And now Holly is off in San Francisco. What is Gail going to do?

She felt entirely hopeless.

That was the problem.

She was also possibly in love, which was also a problem, but she was going to be in unrequited love since the one person she'd thought she could trust with her heart had left her. Twice. They couldn't even talk anymore as it was just too hard. When she'd left Holly's house after that last talk, she had been near tears. It ripped at her heart and burned her soul (she did have one) because she really liked the woman. She maybe possibly loved her. Who the hell knew.

But now, a month later, she had no girlfriend, no family who wanted to talk to her thanks to all that crap, no adoption, and no roommates. She was perfectly alone in her apartment.

Maybe it was all for the best though. Maybe she just didn't need anyone anymore. They all shoved you aside for themselves. It didn't really make her feel better but it made her less angry when she stopped caring about them all, including Holly. So she stopped thinking about how easy it would be to find Holly's address and just get on a plane.

One thing Holly had taught her was that change could be good. That idea sat with her a long time as she looked over the bulletin boards. Oliver, her partner again, caught her at it one afternoon and spent their patrol asking her if she was going to do something silly. Except he was Oliver, so he spun out a long story about how some changes were good and some were sad and then admitted he was regretting stepping down as Sergeant.

Gail smiled a little and told him Sgt. Noelle was going to be fine, especially with them on the street. Oliver gave her a little side eye but nodded. When they went to dinner on their break, a few weeks later, though, she talked to him about things. She told him about how she was still torn up from everything, how she was tired of being angry and sad, and she just needed to change something.

All Oliver wanted to check was that she wasn't leaving him.

Except she knew this meant she would.

The idea came to her as soon as Oliver asked her to promise she'd stick around and talk to him. He'd been so right. Everything since Sophie had hurt more, except it wasn't really Sophie. It was Holly. Ever since Holly had given her that first glimpse of a life beyond just being alone and in pain, she'd started to see futures for herself.

Sure, that hadn't worked out, but it planted a seed. She held onto the thought, keeping it to herself, as she tried to smile her way through McNally and Swarek's wedding. But that had been hard. She remembered Frank and Noelle's wedding, that first time she'd felt Holly's so soft lips on her own. That moment she rethought everything, denied it all, and then realized there was a point to it. She was different.

The gay thing made sense. Women made sense. And this next step, this choice also made sense.

She didn't really have anyone to talk to about it, though. Dov and Chris were still hurt that she'd moved out, Traci was back with Steve and he was a Peck, and the Pecks were very anti-Gail. Testifying against your family name had a tendency to screw things up. She wasn't the first Peck who'd done that, and she wouldn't be the last.

What she was, was Peck-non-grata.

So she did what she always did when frustrated and lacking a safe outlet and messed with her hair. She chopped her hair off, again, and dyed it dark brown. Instead of drinking, this time she started going to the gym more often. Chloe remarked on it, seeing her in the mornings with disturbing regularity. They tried to talk, or at least Chloe did, and Gail shoved her earbuds in a little tighter and played her music a little louder.

In the end, she didn't tell anyone until the paperwork hit Noelle's desk. She didn't even tell Nick, who had made the whole situation extra awkward when she'd asked him for help without explaining why. He'd decided that she meant she wanted another chance with him and tried to kiss her. This time, though, her punch laid him out flat on his back and she took his motorcycle. Instead of just a small bruise under his eye, Nick sported a nearly shut shiner for a week and was stuck on the desk.

Noelle noticed that too and asked her what happened. All Gail flippantly said was that he didn't understand what 'lesbian' meant. And Nick let it go. Perhaps he was scared. Perhaps he'd gotten the clue. She still hadn't returned the motorcycle, and he could just suck that up.

"Peck, in my office after Parade," announced Noelle as she walked into the room a month later.

Beside her, Chloe hissed asking what she'd done. "None of your business, Price."

"You did something," insisted Chloe.

Gail narrowed her eyes. "Shut. Up."

