okay." I watched her lips form the words but couldn't quite hear her voice. I allowed her to pull me closer to her as my hands slid over her shoulders, never missing a beat as our bodies moved in sync. I dropped my head back as I continued to sway and didn't flinch when I felt warm lips dancing on the skin of my neck. I allowed them to trail up the column of my throat and slowly claim my lips. This kiss was much different than the last one we shared. It wasn't sloppily pressed up against the bathroom door. Well, the location wasn't much different, but the feeling of her softly caressing my bottom lip as she gently traced circles on my lower back gave me the kinda chills I remember her eliciting from me all those years ago.
I allowed her to deepen the kiss as we continued to dance, though when I felt her teeth nip at my lip, I pulled back and stared at her lust-filled eyes.
"We should leave." I said simply. Vega nodded furiously before allowing me to lead her out of the club and into a taxi. We stumbled up the stairs to my apartment and before I could put the key into the lock, Vega spun me around and pushed me against the wall before claiming my lips in a heated kiss.
"Keys." She ordered. I surrendered the keys over to her and listened as she unlocked the door and maneuvered me inside.
"Friends don't kiss like this." I admonished halfheartedly.
Vega shook her head as she threaded her fingers through my hair, "We don't know how to be friends."