I am really so awful. I know I promised you guys, but things got crazy and I ended up having to neglect this story. But I sat myself down last night and stayed up until it was finished. I hope it was worth the wait, and I hope you guys will bare with me throughout this story. Unfortunately, this might be the last Jori fanfiction I write, unless I miraculously come up with new ideas. If you guys have any ideas, feel free to send me a message here with a prompt. Or head over to my tumblr ( .com) and leave me a prompt. If it's something I think I can do justice, I'll gladly do it.
Again, to those of you who constantly leave reviews, you're what helped me through this funk, and this is dedicated to you guys.
The weeks following our little updated date were better than I had anticipated. I'm going to give most of that credit to Leila's open mind and forgiving attitude. Then again, apparently I had some forgiving to do as well. I tried to ignore the nagging inquisition my mind often wandered to when I was alone. After all, we were going for a clean slate, and I wasn't too interested in mucking that up already.
When I told Cat about mine and Leila's conversation at the coffee shop, Cat instantly jumped on whatever it could be that Leila had done on our little 'break.'
"It isn't worth it." I argued as we sat on my couch, drinking hard cider and watching a movie.
"Isn't worth it? Are you kidding me? You mean you honestly don't want to know what she did?"
"Of course I do!" I answered quickly, "But I just don't think it's necessary anymore. We've forgiven each other. We're moving on."
"That makes absolutely no sense, Jade."
"Well, it's a little late for that now. What am I supposed to do? Go up to her and say, hey, I know what I said, but I take it back. What exactly did you do that I should be forgiving you for? No way. Now that's not fair."
Cat huffed a bit, and I thought for a moment that she might drop the subject and return her attention to the movie playing. I soon realized I was wrong when she smirked and gave me a look with a raised brow, "I know you, Jade. Sooner or later, your curiosity is going to get the best of you."
I scoffed and shook my head, "Not on this one."
Irritatingly enough, Cat's smirk never left as she shrugged her shoulders and finally turned back to the TV.
As much as I despised admitting it, she was right. As the days went on, I couldn't help myself as I ran through possible scenarios of what could have happened while we were on a break, or whatever it was that we were doing. I guess I just never imagined finding out in the way that I did.
It was early in the afternoon, and Leila had called me earlier that day asking me to swing by whenever I could because her class was cancelled and Emma was going to San Diego for the day so we'd have the house to ourselves.
Asking her what happened definitely crossed my mind while I was in the cab, though as I pulled up in front of Leila's building, I shook my head and decided to let sleeping dogs lie. I had a feeling that there was a good reason for wanting to leave whatever Leila had done buried. And really, who was I to demand answers when she forgave me so gracefully?
I bounded up the front steps and pressed the button to ring her apartment.
"What?" I heard Emma's sharp voice say through the intercom.
"Lovely, Emma," was my reply.
Instead of an answer, she buzzed me in and I opened the door and charged up the stairs with an abnormally excited pep to my step. Once I was standing outside Leila's door, I knocked three times and leaned my elbow against the doorframe. There was very little wait before the door flung up and I was eye to eye with Leila.
"Hey you." She said before leaning forward and kissing me softly.
"Hey yourself." I replied with a grin as she ushered me into her apartment.
"You're looking rather swanky today." Leila commented and I watched as her eyes trailed up my body before resting on my own eyes.
I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her waist and slid my hands into the back pockets of her jeans, "Cat and Beck are having people over at Cat's place. Thought I'd extend the invite."
Leila's smile widened as she rolled onto her tip toes to kiss me again, "I'd love to! But...do you think it'd be okay if we brought Emma?" Leila asked in a hushed tone.
My brow scrunched in confusion, "What happened to San Diego?"
Leila rolled her eyes, "Fucking jackass she was supposed to be meeting up with blew her off last minute. He conveniently forgot to tell her he had a girlfriend when they started talking."
I let out a low whistle, "Bummer. Hey Emma," I shouted over my shoulder into the apartment.
"What?" I heard Emma's voice drone from her bedroom.
"Wanna come to a party at Cat's tonight?" I asked.
Emma appeared in the doorway, "Will Andre be there?" She asked, clearly trying to be cavalier.
I smiled knowingly, "Most likely."
Emma made a point to look like she was contemplating her decision. Like it was something more serious than whether or not she wanted to show up to a fucking party. I had to give it to her though, I was the same way in high school. Fuck, I'm still like that.
"Your offer will be withdrawn in five...four..." Leila began to playfully countdown.
Emma shrugged, "Fine. I'll go." She said before disappearing again. Minutes later, once Leila and I settled ourselves on the couch, I heard the shower go off and laughed.
"She's going to spend the rest of the evening trying to figure out what to wear." Leila commented with a laugh.
