A/N: I am breaking the pattern. I tried hard not to, but Gaara's POV must be here first. Because I have way more angsty stuff for him right now.

Chapter: 10

Gaara's POV

I sit on my bed head in my hands, just thinking. He said he loves me, why is it that it hurts? I repeat the conversation between us over and over again in my head. I don't know what to do, I want…I don't know what I want. All I know and can feel is this unexplainable pain in my chest. Like something is missing, maybe it's him. Have I lost him? Is that why I feel this pain in my chest. I put my hand over my heart, and then clutch my shirt, as I think of him.

I don't know anything anymore, I'm just confused. I want something, but it's foggy. I can't clearly see what it is, that would stop the empty pain in my chest. I have no real idea of what it is that's missing. Friendship? But how do I know that I've lost that? Naruto just wants something more then that, but I don't know if I can give him that. So will he end our friendship because of it? Maybe that would be best. It would be less confusing. I should just go back to being alone, and I won't have to worry about any off this. I feel a sting. The pain increases. So is it friendship that I want, his companionship? Those possibilities seemed so close to the reason yet at the same time distant. What is it? What's this feeling, I can't explain?

I take in a deep breath, and go down stair. Father will be home soon, and we'll all have dinner together. Temari was on the couch watching TV, I join her. She looks in my direction, and I glance in her direction. She had worry oozing from her, I shrugged it off. I didn't care, I didn't want to talk to her. I just want to sit here in peace. She didn't ask anything, or say anything.

At dinner all was quiet. For once I wish my father would ask me something, so I could stop my mind from thinking about the blonde next door. After dinner, I offered Temari to help with the dishes, so I could keep myself busy. It was like I was running from the conclusion my mind would come to if it had time to think. When there was no more to busy myself with, I head upstairs. Thankfully there came I knock not soon after.

"Yes?" I call, the door squeaks open. My father walks in. Though I was glad to see him—so I could keep my mind off my dilemma—I was confused, what does he want? He closes the door behind him.

"You seem, not yourself." He says. "Is anything wrong?"

I couldn't help but think this is too normal, like something a father would do. I didn't feel comfortable.

"Yeah just a little trouble at school." I mumble. He smiles.

"Good, try not to become too depressed. The trouble will pass. If you let it eat at you, it'll give the demon an opening to return. And we wouldn't want that." He says happily. But I could tell it is what he wants. He can't stand treating me like a normal son. He wants to hurt me again and is looking for any justification. I could tell by the crazed and desperate look in his eyes.

"You should have some fun tomorrow, then you won't think about the trouble." He explains slowly heading back to the door. "Why not spend some time with that blonde boy..Naruto was it?" He says and opens the door. I nod, he doesn't need to know that Naruto is actually the source of my trouble. My father then leaves, and with that come the thoughts of Naruto. If only he didn't bring the boy up in the conversation. I sigh and look out my window. I look up at the stars, the empty pain growing inside me again.

"What is it? What are you trying to tell me?" I ask the ache. Then it hits me, it's heartache. The pain in my chest is my heart. But why is it so painfully empty…or rather so fluttery. Yes the strange pain felt like a flutter. What does that mean? Why is my heart feeling this way? I felt something like it before once, during one of the rituals so long ago. Anxiety, fear and confusion was related to that flutter. But, this one seemed less fearful. It's just confused and anxious. Anxious about what? I let out a sigh, I need to go to bed. Let my mind rest, because this is all to strange to me.

The next day I wake up with the same ache in my chest. I slept pretty late, it was already noon. But at least I got to escape my perplexing feelings for some hours. I get up, to get ready for the day. I put on comfortable, dark clothes, and am in the mood for wearing a lot of my belts and gloves. Then I go downstair for some breakfast, though I found I wasn't so hungry. The flutter in my chest not letting me eat. Which I found strange. I sit in front of the TV, Kankuro was watching some stupid show. So I didn't pay too much attention to it, but instead concentrated on the flutter.

It is stronger then it was yesterday. Like it was asking for something, but I don't know what. I myself want to forget all this, and get rid of these confusing feelings, but I can't. What is it I really want, what the inside of me is begging me for? Is it Naruto, do I want to go talk to Naruto? I felt some fear go through me. I wouldn't know what to say once I got there, I really didn't want to lose our friendship. It's the only one I have, but I don't think I can give him what he wants. No I can't, I've been unloved and alone for too long. I just want to go back to being alone, I could never give Naruto what he craves for. The pain shot trough my chest, the confusing pain. Begging me for something, but I'm not sure what. I get up decided to go over to Naruto's. We need to talk, maybe it'll set something's straight. I'll just tell him I don't want to be friends. The memory of him telling me he loves me runs through my head. My heart speeds up. No one's ever told me such a thing, I think to myself. Though the whole thing seemed kind of random.

