AN
DAMN, WHAT CAN I SAY! I'M SO SORRY GUYS, REALLY I AM! But seriously, I wasn't away this long on purpose. I've been having major technical difficulties that took a lot of time and money to fix. But I'm back now and ready to cater to you guys again.
Disclaimer-I own nothing. Wow, I must have been gone for too long if I don't even mind writing the Disclaimer anymore!
Chapter Thirteen
Two hours after the slapdash wedding ceremony, Ichigo knew he'd made a terrible mistake. He'd suspected it even as the judge had asked the lifetime-commitment questions... which Ichigo had answered with feeling and Rukia had answered as though she'd mistaken her wedding for a wake. There seemed to be a war going on inside of her that for the life of him he couldn't figure out. Not once during the brief exchange of vows had she met his eyes. Her lips had offered a brief and gentle smile when the judge had told Ichigo to kiss his bride, but immediately after she'd withdrawn into herself once more.
He knew she understood why he'd been so late; she had no right to be angry. As the first officer on the scene of an accident on the highway, he'd instinctively stopped to do what he could for the young mother and her two small children, even though he was off duty and out of his jurisdiction. By the time the first Chiba unit had responded, Ichigo was already quite late, and the heavy snowfall had further impeded his progress.
Rukia had not chewed him out for his tardiness. She had hardly greeted him at all. Rather stiffly she'd informed him that it was too late to get married. If the clerk hadn't rushed out to the foyer to tell her that the judge could wait another minute now that her "young man" had finally arrived, he might have given up trying to persuade her to hurry inside.
With no visible enthusiasm-with no expression of any kind-Rukia had trailed Ichigo to the judge's chambers and gone through the motions of committing herself to him for life. Once she'd signed the mandatory forms, she had marched out of the courthouse with terse directions to the restaurant where she'd made reservations for dinner. Ichigo had followed her in his truck, hoping that all she needed was a little bit of time.
But all through dinner Rukia had chattered about police business and her plans to furnish "her" new house. He looked in vain for the tiniest bit of joy on her face, hoping he hadn't imagined it when he'd kissed her. But she just looked numb with trepidation and maybe even regret.
By the time she paid for dinner-refusing to let Ichigo even leave the tip-he knew his honeymoon plans were shattered. When she scrambled up to the hotel room before he could park the truck and join her, he made the hardest decision of his life.
A few moments later he knocked on the door. When Rukia opened it, Ichigo met her eyes sadly, but did not step inside.
She looked so beautiful, yet so magnificently sad. He'd never seen her look so delicate, so feminine... so frail. She didn't look like the tough woman he'd learned to love and respect. That he didn't mind-he loved her tough; he loved her gentle. What broke his heart was that she was now his wife, and it was obvious that the knowledge filled her with despair.
"Rukia?" he said softly, when she started to march away from the door.
She turned back, her lips pursed apprehensively, as she realized he was not coming in.
"This is all new to me, so please forgive me if I do this badly." His voice was low and hoarse. Every word felt like a load of cement. "But it seems to me-for God's sake, Rukia, correct me if I'm wrong-that you might be more comfortable if I... took another room here tonight." He swallowed hard; he had to look away. "Or maybe just drive back to Karakura."
When Ichigo heard her gasp, his gaze rushed back to hers. At last he saw true feeling in her eyes again, but he still could not understand it. It wasn't joy, nor was it irritation. It was fear.
Her voice was a fragile whisp as she asked, "Is... is that really what you want to do?"
"Oh, Rukia." He dropped his eyes and leaned against the door, plunging his hands in his pockets to keep from touching her. "I had such plans for tonight. I had such plans for our life together! I would give anything to make them still come true." He opened his eyes and managed to face her again. "But I bulldozed you into marrying me. I won't steamroll you into sharing a bed with me, too."
She looked shaky now. "Ichigo, nobody bulldozes Rukia Kuchiki. I don't do anything I don't want to do."
For a moment he grew hopeful. The words belonged to the police Captain he knew, even if the tone of voice belonged to a stranger. "Rukia, what do you want? What's going on? Will you just... talk to me like I'm not a stranger?"
She blinked a few times, then shook her head. "So much for my efforts at nonchalance. I thought I was doing pretty well over dinner. You knew I was faking it, huh?"
