AN
You might not see why at first, but this is hands-down my favorite chapter so far. I've been planning one of these scenes since day one! As always, enjoy!
Disclaimer-I own nothing.
Chapter Fourteen
The men spread out and covered the downtown district where the two punks had been spotted, but a good ten minutes passed before Ichigo flushed them out in the open. He chased them for a block and a half, his fingers wrapped tightly around the butt of his gun as he ordered them to stop.
But he was a guard, not a quarterback, and they were too fast for him. One feinted to the left while he fired at the one that slipped right. In the blink of an eye they'd both disappeared into an empty warehouse. In his haste to catch up with them, Ichigo tripped over an old shovel and fell with a crash that pinpointed his exact location and left his shoulder bloody from a gash. It was a superficial flesh wound that bled profusely, but he was too angry to feel much pain.
By the time he reached the alley in back of the warehouse, the van was squealing away.
"Dammit!" Ichigo swore to himself, adding a few unsavory epithets he figured a man in his situation was entitled to. How many times were these damn punks going to raid Karakura and get away with it? He'd launched into this mess without time to review last night's log completely, but he knew they'd hit an empty tourist cabin while he'd been honeymooning with Rukia. Granted, she'd left her hotel phone number with Renji just in case anybody needed her, but he knew she felt a little guilty-as he did-at being out of town overnight.
He didn't have time to worry about Rukia as he headed back to the squad car at a jog. He'd seen Shuhei clutch his elbow as he went down, but he wasn't at all sure that an arm wound was his only injury. Uryu had been shot in the arm, too. He'd also been shot right through the chest.
Ichigo was gasping for breath as he rounded the corner, trying to rub out a stitch in his side. An ambulance was just pulling in, siren crying. Two more cruisers had arrived.
So had Rukia's BMW.
The other men looked grave and worried, but it was obvious that they knew the worst was over. It was Rukia, who bolted toward him with the speed of a gazelle despite her heels and lacy dress, who looked like the worst was yet to come.
He'd only seen that look on her face once before- when he'd shown up so late at the courthouse. He remembered those long and awkward hours after that, before Rukia had broken down and told him how afraid she was of losing him... to his indifference or to some criminal's bullet. Now he saw that fear again. When her gaze fell on his bloody shoulder, all strength seemed to leave her.
"Get a stretcher over here!" she shouted at the attendants. "This man is injured!"
Ichigo shook his head, trying to calm her down. "It's nothing, Rukia," he called out. "Just a scratch. And not even from a bullet."
She didn't seem to hear him. She was still running toward him, her gaze riveted on his shoulder.
"Is it your arm? Your chest? Can you breathe alright?" Deftly she fitted under his arm to help him walk, oblivious to the fact that he was doing just fine on his own steam. "Don't try to talk, just-"
"Rukia, I'm alright," he explained again. "I just tripped over a shovel. Don't make a big deal of it, all right?"
Beneath his arm, he could feel her shaking. "A shovel?" she said numbly, as though it were a foreign word.
Ichigo stepped away from her, embarrassed at the fuss she was making. He didn't want any of the men to think he was falling apart over a little flesh wound.
"Are you sure? You're not just being proud? You're not-"
"Captain!" he snapped, almost past embarrassment now. "I'm all right! Now call off the paramedics and get yourself together!"
It was the order a lieutenant gives to his men. But Rukia wasn't one of Ichigo's men; she was his woman. She was also his superior officer.
A superior officer who was so distraught with fear for his safety that she seemed incapable of making intelligent decisions.
It seemed to take an awfully long time for Rukia to pull back and look into his face. "You fell over a shovel? You're not shot? You're going to be all right?"
"Yes." His voice was stony now. He was going to be just fine. But he was no longer sure he could say the same for Captain Kuchiki.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Rukia went back to the station house after things settled down and the paramedics hustled Hisagi off to the emergency room at the hospital. The bullet was lodged in his arm but hadn't shattered any bones. Lisa's husband, Love Aikawa, had assured them that it wouldn't take long for Hisagi to be as good as new.
Love had also given Ichigo a tetanus shot and cleaned out his gash, which hadn't even required stitches. Rukia felt red-faced every time she thought of how she'd fussed over him. Worse yet, she was worried about that brief paralytic moment in the car when she'd first supsected that he was the man who'd been injured.