"Really? I didn't think she cared that much." I said offhandedly.
"She's got a thing for Andre. She always puts a bit more effort into looking effortlessly beautiful if she fancies someone." Leila explained.
We spent the rest of the afternoon judging every one of Emma's outfits, and while she only vocally asked for Leila's opinion, I offered my own two cents when I saw fit.
"I don't recall asking you, West." Emma griped after I shot down the fourth outfit.
"Andre's one of my best friends. I think I know what gets his attention." I commented as I idly flipped through channels on TV.
Emma floundered for words for a minute before scoffing, "This isn't for Andre."
"Okay." I agreed, albeit unconvincingly.
She huffed once more before stomping back to her room.
"You enjoy teasing her far too much." Leila commented.
I shrugged, "She doesn't put up with it. It makes it a bit more fun."
So after a few more outfits, Emma finally settled on something she deemed suitable and we hailed a cab to Cat's place. The party was small, just the usual crew, sans Tori, and some of Cat's friends from work and the guys that Beck worked with as well. I kept an eye on Emma and the eyes she was making at Andre whenever he'd be telling a story. It was cute, and I could make that happen.
A few hours after we arrived, I found myself one girlfriend short and noticed Emma's lack of presence as well. I stood from the couch and made my way into the kitchen, fixing myself another drink before beginning to search for my girlfriend.
I was walking down the hallway towards Cat's bedroom when I heard two distinct voices talking.
"She seriously hasn't asked?" It was Emma.
"No. It was her idea to leave it alone." Leila's husky voice replied. This piqued my interest because they were clearly talking about me. I'm not so narcissistic to just assume, but giving the little bit I heard, and knowing what I knew about our current situation, I would have been surprised to find out it was about someone else.
"So you aren't going to tell her?"
"She told me not to, Emma! What am I supposed to do?" Leila asked exasperatedly.
"So let me get this straight; she bares her heart and fucking soul to you, when you know she doesn't even like admitting to liking her friends, and you're just going to keep this from her and go on with your little Pleasantville lifestyle?"
"For God's sake, Emma, it's like you just want her to know that we fucked."
Oh. Oh. Oh, fuck. I didn't have the words to explain how badly I wished I had just turned my back when I first heard them talking. It was at that particular moment that I realized ignorance really is bliss. I turned sharply on my heel and made my way back into the kitchen, downing my entire drink in the process. I stood at the counter and rested my hands on the edge and hung my head.
"Jade? What are you doing?" I heard Cat ask from behind me. I turned quickly and looked at her with the most composed smile I could muster.
"It's nothing, just felt a bit sick." I said as I shook my head.
Cat looked at me with slight disbelief in her eyes as she walked by me and pulled a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with tap water before handing it to me, "You never knew how to pace yourself."
I shrugged, "What can I say? I'm stubborn as hell."
Cat guffawed, "Like I didn't already know that. Hey, how late are you and Leila planning on staying?"
My gut twisted at the mere mention of her name, and swallowing the water in my mouth turned into a task in itself before I managed to speak, "I don't know. Why?"
Cat awkwardly shuffled a bit and looked down, "Just wondering."
"Tori's coming." I stated after analyzing Cat's body language.
Her eyes snapped up to meet mine, "What? No. Why would you say that?"
My brow rose as I looked at her skeptically, "Really? You're gonna lie to me about that?"
Cat sighed and her shoulders slumped, "She mentioned wanted to swing by, but she didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
I scoffed, "I'll be fine. She's the one who suggested we distance ourselves from each other."
"For good reason." Cat commented under her breath. I gave her a severe look and she shrugged her shoulders in a "can you blame me?" matter. "So you'll be okay?" She asked.
I nodded, "I'll be fine."
"Good. 'Coz she's already here." Cat said quickly before turning back around and heading for the living room.
"Cat, what the fuck!" I exclaimed, freezing her in her tracks.
She turned around sheepishly and said apologetically, "I forgot to talk to you about it earlier. Besides, what difference does it make if you're fine?" She asked with a knowing look.
"Who's fine?" Leila's voice trailed into the kitchen as she soon emerged form the hallway, with Emma close behind.
"Jade." Cat said plainly as Emma walked by her briskly and walked into the living room.
"Don't I know it." Leila said playfully as she snaked her arm around my waist, nuzzling her head in my shoulder.
I couldn't fight how my body went rigid when she touched me, or how my stomach dropped to the ground at the feel of her fingers sneaking under the fabric of my shirt. I wasn't thinking rationally, I was thinking emotionally. And right now my emotions were telling me I was fucking furious and didn't want to be anywhere near Leila while I figured out how to cope with this new information I had found.
I cleared my throat before looking down to Leila, "Do you wanna head out?"
Confusion furrowed Leila's brow, "Are you not having fun?"