The vise on his heart tightened its grip. "I knew."
For a moment she stood there staring at him, obviously fighting tears. "I didn't mean to be cruel or rude. I didn't mean to be unfair to you. I was doing the best I could."
Ichigo didn't know what to say to that. He'd never felt quite so helpless in his life.
Then she whispered, "I think it would be easier to talk about this if you came inside. I don't want to tell the whole hotel what I'm feeling. It's going to be hard enough to say it to you."
With sinking hopes, he stepped inside, unable to speak while Rukia shut and locked the door. He could hardly breathe while he waited for her to tell him what he could expect. He didn't know whether he should rejoice or start grieving.
Rukia's face looked like an angel's in the softly lit room. She was hurting-she could not hide it-and it wounded Ichigo that he could do nothing to ease her pain. If he touched her now, he would only make things worse.
For a long, tense moment she merely met his eyes, and her own were full of unshed tears. Then, to Ichigo's astonishment, she pleaded, "Please hold me. Please tell me it'll somehow be all right."
"Oh, baby." Instantly he gathered her up close; fiercely she clung to him. When he heard her smother a sob, he pulled her closer yet. "Rukia, I love you so much. I desperately want you to be my wife. Tell me why everything's going wrong!"
She kissed his throat, then hungrily met his lips when he leaned down closer. It was the kiss they should have shared at the courthouse-long, hopeful... hot.
Then she was babbling, "I'm so frightened, Ichigo. I feel so disconnected. I don't feel whole without you. I've never felt anything like this before."
He kissed her again, his courage growing. "I'm listening, Rukia. Tell me what's going on."
She wasn't crying so hard now, but she was still weeping some. "When I thought you were late, I was afraid you'd changed your mind. I was afraid you'd won a bet on the station pool. I was afraid you'd played games with me all along."
"Rukia! You can't really-"
"Then I was afraid you were so sure of me you didn't care if I was scared or embarrassed. I was angry, a thousand times more angry than the situation warranted-a man being late for an appointment, even for a wedding."
He kissed her again, deciding his own words wouldn't add much to the conversation. But she pulled back again, still gripping his waist.
"And then I realized I was furious because I was terrified. I knew you loved me. I knew you hadn't forgotten me. That meant the only reason you could be so late was that you were injured... or dead."
He pulled her closer. "Baby, I couldn't call. If I'd been in Karakura I could've sent a message-"
"In all the years I've been a cop, I've never felt that kind of panic. Irrational, out of control. I started thinking how it would be if I was on duty. I started thinking about what you believed about women cops-that they lack courage, that they freeze, that good men die because they can't hold their own."
"Rukia, I was wrong. You taught me that Uryu died because of one weak woman. It wasn't you."
"But I don't know anymore! Don't you see? Ever since I started falling for you I've been struggling to hold on to the core of myself, losing my strength little by little. It's the real reason I was so afraid to love you, even when I realized that you wanted to marry me and my rules about never dating subordinates didn't really apply anymore."
Ichigo reeled inwardly as he tried to digest this news. He'd always believed that it was what other people thought of how Rukia did her job that had kept her from surrendering her heart to him. No wonder she'd battled him so fiercely! From her point of view, her very core as a person was at stake.
"You're right about the rest of the men adjusting sooner or later to our marriage. I know they will. But I don't know what it's going to do to me. Inside. I need to be hard to keep the men under my control, Ichigo. I have to be tough to survive." She brushed back a fresh wave of tears. "You make me feel sweet and soft and silky. I've cried more since I met you than I have in the past three year!"
Ichigo kissed her temple. He didn't know what to say.
"I fell apart at the courthouse. I've never felt so helpless in my whole adult life. And there wasn't even an emergency!"
"Rukia, your own wedding is an emergency! Aunt Yoruichi says that every bride falls apart over something on her wedding day. This is a unique set of circumstances that won't ever occur again."
"But how do I know that, Ichigo? How do I know that sometime you'll be on duty, and I'll hear there's trouble, and I'll have to make a decision-"
"You'll make it, Rukia. I'm sure."
At last he seemed to reach her. She pulled back, her eyes finally dry. "Are you, Ichigo? Are you really?"