It was only for a moment, but she knew she'd panicked like a civilian. Ichigo-not her husband, but the judgmental Lieutenant Kurosaki she'd met when she'd first come to town-would have said she'd panicked like a female. She didn't want to believe that she would have indulged her fears if she'd been called to perform in the line of duty, but she couldn't rule out the possibility either. Ever since she'd fallen in love with Ichigo she'd felt increasingly unsure of herself, like a child trying to run through deep sand. Ichigo certainly hadn't needed to reprimand her, though. She hadn't been behaving that badly.
The instant he reached her office an hour later, Rukia knew he didn't see it quite that way.
The man she'd made love to the night before had vanished. It was Lieutenant Kurosaki, the man whose job she'd 'stolen' who marched into the room.
He closed the door without asking permission to speak to her. He filled the space across from her desk.
"Rukia, you lost it," he said bluntly. "You lost it altogether out there."
She met his eyes with all the strength she could muster. "I was afraid for my husband. You were doubled over and covered with blood."
"I told you I wasn't hurt. I told you three damn times before I could get you to listen."
"My adrenaline was talking louder than you were."
"Rukia, you were in the middle of a police crisis. You reacted like a woman, not like the leader of men."
Slowly she stood up, belatedly hearing the terrible tension underlying Ichigo's dark calm. It had been a long time since he'd criticized her position. He didn't sound angry; she couldn't tell him to cool down. He sounded profoundly concerned and disheartened.
"I arrived after the crisis was over. The only thing I could do was respond to an injured warrior, a man I promised to love forever."
He studied the desk, his eyes refusing to meet hers. Fresh fear bloomed within her. A new kind of fear.
"Rukia, you were lucky we were out of earshot of the other men. If they'd seen you crack up like that, if they knew you'd lost control-"
"They'd think I was human. Aren't you the one who's always telling me to admit my true feelings and not act like a robot? Besides, what man in my position wouldn't have felt a moment's panic if he found his wife covered with blood."
Now his eyes met hers. "He would have hidden it better."
Her calm exterior cracked. "That's bullshit and you know it! On zero hours of sleep in the middle of his honeymoon? For shit's sake, Ichigo, this isn't exactly an ordinary workday for me! I'm tense. I'm upset. I'm exhausted!"
"Sometimes cops are frazzled on the job, Rukia. But they can't afford to lose their marbles."
She straightened, wishing desperately that she was wearing something other than this delicate lacy dress that reminded them both of how totally she'd submited to his strength the night before. It made her feel like the most feminine of creatures, not like a tough cop.
"I had a moment's panic when there was nothing I could do to help. Half of my frustration was because I was so far away when I first heard the officer-assist call that I knew I'd never reach the scene in time to help anyone."
"To help me," he said coldly. "You didn't give a damn about the other men."
"That's not true!" she flared. "I cared about all of them. You know how strongly I reacted the night you told me Omaeda was injured, and I considered him the weakest man on this force! Oh, I won't deny that I was more afraid for you than for the others, but what officer doesn't have people he cherishes more than others?"
"Shuhei was shot tonight. You ran straight to me."
"Shuhei had three officers and two paramedics fussing over him when I got there. You were all alone."
"I wasn't hurt!"
"I didn't know that!" Suddenly she stopped, realizing that they were hollering at eech other. What had happened since they'd kissed goodbye in Seireitei? It had been only a few hours ago. This wasn't a scrap that occurred just because two people were tired and edgy. Something was troubling Ichigo deeply. Remembering his patience with her withdrawn behavior the night before, she tried to return the favor.
"Ichigo, why don't you sit down and tell me why you're really so upset. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but-"
"Embarrassed me? You think that's what this is all about?"
Honestly, she said, "I think that's part of it. What cop wants his buddies to know he let two suspects escape because he tripped over a shovel?"
"Rukia, this is far more serious than that."
She disagreed; she really thought the odd collection of circumstances had contributed to making Ichigo so upset. He hadn't had a lick of sleep, either; he was hardly at his best. If he'd just been her lieutenant, she would have told him he was out of line and tossed him out of her office. But he was her husband, and she owed him more than that.
"I'm listening," she said stoutly.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ru. I'm really... very sorry."
It wasn't an apology, at least not for anything he'd already said. There was another reason for those words, and whatever it was, the somber tone of his voice put Rukia on edge.
