Never Be Mine

By: Michelle Rose Landau

Summary: The only way she'll notice me, the only way I'll know she's interested either way, is if I just talk to her...Love, sex, marriage, and family in 12.

Genre: Romance/AU; there's still Hunger Games, but Katniss and Peeta won't be Tributes.

Pairing(s)/Characters: eventual Peeta/Katniss, Gale/Katniss, Gale/Madge, OC/Tributes

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games series. They are the sole creative property of Suzanne Collins.

A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows! They are much appreciated. Enjoy.

~five~

I like the controlled chaos of Zulee-Mae's house in the evenings. Her brother Cane, who's nine, and her sister Leenie, who's four, are running up and down the hallway upstairs. Cane is chasing Leenie with a toy sword screeching like a banshee, and of course, Leenie is screaming in that high note only toddlers can achieve.

It's a scene right out of my most pleasant dreams. Wife. House. Kids. When I think about what my future could be like if I manage to age out of the Reaping, I think of myself as a husband and father. I see myself still working at the bakery with Dad, Mom, and my brothers, then getting home just in time to kiss my wife and greet my kids as they come home from school. I see myself enjoying every minute of my children's lives and preparing myself for the grief of possibly losing one or more of them to the Hunger Games. I see myself living a fairly good life, and perhaps eventually, a life without the Hunger Games.

It's sobering.

I turn my attention back to my painting.

"It's bedtime guys," Zulee-Mae says, picking Leenie up when she runs into her arms.

Mrs. Holdren comes upstairs with two glasses of milk for the little kids.

"Did they brush their teeth?"

"Yeah," Zulee-Mae says.

"Do you and Peeta want anything?"

"No, we're fine," Zulee-Mae assures.

I'm so engrossed in what I'm painting, that I barely notice when Zulee-Mae closes the door to her room and ask a question.

I'm only pulled away by her lips against my cheek.

"Did you hear me?" She asks softly.

"Sorry," I say. "What'd you say?"

"Are you almost finished?" She asks as she sits at her sewing machine.

"Um...almost," I say, looking at my work. "I just have some little details..."

She comes over and looks at it.

"I like it," she smiles.

I painted The Square alive with the Festival.

"Thanks," I say appreciatively.

"I like the lighting you did under the tent. It looks so real. I can't wait for the Festival."

"Neither can I," I say. "But it looks like I'll be working the booth with my parents during the dance right now."

Zulee-Mae frowns slightly. "Can't you convince your dad?"

"Probably," I shrug as I mix a couple of colors. "But...he talks to her...it's...my parents have a strange relationship."

"What does your Dad see in her?"

I shake my head with a chuckle. "Your guess is as good as mine, Zulee."

She looks at me.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I shouldn't talk about your parents that way."

"It's okay," I assure her.

"Does...does your mom...does she hurt you?"

I stop painting and look up at her.

I'm not angry that she asked that, I just don't want to talk about it.

Instead, I decide to change the subject.

"What time is it?" I ask.

Zulee holds my gaze, then she looks at her clock.

"It's a quarter to nine."

"I should get going," I say as I begin to pack up my things.

Just as I'm getting up, Zulee's father opens the door.

"Time to go home, Peeta."

"Yes sir," I say.

We walk to the door together, and I give her a peck on the lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she says and I nod.

"Night," I say, and she and her parents wave as I head down the street toward home.

When I arrive home, my parents are still up in the living room having coffee.

"I'm home," I call.

"Alright," Dad says. "There's some leftovers if you're feeling hungry."

"Thanks," I say as I open up the oven and take out the plate.

"Oh, so my cooking is still good enough for you," Mom huffs as she comes into the kitchen to refill her coffee. "You've been gobbling over at that Zulee girl's house."

I look up at her, unsure of how to respond.

She turns, and she grins a bit, then she musses my hair a little before returning to the living room.

I watch as she sits next to Dad, and he wraps his arm around her shoulder as she settles into him.

I find myself smiling.

A moment to keep in my heart. A happy memory made.

There's goodness in anything that's of great worth and importance to someone.

As I spend more time with Zulee, I actually do begin to push Katniss from the forefront of my mind.

I still think about her, but I have to turn it on and off when I'm around Zulee.

Zulee's a nice distraction, and I hate to admit that.

I care about her, of course, and I certainly respect her, and her family's different from mine. There's so much that I like about Zulee, and I know that we'd probably go together for a long time, if we don't turn into Tributes, and get set.

She's perfect, she's beautiful, she's everything that a guy could want in a girlfriend, in a potential wife.

But, I don't feel those feelings; I don't feel that warm, giddy feeling when I see Zulee, I don't remember little things about her, I don't feel that...want. I don't feel this deep, deep ache for her, I don't feel the stab and the spark when I look into her eyes.

It's the same story with the other girls I've gone with before: Lori Farber, Willa Tranger, Yeline Grovesby.

All beautiful, all nice Merchant girls.

It gives me both proof and frustration. Proof that I'm not crazy, that I actually am incapable of feeling the way I do about Katniss with another girl, and frustrating because even knowing this, I'm not ready to end things with Zulee.

I figure maybe, with time, I will begin to feel those things. But then I look at Zulee-Mae and see how genuinely happy she is, and I know I'm just fooling myself.

Theo finally got a hold of Kitty, and now the two of them are going together. It's pretty intense between them, and Theo is whipped, bad. He waits on her hand and foot, follows her around like a trained puppy, and listens to her every command. He is so wrapped up in her, likely in love with her.

I know already that they're set, and I'm not the only one that's thinking that.

Everyone's going together, it seems, as the festival dance gets closer.

Arden's going with Jorleny Pierce, a pretty girl with long, wavy blonde hair, very fair skin, and light blue eyes. She's sweet, kind of timid, but sharp. I can tell that Arden really likes her, and I'm happy for him.

After school, I walk Zulee-Mae home, and we kiss before she goes inside.

I meet up with Arden and we head to the bakery for work.

"Okay, I have a plan," Arden discloses to me quietly as we wash our hands in the basin.

"Plan?" I ask, confused. "Plan for what?"

"Convincing Mom to let us go to the dance," he explains.

Before I can stop it, I'm laughing. "Ha, yeah, because Mom is the type to be convinced of anything..."

I stop, and I can tell in his face that he's serious.

"Oh...you're actually going to execute this plan?"

"Yeah," Arden says. "So, you in?"

"Nope," I say as I grab my apron. "Arden, she's not going to let us go."

"That's where you're wrong," Sal says.

"What?" I ask.

"Dad wore Mom down," Sal explains. "Mom and Dad are going to work the booth. We can go to the dance."

I feel something like the purest joy course through me.

Those six words are going to change everything.