Slowly, he nodded. Even if he hadn't believed it, he would have told her the same thing. This was not the time to air his own reservations... reservations he'd long since burried, or at least put on hold. After all, they were in a hotel room on their honeymoon, not in the middle of a shoot-out. "You're tough as toenails, bunnyhead," he assured her with all the confidence he could muster. "We'll look back and laugh about this a few years down the road."
At last Rukia smiled a true smile. She was starting to look more embarrassed than depressed. "I felt as though I were losing a grip on myself for a while there, Ichigo. When you showed up, I had to keep you at a distance to make sure I didn't... get us confused with me."
"Rukia, I warned you we'd have some adjustments to make in the 'us' department," he reminded her, wishing they could have made them without Rukia's becoming so rattled. "We're going to have our ups and downs. But nothing's going to happen that we can't handle as long as we're honest with each other. You're not the only one who's never been married before, you know. You're not the only one who's been scared to death tonight."
That was when she laid both her hands on his face, her brilliant amethyst eyes meeting his with love and a whole new brand of tenderness. "I never meant to hurt you, my strawberry. I've loved you almost from the start."
Ichigo took her hands in his and kissed each palm. "Likewise, Ru. Flipping me on my backside isn't the only way you took me off guard."
Her smile was even broader this time. He decided to brave the next step.
"I'm sorry I forgot to pick up flowers for you in all the fuss. At least I brought the ring, even though I left it in the truck."
"It's all right."
He kissed her again, more slowly now, more intimately. As her lips parted to welcome his seeking tongue, her breasts pressed against him, soft and warm. "I had the ring in my pocket all through dinner, but it didn't seem quite appropriate to bring the subject up."
Rukia snuggled closer. Her hands slipped down his back and kneaded the base of his spine. "Do you think it might be appropriate now?"
He nodded, fighting the hunger her hands incited in him. "I hope so, Rukia Kurosaki."
She grinned. "You can call me that off duty, but two Kurosakis at the station house might get confusing."
"I suppose. Especially someday when we'll have two Captain Kurosakis in the family."
Her grin widened. "We will, Ichigo. I'm sure of it."
Ichigo took her hand and led her toward the huge bed. He sat down and pulled Rukia onto his lap, then dug out the ring box and handed it to her without fanfare. When she opened the box, true pleasure lit her lovely features.
"Oh, Ichigo, it's just right!"
He touched the artistic ring of lillies engraved around a wide gold band. "I knew you wouldn't want anything too fancy, but I didn't want it to look like it belonged on a man's hand."
She gave him a thank-you kiss that foreshadowed a long night of poignant gratitude. "Ichigo, it's perfect. Really."
He took it out of the box, lifted her left hand and slowly, gingerly, slipped it on her finger. He kissed her once, very gently, then whispered, "With this ring, I thee wed."
When Rukia's eyes met his, Ichigo saw fresh tears, but they weren't the same kind of tears she'd shed before. He held her hand tightly and said, "I don't remember just what we said in front of that judge, but I'm telling you here and now that I'm proud as hell to be your husband, and I'm going to love you forever."
Rukia swallowed hard, then touched his face with the gentlest of hands. "And I'm proud to be your wife, Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm even willing to issue a memo to that effect." He was about to kiss her when she added soberly, "Even if I can't make a big fuss publicly, you need to know, for now and for all time-" her voice grew choked with sincerity "-that I belong to you irrevocably."
Ichigo knew what the words cost her, and he was ready to psend the rest of his life making her glad that she'd taken the risk. He was struggling to find the right words to tell her just that when Rukia stood abruptly and marched away from the bed.
Ichigo fought a fresh wave of fear until he realized that she was unzipping that magnificent Victorian dress, stepping out of it, hanging it up in the hotel minicloset. Underneath she was wearing a delicate pink slip, slathered in lace, low-cut and high-slitted. The satin all but begged for Ichigo's hands to explore what it concealed. The bullet scar on Rukia's left shoulder only heightened his desire for her. It was proof that she was the woman he'd come to love-courageous cop and still all female.
He stood, struggling for breath, as Rukia returned to the bed. Her walk was different now, fluid, sexy, openly inviting. She grinned provocatively as she slid her hands over his chest, then slipped them under his suit coat and pushed it off along with his heavy overcoat. She didn't bother to hang up either one, just tossed them on the floor. Slowly, tauntingly, she undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving his quivering chest naked as she slowly pushed him flat on the bed.