"I don't-" he seemed to choke on the words "-think I can forget this, Rukia. If you'd given me an order out there-captain to lieutenant-I don't think I could have obeyed you in good conscience. I would have given my own commands based on the needs of the men."
Her skin began to crawl. "I don't think I follow you."
He tried to meet her eyes and failed. "I told you once before that I wouldn't stab you in the back, Rukia. I gave you a chance to prove yourself. In a lot of ways, you're a splendid officer. I know there's a place for you in the system... out of the line of fire in administration." At last he met her eyes. "But you're not cut out to run a substation. You don't have the hard edge you need to lead and protect this group of men."
Rukia was struck dumb.
"You made your own report to Commander Zaraki based on your vision of me as an officer," Ichigo continued darkly. "I understood. Now I'm asking you to understand that I have to let him know what I think, too." His eyes looked flat and hopeless, almost sick with grief. "Uryu's memory won't let me turn away from this, Ru. I have to tell Zaraki I don't think you're fit to command."
At last she found her voice-a thin, reedy version of her regular voice, but the voice of Rukia Kuchiki nonetheless. "You don't think I'm fit to command? Based on the honest expression of my fear that you were mortally injured?"
"It's more than that," he said, his voice low and aching now. "Last night, I just wanted to be supportive. I wanted everything to be all right between us. I wanted-"
"You wanted to get me into bed!"
Ichigo recoiled as though she'd hit him, but still he pressed on. "Dammit, Rukia, when you were telling me that you'd lost yourself, that you were too wound up in me to think, I was... honored. As a man. I wanted you to be so crazy in love with me that you were off base. I didn't want you to be unhappy, but... having you feel so helpless made me feel like a stronger man." He ran one hand through his unruly orange hair. "Now I'm hearing those words again as a police officer under your direction. It's not good."
A deep, volcanic anger was growing inside Rukia now. Her worst fears had tracked her down, converged upon her in this moment. And Rukia Kuchiki was a fighter. When she was cornered, she came out fighting.
"I didn't share my innermost feelings with Lieutenant Kurosaki. I shared them with my husband!"
"Rukia, I know that. And I'm not going to repeat them to-"
"How dare you judge my performance in this office by my performance in bed! How dare you use our marriage as an excuse to justify every prejudice you've ever harbored against women cops! How dare you assume that because I bared my soul to you in one or two shaky moments I won't be there for my men when the chips are down and we're dodging bullets!"
"Rukia, we were dodging bullets! We were counting on each other. We sure as hell weren't counting on you!"
"That's not my fault! If I'd been ten miles closer, I would have gotten there in time to help, and I would have pulled my weight, Ichigo Kurosaki! How dare you assume otherwise just because I wasn't thrilled to see you bleeding!"
"Rukia, it's over!" He leaned forward, jamming both heavy fists down on her desk. "You gave it your best shot. Your dad would be proud. But you can't keep pretending that you can do this job. You've been lucky so far. But how are you going to feel if somebody dies because of you?"
She faced him coolly. "I couldn't possibly feel as guilty as you would. If you're honest with yourself, you'll admit that the main reason you're so afraid to trust me is because you still blame yourself for what happened to Uryu."
"I can't trust you because I know how soft you really are, Rukia! It makes you a wonderful woman and a wonderful wife. But it also makes you an inadequate cop."
Rukia shook her head, too deeply hurt for anger now. "The woman you married-isn't a helpless female, Ichigo. In bed she may be sweet and passionate, but on the streets, she'll always be a police officer as tough as they come." Suddenly, for the first time in twenty-four hours, Rukia felt tough again. Ichigo's words had hit her in the face like a bucket full of ice. The bridal hysteria had vanished. Once again she was a police captain who would unhesitatingly do what must be done.
"I knew it would be a challenge for you to live with my two roles, Ichigo, but I thought-I convinced myself-that you were a big enough man to cope with it." Despite Rukia's unwavering resolution, it wasn't easy to utter the next horrible words, and for Ichigo's sake, she said them softly. "Deep down inside, I always knew it was a mistake to marry you."
"No, Ru!" His voice was hoarse and low. "I don't need a captain for a wife. All I want is you. No matter what profession you choose or-"
"You don't get it, do you, Ichigo? You can't report me as a washout to the commander and expect me to be your wife! Nobody knows yet, and as rushed as that slapdash ceremony was, we've probably got grounds for annulment without all the hassle of divorce. Besides-"
"No, Rukia, no!" The pain in his voice was ripped from his soul. "You know you'd do the same thing in my place! I can't turn my back on what I believe is right! You wouldn't want me to."
