MM. Another short one. Be glad. I should be studying for my two exams on Tuesday.

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

CHAPTER FOUR

BETRAYAL

Joseph brought a hand up to his face and sighed.

"I was scared. I couldn't understand why grandfather did that to Anya. At first I felt betrayed by him, because he was the one I looked up to, but after a few years, I began to understand why he did what he did. When grandfather called me to him, he told me that he was getting very old, and all he wanted to do was show us how much he loved us. He didn't really mean to kill Anya; it was just his emotions that got the better of him. Grandfather said that when he hurts people, he's really expressing his love to them. He said that he wanted me to show how much I loved him by shooting him, and he told me that I should keep on showing Alice how much I love her. He said that I might get strange looks, and people might misunderstand me, but I shouldn't let that bother me. He told me that we were both different."

Alice's eyes widened in interest at the developing story. Ms. Finsen looked up from her notepad. She rose from her chair, opened the filing cabinet and skimmed over the files until she found the one she was looking for. She returned to her seat, opened it and read through it quickly.

"Here, Joseph, I have a file on Everard Gehabich, your grandfather I presume. It says here that he lived near the Hack Forest, near the outskirts of Yourke. He worked for a prosperous manufacturing company for 30 years until he retired."

Joseph nodded his head. "That's right."

"It also says that he was found dead in the forest, with two bullets to the chest."

Joseph flinched slightly. "Yes. That's where I shot him."

"Well, based on what your grandfather told you, I can only come to the conclusion that he wanted to ruin your family. The file says that he had absolutely no trace of mental illnesses, so that rules madness out. However, several reports were given during his tenure at that company that he was very manipulative and selfish. His co-workers said he would do anything to get his way. This leads me to my next question for you. Has your grandfather ever had any major disagreements with either of your parents?"

Joseph scratched his head. "I faintly remember Father not wanting us to go to Grandfather's one year because they had had some argument."

Alice looked at Dr. Finsen, picking up where she was going with the conversation. "Mother told me some weeks back about how Dad and his father had a quarrel some time back about Dad's choice of marriage partner. Grandfather wanted Dad to marry the daughter of a wealthy associate of his so they could have good business relationships, but Dad refused."

"Joseph, has it ever occurred to you that your grandfather just told you all of those things to get back at your father for not doing what he wanted. Revenge is the only possible explanation for him telling you such things at such a young age."

Joseph stared at the psychologist. She'd hit the nail right on the head. What she said made sense to him, but he just couldn't accept it. He ran his hands through his hair and began tugging on it, looking about ready to throw up again.

"That's not true... Grandfather wouldn't do something like that. He wouldn't use me just to get at his own son! H-he loved me... He loved Anya; he loved all of us, but he just had a different way of expressing himself. He was a good man, the best relative you could ever wish for. All I've been doing is living the way he taught me to live, but nobody appreciates it. None of you do, and none of you ever will. Grandfather wouldn't betray me like that..."

Slowly, Joseph lost his resolve.

After ranting about his trust and his love for his grandfather, he slumped in his chair. His skin was pale and cold as death itself. His eyes had drained themselves of all life, and when he looked up at Ms. Finsen, she truly felt as if he were looking straight through her. He was tired. He felt like a used piece of scrap paper, just being tossed around, trampled on and walked over, and aching to enter a bin.

"How are you feeling, Joseph?" Dr. Finsen asked.

The boy simply looked up at her weakly, then let his head fall onto his chest.

"Let's give him some time. Alice, when had your brother started showing sadistic traits?"

"When he was ten, mother had just started planting her own flower garden. She worked really hard on it for weeks, and finally, the flowers were beginning to bloom. One afternoon, we were coming home from a camping trip with Dad. Joseph went around to the garden to check on it and found the neighbour's dog digging up some of the flowers. Later on in the afternoon, I saw him dipping one of the rusty bear traps we got as souvenirs into alcohol and liquid rat poison. He set it outside with some bait and waited for the neighbour's dog to come again. The dog was lured by the scent and raced right into the trap. I was really scared when I saw it, but he was really excited. He ran up to the dog and started poking it with a stick. He even called me to look at it."

"I see. So, why didn't you tell your parents about what was going on? Especially in the last month?"

"I was worried that they wouldn't believe me and think I was a liar. I was also afraid that if they did believe me, they'd ship him off to boarding school. I had faith and hope that he'd change, and I honestly believed it was just a phase at one point." Alice looked over at her brother. He looked really feeble and she guessed that he wasn't willing to continue with the counselling session for that day. "Um, Ms. Finsen is it okay if we stop for the day? We'll come back regularly, but I don't think your efforts will be very fruitful if we keep going on."

The lady adjusted her glasses and smiled at Alice. "Okay dear. We'll stop for now. Since it's just about lunch time, you two should grab a bite to eat, then I want you to take Joseph to the nurse's office. Also ask your parents to let his caretaker stay with him for the next few days. Come straight here tomorrow morning, okay?" she rose from her desk and opened the door for them.

"Sure." Alice tapped Joseph on the shoulder. He rose from his chair and exited the room without a word. She stared at him in worry.

Joseph sat around the lunch table absently playing with his food. Lucas and Daniel both had scowls on their faces, but quickly wiped them off when they received a death glare from Alice. She had insisted that he sit with them, even though the others had given her confused looks.

