Hello everyone,

I want to thank all of you who followed, favorited and reviewed so far. You guys are amazing. Thank you. It means a lot to me to see that you like this story so much.

Having that said, here is the next chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Chapter 7

Castle hadn't had such a bad night in a long time now. He didn't even manage to sleep for two hours. His legs hurt, and his whole body burned with every move he made. He had been sure that he'd sleep like a stone, not that he'd need hours to fall asleep for a short time.

Was this a normal state when you were on your way of the Way of St. James? As he had planned his trip he had read about many things that he could encounter to give him some trouble, but sleep issues? No, he definitely didn't read about that. However, the thing all repots he had read back at home had in common was that people most likely start tearing up somewhere along the way. Whether it was from any emotional thoughts or just plain frustration and exhaustion. People seemed to always come to that point. Castle couldn't think of any possibility that could bring him to a meltdown.

Since he couldn't sleep, Castle spent the most of the night tending to his thoughts. Thinking about his two redheads at home, and what they were doing at the moment. He winced slightly when he thought about all the things his mother would do to the loft while he was gone. Would he even recognize the loft again when he got back? God, was he really thinking about his trip home, when he hadn't even been on his tour for two days? If he'd go home tomorrow, the first thing he'd hear after walking through the front door would be his mother's knowing words I told you so.

His little angel was probably studying for some test most of the time. He couldn't believe that she'd leave for college in a few months. Where did the time go? It felt like it had just been yesterday that he was with her on the playground in the park, sliding down the chute after Alexis, or pushing her while she sat on the swing screaming for him to push harder. The corner of his lips lifted as he thought back to the moment Alexis had tried on her laser tag gear for the first time. She had looked absolutely ridiculous. Why couldn't she stay his little daughter forever? He wasn't ready for her to leave the nest.

That train of thought led to the precinct. Were the boys angry with him for not returning? He had told them with as few words as possible that he wouldn't be coming back to the Twelfth. He had noticed that they weren't happy with his decision, yet they didn't try to persuade him into staying. But maybe his invitation to a poker night had helped, showing them that he wasn't intending to completely break the contact. Nevertheless, Castle was sure they'd give him a hard time on that night, maybe even as soon as he arrived back home. The boys would make him bleed, he should probably be throwing in his sports car for a day…or two. And maybe even think of an upgrade for the coffee machine at the precinct.

Coffee.

Huh, funny he thought, that just the idea of the refreshing, hot beverage ultimately led his thoughts toward Kate. Had she read his letter? By now she must have read it. He had sat at his desk for hours pondering over his words. Normally he was able to write a whole chapter in the time he had written this ridiculous letter! Castle had no idea how often he had crossed a word out or even crumpled up the whole sheet of paper, throwing it straight into the recycle bin. Probably too often. He hadn't had an idea what to write to her. How much should he tell her? Should he stay brief? Explain everything?

The blessed writer Richard Edgar Castle, who had written twenty-seven bestsellers was at a loss of words for a little letter.

Yet, Kate Beckett had always possessed the ability to rob him of his words. She had him under control with just one of her looks, and could make him feel like an immature boy again. Did she even know that she had this power over him? The things she could do to him? On the coldest of days her stare could result in him getting sizzling heat flashes. In extreme – albeit just a few – times he had to remember to breathe. Beckett was like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. She was a temptation, magically drawing him in.

It had been a daily balancing act to work with her. They always reached this invisible line sometime during the day, yet were ever careful to not cross it. Right from the beginning, he had assumed that he'd burn himself and break on her hard exterior. She had ruined him. Had ruined him forever, had managed to change him so that other women left him cold. He wanted just the one. The forbidden fruit.

Was he jealous of Doctor Josh, Motorcycle Boy, Davidson? Of course, what man wouldn't be? He was the lucky guy Kate Beckett had chosen to be with. Wanted to be with him. Who was he in contrast to this super successful surgeon who saved dozens of lives on a daily basis? Castle had noticed very early in their partnership that she wasn't interested in money, couldn't be impressed by it. That was why he decided to impress her differently every day. Solved cases with her, had her back in dangerous situations, brought her coffee just to see that special smile she seemed to have reserved only for him. The one he loved to see on her face.

Though what he didn't see was the pain he had brought into her life. If it wouldn't have been for him, Montgomery would still be alive and Kate wouldn't have been shot, her blood running through his hands. She had worked hard in her life, had been through so much and then he came and made her life his personal playground.

This had to stop. And as much as he wished he could be in the city working side by side with New York's finest, it was better this way. A clear and final line. She'd understand, see that her life was better off without him. It wasn't important what he wanted, not when he hurt people while doing it. He'd manage just fine. And maybe – just maybe – this trip would give him some time to think about all the things he could do once he was back home.

Since he couldn't sleep, Castle got up pretty early the next day, preparing himself for the day. Forty-eight miles separated him from his next destination. Pamplona, a city in the region of Navarre.

The sun was shining mercilessly down again, letting him know that it would be one of those days again, in which the sweat would pour down his face as if he stood under the shower. Though his cap was covering his head and forehead, the rest of his body was helplessly at the mercy of the sunbeams. So that he wouldn't burn completely, he had applied sun screen on all of his exposed body parts. This was his third day and if the weather would stay like this, he would go home with a decent tan.

The ascent was exhausting like the other times, though he had gotten used to it by now. However he still felt his aching limbs with every move, felt like he was walking on hot coals. Maybe he should take the next day to rest, his body would certainly welcome a day off. He was a writer after all, could take as many days as he wanted for this journey. But he still wouldn't drag it out all that much, knowing he couldn't stay away from his daughter for that long. It still felt good, though, to know that he didn't have any pressure to hurry the hell up, seeing that he didn't have a boss to answer to. The only one who'd be less than thrilled that he was taking longer than planned was Gina, and Castle chuckled, amused, when he thought about her making his life a living hell for every day longer he'd take on his journey.

