Chapter five

my twin

EPOV

Edwin looked at me, searching my face and squinting his eyes as if he were trying to place who I was. My entire being felt anxious, hoping he knew right away, before his eyes widened and he stood up.

He pretty much hugged me so tightly he lifted me off the ground.

Damn!

He's was so strong; you would swear he hung out with Emmett.

"Edwin," I gasped, unable to say any anything more.

He didn't say anything; he just continued to hug me until I could feel my shoulder get wet.

Was he crying? I asked myself.

"Edwin, please say something?" I begged.

That's when Lidia came over.

"You must be his brother. He's told me a lot about you from what he remembers, but unfortunately he doesn't speak much. I'm always waiting for the day he'll speak more than a few words," she explained.

I was saddened by her words; very much so.

"M-my b-b-b-bro-brother," Edwin stuttered.

I smiled. A big a piece of my past I thought was long gone stood right here in front of me, still hugging me and clinging to me for dear life.

I thought I'd never see my brother again—all because he suffered the same fate I did.

Beside me, Bella stood in shock and disbelief, and once Edwin let me go I turned to her not knowing what to say.

"You have a brother!?" she asked in complete shock.

"Yeah, I thought I'd never see him again. I even thought he was dead, and I kind of want leave my past unspoken. I'd rather not bring it up, so I never talked about him," I said with a sign. I knew I should tell her, but I was just scared.

Bella nodded. I knew she wanted some answers, but I also knew she wouldn't push me and didn't want to either.

Everyone wound up talking while we waited. I learned Lidia, the lady who told me Edwin rarely speaks, was his girlfriend, while Carlisle and Esme were his adoptive parents and that he has lived with them for years.

It was all so fascinating yet shocking to learn about my twin, who I thought had died years before, standing before me. I mean, what were the odds that you get turned and find your twin—who was turned into a vampire as well? I would say it was remarkable. It wasn't an everyday experience, and yet it was happening to me.

To say I was excited would be the understatement of the century—and I had lived through three and a half.

About three minutes into my thoughts, Jasper came out holding a baby girl.

"It's a girl!" he exclaimed, his eyes full of excitement.

"Awww, how cute!" Esme exclaimed. "How is Alice?" she added concerned.

"Great—come see her." He smiled and led us to Alice's room.

"Hey, guys," Alice said smiling as we all walked in. She looked paler than usual—she must be tired. After all, being half vampire does put a damper on your mood, but I was sure she would heal quickly.

"Hi," Edwin squeaked as he watched Jasper place the tiny baby back in the arms of her mother.

"Hel…." Jasper began, cutting himself off when he realized Edwin and I looked exactly alike—apart from the fact that Edwin's hair was black. "What the…" he continued, confused.

"There's two of you," Alice finished.

"Uh yeah, we're twins. I will explain at a later point… I um … just yeah." It was all I could say; I couldn't find the right words to explain myself.

"It's all right, Edward. I already know." Alice smiled at me.

"So, names?" I quickly squeaked out to change the subject.

"I was thinking Alicia Lynn Whitlock Hale." Alice smiled with the upmost enthusiasm.

"It's perfect, love. Little Alicia," Jasper said with a smile.

And I think my heart smiled just picturing me and Bella in the same situation, but my mind knew it could never be. Or, that's what I thought.

I would let fate decide.

It was fate who brought her to you, doofus.

I wondered what Bella's thoughts were about it—if she had any.

I sat down and let my eyes wander, letting my mind drift away that I didn't notice Rose walking by. She tripped and fell over my feet, her heel catching my pant leg and causing it to ride up enough for her to get a glimpse of my severely scared ankle.

"Oh my god, Rose, I'm so—" but her gasp cut me off

"Edward, I'm ok but what happened to your ankle?" she asked very concerned. Rose has always been a very concerned person—I guess that's why Emmett liked her.

I twitched at her question, my hands shaking as the mere mention of it brought back memories.

~* Flash back*~

1668 Edward and Edwin age four

"Mama!" Edwin and I cried in unison as we tried to wake her. We needed her to protect us, but she wouldn't wake up.

Even for our young age we knew in some way she loved us; even if we didn't understand her reasoning for everything. We were so young and she was our support system, our protection, but in that moment we didn't know what else to do; our little minds told us to go get mom.