Slowly, sadly, she shook her head. "No, I wouldn't want you to."
A moment of hope lit his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. "Then you can forgive me? You'll forgive me in time?"
Rukia tugged at her lacy sleeve, wishing she could throw the dress in the trash. Why had she violated all her instincts and given herself to this compelling man? She'd known right from the start that loving him would devastate her. "Ichigo, don't you see? It doesn't matter whether I forgive you or not, or even whether Commander Zaraki takes any action on your complaint." She was too full of despair to be angry. Not since her father's death had she felt so totally devoid of hope. "I can't live with a man who doesn't have any faith in me without losing faith in myself. If I ever grow to believe that I failed here-that you're right, that I'm a coward, that I'm not fit to be captain of these men-then there won't be any Rukia Kuchiki, Ichigo. There won't be any me left to be your wife."
Ichigo lifted one hand beseechingly, but he couldn't seem to speak. Rukia had never seen him look so bowed by sorrow.
For a long, terrible moment Rukia just stood there, knowing it was over, but too sad to say goodbye. It wasn't the first time a male colleague had tried to ax her career by reporting her to somebody up the line and she didn't think it would be the last. But Rukia had always gotten over it before. This was different. Ichigo's betrayal would haunt her for the rest of her life.
She was about to ask him to leave her office when the door burst open and Nanao cried out, "It's another officer-in-need-of-asistance call! Renji spotted that van on his way home and chased it out to the lake. He's going to end up out there all alone! Omaeda's still at the hospital with Shuhei, and I can't raise Madarame or Kira-"
"Kurosaki! You're with me!" Rukia snapped as she grabbed her gun from her purse and bolted out the door.
Ichigo didn't hesitate for even a second. Instinctively he responded to the voice of command.
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As Ichigo raced Rukia to the cruiser, he didn't have time to think. He'd exchanged gunfire up close with the two punks, and he knew they were ruthless-cornered as well. Without some help, Renji didn't have a chance. Even with help...
Desperately he hoped they could reach him in time.
Rukia got into the car first and jumped into the driver's seat before Ichigo could stop her. Rukia had driven with him in the cruiser before, but never, in all the time he'd known her, had they ever rushed to a scene together with the certain knowledge that they were going into danger.
Going into danger with their future utterly haywire. Going into danger when Rukia might take foolish chances to prove her courage to him.
Ichigo wanted to warn her not to be stupid. He wanted to tell her to go home. But those were the things he longed to say to his wife, not his captain. And he wasn't sure if the woman carrying the .38 Smith and Wesson still belonged to him. All he was sure of was that-for the moment-she outranked him.
They roared into the parking lot by the spot near the lake with the siren wailing, bolting out of the cruiser the moment it came to a stop. Ichigo heard a gunshot off toward a clearing. Then he heard a body hit the ground.
He ran full out toward the gunfire, with Rukia right behind him. He took a position to the right of a building; Rukia turned off to the left. Ahead of him he could hear popping sounds. Shots. Then Ichigo nearly tripped over a man lying on the ground.
It was one of the punks he'd chased that afternoon. He looked dead. His chest was bloody. He certainly wasn't moving. Ichigo forgot him an instant later when the other punk bolted through the narrow space between his position and Rukia's.
"Hold it right there!" Ichigo hollered, firing a warning shot. "You're under arrest."
When the man froze and dropped his gun, Ichigo felt a keen relief that all but drained him. It was always great to know he'd caught the criminal, great to know he'd escaped with his life. But he'd never felt almost giddy with relief before. Only now that it was over could he allow himself to realize how terrified he'd been that Rukia would be injured.
Quickly he crossed the narrow walkway, pulling his handcuffs from his belt. "Turn around and put your hands behind you," he ordered. "You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to remain silent. Anything-"
"I have the right to shoot you in the back, you dumb fuck," growled a dark, ugly voice from the ground behind him. "So why don't you put down that piece real slow."
Ichigo's heart hammered into overdrive. How could he have been so careless? The man on the ground had looked dead-certainly harmless-but obviously he was still alive and kicking. Did he have a gun? Did he know Rukia was out there, or did he think the gunshots from the left had come from another uniformed cop? Why was Renji still so silent? Had he been shot, too?
