Will and Elizabeth's Married Life as Seen by Captain Jack Sparrow
Declaimer: if I owned PotC... I WOULD REWRITE THE SECOND MOVIE COMPLETELY!
Changes for the Better and the Problem of 'Captain'
"Changes ain't totally pleasant but they're excellent things"
-Anne of Avonlea
"Everybody needs a title..."
-The Sorceress of Darshiva
"Cap'n, is it? My heart, and here's promotion!"
-Treasure Island
Four months later, Captain Jack Sparrow walked up the street to the Turner's mansion. He knocked, already expecting an obnoxious, stuck-up servant. Will and Elizabeth had, as usual, fired the previous one. To Jack's intense amazement, the one that came to the door did not eye him mistrustfully, as his predecessors had done, not did he ask 'May I inquire as to your business here?', a phrase that was starting to get on Jack's nerves. Instead he bowed politely and stepped aside, saying,
"Do come in,"
Jack, too stunned to speak, moved into the hall.
"You must be Captain Jack Sparrow," the servant said. "Mr. and Mrs. Turner have talked about you a good deal. I expect you're here to see them,"
"Yes," Jack said, numbly registering that the servant had remembered the 'captain'.
"They're in the parlor," the servant said amicably.
"You mean they're not eating dinner?" Jack demanded incredulously.
"No," the servant said, slightly bewildered.
Jack walked into the parlor. Elizabeth was holding Joyce on her lap and Jack and Jackie were walking around unsteadily.
"Jack!" cried Elizabeth, Will, and Jackie at the same time. But Jackie might just have been shrieking her brother's name.
"That is one good man," Jack remarked.
"Who?" Elizabeth asked.
"Your new servant," Jack replied.
"I didn't know you admired good people, Jack," Will remarked.
"I do when they're good to me," Jack answered.
"He is a fine servant," Elizabeth said, bouncing the screaming Joyce up and down on her knee.
"So, how've you two been?" Jack asked. "I see you haven't managed to get Elizabeth pregnant again, Will."
"Jack!" Elizabeth cried indignantly. "It's been rather a mouthful around here with three children. We simply don't know what to do with them all."
"Get a dog," Jack recommended. "A big Newfoundland,"
"Why a dog?"
"Oh, they always amuse children,"
"Why a Newfoundland?"
"They're big and fluffy. And very friendly. They don't bite, as far as I know,"
"We should get one, you know, Elizabeth," Will said.
"Will. Since when have Jack's suggestions gotten us to good places?"
Everyone laughed.
"We'll get one," Elizabeth said.
"So," Jack said casually. "How's Norrington been?"
"Absolutely livid that you managed to escape, of course," Elizabeth said. "He is determined that you will never come out of this town alive again."
"You sound unconcerned for my safety," Jack remarked.
"Because we all know you'll make out just fine, Jack," Will said.
"I suppose," Jack conceded.
"How's the Pearl?" Elizabeth asked.
"Oh, we got a decent bit of plunder just a fortnight ago. Barely escaped the Spanish Royal Navy, though."
"Sounds like the usual Jack Sparrow adventure," Will remarked.
"Captain." Jack snarled. "Captain Jack Sparrow."
"Why is so important, anyway, Jack?" Elizabeth asked.
"Because if you say 'Jack Sparrow' you could be talking about any Jack Sparrow, but when you say 'Captain Jack Sparrow' everyone knows you're talking about the Captain Jack Sparrow. And I've earned quite a name for myself in the world of piracy."
"I doubt there's many people named Jack Sparrow, Jack." Will said.
"Well, yes, but there's also the thing with rank. Rank's important, whatever you say. And 'Captain' is just about the highest rank you can achieve as a pirate. If you say 'Captain' it implies that you have a ship, a crew,-"
"Things you didn't have for a long time," Elizabeth remarked.
"True enough," Jack said. "But 'Captain' still implies that I do, and some people won't bother looking farther than the 'Captain', and just give you whatever you want. It's those people me future depends on."
"I'm sure," Will said, rather confused.
"Well, I-" Jack suddenly froze. Norrington was walking up the street to the Turners. "Don't mind if I take the back exit, do you?" Jack asked, diving for the window. He stopped halfway out of it.
"And," he said, turning back. "Don't fire your servant." With that he jumped out of the window and ran up the street away from Norrington. Norrington walked in just in time to see Jack running away up the street. He froze.
"Sparrow!" he gasped. "Again! That's it! This time he's not getting away!" And with that Norrington ran out the door, calling to the guards.
"Oh no," Elizabeth said. "Jack's visits are always so short because of something or other."
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