"Shut up—she isn't coming back!" James yelled. He was my mother's—well the more common term for it now was—pimp, but we were too young to know that. All we knew was he was a very bad man.

We just cried louder; poor Edwin had a bloody nose, because James made him trip and fall running up the stairs to get mama.

We cried in not only pain but fear. What else were two toddlers supposed to do? We didn't know what would become of us after thi,s because mama wasn't going to save us.

That's when James ran at us. On instinct we ran; Edwin ran into the closet down the hall while I ran down stairs, not seeing the nails that were sticking out due to poor construction of our small house. I tripped and down I went, scratching my right ankle pretty badly.

Rather than cry in pain, fear kept me going. I ran, or well limped, into the kitchen to hide.

I could hear James footsteps.

"Come here, little one. Come out come out were ever you are," he sneered, but I stayed hidden.

Once we were both sure he grew tired of looking for us and left, we came out finding one another again.

"I sworry, brofer," Edwin said saddened, and finding one of mom's shirts he toddled over to tend my wound

'Not fault, brofer." I pouted then yelped at the contact to my wound.

After that we managed to wrap it around my ankle before curling up together next to mom, hoping for help from someone. I couldn't walk much and I knew Edwin wouldn't let me leave so we stayed together.

Eventually someone knocked and took us straight to a doctor to be checked and have our wounds cared for properly. Then we were taken to a foster home. All was ok; we were fed and tucked in to bed every night until one day two families came and each wanted one of us. We weren't allowed to go with one another, so we went reluctantly with the promise we would get to visit often.

That only went on till we were seven. I had so much anxiety after from not having my twin with me. Edwin was my best friend.

My teenage years were hell; especially since I got turned. I'd lived with this forever.

~*End flash back*~

"NOO!" I screamed. Everyone looked at me, and I knew Bella could see the terror that filled my eyes.

And it killed me to let her see me this way.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asked, sounding scared.

And frankly, so was I.

"No, don't touch me! Leave me alone! Go away!" I yelled, scared and unaware that I was actually safe, but those memories haunted me.

I really had to stop repressing them, but I couldn't help it.

I ran out of the hospital room not looking back, and little did I know Edwin was crying behind me.

I just wanted to get home, and once I got there, I locked myself in my room, got in my pajamas, and crawled in bed, crying.

I was tempted to cut, but I told myself I stopped a long time ago.

Laying there I ignored the calls and texts that came from Edwin, Bella or any of my friends.

I was okay for a while until the need for Bella ignited, making the days without her unbearable.

I was starting to think I was at the point where it was tell her or lose her. So, I tried calling her.

"Hello, Edward," she answered simply.

"Hey, Bella—don't hang up, please. I want to explain myself from the hospital last week. It's about time you know," I explained to her.

"All right, Edward. I want to help you, and I will listen, but no more secrecy. You're scaring me, and I don't want to leave," she said, sounding sad.

"I understand, Bella. That's why I am going to tell you what I need to, and we can go from there," I explained, my voice shaky with fear.

"All right, Edward. I'll be over in about ten minutes," she said.

I agreed and hung up, deciding to play my guitar while I waited. Before I knew it I was singing.

"God, I'm down here on my knees, because it's the last place left to fall, begging for another chance. If there's any chance at all that you might still be listening, loving and forgiving guys like me. I spent my whole life getting it all wrong, and I sure could use your help, 'cause from now on I wanna be a good man, a do like I should man. I wanna be the kind of man the mirror likes to see. I wanna be a strong man and admit that I was wrong man. God I'm askin' you to come and change me into the man I wanna be…"

Bella was in the door way—I didn't notice—and she'd heard my singing. I didn't realize until she came over and sat looking at me with wide eyed wonder. I wound up finishing the song, singing to her.

"That was beautiful, Edward," she said, smiling when I finished. "I hate the secrets you're keeping, but if we can resolve this and confide in one another, then I will help you be the man you want to be-more importantly, my man," she told me in a melancholy tone.

She seemed so depressed; was it because of my absence?

God, I'm such an ass.

"I understand, Bella, and I want nothing more than that," I replied, smiling. "Please, tell me you're okay?" I added, pleading with her.