Parade was normal. Boring. But Noelle's office was a different matter.

"What the hell is this, Gail?"

Gail closed the door and shoved her hands in her pockets. "A transfer request," she said dismissively.

"Gail," growled Noelle.

That was the mom-voice. Gail rocked on her heels. "I can do it."

"Really? Since when?"

"When what?"

"When did you learn to ride, for starters."

"A long time ago."

Noelle pinched the bridge of her nose. "Is that why you punched Nick?"

"No. Yes. Maybe." Gail sighed. "No. And yes, Nick taught me how to ride the first time we dated." She looked above Noelle's head and sighed.

The woman grumbled. "You're leaving."

Gail nodded. But that couldn't really be what was bugging Noelle so much. "It's not… It's not you or anything," she sighed in a moment of awareness. Bingo. Noelle looked relieved. "I just need a change."

"Oliver said you had a rough year," sighed Noelle, sympathetically. "Are you okay?"

She absolutely was not okay at all, not in any sense of the word. Nothing was okay. Nothing had been okay for a long time. Rough year? Try rough forever. Maybe her childhood wasn't as bad as Chris, who had to be a grown up way too fast. And it wasn't as bad as Nick's, with his dead parents. But sometimes she really felt like being alone was just what was going to be.

"Yeah," she lied to Noelle. "I just need to be somewhere where I'm not a Peck."

Noelle winced. There were so few places in Toronto policing where that could even be a possibility. "You're sure?" When Gail nodded, Noelle nodded back. "Okay. I'll help you, but … This is going to make some noise, Gail."

"Tell me something I don't know," Gail grimaced back.

It made a lot of noise when the paperwork went through. She got the date and asked Noelle not to make a thing about the change. Of course Noelle would have to announce it, but at Gail's pleading request, she waited till the last day.

Before that, though, she had a lot of little things to do. Suddenly her assignments took her over to the new building. A lot. She didn't get tapped to work with the Ds anymore, and that was noticed. Traci outright asked if Gail was avoiding her. At the Penny one night, Dov remarked that they never saw her and Gail flippantly told him she was too cool for them.

She did, however, pay Nick for his motorcycle.

Before Holly, she'd never have thought about it. But the nagging Holly voice in the back of her head said her name and she changed her mind. Gail had it appraised when she took it to the shop and presented Nick with a check the next day. Briefly he argued he didn't want to sell, but in the end he took the money and handed over the papers. After all, Nick barely rode it anymore anyways.

Gail rode it daily. She loved it. Riding the motorcycle felt good. It also pissed off her mother, which was just normal now.

The last family dinner she went to, she told her parents about the internal affairs inquest, and was asked to leave the house.

Yeah. There was no real telling her family about the transfer. Elaine only knew about the bike because Gail accidentally pulled up beside her mother at a stoplight. She'd been paying more attention to the attractive woman in the convertible on the other side, who had been smiling at her. Not that she was interested in the woman, but it was nice to be flirted with.

Then she heard her name and turned the other way. Elaine was staring at her in abject shock. Gail blinked and then shrugged. What could she do? With a head tilt to her mother, Gail just drove off when the light changed.

A few weeks later, she told them about IA. After that, Elaine didn't call. Neither did Bill. Steve showed up at her apartment to talk, though, which was novel. They rarely talked about their feelings or their lives or plans. This time, however, she told Steve what she was doing. He didn't really comment. He did, but only to ask if she was sure. Then he wanted to help. Because Pecks are loyal.

Between Steve and Noelle, she got the job. It wasn't a shock. She knew they were looking for someone who could ride a motorcycle (check), had police skills (check), looked good (check), and had good interpersonal skills (...). That last one was a stretch, but she had hoped her track record would speak for itself, and it did.

It gave her something to look forward to. That was better than home had been. She'd yet to decorate her apartment, or even really unpack. Her mattress was still on the floor. Flat packed boxes of furniture were stacked in the corner, unbuilt. It had been hard to brace herself with the drive to take car of her home.