Ichigo heard the pistol's hammer cock, inches from his ankle. "Drop the gun, shithead!"
Slowly, he did as he was told. There was a chance- a slight chance-that they wouldn't kill him. They were break-and-enter punks, not professional killers. They could still take their loot and run.
As he made a mental calculation of Rukia's whereabouts, Ichigo realized that she could not get the drop on the punk without revealing her location prematurely. He didn't want her to risk helping him, anyway. All he wanted her to do was stay out of sight. If she slipped back to the cruiser and drove off or called for help, she might still get out of this alive.
If only this had happened an hour ago, when she could have lived with the memory of their one marvelous night together! Ichigo didn't want to die without telling her he loved her. He didn't want her last memory of him to be that terrible fight.
The punk he'd been about to handcuff turned around and glared at him smugly. "Well, well, the tables are turned now, aren't they?" He grabbed Ichigo's gun from the pavement. "You want to shoot him, Grimmjow, or should I?"
"You do it, Noitora," said the bleeding man on the ground gasping for air. "I got to shoot the other one."
Ichigo's last hope died in that instant. He prepared to face his end like a man.
And then, incredibly, he heard a frail female voice call out, "Oh, Ichi! Where are you? I heard all those nasty bullets and then-"
Ichigo turned sharply, sickened and stunned, as Rukia came sashaying into view. In her lacy dress and heels, she looked sweet and feminine and utterly helpless. Had she completely lost her senses? The punks hadn't known she was back there. She could have escaped! He'd thought she was safely out of harm's way by now!
"Get over here, bitch," the first man said, grabbing Rukia roughly around the waist. The gun that had been aimed at Ichigo now was pressed against her temple.
"Looks like we're going to have a party. Do you think we should kill him first, or make him watch and wait?"
Ichigo was so full of dread for Rukia that he could hardly think. There had to be a way to save her! He knew he could disarm the injured guy on the ground, but not before the other one shot Rukia. He had never been so willing to die, so willing to risk anything at all to save another person. But his love for his wife paralyzed him. No miraculous escape plan leaped to mind.
Desperately Ichigo met Rukia's eyes, longing to give her comfort. At the very least, he had to let her know he loved her. He had to say goodbye.
But the moment he glanced at Rukia, Ichigo realized that she had a completely different agenda in mind. Her eyes held not a glimpse of surrender or regret. Trust me, damn you! they seemingly ordered, glittering with careful calculation.
Ichigo was overwhelmed. While he'd been writhing in helpless panic, Rukia had done what he'd been unable to do-set a plan in motion! She hadn't been able to draw a gun in her position, so she'd darted in to save him armed only with her bare hands. She'd called him Ichi, for shit's sake! What an obvious clue!
Despite the delicate dress and heels, Captain Kuchiki was joining him in battle. His wife might be sweet and harmless, but suddenly Ichigo realized that his captain was still competent and shrewd.
"Ooh, what happened to that poor man on the ground?" Rukia simpered, her eyes still on Ichigo. Then-ever so quickly-her glance fell toward the pavement. A moment later she bent forward as though to look at the unfortunate fellow, and Ichigo went into action.
He could not have explained to anyone how he knew what Rukia was going to do in that instant. He didn't have time to think it through, to remember her past or the tiny details of her history. He did not know whether it was his captain or his woman that he trusted so completely, but he knew instinctively-without doubt or hesitation-that he could count on her to disable the punk who thought he held her in an unbreakable grip. And he knew that she was counting on him to disarm the other one.
The next two seconds went like clockwork. Ichigo couldn't see Rukia as he whirled on the prone man with the gun, already injured and taken by surprise. Ichigo had him pinned in an instant. By then he heard the sound he'd been subconsciously waiting for. The thump of a big male body hitting the dirt.
Rukia had maneuvered into her favorite self-defense position and flipped the man right over onto his back. When Ichigo glanced up at her, she was standing above the stunned crook, pointing his own gun at his head.
She looked like an angel but she sounded tougher than any man he'd ever known when she ordered, "Don't move a millimeter. Touch me again and you're going to lose a vital portion of your anatomy."
No words ever sounded sweeter to Ichigo's ears. Captain Kuchiki was back on duty! Rukia had reclaimed her soul.
