Chapter 8

Naruto's POV

I pull away from the boy slowly; our lips drifting apart, and my hand sliding down his cheek. There was a blank look in the boys eyes, and I moved away to give him space. Then he moved to leave. Only making eye contact with me for a split second before looking down at the floor. He walks away slowly, and looks back at me once. Then his father honked the horn and Gaara looks ahead and runs to the waiting car. He gets in, and I go back into my house after watching the car drive away.

I walk into the kitchen, Jiraiya was in there. He was in his boxers, he must have just gotten up not too long ago. "So did you and your friend have fun?" He asks.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I accidentally snap at him. I hit myself over the forehead for letting that slip. It's obvious now that something's up.

My guardian lifts an eyebrow, and takes a sip of his coffee. "It's supposed to mean what it sounds like. Geeze someone's grumpy this morning."

"Yeah I woke up a little earlier then usually." I give as an excuse. "But, I had fun." I say my voice drifting away it seems like. But Jiraiy didn't seem to notice the tone, and just went on drinking his coffee. I get up and go upstairs. I go into my room, and can't help but look out the window. My mind automatically goes to the thought of Gaara.

Did I just fuck everything up? What if he thinks I'm weird—ok he already thought that – but I mean weirder and doesn't want to be around me. I take a pillow and scream into it. Why am I such an idiot? Though that kiss was the bomb! Even if I lose him as a friend, at least I got to kiss him! And what a sweet kiss it was. I start to daydream, and find myself making out with the pillow I just screamed into.

I snap myself back to reality, and take in a deep breath. I wonder what he thinks about all this. I wonder what he's thinking right now.

Gaara's POV

I touch my lips, while we're all in the car. Temari and Kankuro have come, though they usually don't. I remove my fingers from my lips and then lick them. I ….what the hell was that? Why in the world did he kiss me? It was out of nowhere too….I don't know what to think. I'm confused…why would he do something like that?

The question seemed so simple to answer, but I had no clue what the answer was. I was still in a little daze, and was more concerned with finding out if that really just happened. I look out the window deciding not to think about it, and just concentrate on other things. Which proved to be hard once we got to church. There wasn't much there to distract me. The priest went on and on about something that Jesus did, or something like that. I wasn't paying attention, I've heard these things too many times before. And trying to find out why Naruto kissed me seemed more interesting.

I touch my lips again, after mass is over. Everyone gets up and moves out of the seats. No one in my family had once said a word to each other, until we got home. Then small conversations that left me out popped up. I didn't care, I just went into my room and took out a book. I rest on my bed and have the strange feeling of being watched, I shrug it off. Though that thought lead to the memory of this morning. I put my book down and just think back. I ask myself that same easy to answer question. This time I answered it myself though , this time the idea of why came to me.

"Does he like me…as more then a friend?" I ask myself out loud stupidly.

I shake my head and try to go back to reading, but I can't. I just think of him and the strange feeling of worry I'm getting. How am I going to face him tomorrow? I'll just act like nothing happened, after all I don't want to lose the only friend I've ever made. My mind finally at ease, I continue reading my book, until my eyelids get heavy and I can't read anymore. Then I change into my night cloth and go to sleep; setting my alarm for tomorrow.

"Gaara your mother never loved you." That was what was told to me the day I killed him. The day I first took someone's life. But it was ok, it was fine that I wasn't loved. Because I didn't really love any of my family members, I wasn't really ever acquainted with what love was. My father, he said and still says that he loves me. That all he did was out of his love for me. But he, he told the truth. He reviled his hate for me. He really though I was a demon, and hated me. Hated me for killing his sister, and never loved me. He never did anything for me out of love, he hated me. But I loved him.

A towel if not two covers my face. I try to push him away from me, as it gets harder and harder for my little lungs to take in air. I open a drawer, and take out a knife, I start to swing it around. Not being able to breath anymore, as he suffocates me with the towels. He presses the material harder against my face, and pushes me down on the floor. I keep swinging the knife, desperate to get air.

Then..then I hit something. I can hear him yell, and I keep on striking him in the same spot. He still holds the towels over my face, I stab as hard as I can over and over again. And his grip loosens. I keep on hitting him, until he falls on half my little seven-year-old body. I pull the towels away from my face, and take in air. After five minutes on the floor I notice something. He's not moving, and blood is all over my hand. I try to move but am pined under him. I start to scream and cry. My dad comes in.

That's the day that made everything worse, the day I killed my uncle. But it's ok now right? I'm loved now right? Why else would Naruto kiss me?

I jolt up in my bed, breathing hard. I rub my eyes and look at the clock next to me. Three o'clock in the morning. I lay back down and try to go back to sleep. I remember the last part of my dream and almost laugh. Who in their right mind would love me? I ask myself and roll over to my side forcing sleep to come.

Presently my alarm clock rings, I turn it off and head to my closet. It's getting colder and colder outside, especially in the morning. It's not too bad, but I have to bring a jacket. November—which is the month we are in the middle of now—is always one of the coldest down here, next to December. Though any other month before these two are still relatively warm, like September, when me and Naruto went swimming. When I first met the boy. His birthday was in October, though he wasn't so big on celebrating, though he did drag me to a haunted house on Halloween.

I put on my cloths while thinking back on all those past memories. It was nice, I guess, but what now? How do I face him today, after what he did? I go into the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth. Spacing out, my mind desperately trying to come up with some way to react once I see the blonde.

I head downstairs and we all go to school. I do my usual routine, and then just wait for Naruto to show up. I can hear his voice, he's talking to that one black-haired guy he always talks to in the morning. When I hear the words 'see ya', I stiffen up knowing he'll be entering any minute. He does only a few seconds after the words leave his mouth. He comes to sit in his desk like always, and like always says good morning. Though he sounded more timid then usual, maybe he doesn't know how to react to this either? I can't bring myself to say anything, I don't know why. I just can't speak, I don't know what to do, I don't want to lead him on or anything.

We go through out the whole day, not speaking to each other, but rather just in each other's company. I think this upsets Naruto, but I don't know what else to do. I couldn't even look at him, not without feeling awkward. Without remembering that he kissed me.

We were at launch when I got even more mystified. The bell had rang, but I didn't notice, I was spacing out. I could faintly hear Naruto talking to me, trying to get my attention, but I didn't react. Then he touched my shoulder. I jumped just a little, and stared up at him. I felt weird really weird, and why the hell did I jump like that? He had a look of sadness in his eyes, and I didn't mean to put it there. I know throughout the whole day, my face expression stayed the same. The same non-emotional couldn't care less expression. It must have confused the blonde, but I was confused to. I just didn't know how to handle this. I didn't know what to do.

I don't think I want to be anything other then friends. Why did he have to kiss me? Why did he even have to talk to me back in September? Why did I ever let a friend into my life? I knew having a friend was going to make my life more complicated. I suddenly feel regret for everything. I should just have stayed on my own, alone like always. After all... who in their right mind would care about me, who in the world would ever love me?

A/N: Awe our poor confused little emo, Gaara. He'll see soon, that he can not runaway from his true love! See ya next chapter, bye!