I walk out the door, and over to my friends house. I hesitate before ringing the door bell. Naruto's dad answers it and seems very happy to see me. "Good, maybe you can bring Naruto out of his slump. He's just been up in his room, won't even come out for ramen." He explains leading me up to the blonde's room. He knocks on it. "Naruto you have a guest." Then he pushes the door open for me, and I walk in. The door closes behind me. Naruto is under his covers. He pushes himself up just a little, to look over his shoulder. There was a little sparkle in his blue eyes.

"Why are you here?" He asks me. I could feel my heart going crazy and that empty pain becoming unbearable. I couldn't stand it. I walk up to the bed.

"We need to talk." I say in a low voice. The blonde flips over on his back, and looks at me. He pats the side of the bed, offering me a place to sit. I take that offer. I couldn't speak once I sat down, I wanted to but I couldn't. I don't know how to tell him, though it seemed so simple. Just say 'I don't think this friendship will last, and we should go our separate ways.' But the words didn't come out.

"I'm sorry man." Naruto says, I was glad he said something. "I understand if you're a little uncomfortable around me. But can we go back to being friends?" I think, is this what I want? Or should I just go back to being alone. No one not even me wants to be alone. Yes this is what I want, to go back to the less complicated relationship of friends. I open my mouth, to say yes. Yes this is what I want, then why can't I say it? I look at my hands in my lap. This is all some strange bullshit, and it's pissing me off! What is it? What do I want? What the hell is this strange heartache in my chest? Naruto puts his hand on my shoulder. "Gaara?"

I stare at him, and everything seemed to stop. At least my brain stopped. I take his hand, absentmindedly. I push it off my shoulder, he has a look of hurt. But then I do something, something I don't think I would have ever done. I take the collar of his plain white shirt, and pull him up to me. I crushed our lips together and it felt good. The pain in my chest seemed to melt and move down to a more private area. I don't know what came over me, but I push the blonde back into the pillows. I crawl ontop of him, intertwining our fingers. Our lips parted only a split second to take a little breath of air. Then they came back together, I plow open his lips and force my tongue in his mouth. His hand—the one not holding mine—comes up to my head. As he pushes me down closer to him. I felt like I was going to fuse with him, then I break away. Gasping for breath, I sit ontop of him staring down at the blonde. Why did I just do that? But, god that felt good.

Naruto smiles at me, while panting. The sound of him taking in air turned me on, but I calm myself down. I've never thought of my sexuality, never had the time. Too busy being tutored in rituals. And friendship was something I wasn't even that familiar with, so I never gave a second thought to any kind of relationship, especially a homosexual one. But what I just did, whatever came over me, it felt right. I guess my hormones just exploded, after never having a reason to do anything before.

Naruto's finger tips touch my cheek. "I love you." Pain, horrible pain shot through me. Was it that word? Love, maybe I wasn't ready for that. After all I never though I'd have anyone direct the word at me. I get up off him. A puzzled look comes over Naruto's features.

"I'm…I don't know why I just did that. I…I…" I paused, not being able to utter the same words back 'I love you'. I can't let myself fall in love, can I? I let myself become friends with him, and that didn't seem so bad. Up until it all got so complicated and confusing. If I let myself care for him will it only end in pain? Does he really love me?

"…Why?" I ask him, that being the only thing I could really say.

He pulls me to him. "Because you're so much like me. And you're damn sexy too." He laughs at the end of the sentence, I stay quiet. "I mean it Gaara, I care about you." He kisses the back of my ear. "I want to find out what made you're eyes so sad." He tells me, nuzzling his nose into my neck. My eyes? What a strange thing to say. I turn to face him.

"Why would you want to know that?" I ask emotionlessly. I let myself be pulled closer to his chest, and I rest my head on his shoulder. I would never let him find out why I'm so depressed. After all that part of my, life is over. I don't want to talk about it. I never felt that it was any ones business to know, no matter how close they are to me.

" 'Cause my eyes used to look like yours, when I was little."

"Tell me why your eyes looked like that." My voice sounded demanding. Though I wondered why he'd be sad, he always seemed like a happy person. Maybe it's because he never knew his parents, or maybe it's something else he never gave me a hint to.

Naruto kisses me on the forehead, not at all wanting to give me an explanation. I was fine with it, I didn't care. He'll tell me one day. But I won't tell him about the things my father did to me. Everything is changing now after all. What use is it to bring up bad memories?

A/N: Whoa I didn't plan this to be an all Gaara chapter, but I think it was good. What about you?