"Nah, I am. I'm just a bit tired is all." I said as I slowly removed myself from her embrace. Hurt now masked that confusion as she stammered for a bit.
"Yeah, sure, we can leave. Let's just go say bye and see if Emma wants to stay." She said.
I nodded and followed her into the living room, and let me tell you I wasn't expecting to see what I saw. Tori was perched delicately on the couch, and that was expected. What surprised me was the sinewy blonde attached at her hip who was currently looking at her adoringly before leaning in and placing a chaste kiss to Tori's lips.
As composed as I could be, I grabbed Leila's purse from the floor and handed it to her. When Tori pulled away from her apparent date, she looked at me with wide eyes, "Jade. I didn't know you were here." She said in surprise.
"Yeah, we're just heading out, actually." I said as I stood behind Leila and wrapped an arm possessively around her waist. She looked up at me in confusion for a moment before sinking into the embrace.
"Well, wait, I want you to meet Charlie." She said as she motioned to the drop-dead gorgeous blond who was now looking at me as if I were her enemy.
"Right. Yeah, it's great to meet you." I said as my hand slipped down Leila's arm and laced our fingers together.
There were groans of disagreement and Beck was the first to make a joke, "Aw, come on. Isn't your sex life active enough?"
"Ha. Ha. Ass." I said dramatically before bending my head down to place a kiss to Leila's cheek, "I'm just beat. Emma, are you staying?" I asked Emma who had attached herself to Andre's side.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Emma replied, eyeing both Leila and I curiously.
"Well, until next time, losers." I said as I tugged Leila by the hand out of the apartment and into the hallway.
"What's wrong?" Leila asked me, concern lacing her words as she followed my rather hasty retreat from Cat's apartment building.
I didn't answer her until we were outside, and instead of hailing a cab I began walking in the direction of my apartment. I couldn't be in closed quarters with her. It just wasn't an option. I took a few deep breaths in a futile attempt to quell my raging heart before turning sharply on my heels and causing Leila to run into me with a small oomph.
"Were you ever gonna tell me you slept with your roommate?" I asked with venom dripping from every word.
Leila's face drained of its color and her mouth gaped for the words I wasn't sure I wanted to hear, "Jade, you said you didn't want to know, and I didn't want to push the topic-"
"Stop." I said, shaking my head as I turned back around and continued to walk.
"It didn't mean anything. We were drunk, and I was upset, and things just kind of happened." Leila continued to ramble.
"Stop!" I repeated, my voice growing harsh as I turned back around once more. Leila looked at me as she cowered into herself. There was a tense moment of silence before I let out a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair.
"You really think we can do this?" I asked as I fought to keep the tears at bay.
"What do you mean?"
I took a deep breath through flared nostrils and swallowed, "We were stupid to think we could just pretend like what we did to each other hadn't happened."
Leila's shoulders fell in defeat and she looked at me in devastation, "Maybe. I just... I can't walk away from you, Jade. I don't want to." She said through tears as she took a tentative step towards me, reaching out hesitantly before cupping my face.
"I'm so hurt right now, Leila." I said softly.
She nodded, "I know. I'm so sorry. Really, I wanted to tell you, I did, and I'm so sorry you found out the way that you did."
My head was shaking back and forth as I sniffled, "Are we completely out of our minds for giving this a chance?" I asked quietly.
Leila gave me a soft smile, her eyes shining, "Probably."
"No more secrets?"
Leila reached up on her toes and kissed me gently, "No more secrets."
We finally managed to hail a cab and went back to my apartment, spending the rest of the evening curled up on the couch and watching movies. It wasn't until we were wrapped up in each other and my unkempt bed sheets did I voice the one worry that had been brewing in my mind since I heard what she had done.
"I don't have anything to worry about, do I?" I asked softly as I brushed a loose strand of hair away from her eyes.
She looked at me in confusion, "Of course not. I want you, Jade. Only you. You just have to trust me, okay? Trust me like I'm trusting you."
I bit down on my lip as I contemplated what she was asking of me. I was never a trustworthy person. The only girl I trusted to be around Beck when I wasn't present was Cat, for obvious reasons. And with Tori, I recalled on numerous occasions the arguments that took place because I didn't like the way a boy was talking to her, or how close a girl had sat next to her at a party. And now Leila. She lived with Emma.
"It won't be easy." I commented.
Leila nodded her head softly, "I know."
"I'm gonna fuck up at some point." I warned her.
She smiled, "I will, too."
"I love you." I finally said, my voice hardly above a whisper.
"I know," Leila said before she leaned forward and kissed me, "I love you too."
The next morning after I saw Leila off and waved her cab away down the busy street, I was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee when my phone went off.
"Hey Kitty Cat, how was the rest of the party?" I said after answering.