But now, with a destination in site, she turned down a night at the Penny with Traci, saying she needed to put together furniture. After being teased about being worse than Andy, Gail found herself hosting a hen party, consisting of Andy and Chloe and Traci, to build her furniture.

Three beers each later, Gail had a couch, a bed, and a bookshelf. Chloe organized the books while Andy put together the TV table, leaving Traci and Gail to sort out the bedroom. Apparently Steve had told Traci not to bother Gail. He'd said his baby sister had a 'thing' going on that was good, but took a lot of time and effort.

It surprised Gail how hard it was to not tell Traci. Especially when Traci asked if Gail was seeing someone. That ended with the four of them spread across the couch, the kitchen table chairs (the table itself still incomplete) and the easy chair, talking about if Gail should get back out into the dating world. Gail ... Gail didn't want to. She was pretty sure she was gay now, seeing as her dreams had been constantly haunted by a beautiful brunette with glasses.

The dreams were a big problem, not that she was telling them about dreams that were predominantly about Holly. She sure as hell wasn't telling them that she still had fantasies about Holly and the way she touched... No.

No, Gail just said she didn't want to date anyone. And of all people, Chloe seemed to understand it best. Sometimes, Chloe explained, there's a person and you fall for them hard and it changes everything. Chloe and Dov still were barely speaking. Andy was engaged. Traci was seeing Steve again.

Maybe that was why she and Chloe started actually talking. They understood each other, the pain of being in love and joy having it. Gail felt it was worse for Chloe, who had to see Dov every day. She'd been there with Nick and Chris. But Chloe thought it was worse for Gail because she'd had so little time with Holly and then she left.

But many nights were spent hanging out with Chloe and talking about the pressure of being legacies in a way different from Andy. They talked about how boys sucked. They talked about how Gail was very much a lesbian. They people watched on patrol, inventing games as to if they'd shag, marry, or kill various people. Even Oliver started to worry about the friendship when they developed their own slang.

So she told Chloe. They were sitting at Gail's table, finally put together, eating Chinese takeout and trying to decide what movie to watch on yet another single girls night. And Gail just said it. In four weeks she was transferring to Traffic Services. Chloe looked gutted. She was hurt Gail hadn't told her before. She was angry that Gail was leaving her.

Wasn't that a trip? When had Gail ever thought about leaving people? People always left her. She found herself apologizing to Chloe about pulling the rug out from, under her. She apologized about not telling anyone. And she explained about the Pecks and how she had to change.

Gail had forgotten than Chloe had moved to their division for a similar reason. Lovelorn, being judged for who she was and wasn't. But where Chloe had moved to Fifteen where her godfather worked. She moved to friends. Gail was going out fully on her own for a change. The tiny little Chloe understood that and hugged she demanded Gail take her for a ride on the motorcycle and declared that she could be gay for Gail and that motorcycle.

When her last day hit, Steve came and sat in on parade.

"Assignments are on the board," breath Noelle, looking right at Gail. "But one last thing. Today is Officer Peck's last day with us in Fifteen." The room got very loud and Gail felt everyone looking at her. "Tomorrow she starts in Traffic Enforcement Group as a motorcycle patrol trainee." The noise stopped. "Do us proud, Peck."

Gail nodded and stayed at the table while person after person came by to ask if this was for real, and how serious and why didn't she tell them.

"Won't traffic be boring?" Andy was quite stunned.

"I'm just trying to picture you on a motorcycle," admitted Dov. "I mean, you ride? That's hot."

Smacking her fist into his chest, Gail scowled. "Yes, I can ride a motorcycle."

Weirdly, Nick came to her defense. "She stole mine."

"Bought," corrected Gail, amused.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Threatening me while shoving a check into my hand?"

"You cashed the check."

After a momentary pause, Nick grimaced. "Shut up."

Andy shook her head. "I'm with Dov. You, that haircut, a motorcycle? Hotness."