He was terribly afraid that it might be too late to reclaim her love for him, but he would sleep a thousand times better knowing he hadn't caused her to lose herself. How could he have misjudged her so completely? Had his own wedding passion blurred his common sense?
Was that why he'd blundered into this situation in the first place? Had he done precisely what he'd accused Rukia of doing-losing his grip when faced with the possibility of losing his beloved wife?
Rukia rolled the punk over, handcuffed and frisked him while Ichigo did the same to the other one. "Where's the other cop?" she demanded, without so much as a glance in Ichigo's direction. "You want to live, you tell me now. I won't ask again." She didn't sound a bit like the fragile jewel who'd wept in his arms last night.
The bewildered criminal croaked, "He went down over there." He jabbed an elbow toward the main pathway leading toward the lake. "Grimmjow punched him out."
"Renji!" Rukia called, poking her gun into the man's neck. "Are you conscious? Are you all right?"
Deep concern colored her voice... the proper concern of a captain for all of her men.
Then Ichigo heard Renji call out, "I'm all right, Captain Kuchiki. Dizzy and winded, but I'm not hit."
Ichigo felt a sudden wash of feeling so powerful he was hard-pressed to contain it. He was thrilled to hear Renji's voice, thrilled to see Rukia safe, and thrilled to be alive. But it was more than that. He was... dammit, he was humbled. He was impressed. He was damn proud to be part of the Karakura substation that rose to the call of such a leader.
A leader of men.
Renji wobbled around the corner, belatedly brandishing his gun. The rueful look on his face made Ichigo wonder how long he'd really been out. Renji seemed to be avoiding his eyes. Was it possible that he'd had a moment of panic after he came to? Had he decided to lie low when things looked so grim... cowering while Rukia had used a uniquely feminine tactic in order to save Ichigo's life?
Suddenly Ichigo was sure that was what had happened. But he couldn't hold it against Renji. He was a man who'd been there for Ichigo a dozen times. So he had feet of clay. He was human. A shaky moment could be forgiven between men.
In a wash of understanding, Ichigo realized that Rukia had been right all along. He never had given her a fair chance as a captain, not really. She had started out with two strikes against her. If she'd been a man, he would have given her the benefit of the doubt during her rough patch.
The man Rukia had flipped on his back was now looking pitifully at Ichigo. "Don't let her shoot me," he pleaded. "I didn't know she was a killer cop. I thought she was just a woman!"
"Are you kidding me?" Ichigo warned with all the ferocity he could muster. "She's a black widow. Eats douches like you for breakfast. You think they'd put a woman in charge of the Karakura substation if she wasn't twice as tough as any of the men?"
Following Ichigo's cue, Renji chimed in, "You don't mess with Captain Killer. You don't mess with our Captain K!" A fresh wave of tenderness swept over Ichigo. How Rukia had longed for a nickname that spoke of the men's respect and affection! By morning every man on the force would know about the innovative courage she'd displayed tonight. Every man would know that 'Captain Killer' had saved Ichigo's life with her own bare hands while those punks had rendered him and Renji helpless.
Thank God none of them would know that Ichigo had gotten his soft, sensual wife mixed up with his captain earlier today and almost blackened this splendid police officer's fine career. At least he hadn't ruined her self-confidence. She was strong enough to survive any challenge life threw at her. She'd sure as hell proved it today.
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Rukia loaded the two men in the cruiser by herself, leaving Ichigo with little to do but crawl in the front of the car to sit rather sheepishlly beside her. For the first mile or so she was busy cracking commands over the police radio, but when silence finally enveloped the car, Ichigo found himself desperately longing to beg for her forgiveness.
It wasn't until they'd reached the station and jailed the suspects that Ichigo dared to approach her. He entered her office and found her sitting behind her desk in her raggedy wedding dress, looking more beautiful, more distant and more angry than he'd ever seen her before.
"Rukia?" he began softly, struggling to face her. He didn't know what to say to her. He couldn't imagine what words would be powerful enough to win her back, but somehow he had to find them. He was willing to do anything. He was willing to beg.
"This afternoon I said some things... jumped to some conclusions..." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorrier than you can ever know, Ru. And more grateful. You saved my life today."
Rukia glared at him with about as much warmth as she'd glared at the two punks. "You blew it out there, Lieutenant. You let your personal concerns interfere with your professional judgement. It's inconceivable to me that an experienced officer could turn his back on a suspect just because he was on the ground."
