Will and Elizabeth's Married Life as Seen by Captain Jack Sparrow
Declaimer: Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true...Somewhere over the rainbow I would own Pirates of the Caribbean. Most unfortunately, this is not somewhere over the rainbow.
More New Arrivals and Names
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet..."
-Romeo and Juliet
"...whore that I am..."
-Helen of Troy, The Iliad
Six months later, Jack came again. He walked up to the Turner mansion. Will and Elizabeth had again fired their previous servant, so now a new one came to the door when Jack knocked.
"May I inquire as to your business here?" asked the servant. Jack wondered if there was another phrase they could use. This one was getting on his nerves.
"I'm here to see the Turners," Jack answered with infinite patience.
"They're having dinner now, but--" the servant began. Jack wondered, as he shoved past the servant, whether Will and Elizabeth were having dinner all day long, or if that was just at the time of his visits.
"Jack!" Will and Elizabeth exclaimed in surprise. Their twins were sitting on high stools. As Elizabeth came forward, Jack could see that they would soon have another baby, very soon, to judge by the way Elizabeth looked. Jack looked over at the twins. The girl was chewing on a napkin with great concentration. They both almost black hair, even darker than Will's.
"You're not mad about the Christmas thing, are you, Jack?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.
"No," Jack assured her. "That was funny, alright."
Elizabeth picked up her babies and brought them closer to show Jack. He tweaked Jackie's nose and tousled Jack's dark hair. Both twins clapped their hands joyfully.
"Well, they certainly recognize me as their namesake," Jack said.
The Turners and Jack had a very enjoyable evening. Jack got rather drunk and decided to stay the night. Elizabeth gave him the spare bedroom. Jack noted with displeasure that the wallpaper and bedclothes were lavender. He abhorred lavender. Making note to tell Elizabeth to try another color, he went straight to sleep. Jack slept very peacefully until about three o'clock at night. He was wakened by a low moan and the sound of anxious voices from Will and Elizabeth's room. Jack jumped out of bed, and as he didn't bother to take his clothes off the night before, ran to the Turner's room. Now, any decent person would have called through the door and asked what was wrong, not come barging into a married couple's room. But then, since when has Captain Jack Sparrow been a decent person? Well, he barged into their room, alright. He found Elizabeth lying on the bed moaning and heaving for breath. Will looked frantic.
"What's the matter?" Jack demanded.
"Elizabeth's in labor!" Will exclaimed.
"Well, if you hadn't gotten her pregnant, she might not be in labor now," Jack commented sourly, as he was not in a good or reasonable mood. He strongly disliked being woken.
"Jack!" Will exclaimed indignantly. "Can you please get a midwife?"
Eventually, Jack got the midwife and Elizabeth successfully gave birth to a girl.
In the morning came the problem of a name.
"How about Anne?" Jack suggested.
"That's a good one," Elizabeth said. "But maybe we'll think of a better one."
"Helen?" Will asked.
"I hate the legend of Helen of Troy. She was a terrible slut. But, if you want me to look at your daughter and think 'slut', go ahead."
"No! Please," Elizabeth said. "What about Amber?"
"That's ridiculous. I hate jewel names."
"Jack, this isn't your child. Besides, your ship is the Black Pearl." Elizabeth noted.
"The Pearl's a ship. There's a difference."
"I like Lily," Elizabeth said.
"I don't much like flower names," Will said. "How about Wilhelmina?"
"Who on earth is going to be able to pronounce that?" Jack demanded.
"We'd shorten it to Mina," Elizabeth said.
"But she'd still live with the terrible knowledge that she has an unpronounceable name." Jack remarked.
"Well, why not Lucy, then?" Elizabeth said.
"Did you pick the names of the main female characters in Dracula on purpose or accidentally?" Jack asked.
"You've read Dracula?" Will demanded incredulously.
"Of course I have!" Jack cried indignantly.
"I had my doubts about whether or not you were literate, to tell you the truth, Jack," Will said.
"How could you, William?" Jack said, looking deeply hurt.
"What are you two talking about?" Elizabeth asked. "Dracula isn't supposed to be written yet."
"Oh, right," Will said. "Then let's have Susan,"
"No!" Jack cried. "I hate Black-Eyed Susans!"
"So you would hate our daughter if we named her Susan?" Will asked, looking over at the undoubtedly black-eyed girl.
"Did you have a bad experience with a Susan in the past, Jack?" Elizabeth questioned.
"I was referring to the flower," Jack said.
"Oh," Will said, realizing that he and Elizabeth had been a pair of idiots.
"Wait, Jack, how on earth do you know flower names, being a pirate?"
"Well, I wasn't a pirate all my life, you know," Jack informed her.
There was a silence of about three seconds. Then Jack jumped up and cried,
"I know!"
"What?" Elizabeth asked, in some alarm.
"Joyce!"
There was another silence of about ten seconds. Then Will and Elizabeth looked at each other thoughtfully.
"I like that," Will said.
"It's perfect!" Elizabeth exclaimed, jumped up, and hugged Jack, who did not appreciate it very much.
"If you're planning to strangle me in thanks, then perhaps I'd better go," Jack said, disentangling himself from Elizabeth.
"Oh, you have to stay and celebrate!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Commodore James Norrington came in. He started back when he saw Jack. Elizabeth and Will jumped between them to stand in the way of Norrington's homicidal instincts. Or rather his piracidal instincts.
"Mr. Turner, Elizabeth," he said, rather frantically. "Please move aside. I must arrest that pirate!"
"No," Will said, standing his ground. "You won't arrest anyone in this house. Please, Commodore. We were just about to celebrate the birth of our second daughter, and you might as well join us in it. But please lay aside your differences with Jack."
"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Mr. Turner." Norrington said. "Now please move away."
"No," Elizabeth said. Norrington managed to peer around them.
"Where is he?!" Norrington demanded in a scream. Will and Elizabeth wheeled around. Jack was nowhere to be seen, but a window that had been closed a moment before was swinging open. Norrington dashed past them to the window. Jack was just seen dashing away up the street.
"I'll get you, Sparrow!" Norrington yelled, swinging one leg over the windowsill. From up the street, Will and Elizabeth heard Jack's faint cry of "Captain, Captain Sparrow!" Norrington snarled violently with fury and dove out of the window, landing with a crash on the other side. Will and Elizabeth ran up to window to see that Norrington had gotten up and was running up to street after Jack, shouting,
"I'll get you, I'll get you Sparrow, if it's the last thing I do!"
"Captain Sparrow!" came Jack's voice, growing farther away yet. Norrington's scream of rage sounded fainter than before down the street. Elizabeth covered her mouth with one hand.
"Oh dear," she giggled.
A/N: I know Dracula didn't exist back then, but that doesn't really matter, does it? Please review!