Conversation around the table was strained. Joseph's presence just seemed to put a damper on everyone's spirit, and his behaviour did nothing to help ease the tension. He was resting his head on his hand and repeatedly spearing one of his muffins when Julie finally asked, "Um, Joseph, are you alright? You've just been sitting there, and you haven't even taken a bite or looked up from your plate since you came here."

Joseph's right eye twitched. He inhaled deeply, rose from the table, discarded his meal and made his way to the nurses' quarters.

"What's up with him?" Daniel snorted in disgust.

Runo shot him a death glare then asked, "How was your first counselling session? Made any progress?"

Alice put her fork down then stared at her lap. "We did."

"Then what's with the gloomy face?"

"Joseph was there. I've just learned something about him that's been affecting him for a long time, but I'm still struggling with my emotions. I don't know if I should keep hating him or start pitying him. I-I'm just confused."

Lucas rested his hand on hers and locked his grey eyes with her brown ones. "Do whatever you think is right," he said reassuringly.

Just then, the bell rang. All the other students in the room began rising from their seats and trashing leftovers. They were all chatting and laughing and enjoying their youth.

"Come on. Let's get to Literature class before Mr. Clay has a fit."

Joseph slowly cracked one of his eyes open. He was greeted with harsh white light. Instinctively, he shielded his face with his hands and sat up. After a few moments, he was able to open his eyes fully. A tubby lady with rosy cheeks and blonde hair dressed in a full white nurse's uniform placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "Joseph, it's time for you to go home. You've been out cold for over an hour."

He pushed himself off the chair and tried to gain a steady footing. With a stretch, he said, "Thanks Nurse Nishi."

He began to walk out of the room

"Make sure that you get enough rest this evening. Keep your asthma pump nearby at all times, and tomorrow morning go straight to Ms. Finsen's office."

"Sure."

Joseph exited the room and walked down the corridor. He didn't see the teenagers milling through the place. He barely noticed when he almost bumped into one of them. Joseph didn't see his former friends standing near the school's exit discussing something of great importance.

The young man walked home in a trance. As soon as he got inside he was greeted by his caretaker. He only spared the man a glance before ordering him to lock all the windows and draw all the curtains shut. Scared out of his wits, the caretaker sprang into action, locking the front door and doing all else that Joseph commanded him to.

Finally satisfied with the darkness and gloom, Joseph dismissed him, then made his way to his room. Confused, the caretaker crept into a storeroom until his young master was inside his room, then emerged again, determined to keep watch over him.

Joseph fumbled around in one of his drawers for a scalpel. Upon finding one, he sat in a corner, brandished the instrument and leaned his head against the wall.

She had to be lying right? Grandfather never would use me just to punish Dad for what he did. But, if that's the case, then I don't serve a purpose anymore. Grandfather would've achieved his goal. I've broken my family apart. Anya is dead. I almost killed Alice. My parents hate me. Alice hates me. My aunts and cousins are all afraid of me. My friends wish I had killed myself. I'm just a disgusting sore in everyone's life. If I end it all right here, everyone will be able to get on with their lives. They won't have to be afraid, or get hurt again.

Joseph pressed the scalpel down on his wrist, wincing in pain when the cut was made.

Nobody will have to be ashamed of me anymore.

He made another cut.

Nobody will have to bear any more regrets.

And another.

They can all live in peace.

And another.

He let the scalpel slip through his bloody fingers. He waited eagerly for his life to finally fade away completely.

Joseph was almost certain he was hallucinating when he saw Alice enter the room. He would have thought she really was if she didn't have such a realistic look of horror on her face. She ran up to him, her eyes filled with sorrow and pain.

Joseph pressed his body closer to the wall in a feeble attempt to avoid her. "St-stay away from me. Don't come any closer."

Ignoring him completely, Alice picked up a first aid kit he kept in his closet, kneeled down on the bloodstained floor and began to tend to his wounds. Too weak to resist, he kept silent straight throughout the procedure and only stared at her in confusion.

"Why? Why can't you just leave me be? You keep interfering."

Alice took one of his cold hands in hers.

"Why Alice? Why do you keep on going so far for me? You should hate me and fear me like everyone else does."

His voice cracked. He held his head down and allowed himself to break down completely for the first time in years. Alice pulled his body close to hers and cradled him in her arms. He clutched desperately at her blouse and poured out all of his bottled up, shrouded over feelings. Alice just held him and stroked his hair; feeling very troubled about what he had to endure for so long.

Later that night, Alice entered Joseph's room once more. He was lying down in a foetal position, the sheets partially covering his pyjamas. She crawled in beside him and cupped his cheek in her hand. He looked up at her, slate eyes sad and empty.

"I had no idea that Grandfather did that to you." She stroked his soft skin. He averted his eyes. "I know the damage has already been done, and that sadism has already become a part of your personality, but will you let us help you?"

He hesitated, but nodded slowly after.

"Is there anything you want me to do for you?"

Joseph frowned, then said timidly, "Yes. Please don't leave me alone. Stay with me, just for tonight."

Alice froze. She looked at his state, then finally scraping up a measure of trust, she covered herself with the sheets, shuffled over to him and hugged him. Joseph exhaled into her clothing and allowed himself to rest in her arms.

Mm. I pot roasted chicken for dinner. It was ~awesome~.

Thought: "The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."

- Arnold H. Glasow

~Anne Callendar