"It was good. Interesting, but good."
I smiled, "Interesting how?"
"Charlie is... Well..."
"Yeah, what the fuck is that?" I asked loudly, cutting off Cat's train of thought.
"What do you mean?"
"When did she get brought in the picture?"
There was no answer and I was confused for a moment until something clicked, "No fucking way. You knew?"
"Well, I talk to Tori too, you know." Cat argued feebly.
"This was the fucking bridge you'd have to jump off, wasn't it?" I asked in reference to the bit of conversation I had overheard the day I apologized to Leila.
"They weren't serious then, I didn't think it was something that would come up. Then she called me a few days ago asking if it'd be okay to bring Charlie around. We wanted to meet her, Jade. You can't be mad at Tori for moving on. You have." Cat said, her voice sounding soft and scolding at the same time.
I groaned, knowing she was right, "I know. You're right. I'm being an idiot." I finally contended.
"How about Emma and Andre, huh? Didn't see that coming." Cat said with a laugh.
I scoffed loudly, "Yeah. Emma. A real winner, that one."
"You still don't like her?" Cat asked in surprise.
"Kinda hard to when she's fucked my girlfriend."
"Wait, I'm not following." Cat replied.
So I explained to her what I found out last night and the confrontation with Leila that occurred afterwards. She made many arguments about why I should just walk away, and how this relationship had become far too hectic in such a short time. Though she made counter arguments right after about how this was the first mature relationship I was in and that she was proud of me for sticking around.
"So what exactly do you think I should do?" I asked as I flopped down on the couch.
"I think you should keep doing what you're doing." Cat replied simply.
"What about all this drama bull shit?"
"There's always going to be drama, Jade. I think this clean slate, honesty policy you two are trying out is worth seeing through. Besides, you guys agreed that for all intents and purposes, you were broken up when both of you slept with other people. And I mean, all things aside, she is good for you."
"It's just gonna be so hard looking at Emma now. And they live together."
Cat laughed, "I don't think Emma's romantic attention is something you need to worry about."
"Why's that?" I asked as I idly flipped through television channels, not paying any attention to what I was skipping.
"She's got a date with Andre tonight."
I sighed, "I don't know, Cat. I don't think a date with a guy can remedy what happened. I just gotta work through it, you know? And if it doesn't work out, well, at least I tried, yeah?"
"Exactly." Cat agreed.
I opened my mouth to close the conversation when I heard a knocking at my door. I looked at it in confusion, "Hey Cat? I gotta go. Someone's here."
"Okay. Call me later, okay?"
"Sure." I said before hanging up and making my way to the door. More persistent knocking began before I swung the door open and found myself face-to-face with Emma.
"Oh." I said as I leaned against the doorframe.
For the first time since I'd met her, Emma looked apologetic. She looked small and frail in her baggy jumper and ripped up jeans.
"I know you know." She said simply.
I opened the door wider and ushered her in. She nodded her head and took the few steps into the threshold of my apartment. I closed the door behind her and moved back to the couch, "So?"
"I just really needed you to know that it was a one-time thing that would never happen again."
"Usually that's what 'one-time thing' means." I commented rather rudely.
Emma rolled her eyes, "Look, this isn't easy for me, okay? It's just, Leila was so torn up over you. So I bought a couple bottles of wine and it just happened."
I shook my head, "Spilling milk happens. Accidentally stepping on someone's heel happens. Sex does not just happen."
"So how do you explain you and Tori?" Emma quipped.
I looked at her with a raised brow, "I gave my apology already, and I certainly don't need to reiterate it to you."
Emma groaned and dropped her defensive pose, "This is fucked up, okay? I never imagined in a million years having sex with a girl, let alone my best fucking friend. It shouldn't have happened, and I don't really know why it did. She needed someone in that way, and I was there."
"How considerate of you." I stated dumbly.
"She loves you, okay? I wanted her to tell you right away so we could get it out in the open and move on, but you had to try to be all noble saying you didn't want to know. All I came here to say is that you don't have to worry about anything happening between us again. You have my word. I gave you a second chance, too, unless you've already forgotten."
My lips drew into a tight line as I appraised her frustrated appearance. Could I be so forgiving? Could I forget that she knew the intimate parts of my girlfriend that were once reserved for only me? I couldn't decide if I would have preferred it be a stranger that she slept with. Then again, Emma would never hurt Leila.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, I stood and looked at Emma, "I'm not saying we're okay, but I am saying we'll work on it."
Emma nodded, "Fair enough."
She left soon after we agreed to be civil with each other until I could successfully cope with the fact that she had slept with my girlfriend. I was left alone on the couch with the TV buzzing in the background as I thought about one thing and one thing only:
Tori Vega had a girlfriend.
And it wasn't me.