"If memory serves," she teased as she straddled Ichigo's lap, "I think this is where we left off." She leaned forward and bit his chest, ever so lightly, just as she had the night she'd begged him to leave her room.
Ichigo growled; he couldn't help himself. Then he pressed his hands against the satin. Down her back, over her hips, up the front of her perfect body until they cupped those deliciously full female breasts. He was still tense, not quite certain she wouldn't change her mind again, afraid to let himself get too aroused until he was sure this was really what Rukia wanted. If she needed him to do nothing but hold her this first night, he would find a way to do it.
But dear God, let her want more!
He rejoiced when Rukia's greedy hands slid down his chest and tugged on his buckle, rejoiced when the circles his thumbs drew around her nipples made her squirm. Ichigo savored each moment as he tapped and kneaded the tight buds through the slinky satin, listening to Rukia whimper.
"Oh, God, Ichigo! I used to lie awake at night and fantasize about this," she confessed.
"So did I." Ichigo was already on fire before Rukia slid down over him and squeezed him with her thighs. Quickly he tugged her slip over her head, then discarded the lacy bra beneath it. Rukia's breasts fell back into his eager hands, and she cried out as he took possession of them.
Ichigo sucked one nipple into his mouth, teasing it mercilessly with his tongue. Rukia gasped, then gasped again, struggling with his belt in fresh frenzy.
She was shaking too hard to do the job right, so Ichigo helped her with his buckle as she slipped off to one side. Together they dragged down his slacks and her stockings. Then Rukia plunged both hands into his briefs.
Ichigo was already so hot that he didn't think there was much more she could have done to inflame him, but when she seized the swelling core of his manhood, he lost all control. He whispered her name as she rubbed and tugged and stroked him. He couldn't stifle an aching groan.
The pleasure was so intense Ichigo could not bear it for long. Abruptly he grabbed Rukia's shoulders and pressed her back into the mattress, his knees locking with hers as his manhood probed the entrance to her secret woman's place. Only the tiniest wisp of satin still lay between them.
When Rukia moaned with deep, aching hunger, Ichigo knew it was nearly too late to stop; nearly too late to ask again if he'd correctly read every sign of passion and caring. When he pulled off her satin undies and replaced them with his kneading hand, Rukia seemed as desperate for their union as Ichigo was himself. She was crying out his name now, a veritable litany of sexual desire- "Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo!"
But he'd heard her beg for him before, then beg for him to stop. He still wanted proof that this ultimate merging was truly what she wanted, not another mistake she'd blame him for at daylight.
Rukia was tugging on his hair, whispering disconnected syllables of incoherent passion. Ichigo wanted her so much he thought he'd burst if she turned him aside now. Still, he forced himself to murmur, "Bunnyhead, are you sure?"
Rukia's eyes flashed open as though she'd just landed from a distant flight. For a long moment her blazing gaze met his, reading his desperation to please her, his desperation to please himself. She took a deep breath, as though words were beyond her. Then she found one, just one, as she scraped her nails down his arched back and clawed erotically at the quivering base of his spine.
"Husband," she vowed.
Joyfully he claimed his bride.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
It was a wonderful, marvelous, magnificently erotic night. Rukia could recall nothing in her entire life that came close to it. Ichigo wrapped her up in a blanket of tenderness and passion that shut out the entire world. She could not remember police work. She could not remember Karakura. She could not remember fear.
The terrible snowstorm had ended in the night.
It was not until they left the hotel about noon the next day that she came face-to-face with reality again.
As Ichigo walked her down to her BMW, his arm possessively draped around her waist, he asked casually, "Should I meet you at our new house? Or do you want to stop by home and break the news to Aunt Yoruichi and Uncle Kisuke first? Remember, I have to go on duty at four o'clock."
Rukia didn't answer him at once. She had told herself that she would call Commander Zaraki right after the ceremony, but she hadn't been able to think of anything but Ichigo since then; she still felt like cookie dough in his hands. He'd even convinced her to put on her wedding dress again so he could admire her in it over a casual lunch. Now she said slowly, "I meant to call Zaraki before I told anybody else."
"There's no reason you can't call him from here. Or from Uraharas'."