His path was leading him mostly on roads, and he was surprised when he noticed that there wasn't a lot of traffic out here. But he wasn't complaining. The temptation would be too great to try and catch a ride, only to be disappointed in himself later the day for not walking to Pamplona himself. He should be happy that for today, he could walk on a perfectly arranged street, with almost no possibilities of troubles along his way.

As Castle had finally reached Pamplona he didn't take a lot of time to explore the city, searching directly for the quarters of the pilgrims. He was dead-tired, just wanted to go to bed, and after a few quick words for his homepage he laid down and fell asleep almost instantly.

His decision to take a day off and rest his tired body was a good one. He'd slept until ten this morning and had to admit that he felt well rested. His limbs still hurt but not as much as the day before.

To find a compromise between his head, which was ready to continue, and his body that would like another day off, he got himself a bus ticket to Viana. He had planned to walk the whole way, but if his body wasn't willing to cooperate, he had to find another way to move forward. If he'd stubbornly continue walking the whole way, he probably would hobble through Spain over the next few years, and he really wasn't planning to do that.

After exploring Pamplona for some time, Rick spent the remaining time of the day sitting outside of a café, curiously observing the city life. There was a bull arena, but sadly there wasn't an event planned for today. He'd have fun watching that spectacle.

"Hello! How are you doing?" Castle's eyes flickered surprised to the left, he'd been too deep in his thoughts to notice the man who had sat down next to him, grinning joyfully. It took him some time until he recognized the man who had joined him at his table. They had met twice on this trip already, but their conversations had never been more than a few quick words.

"Hi." Castle greeted the man.

"Taking the day off?"

"I'd rather be on my way, but my legs wouldn't cooperate."

"I know that feeling. The Way of St. James isn't easy to travel. It brings anyone to their limits, even trained people. Adding weather and sleepless nights, makes it feel impossible to accomplish at times."

"You know quite a lot." Castle noted.

The man shrugged. "It's not my first time being on this journey. I'm one of the crazy ones traveling the Way of St. James for the second time already. On my first tour, there were many times I asked myself how I got this stupid idea of participating in this adventure. But then there are days you're seeing fascinating things, things that pull you in, making every struggle you'll encounter worth it. Even now on my second time on this journey, there are many thing I'm seeing for the first time." The stranger said. "By the way, my name is Benjamin. I'm from London."

"I'm Rick. I'm from New York."

"Ah, our dear Big Apple. I've been there a few times. But even with my frequent visits, I still manage to get lost sometimes. The anonymity is remarkable. You can do almost anything and no one would notice – at least not immediately."

"Yeah. It's kinda sad though. No one is really interested in anything other than themselves."

"And how did you come up with this idea of walking the Way of St. James?" Benjamin asked curiously.

Rick thought about his answer. How did he come up with the idea? Well, it sure looked like a distraction. Something that could get his mind onto other things, keeping him occupied with something new. Something that didn't involve a certain New Yorker homicide detective.

There, he admitted it. This journey was just one big distraction from Beckett, his try to slowly remove himself from her life. Though, to give Benjamin an answer, Castle decided for the easy route. "I needed a change in scenery."

Benjamin laughed at that."Well then, you came to the right place for that! You'll experience things on your journey that you'd never experience anywhere else."

"What about you? You taking the day off too?"

"You could say that. I met some people on my first time here. I'll stay a little longer in Pamplona to meet up with them. I'll continue on in two days though."

Castle and Benjamin chatted for a while before they bid their farewells. Benjamin was certainly an interesting character. Though he was still a young man, Benjamin seemed to know more about the world that other people out there. He was full of knowledge, his eyes shining out his smartness.

The day slowly came to an end, but before Castle went to bed he decided to do a quick video message for his homepage. And call his family! Yeah, he'd definitely call them, needing to hear their familiar voices. Speaking to his daughter would brighten his mood instantly, Castle thought as he pulled out his cell and speed dialed the number of the loft.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Pumpkin." Castle smiled.

"Dad! How are you doing?"

"Been better, but not bad enough to just stop and go home. What about you? How are you and Grams doing? Anything I should know? Castle grinned, wanting to know what his daughter and mother had been up to while he was away. He had never been separated from his daughter for such a long time.

"Everything's fine, Dad. Gram is rehearsing for a new play actually." Alexis told him, and he was just about to tell her that she'd have his compassion for that one, when she already started to speak again."Detective Beckett was here." She said, her voice definitely quieter than before, hesitation audible in her speech. As if she wasn't sure if she should mention this information at all to her dad.

That fact aroused his attention, sitting a little straighter. "Beckett? What did she want?"

"No idea. She was surprised that you weren't home."

Castle hesitated. "What did you tell her?"

"That you're walking the Way of St. James, and you'd be back in a few weeks."

"And she didn't mention why she stopped by?"

"Sorry, Dad. I could find out if you need to know it." Alexis offered.

"No, don't sweat it. If it'd have been something urgent she'd have told you."

Castle and Alexis talked some more before they ended the call. It had felt so good to hear the voice of his daughter, the feeling of nostalgia forming in the pit of his abdomen. Now he had at least some motivation to continue his journey without adding another day in Pamplona, knowing that the faster he'd pull through this the faster he'd be home again with his daughter.

Purely Castle this time. Next chapter we'll see how Kate's doing.

Wish you all a great start into a new week!