Gail narrowed her eyes at Andy. "Don't push your luck, McNally. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm after your scrawny ass."

"Man, the dykes on bikes jokes." Chris winced. "I'm sorry."

They were not something Gail looked forward to, but she was prepared. "Not a big deal." Chris didn't look so sure, but nodded. "I meant, I am a smoking hot lesbian." If she laughed at it first, it would be better.

"Total stereotype," teased Dov. "Man, you're really breaking up the band."

"Sucks you have to leave Fifteen," sighed Chloe. "I mean, I felt like we were getting not be friends."

"No, that's just in your mind, Price," Gail sassed, and she knew Chloe knew it. They were friends, she and Chloe, which was why she'd warned her friend.

And yes, she was a little sad to be leaving her friends. Friends. What a weird word for those people. They were, indeed, her friends. She leaned on them when she was sad, she helped them. And yet she was still apart from them all.

A very annoyed Oliver cut the line. "Peck, you're with me." He called her Peck, not Gail. She didn't say anything as she followed him to the squad. "You're driving."

Taking the keys, she kitted up and slid into the seat. "I'll get lunch," she said carefully.

"No. No. You're going to tell me what's going on in that noggin of yours, Peck. And we, you and I, we're going to talk like we talk. Because we talk."

His words hit harder than he probably meant. Gail had never told him about Holly's babble, how she'd fumbled over the fact that they talked. That was their thing. "Okay," she told Oliver. Because he was Oliver.

And she did tell him. More than she told Steve. She told him about Holly and the fight, which she hadn't before. Then she told him about the moment where they got back together and broke up for good, because it was just going to be too, too hard.

Oliver, being Oliver, understood. And he supported the choice, even though he complained he'd been left out of it. And he made Gail buy lunch.

At the end of shift, Dov insisted she show them how well she could ride the motorcycle by driving him to the Penny. She knew what was coming. After all, Chloe kept asking what she'd be doing that night while she 'helped' Gail clean out her locker. The party was small. Just her rookie class, Nick, Chloe, and a few people they worked with. Someone had dragged Callaghan out from whatever rock he'd been under. At least he'd shaved the scruff.

When she went to get the next round of drinks, he tagged along to pay and started chatting her up. "I'm not into you, Homicide," she warned him.

"That's not how I remember it."

They'd never slept together. Thank god. They hadn't kissed either. But there had been some palpable tension and she'd thought about it, back when Andy had turfed him. "Give up, I don't do the boys anymore. At all."

Luke looked shocked. "Wait, that wasn't a joke?"

Circling her face with a finger, Gail drawled, "See this face? Lesbian."

He put down cash for the drinks. "Did not see that coming, Traffic."

Gail blinked and looked up at Luke. "Traffic?"

Nodding, Luke pointed at himself. "Homicide." Then at Gail. "Traffic."

"Dumb ass," Gail snapped, pointing at him and taking the drinks.

But Luke followed her back to the table. "So tell me the truth. Did Collins ruin you on men?"

"No, McNally did that," grumbled Gail, winning a confused and vaguely horrified look from Luke. "Look, Homicide. Would you date men?" When he hesitated, she smirked. Victory. "Exactly my point." And Luke did not ask again.

The night dragged on and Gail felt less and less a part of their crowd as it did. She'd always felt a little separate but now, this choice sent her further away. She was just Gail Peck, rookie motorcycle cop, stray Peck. A pale fail.

The next day would be the start of her new life. Her new career. She was a motorcycle cop. A rookie again, but with a new lease on life and a direction she was starting to feel a little better about herself. She was feeling better about her future. So what if she was alone. She could do this just fine without anyone. She had no interest in dating again, anyway.

It was weird, but for the first time since Holly left, she was starting to feel like the future didn't suck quite so much.

Still not the end. But do enjoy the image of Gail Peck: Motorcycle Cop.

The motorcycle cop is the least realistic aspect of policing I've written. I know that's not how it works in Toronto. It amuses me and thus it will be this way.