"Well, no, I gues not."
He studied her quietly for a moment. "I think we should make this announcement together. If it's just up to you, it's like...you're the queen bee and I'm one of the drones."
Rukia flushed. "Hardly that, Ichigo. Although if I ever decide to have a baby, I'll be glad to have such a skilled worker bee to help me in that endeavor."
"If 'we' ever decide to have a baby," he corrected her. "And I hope it's a decision we'll make someday."
It was a small reprimand, but Rukia knew he was reminding her that she might be his boss on the job, but he'd never tolerate a secondary role in her private life. She understood his position, but it still made her uneasy.
She was more uneasy still when he said firmly, "If you want to call the commander before we make an announcement in Karakura, that's fine with me, Ru, but I want you to do it today." His voice was calm, but he was still giving her an order.
An order he could never have given his superior officer until today.
Rukia took a deep breath. She wanted to fight him, but she knew he was right. "Okay, Ichigo."
His face seemed to relax a bit. "My Captain's put me on duty till midnight," he reminded her, "But when I'm done I'm coming home to my wife."
Her eyes met his. She could almost feel him reaching for her once more. She could also hear Commander Zaraki say, "You married the man I sent you to investigate?! Just like a woman!"
"I'll go try to reach him now, Ichigo. You better get on back. You know how your cranky boss berates you when you're late."
He gave her a dimpled grin, then kissed her lovingly and lazily. For a minute everything seemed to be okay.
"See you at midnight, Captain," he whispered in her ear, "And then we'll see who's boss."
The next kiss lasted so long that Rukia almost forgot they were standing in a freezing public parking lot.
The memory of that kiss kept up her courage when she found a phone and called the commander, who was gone for the weekend. Rukia wasn't sure whether to be angry or relieved. It was great that she didn't have to face him. But it wouldn't be easy to face Ichigo.
Should she stall announcing their marriage until Monday, when she could talk to Zaraki? Or should she call back and leave a message now? Even drive by his office and leave a note? Or was she merely looking for excuses to postpone the inevitable? When she thought about telling anyone in the police world that she'd gotten married, her blood turned cold. But when she was with Ichigo, there was only... Ichigo.
After a few weeks or months or years under his spell, she wondered, would there be any Rukia left at all?
Rukia's uneasiness began to grow and spread roots as she drove back toward Karakura a good two hours later, after shopping for some household essentials in Seireitei. As she reached the outskirts of Karakura, she listened for trouble on her scanner. At first everything sounded routine, but suddenly Omaeda's excited voice reported a robbery in progress.
Instinctively Rukia picked up speed, listening to Nanao exchange data over the radio with Hisagi and Omaeda. It was the van again. The same damn pair of crooks! She listened to the cars going out. Kira and Iba. Madarame and Ayasegawa backing them up.
And then, a few minutes later, Nanao reported to Omaeda that Sergeant Abarai and Lieutenant Kurosaki were on the way.
It was at that moment that Rukia began to feel worried. It was always a big event when a whole Karakura shift converged on a pair of suspects. She wanted to join her men, to back them up, to take charge as Captain, even though she knew Ichigo could handle everything. But she was still a good fifteen minutes away.
Fifteen minutes away from the men under her command. Fifteen minutes away from her husband. By the time she got there, it would be all over. There was nothing she could do to help her fellow officers. Nothing she could do to help Ichigo. She felt helpless, impotent, gripped with a brand of disquietude she'd never known before.
Rukia knew she'd never get there in time to help, but she flattened her accelerator anyway, desperately wishing she was driving a cruiser with a siren and a lot more horsepower.
Suddenly Omaeda hollered, "Send an ambulance! Send an ambulance now!"
Somebody had been shot! she realized in paralyzing panic. A vision of her father flashed before her, followed by the memory of the night she'd nearly lost Kaien. She didn't want Omaeda to be injured, or Renji or Hisagi or any of the other men. But if Ichigo... Ichigo... Ichigo...
Rukia's mind short-circuited. Then all her senses simply shut down.
AN
Cliffhanger! I promise I won't make you wait so long again. And I'm sorry for you smut lovers if it wasn't dirty enough but I like tasteful scenes like that. Anyway, don't just sit there! Review, review! And keep a look out for the new No Escape chapter coming out soon!