Hi guys,

I finally passed all my exams, which means I have time to write again.

Though I want to apologize for the long wait and hope you'll like this update.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Chapter 3

"Hey, how are you doing?" Kate looked towards the door in surprise, and smiled when she saw Ryan and Esposito standing there.

"Fine, but I've been better. Any news of the sniper?"

Ryan groaned, pulled out a twenty and gave it to Esposito, who accepted the bill with a wide grin. Amused and slightly confused by their behavior, she observed them as she waited for an explanation.

"Ryan and I had a little bet going on," Javi explained. "I knew that your first question would be about the sniper. Ryan had thought otherwise." That was just one part of their bet. While Espo really thought so, Ryan thought that she'd have asked for her partner first, and right now they wanted to prolong that conversation as long as they could.

"You two are unbelievable," Kate remarked and shook her head at their antics." So are there any news now?"

"The search is still in progress, but as of now we still have nothing. Sorry." Ryan admitted.

She was slightly disappointed to hear that they hadn't found the sniper yet, but she shouldn't have expected it. With her in the hospital, they were one member short and as much as Castle was trying, he wasn't a real police officer.

Castle.

She had yet to hear from him. Josh told her that he couldn't reach him. However she wasn't sure if he spoke the truth or simply ignored her request. But he should've found out from the boys that she had woken up, so why hadn't he come and visited her? It had been a day and she would've thought that he'd come see her as soon as he heard the news.

"What about Castle? Has he been at the precinct lately?" Kate asked quietly, almost as if she didn't want anyone to hear her and give her an actual answer. An answer she might not want to hear. His absence irritated her. The man she knew wouldn't have stayed away that long, and furthermore, she hadn't the slightest idea where they stood now. Before the funeral she had made it perfectly clear that he wasn't welcome anymore, but then there were her blurred memories of his declaration of love. And she really thought that their relationship, their partnership couldn't become more complicated.

Both Esposito and Ryan looked uncertainly at each other. As if they had no real information for her, and she could already guess what their answer would be. "No. He hasn't been to the precinct once," Ryan answered. "And he told us he won't come anymore."

Kate looked up at them with wide eyes, shocked from the news she had just received. But should she really be? After all, she had told him to leave. But, after what had happened at the funeral, she'd have been sure he'd stop by. Maybe even try to reason with her and talk her into letting him come back. Besides, he had proven his incompetence at following her orders again and again in the past. So why would he suddenly start listening to them now?

"He said that he finished his research. That he has enough material for the remaining books of the Heat series. Castle also said that it's time to start something new." Javi added.

"Does that mean he'll end the series?" A light tremble could be heard in her voice, but Kate hoped that the boys hadn't noticed it. She couldn't meet their eyes while she waited for the answer, dread piling up in to pit of her belly.

"He didn't exactly tell us his plans, just that he's taking a creative break," Ryan looked almost apologetic as he fished something out of his pocket. "And, he asked us to give you this."

Ryan handed Beckett an envelope, folded in the middle to fit in his coat pocket, "We haven't sneaked a glance." he promised.

A letter? After all this time, he couldn't even tell her his decisions personally?

Maybe Kate should have known better, but she had really thought that Castle had changed. That he wasn't so selfish or arrogant anymore; obviously she had been wrong. He was still incapable of treating people with the same respect as they gave him. He was still just a big kid.

When she held the eulogy, Kate had thought about their partnership. Thought about all those moments in which they were there for each other, as well as all those moments in which they had laughed, cried, struggled, fought, and survived together. At that moment she had suddenly realized that she didn't want him to leave, that she liked him at her side, and she planned to tell him after the burial that he should forget her angry words. That she hadn't meant them. To be honest, she would have thought that Castle would not leave the hospital until she woke up. His loyalty and his care for her had seemed indisputable.

Kate put the letter between two vases on the table next to her, not eager to read what Castle had put on that sheet of paper. Right now, she had to work through the shocking news of his leaving first. Besides, she'd like to read the letter without an audience. Who knew what Castle had written to her. But really, who confesses his love to someone and then simply disappears out of her life?

"And how will things continue with you for now?" Espo's question broke Kate out of her thoughts.

"My doctor told me that I should be able to leave at the end of next week, but of course I'll have to complete rehab before I can even think about coming back to work."

"Well, we hope that you'll recover quickly so that you can come back. Everyone misses you terribly." Ryan said.

"Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it." she smiled. Hopefully rehab wouldn't take too long.

Castle grabbed his bag, and closed the door to his bedroom. In two hours he'd be sitting on a flight to Paris. He hoped that he packed everything he needed. His mother sat at the kitchen island, observing him closely as she sipped her drink.

"Please, try not to transform the loft in a complete battlefield while Alexis and I are gone." Castle pleaded to his mother, a teasing twinkle in his eyes.

"I'm sure I can control myself." she answered dryly, looking at him with an intense expression. "Are you really sure that you want to do this?"

"What? Go to Paris?" Castle asked, already knowing what exactly she meant.

"Not that; the other thing. You walking the Way of St. James."

"I've already told you that you can't persuade me out of this. I planned it and will seeing it through."

"Richard, is this because of what happened to Beckett?"

"This has nothing to do with Beckett. Honestly? I've always asked myself just what it would be like to walk the Way of St. James." Castle cut her off.

"Oh really? Until a few days ago, I'd never heard you breathe a word of this insane idea." Martha looked at him knowingly, "You couldn't have changed anything, what happened was not your fault, and if you'd bother to talk to Beckett, she'd be the first to tell you that too."

"I'm not a good influence," he insisted stubbornly, "I don't follow rules, and my behavior has endangered people before. Kate survived, thank god, but there could come a time where we won't be that lucky."

"That's her job! She knew what she'd signed up for. Besides she wouldn't have let you stay that long if she thought you just endangered others. Not to mention that you've grown a lot since you started working with Beckett. You're not the Richard Castle I knew before your time at the Twelfth."

"Really? Because I don't see any changes in myself. I still get others into trouble. Serious trouble."

"Talk to her, Richard. She deserves more than just a letter from you."

Castle simply shook his head. "You're completely right, mother. She deserves more. More than I could ever give her."

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Wish you all a great start into a new week.