"I am. I will be. What happened at the hospital last week worried me a great deal, and you ignoring my calls, texts and visits really hurt. Not having you there killed me inside," she explained.

And biggest dick award goes to Edward Cullen.

I felt so horrible.

"And I kept wondering whether we're meant to be or not, and if I would even see or hear from you again," she cried and my un-beating heart sank.

"God, Bella, I'm so, so sorry. Words can't say how I feel about you. I'll make it better, I promise. I'm here forever," I rasped, croaked up by my current sadness and frustration.

"Then make it better, Edward. I want this to work. So far I know nothing about you except you are a lawyer."

"I'm sorry, Bella. There is a reason, and that's what I brought you here to tell you. After today you will know every last detail about me, got it?" I asked, making damn sure she was listening.

"I got it, Edward. Just tell me," she pleaded.

I looked at my beautiful Bella, and her chocolate orbs filled with tears, pleading with me. All I could see was sadness and pain, and something told me she might understand me.

"All right," I agreed, putting my guitar down to pick her up.

"Ooooooooh!" she squealed, and for the first time in over a week, I chuckled.

"let's sit—I need you to sit," I told her, sitting her on my bed. We both sat cross-legged facing each other with my hand in hers while she rubbed the back of it.

So sweet…

Smiling, it helped me go on.

"Now, Bella, what I am about to tell you is not for the faint of heart. If at anytime you decide you want me to stop, just say the word and I will. If you want to leave me after I tell you all this, I'll understand. I wouldn't want to live with me either, but I can live with it because I can't lose you without knowing about me," I explained.

"I will never leave you, Edward." She smiled, caressing my hand; which made me smile a little.

I exhaled deeply, then looked into her eyes with the up most devotion I could manage. I wanted her to know I wasn't trying to ditch her because of my past. I wanted her.

Badly.

"Okay, well here it goes. I'll start off from the beginning. My mother was, what you would call today, a crack whore, so lord knows who my father is." I scowled, wishing I'd had a father growing up, but then things would have been drastically different, and I don't think I'd change it.

"Go on, Edward. You can do it." She rubbed my hand, looking at me as she listened.

"Well, she had, what today you would call, a pimp." I sniffed because the tears started and my hands were shaking."He was okay at first when we first met him. My mom referred to him as a friend, and apparently they'd spent a lot of time together because we saw him all the time. Like I said he seemed okay, till one night—I remember me and Edwin were almost two years old—we heard them arguing, so we peeked—being the curious toddlers we were." The tears were falling like a faucet now. "We saw him hit our mom. We thought it was just play until she started crying. He heard our little gasps then ran after us. He hit us then locked us in our room." I felt Bella wipe my tears and I could see she was crying to. "He hit us a few times and locked us in our rooms, where me and Edwin curled in our little bed hugging one another as we cried, shocked by what happened," I rasped, my voice cracked with sadness. "He abused us until we were four years old, and our mom never seemed to care. I guess it was the drugs or the fact she was scared too. I guess I'll never know." I cried harder now.

"So what happened at the hospital?" she asked, worried.

"Rosalie's question triggered a memory, and I froze. I just panicked, and I was scared like I was that very day," I answered, my lip quivering.

"What was the memory?" she asked.

I found the courage and told her all about it. I don't know where it came from, but I got it.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. Growing up when my dad was drunk, he didn't realize what he was saying and I got emotionally abused. When he came to your house that was the first time he ever hit me. Growing up was rough, and I'm over 100, but life is still hard," she told me, and my heart broke.

I was right; she did share a piece of my pain.

"I'm sorry, babe. I wish I could do something," I said with such a sadness to my voice that it would have made even Emmett cry.

And that's saying a lot.

"Y-you called me babe." She grinned and her whole face lit up.

"Of course I did. I would like you to be my girlfriend," I said, just as she blushed, and I'm sure I would have too if I could.

I was always so shy.

"I would love that, Edward" she exclaimed, smiling gleefully.

"Really?"

"Yes, really, Edward."

I grinned happily.

We went to bed that night holding each other, happy we had one another.

For once I was happy.

I was free.

A/N:ok so for the long wait I decided to combine the chapters I had planed I originally this 2 be to chapters so I decided it to be all one one depending how long Edward/edwins interaction is next chapter there may be a lemon! Till next time!