Ichigo took a deep breath. He wasn't talking to his wife. This was hard-nosed Captain Kuchiki he was facing. Would she write him up? Report him to Zaraki? Get back at him for what, an hour ago, he'd threatened to do?
"I'm human," he said simply. "You are, too."
Her eyes were cold. "My personal strengths and weaknesses are none of your concern, Lieutenant. If you feel that my performance is inadequate and you wish to lodge a complaint, that is your buiness, but you do it on your own time."
Ichigo found himself staring down at his hands. He'd never felt so helpless, so stupid, so lost. "Rukia, I was wrong. You want to hear me say it again?" Bravely he faced her once more. "I'm groveling here, okay? I'm on my knees. I made a terrible mistake today-and I don't just mean out there at the lake. I know I wouldn't have judged you so harshly if you'd been a man who had a weak moment, and I wouldn't have been so afraid for you if you weren't my wife. I'm sorry. I'm a creep." He took a step closer, aching to touch her face and terrified that it was a liberty she'd never allow him again. "But I love you, dammit. Please don't ax me out of you're life?"
Rukia responded to his impassioned plea by picking up the phone. "I have to call the hospital and check on Hisagi, Lieutenant," she informed him coolly. "You have a report to write."
Ichigo felt sick. Desperate. There had to be a way! He couldn't just let her turn her back on him. Now that he'd known Rukia Kuchiki's love, he knew he could never live without it.
"Bunnyhead, please! I'm begging you..."
She didn't tell him to leave again. She simply ignored him and started speaking into the phone.
Battling a wave of nausea, Ichigo turned to leave her office. He felt shell-shocked as he groped for the door, moved by instinct to his own desk. He tried to focus on his paperwork; he tried to feign interest in the celebratory noise in the squad room. Iba and Kotsubaki, roused by all the news on the scanner, had drifted in from home. Renji was regaling them with the story of Captain Killer's dramatic performance, embellishing the tale along the way. Nanao interrupted twice to remind Renji that the captain had praised her levelheaded dispatching throughout the tense afternoon.
Nobody seemed to notice that Ichigo wasn't talking, and for that he was glad. He couldn't bear to let his friends know what he'd been through today. How high his expectations had been at sunrise! How they'd plummeted with the fall of night! He'd been so certain that today Rukia would announce their marriage and tell the world she was proud to be his wife.
Now Ichigo was going to be the man who'd been her husband for a single night. And out of deference to the woman he would cheerfully have died for, he could never tell a soul.
An anguished hour passed before he suddenly felt a familiar hand on the back of his neck, a hand that was gentle yet strong and curiously possessive. He caught a whiff of the vanilla scent of the woman he loved.
"Don't bother to dot your i's and cross your t's, Lieutenant," Rukia ordered in a sultry voice Ichigo remembered from last night. "It's your honeymoon, after all, and it would be bad form to make your bride wait up for you tonight."
The office went dead still. Nobody moved; nobody breathed. Ichigo thought he must have died because his heart had simply stopped beating.
Slowly, with desperate hope raging in his heart, he turned to face his woman. Had a miracle occurred? Was there any chance-any chance at all-that now that she'd had time to cool off she might be able to forgive him? Was it possible she was announcing their marriage right here and now, so sure of herself and of his newborn understanding that she knew he would never question her strength on the job again?
When their eyes met, Rukia smiled, a magnificent smile that promised Ichigo every dream he'd ever longed for. Her beautiful face was full of love and hope and forgiveness... for all the ways they'd hurt each other and all the ways they might accidentally hurt each other again. On Monday she'd told Ichigo she had enough love for him to last for 160 years of marriage. How could he have doubted that she had enough to get through the first terrible day?
Rukia looked around the squad room, proudly facing her people one by one. She waited until their shocked expressions turned to stunned but happy grins, then took Ichigo's hand and purred, "It's been a long day, my husband. Let's go home."
Ichigo smiled like a fool on cloud nine as he laced their fingers together and replied, "As you wish, my wife." He stood up and embraced her tightly to the cheers of their men, and then let the noise fade into the background as he captured her lips with his for a fate-sealing kiss.
AN
Don't panic! The story's not done yet. There's still some loose ends I have to tie up so there will be an epilogue. Anyway, review!